Bernard Scott Rush and Nicole Rush Free

00:04 My name is Aquaman at free my parents name in the cold or Dean Rush.

00:09 I am 35 years old today is April 18th 2009 and we are in Asheville, North Carolina.

00:18 My name is Bernard Scott Rush.

00:22 And I'm 67 years old.

00:25 I'm here giving the interview with my daughter.

00:29 Nicole Jordan Rush

00:35 Dad thanks for coming riding all this way was fun. I got to do stuff like this more often. But you said your name was Scott and I wanted you to tell a little bit about how you came about that name because naming yourself for carrying a name other than the one that you were born with it something that everybody always asks me. So how did you come upon the name Scott later in life. I Met Your Mother. She didn't like the name.

01:07 Bernard just do it sound to her. She said if I called you Bernie, and she didn't like it and anyway, and then she started calling me Scott and I just went on and change my name to Scott push gas got to my name.

01:30 Okay.

01:31 Well, another thing I wanted to ask you about is when's your birthday March 17th? 1943?

01:43 Because it was I was working in New York and and I were at my birthday was St. Patrick's Day, which is the 17th.

01:52 And and I didn't know till I

01:56 My wife's actually looked at my birth certificate and said it's not six. It's not 18 is 270 Saint Patrick's Day.

02:08 Glad you feel when you found out that the date was wrong.

02:13 But I was really shocks.

02:15 You're going to Ben Drowned that long and didn't really know my birthday. Did your mom tell you that it was the 18th or you just somehow got it when it was on my birth certificate and that's what I thought it was on.

02:30 Well, your mom my grandma Mandy. Where was she from?

02:44 What kind of Life did she have?

02:47 Friendship has raised out in the country.

02:50 She had brothers and sisters and fathers that was little bit ahead of his time. He had gas station store.

03:03 He also had people working for him and he will also cleared land for a living. He would clear 10 acres and get one.

03:14 So by the time he was an older man, he had a great wealth of land at that point.

03:24 Okay. Well the part that I always liked I tell people about this is that he also had a school and segregated, Mississippi and I just wondered if as a child you ever saw the building that they had the school then yeah, I did.

03:41 He had a log cabin school then.

03:44 Black people went to at the time cuz that's what they was allowed to go to school with white. It was just the only black people to go to school and school day at made churches campsite at this pic of school called Log Cabin.

04:00 And he had to school and

04:03 A lot of his grandkids went to the school. The name of the school was Call Log Cabin. Remember when you told me that your father was also from Mississippi, but in a different part of Mississippi than your mother.

04:22 My mother was from the sure what kind of my father would have kept with kindly and that's the same state but a different location.

04:34 And what is it that you get when someone hears you say Kemper County? What kind of image do they have in their mind of that place? What was it like back then to be from Kemper County what Kemper County was kind of a rule rule area and people acting look different from people from Neshoba County.

04:59 They were small connected to the yard.

05:03 Sharecroppers in

05:06 Working on half people in Neshoba County on their own property

05:13 So it was kind of like a separation between your background.

05:19 Yes, it was. So how did the two of them come together?

05:24 What my father stole my mother.

05:27 Add

05:30 At a picnic baseball game. He saw Randy Stoller and

05:40 And then they got married.

05:43 I guess my grandpa Lou Will.

05:47 So what kind of Life did your father have before? He got the gumption to take somebody's daughter?

05:55 Why you worked on the farm in the field picking cotton and pulling corn and

06:02 And doing all this job that white paper and that that's all jobs available.

06:10 Sharecropper

06:13 I'm his mother, you know her name.

06:18 I know his mother name they call her.

06:23 Shoes

06:25 Then they also call her.

06:30 Grandmas liquor

06:33 I never could understand what you really mean by that cuz every time you tell it to me you pause and I'm like, how do you spell slick? And what did it mean?

06:44 It was just a little confusing to me and the way they delayed it to me these things that I know what his mother's name and what his brother's name in.

06:56 That wasn't my father was a lot older than average got so they didn't taper so much.

07:04 Are we with older?

