Harriet Mentzer and Gail Greener

Recorded June 28, 2017 Archived July 24, 2017 00:00 minutes
Audio not available

Interview ID: lsk001786

Description

Harriet Mantzer (67) talks with her friend, Gail Greener (59) about her time as a hospice nurse, caring for cancer patients, and delivering babies. She shares about being a rancher and the death of her seventeen-year-old daughter.

Subject Log / Time Code

HM talks about her time at St. Patrick's school of nursing, and working there after graduation.
HM tells how she worked as an ICU nurse before taking her board exams.
HM recounts a story about a cancer patient who died, and a cloud goes by her like a hand, and she went back to the house of the family, and gave every person a hug.
HM says she learned about listening and awareness from the hand in the sky story.
HM says she had one miscarriage a year for three years, then had a healthy baby.
HM talks about being chosen to go to Salt Lake city to learn about post op open heart surgery in 1976, when she was one of the youngest nurses on staff.
HM talks about not being well-liked for being the one to teach her staff about new open heart surgery.
HM says she went to work in a nursing home, where a resentful charge nurse kept her from doing challegning work.
HM decided to deal with that work environment by enjoying talking with her patients, especially about animals.
HM says personal connections and sharing with her patients is important to her.
HM talks about balancing her nursing life with her ranch life.
Hm talks about a calf named Spencer who went on a "walkabout"
HM recalls when she was at nursing school at Carol College, and how overwhelming it was. That was the only time she ever considered quitting.
HM talks about how her daughter and son are now nurses.
HM tells a story about a member of her father's "coffe club," who became her home health patient, and how she spent a night at his bedside in order to let the family rest.
HM tells another story about delivering a baby in a motel, and running into the mother 18 years later.
HM says how many cattle she has on her ranch, and talks about how busy calving season is.
HM says she feels most greatful for being able to help people and going home feeling fulfilled.
HM talks about her proudest nursing moment, with a cancer patient. He went into comfort care, and not long after his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.
HM says she kept in contact with the wife after the man's death, and how the woman called HM when she was contemplating suicide.
HM continues to explain how this woman had been raped as a teenager, and her testimony sent her attackers to prison. When they came out of prison, she was afraid they were going to find her.
HM says the woman felt better with her support.
HM talks about following up with patients, and how it's not a burden for her.
HM talks about how, before cell phones, patients would go find her on the ranch.
HM shares the wisdom she tries to pass on to younger nurses.
HM talks about the book she is writing about nursing, collecting the stories and experiences of other nurses.
HM says she is most grateful for her family, and for having 4 children after 3 miscarriages, and for getting throught the death of her seventeen year-old daughter.
HM talks about going back to work after her daughter was killed.
HM tells a quick story about breaking a chair and falling over.
HM remembers her deceased daughter, both her positive traits and her daughter's struggles with addiction and depression.
HM talks about her daughter's time in the neuro-behavioral unit.
HM remembers how her daughter's life ended on a high note, when she had put her life together and was feeling better.
HM gives advice to pay attention if your child is going through those things and to get them help.
HM talks about how her daughter got in a fight with a girl gang in Drummond, but how that helped get the gang members out of the community because she stood up to them.
HM talks about her annual ranch party.

Participants

  • Harriet Mentzer
  • Gail Greener

Recording Location

Providence MT Health Foundation Carriage House

Venue / Recording Kit

Partnership Type

Fee for Service

Transcript

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00:01 My name is Gail Greener. I am 59 years old today is June 28th, 2017. We are located Missoula Montana and I am speaking with Harriet who is a co-worker of mine, although any different specialty.

00:19 Hello. I am Harriet menser. I am 67 years old today's date is 628 of 2017. I work at st. Patrick Hospital currently and Missoula Montana and Dale is a co-worker of mine.

00:35 So. I know that you're a nurse here at st. Patrick hospital, but I also know that you went to nursing school here and your picture is on the wall. So what I'd like to know is what was it like going to nursing school here and then working in the same hospital system as you after you got out.

00:57 It was fat.

00:59 My first year of nursing school why you often have to take the college courses and I went to Carroll College in Helena, and then I went to Germany for a year with my husband and came back to st. Patrick's School of Nursing. So I was a married student and there was only about four of us. So I did not live in the dorm. I lived with my aunt and uncle here in town three days a week and went home on Wednesday nights and on the weekends. I spent a lot of time in the library doing my there was a library that was joined between St. Pat's and the School of Nursing and I could do my studies there or look up whatever I need to do to their working after graduating from the school of nursing here was great because every quarter we had spent a Time on the floor, so we were familiar with every piece of tape at

01:59 Hospital whether it was surgery whether it was med-surg or whether it was I see you where we are and I work as a graduate nurse right to start with and the ICU three days a week and two days a week as a float nurse that was before I took my boards, but it was sure a good education towards the Poor's you work as an ICU nurse before you took your boards. Yes, how how hard was that for you and it was that really scary for you? No. No because you had the skills we had been trained and there were good people to work with good co-workers. So it's always people to ask questions if you needed it cool cool. And so as a nurse here, I imagine you have

02:46 Incredible stories about certain patients what I was wondering was

02:55 What?

02:58 If you what has been the one of the funniest patient city that you have worked with. Do you have any stories at about some of the patients but there could be any patients or patients that are really really touch you. Do you have any stories about those? I have a lot of stories. I don't know if there are funny but I have a lot of stories to tell me when okay to will start with one back when I did public telephone home health and Drummond, which is 50 miles from here and it's a small town with we just have Health Center or a clinic as Olive and a doctor 2 days a week and this patient I had heard you hear a lot of Grapevine in a small town and I heard it wasn't doing well and they had not contacted me to help so I called and this was on a Wednesday and I said I hear that he is not doing well.

03:55 I will not mention exact names and would you like me to help and our come see if I could help and they said certainly so this was on a Wednesday and I went and this patient is dying from cancer. He's laying in the middle of a king size bed and it looks extremely uncomfortable. So within the next day or are they even that night? We got him into hospital bed and another room in their home and got him comfortable. Got to admit it on Home Health Thursday. He still going downhill and Friday and trying to get the family to realize this is the dying process and it's going to happen soon. So that wasn't much time to you know, they knew me I knew them but there wasn't much time to get them ready. He died on Friday night.

04:51 Friday night after it when he died. They called me and I'll say it's been requested to do and it was a summer night. I came to town and help the call the mortuary and when they came which is another 37 miles away. I helped load him out. And then they had this is midnight by this time and they called neighbors across the street and they were all going to sit and have an alcoholic drink and and relax for a bit. And since I'm not a drinker I decided it was my best time to depart.

05:27 And I said he parted I did not feel good about the situation.

05:31 And this is an interesting part of this. I just felt like I was leaving something empty and as I got out of town and it's midnight and is it just a mile and a half or so is this huge hand in front of my face? It's actually a cloud looks like a huge hand bigger than this room and I sat there nothing's going by at midnight sat there at the intersection. And so what does this mean? What does this mean?

06:02 Oh, gosh. I don't know how I can do this while I have to I turned around and went back to the house.

06:10 And knock on the door and said I went to go home. But there's this huge hand in the sky. That's told me I had to come back.

06:19 May I come in and give you each a hug I gave them all a hug then I felt fulfilled like I had done what I needed to do and left again. I went home and went to sleep and they were so impressed. I don't know if they really believe this was hand in the sky. It was a hand in the sky and but they are one of the daughters was taught in the university and she brought that hand in the sky story to people in her psychology class. Wow, so it was

06:55 A fulfilling time a very stressful time but a fulfilling time so I imagine.

07:04 What did that teach you what did you learn from that?

07:08 To listen to the other cues that are there not just not just what you've been taught in nursing to look for and try to discern what else you need to do to help ya. So it sounds like you didn't spend your whole career at st. Pat's then. No. I didn't we are ranchers also, so my first five years I was at Saint Pat's and I work in ICU much of the time. I had three miscarriages during that time once I want a year for 3 years then had a life healthy baby. And since they didn't want to hold my job.

07:51 To where I could come back to ICU. I came back to it cuz I had had those miscarriages I went to work as a

08:00 Charge nurse on an overflow word and the old Old Saint Pat's Hospital and also during my time that it was there though 19.

08:16 76 I believe I went to Salt Lake City. I was the one chosen from ICU and and another nurse was chosen from surgery to go to Salt Lake City with the open heart surgeon. That was just starting open heart and the pump tech to learn about post op open heart surgery for them for learning piano for her to learn inpatient and for Rin surgery and made a turn. And I came back. I was a young nurse you can imagine that young whippersnapper in my 20s. And these older nurses are there they were not happy with me because I was to come back and teach them how to it keeps them and the doctor the doctor help me to teach them how to take care of post op open heart surgery patient and what kind of equipment we needed.

09:06 I will probably was not liked very well for the first year of that. I helped with the first hundred open heart surgeries and st. Patrick hospital. So this was when they first started the program here then yes. Wow with the first open heart surgery with the first holding our surgeon.

09:25 How many and from there the reason I didn't spend further time is where ranchers the lease on the ranch that we were at was increasing. So we chose to rent lease a ranch and Chouteau. So we moved to Chouteau from being an open heart surgery and making major decisions along the way I went to work in a nursing home. Well, very strange very different 8 years and the charge nurse felt threatened by me and ICU nurse coming in and so she didn't want me even taking an order to discontinue Ace bandages. I was essentially for 8 years worked as a student nurse. She never got past that no.

10:12 Wow, how was that for you? I decided I would take my good parts of it and talk with the patients. So every morning as a made my rounds with the patient's I told them some story those that could understand me or even those that didn't I tell him what I saw on the road coming to work while it was a raccoon or bear or it was in the dining area where I used to travel and if I didn't see a new animal then I'd say well I was talking to those dinosaurs to move out of my way. I had to go buy something to bring some enjoyment to their lives. So it sounds like being a people person in and talking with a patient and being as patient as people is as important to you as your nursing skills are very much so

11:04 Yeah, I cannot go into a patient's room to just give them their medicine or do their procedure without talking with them and finding out something about them or sharing something from me. So they feel like they're not just giving all information and not receiving any so becomes a conversation. Yes.

11:28 So you've got your life as a nurse versus your life as a Rancher on a ranch versus your work as a nurse. So how how has that been for you? Has that been a big struggle? Because you're still ranching, correct? Yes. I'm still ranching at 6 to 12 hour shifts a day a week. It has been stressful. Yes. I had like I said those three miscarriages for healthy children and the ranch both my husband and I were working while we're raising those children both of us working full-time and trying to take care of the ranch and take care of the children. So lot of hard hours lot of hard work and keeping a person going but the stress from that you get with dying patients or the stress you get in the hospital taking care of

12:28 Situations there. I could go home and ride a horse or go move the cows and distress so that part was good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, and then you can bring your stories from the ranching life to your to your patients here at the hospital. Yes, or wherever you were working. Yes, even to the staff the other day. We had a 5 month old calf disappear and we couldn't find him. His name is Spencer and he's pick him up on your pet and they said I think he went on a walkabout and it took us 24 hours to find him. He did he went on a walkabout. He went under the fence and a mile away finally was found and brought home much to his disgruntlement. But yes, they enjoyed it.

13:17 Was there ever a time you wanted to quit nursing know? The only time was when I was going to nursing school the first year after being off for a year between my college at Carroll College and starting at St. Pat's as the in the school of nursing that first year. I'd go home and I was having to be away from my husband living here and it's new school anybody that went to school with and Carroll College was I waited a year ahead of me, but I felt behind and have not got a disco hit the first year. So I'd go home and I cry on my husband's shoulder. You can do it you can do it. I said if there's anything else I wanted to do I do what he says. It's okay, you'll do it. That was the only time good support system. Yes good support system.

14:18 That's great. That's great. And so you have a daughter. Now who's a nurse? Yes and a son and a son whose interests. Wow. So how is that for you? It's wonderful. It makes me realize that they did see what nursing did they were even from when I work Public Health Home Health First 16 years in my County. They sometimes I'd have to I took my son with me probably to one of the first. Patients who had passed away. He was young but he was home by himself otherwise and so he just sat in the chair while I took care of what I needed to take care of they both realized that that was a profession that they could do that there was a need and the money their money would be there and the Fulfillment would be there. Yeah. Yeah. So between the ranch and the nursing do you find one more fulfilled?

15:18 The next or than the other

15:22 Nursing at least brings in money the grandest takes it that's why I'm still working even though I do continue to drive working. So you came with stories. Yes. Tell me a story. Okay, I'll tell you another story and this what they will say coffee Club. This is Cindy small towns about 4-5 gentleman that went to Coffee in the mornings Ranch and my dad had Parkinson's and he would get shaky ER and he drew as things got worse became incontinent at times but the coffee Club never left him.

16:11 They would help hold the coffee if it was to it because of a cup of it was too too much for him that day. Well one of those members became one of my dying home health patients who had cancer and an taking care of him. I

16:30 One of his sons. I went to school with him. I class for 12 years and one was older and they came from Billings and spent time like a week at a time. Then go back to the job the other income for a week and the wife is there.

16:47 Buy towards the end of this which isn't long but it's terribly stressful on any family. They had just about had it there. We're ready to give up send them to hospital. Whatever and I said would it help if I came and spent the night you both get a nice sleep and they said yes. I said I can sleep anywhere Anytime Anyplace. So I'm they told me I can move anything. I wanted we had a hospital bed there. So I moved a and he tried getting up and over the bed rails the night before so they were afraid of him falling. So I we didn't have the rules that you couldn't put side rails up there.

17:26 And so we had both side rails up and I put my chair which was a recliner right next to him and put my arm to the side rail where I could feel to be his arm. So if you moved it would wake me and went to sleep. He did not try to get out of bed if you were awake and I would talk to him and some her along the night the wife got up and brought a blanket and covered me up and in the morning I went home and they were able to continue which was no more than two more days before he passed away. They just needed that break you gave them the gift of rest. Yes. That's what they needed and where you were doing hospice before hospice was there. Yes, it was we had a registered or licensed Home Health, but not licensed hospice. So we did a lot of hospice there.

18:27 Meet so that was a second one. Do you have time for another one? We have time for lots of them. Okay. I got a call. I was public health nurse got a call that someone was at the motel and she was going into labor. She is.

18:44 50 Mi away from Missoula to go to the hospital and it's in the middle of the winter. So I went there stop at the house they office and got my OB bag that was there never been opened and deliver the baby in the hospital room. And then we called the ambulance and had the cord clamped and they took care of the rest and they got her to the hospital in the ambulance after the baby was born in the baby was fine. Scary. I really get scared delivering babies by myself. They are not breathing when they're first born and

19:21 Interesting enough one day working at the hospital again at Saint Pat's. I walked into a room and said I'm here. This patient looked at me and said, are you here yet from Drummond. Really? I said, yes. She said you deliver my baby 18 years ago. Wow in the motel and I said, how is it she says Wonder Isn't that who would ever expect 18 years later to have that story around that something I made it was a grateful feelings that I did. I almost forgot. I had another baby. I delivered in the back of a car on the Main Street with small town. I got a call and said I was supposed to be doing the dog workshop for the four h's and I got a call that said

20:16 Can you come now? My sister is in labor. The family did not know she was even pregnant. She was a teenager until she went into labor. They just thought she was get rounder in the middle. And so I delivered that baby. If everybody could have a baby like this teenager did it would be wonderful what was different about it. She didn't scream. She didn't tell her she didn't have any pain meds on board.

20:43 The baby was blue when it was born and I did the old-fashioned way. He'll come up by the feet spank them on their hind her and tell her the baby cried in the baby's fine. Does is a grown up now. Yeah, and then that was another one for the hospital came and voted him up later and then had to collect my wits about me and go home and teach a dog class for a dog obedience station to four h's well. Yes II Top Dog workshops. Yes for a dog obedience. Wow. Wow. How many cattle do you have on your Ranch? We have had up to a hundred head before we have just a small acreage. Now, we now have about 50 head. So calving season must be a challenge for you as well. Kevin is the most busy time of the year at plus. We are calves out between 80 and 100 head of someone else's holy cow, and you're still working.

21:43 Getting that. My husband's not working at another job at this time which helps that he's there and my daughter and her used to be your husband. And now there's a significant other that's there who are also helping so and the grandkids are growing up to help do they live nearby to half a mile? What did you what do you feel most grateful for?

22:12 Oh to be able to help people and go home and feel fulfilled.

22:20 To be able to have that ability and that knowledge is wonderful.

22:27 That's neat. And what is your proudest nursing moment?

22:34 I think this one just came to me this last year. I had another patient here at the hospital when he came in he had cancer. He looked perfectly healthy and I had to start his IV, and he said you've got one chance.

22:52 I said that's okay.

22:54 And we got the IV in one shot long through his chemo. He ended up.

23:04 Having to go to ICU. He was in really bad shape. I went down cuz I had to give some chemo to him even in that bad of shape in the ICU. His wife said is he going to die? Everybody tells me he's going to be. All right. Is he going to die? I said, let's go talk in the lounge and we went to talk and I said, you know, he may die. He is very very well. And this is a tough diagnosis that he has so throughout the year. It was a couple years we did getting back on his feet and back home and he left a couple more years was into the infusion center for my daughter got to take care of him, which is really fun. We shared patients between her and I-5 North to infusion and we still share patients. They got along really well. They had a very good rapport, but then he came in and needed to go on Comfort Care.

24:04 And I talked to him about that nieces and let's go for it later after that 6 months later. His wife ended up with breast cancer.

24:14 At but I continue to stay in contact with her. So tell tell me what Comfort Care is again. Comfort Care is where you make the patient comfortable because like like we have

24:29 Cancer they often have a lot of pain you get that pain under control. If they decide they don't do not want to be resuscitated if they died. That's a comfort care. So what they're there for is Comfort they are in the dying process and they need comfort Comfort measures. So then did he die he did and so after after he had passed away she had the cancer then just recently and this is several years now later keep in contact with her having lunch with her and Deer Lodge or Drummond or whatever once in awhile once in awhile call.

25:14 She called me while I was at my daughter's my daughter had a baby and I was there helping and I Knew by her calling. There was something wrong. I said may I finish dinner and then call you back? She said yes, I called several times with no answer. I was not going to quit I continue to call continue to call continued to call finally she answered and she said Harriet I had to gather myself. I said I understand I said you can talk I am downstairs, but there's nobody else around she was contemplating suicide. She had been raped and left to die as a teenager.

25:55 And

25:57 Someone had found her and she had lived through it and she had to this is what she told me then never knew any of this before and she had

26:15 I thought these two people that there was two people that were involved. She had her testimony had sent them to jail to prison. They had come out of prison and she knew that one of them has since died, but she thought they were she was alone and she thought she had the feeling they were going to find her and she would rather it. I said, of course you're thinking of killing yourself before they find you you don't ever want to go through this again, right but after talking with her and her able to share some of that she said her husband never even understood all that. She went through was never very supportive on that, but she didn't want to call her kids and upset them, but she was able to share with me and she and I called it the next morning. She said. Even hearing your voice saying you call me back. I was okay. Wow.

27:09 So, you know, sometimes you don't know she said I knew from the time you talk to me in intensive care and said he may die that you are honest.

27:22 So sometimes you can't just sugarcoat what they're going through and I think that was my highlight of my career is to feel like I actually saved a person from suicide.

27:35 Wow, good for you.

27:37 It sounds like you really.

27:44 You really get close to your patients to certain patients because I I hear some nurses will follow up but I'm hearing story after story where you're following up with people and it seems to be part of who you are and how you you you do your you're nursing and you as a person does it ever become a burden for you know, no burden if they call me. That's fine. If I call them I do it when I have that time to be able to do it a lot of times for this one that was kind of wedding suicide after he had passed away. I would call her on my way home. There's an hour's worth of Drive.

28:30 Though I would find time to do that. No, not a burden. So pleasure. Do you selectively give your phone number out or do you give it out when they when they ask for it selectively select I don't give it to anybody. Okay, just those Eve had a connection with right, right? And of course when I was home, I have some public-house they all have my phone and if I at that time, I didn't have a cell phone that's in the olden years, you know, and if they didn't get me the answer they come out and find me on the ranch. If I was in the calving barn if I was out in the Hayfield just to take your blood pressure or to go put bandages on that are steri-strips a daughter who had been had a cut.

29:19 And they would take off for my bailing while I went and took care of the silver your Bailey.

29:31 Those were all people. I knew they became all the whole County of people became my family. Wow, and so I was on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

29:44 So it was it was interesting. It was a lot of work but yet I was there for my kids too.

29:50 So

29:52 If you were going to give some if you were going to if you what wisdom would you pass on two nurses who were just graduating today?

30:03 I try to pass on wisdom to them every day. So tell us about that wisdom here is that it doesn't happen overnight that you feel comfortable. You may never feel comfortable in all situations. Cuz new things happen. Learn something new everyday ask questions. If you if you are unsure I teach them how to start IVs if they want to learn I teach them different techniques for putting in Foley catheters the other day. I was amazed because like I said, if you couldn't hear me, it'll be amazing. But I you know it we had a patient that

30:51 We couldn't get the Foley catheter in a female patient. I said a long time ago. We had to been 20 years ago. We had the patient turn on her side with her knees bent and were able to visualize and put in a Foley. So I passed that on at work perfectly on that day for the patient. So I passed it on to any nurse that would listen to me less than two weeks later. They had to use that procedure and it work for somebody else cuz that person couldn't lay on their back. Wow. So I just I just try anything that I can teach them that I have learned. I learned from them to that got more book learning now then I do but I you know, so I learned from each of them they learn from me. So it sounds like the advice you would give for future Generations would be just to keep open to learning from anyone if there is anything to learn from nursing there is change every day. There's change. Yeah, 45 years of change.

31:51 But yes, oh absolutely. So what kind of books would you recommend to to new nurses or what kind of books would you recommend to those of us who were listening to this interview? The one I'm writing the one you're riding tell me about this. It is one of the most fun things that I have done in my nursing career. Really I wanted to write a book and I wanted the time to do it. That's what I want to do when I retired since I didn't get to retire because we're at the ranch still uses the money and I kind of like the money and I love the patient care and I can still do my job. So I cut down from three 12-hour shifts to two. So one day a week I try to do calving season took away from that for a few months this summer this winter I should say, but I'm writing a book about nursing why a person went into nursing what age they were when they went into nursing.

32:48 What they do in their off time when they're not working as a nurse stories like you're asking me about a what is the most memorable story they have to tell so that goes in the book it is so enlightening to listen to their stories. So and so you're listening to other stories and you're putting them in your book. Yes, and you're putting your own stories in as well. I haven't even started on my stories yet. That's interesting. So you're doing a lot of interviewing yourself. Yes. I'm hacked this afternoon. I have an interview schedule cuz I can't come to Missoula for one thing. I've got at least two or three sure sure cuz it's quite a ways and it is so fun so fun.

33:43 That's it. Feels like

33:46 Maybe what you're feeling some of it is that they are able to open up and tell me and I feel a such a privilege to hear their stories. So what are you most grateful for in in your life?

34:03 In my life

34:06 My family

34:08 My family that I had three miscarriages I had that I lost them that I had four healthy children one died at the age of 17 in a car accident that we are all able to come through that thinking what can we learn from this of her life of her death where we can help others and has been so many incidents as we've been able to help and so family and God's help and being able to help others. There's not one thing. No,

34:43 Never is one thing is her know now the My 5 North family will after I lost my daughter in the car accident. I went back to back to work 10 days after she was killed because I've always been the leader of the family. My son had to go back to the Marines my one daughter. Just had a baby. She was done with all of her maternity leave. The other is a beautician had to go back to her job. They couldn't go back to work. If mom wasn't going. I mean I felt they could go back to work at mom wasn't leading in my back to work too, and I asked the fellow.

35:24 Employees to not talk to me about the death about the accident while I was at work talk to me about patience.

35:33 And they could leave me a note in my locker or they could talk to me after I was off shift and they did that when I was ready to talk they listened. Wow.

35:44 Good group of people that you work with fabulous father Frank father Frank to it was a blessing. He told me they called the day after she was killed and I told him that I wanted to go see her body and everybody in the family that don't do that. That'll be the memory that you have is of her broken body. And I said, I really feel I need to honey. Stick Harriet. You are a nurse. And yes, this is your daughter. But if you want to go you do it.

36:17 Good for he gave me the okay, and I'm very grateful to him. You needed that. Yes.

36:27 Funny things you need a little funny thing we do need for I want to give you a funny thing. Okay, I was out again with another person's I know from the community who was dying of cancer. I did a lot of that and I was it's a ranch house and I sitting on this chair and he's laying on the couch and I'm doing all the admission paperwork they got to do and about that time the family started coming in the door from doing their chores outside. So if it was quite a few people there, I must have moved just wrong and the chair broke humiliated. Why is your face?

37:11 What are fun things and people say funny things to don't they so tell me another story. Let's see.

37:26 What is another good one I think.

37:33 This might be a story that might help other people of my daughter who was seventeen when she was killed. She was a delight and a very very intelligent child. She was the youngest of the four there wasn't a lot of money. We went through sometimes when I started the cows got trick which was a disease where they abort it and we lost a third of our cash crop there was times when the other kids were in school and needed school closed and we didn't have money for buying much and they got the school clothes. She didn't I explained that I didn't have money enough to buy her something new at that time. I look back and think you didn't have something to fight. But anyway, she said that's okay Mom. They made it and very smart their school and then and somewhere about

38:30 Happy birthday Nana about about the time. She was 7th 8th grader and then her first three years in high school that got to be challenges in life. I got to be alcohol involved. I got to be drugs involved. She became a wild child finally said I finally fell and and depression. She also I had she became a cutter I didn't even know about cutting. I didn't know there was such a thing. I was ignorant of drugs alcohol and I understood more we didn't have that at home and it was not something I was familiar with but I thought I've got to get her to treatment before she turns 18 and I have no say twice. She was in neural behavioral the first time she came out and the empress was boyfriend problems. They are the boyfriend was doing something different or not staying just with her and and so I felt like I

39:30 Needed to get her in so she was here and she begged and begged and begged to go home. I took her home after a couple days. The next time we had to go in I wouldn't take her home when she big.

39:42 And so she stayed there longer and she's they were sitting in the hot tub later at home and she said should know.

39:53 It's tight. She said it wasn't anything anybody taught me in their behavioral it was.

40:01 I finally had time to think and she said my brother has finally got his life together. He was in the Marines and doing well in Iraq 4322 but doing well getting his life together and she said I figured it's time I Do by the time she was killed in this car accident. Her life is together. She was a cheerleader people like being around her again. She was doing well in school and then her life ended but thank God it ended on a good note. I would have hated to have had back when she was had so many problems. So there were no regrets right? I mean, there's always regrets, but I don't take and

40:50 Dwell on I mean you always think what could have done better sure, but could have done different shirt. It hurts too much. Yeah, so you don't do that. I don't do that starts with that. I think know how can I learn and what can I do to help and how old would she be now 30

41:10 30 the end of 30 next month

41:13 What was 13 years ago? It never goes away.

41:17 But I think you know if people can learn that, you know, when you've got a child is going through these potential you need to get her to the get the person to the help that they need used to also stand up for friends even during some of her tough times. There was some people that came to Drummond. We're not used to this there either with there were gang. These were girls on gang gang and they threaten to

41:52 Headstone for her. But anyway that what'd you do is you put their head on the sidewalk and stuff from Dollar dead and then they if they give it a kerchief to somebody that person has to join their gang or be beaten up and she said you can't do that take that kerchief back if the fighting Sue's I'll be there the fighting suit in front of the school. I knew it was going to happen. I did not tell the school because she's already been in trouble for different things. Right? Well, she was right in the middle of the fight. She felt really good because she she got a black eye out of it for somebody's ear rings out to but you know what that she ended up being barred from being in cheerleading while and having to be on detention and in everything was so did these people that were in the gang she was able to get those gang members out of our community for no one else could because they ended up in detention they ended up with

42:52 The ankle bracelets and they defied those and they ended up finding out of town, but the adults couldn't do that now. Nobody else I got enough to do it.

43:03 But you're proud of her. I am very proud of her. She said my brother be proud of this Shiner I have

43:14 The rumor has it that you have an annual Ranch party. I did for Teresa and idea to my daughter for the nurse. We did this for over 10 years A lot of people do not understand what goes on a tarantula have not seen a horse or a cow or a goat or chicken up close. So we used to do this we started out with maybe I don't know 8 people one year. We had 60 people we did it from 10 a.m. To 2 p.m. People could come bring the people that we worked with good bring their kids their families, whatever they could ride a horse milk a goat milk a cow got a chicken eggs play with a baby goats will never heard him play with the baby calves then we had a potluck by start a feed them when I got 60 people I can do that. I mean we'd have some stuff but they would be bringing things and it was fun, but also a lot of work week.

44:14 Kohl's last year to not do it again because it became so much work really glad if I'm retired supposedly and I'm not and also my daughter's significant other and it up in a head-on collision in the end of March would have never been able to do it this year. That's all we have quit doing it, but we did it for 10 years and it was a lovely time lovely time to meet with co-workers on a different aspect and let the let the kids got so excited about it. One of them went home and told their parents and Dad and they went to school at

44:55 What's the name of the Catholic school that's here in town? One year. We had a whole busload of 4th grade Valley Christian kids fun. But decided I needed to cut back on some of those dresses in our lives. It sounds like.

45:26 You've known all you've learned throughout your life how to balance things, you know the stresses of work to the stresses of home. But you also have learned how to balance things and end some of the stories you've told her just really been really been neat. Thank you. Thank you. It has been fun and it

45:51 You know, I don't know if there's anything if I could have changed it that I would change in life. I don't like being in debt and now we're into more debt for more. Hay and Equipment the ranch keeps requiring more money someday. That won't be yeah. Yeah, and I will live the happy-ever-after you will. It might be after I pass away. But okay. Thank you so much. I really really appreciate this is just been lovely. Thank you and thank you for asking me to share. It's been wonderful. It's been wonderful.