07:07 By the time you were born he was an older man. I retain a lot of what you tell me because as an adult, I found a tradition that existed in Africa where the Cornerstone of this belief system was that you would remember your ancestors and record all their good traits and you would try to pattern your life after the things that they did. So with that in mind. I really wanted to ask you some questions that will allow five generations ahead of us to be able to hear some of the good things about you. So they actually have your voice saying wonderful things when I was young and used to tell me about all the trees that were on the land that you grow up on how your grandfather actually bought those trees and make sure that they got planted so his grandchild

08:07 Would have fruit and vegetables to eat no matter what I thought that's a beautiful story of how you provide for the children that come after you. So can you just bless me by telling me all the trees that grow on your property. I love the story or my mother explained it to her father did he had all kinds of trees. He got from Sears and Roebuck Sears and Roebuck was there was a black guy and you know, the Sears are and they sold trees and they so different type of things. In fact, they was that household Walmart and they sold all these different things or what my grandfather arts and decide they're all the trees and different kind of fruits in different kind of nuts. Not a platinum we had pecan

09:04 I will trees with apple trees with plum trees at peachtrees apricot trees with blackberry blueberry strawberry.

09:16 And we also had something called watermelons. We raised that peanuts.

09:22 Popcorn Ruby raised out popcorn. That's why you don't like to eat while you didn't like to eat popcorn for a long time. You stood while I was a child.

09:36 Even up until the last four or five years like why don't you like popcorn is so good, but you just got tired of it or something those odd fruits that I always asked you. What is this? What is this membrane used to talk about muskmelons?

09:52 Yam, marshmallow.

09:56 We are of cantaloupes all this glue on your property.

10:08 We raised everything we ate we are the one town to buy sugar. Okay. I'm going to ask you about that whole sugar thing cuz I love how you tell me that the mule we go around the circle and press it out makes tell about that. And then also, please tell me about when you say we who are you meaning?

10:32 All my brothers and sisters name my older brother is named Monroe Rush.

10:38 My older sister named Ines

10:41 Rush Marie Rush

10:45 John Lee Rush Will Jim Rush have to be Rush.

10:52 Call Rush.

10:55 Lois Rush survey Rush Dave Rush

11:02 Bernard which is me Rush Mac Rush

11:06 Curtis Rush, Eugene Rush

11:12 There's all my brothers and sisters and then your Mom and Daddy's names Willie Rush tradition that I'm in the lukumi tradition is Faith is one that you just straight-up love on your family your ancestors those who were before you you honor them. You try to live as close to the right way that you saw of them. And unfortunately, I didn't get to really know them, but I know them through the stories that you told and I really appreciate the fact that you shared it.

11:56 I want to hear the song. I'm story about how you made the Molasses One Call sargam.

12:10 And necessary sugarcane that you raise and you go take it to the mill and have a grind up and make the juice make the juice and uterine cooked juice at the meal. Can you mix Saavn app so I can assert that you can use soldering for two or three different things you can use it to cure meat with and you can eat it to eat with biscuits and butter. Now the other Supreme aide was blue cancer and that never wet. Then you cook that and you leave sugar biscuits, by the way, it was better than greater than Saga.

12:51 And that way you would put music to this meal and pull around and around and you would grind up to juice.

13:01 And dry it out or something or you would still stay sticky and dry it out and put in a barrel and then it will cook it. Okay.

13:12 So, you know you ever seen me with that stuff. I called nutritional yeast. It's like sometimes I put it in my food or popcorn actually use it in Great quantity. You know that stuff is kind of like yellow and you might not know I gave some to Mom sometimes and but it grows on sugarcane. It's actually a yeast that grows on the sugarcane plant itself and people don't realize this but when I cook my vegan food and prepare for the family or take it for catering and stuff I give thanks to the Legacy that I am a daughter of a field negro.

13:50 Because that nutritional yeast that's a Cornerstone in the diet of people that are vegetarian. It comes off of sugarcane plants. I eat 2 tablespoons of blackstrap molasses every morning because of the fact that this is what connects me to who I am. You don't know that but I just want you to know that

14:13 I feel you come from and I appreciate the fact that you shared it. You may not have thought that it was valid, but it is my legacy and it is extremely important. So, thank you.

14:27 Okay, let me see. I have a couple more questions to ask you. Okay. Remember when you told me a long time ago that the y'all used to be in the field picking cotton?

14:42 And you would tell me how many bales of cotton she would pay. I don't have a concept of what that actually means. What is the what how big is a bale of cotton?

14:54 Yeah, I remember telling you what it was a bail of cotton is 1200 lb and that's the average bale of cotton.

15:01 Annabelle cotton is weighed by before you go to the cotton gin belly. You will wear and get 1200 pounds and then you make that into a bell how much could you actually pick in a day or I was I was very good cotton picker. I could pick three hundred pounds a day and I was unusual dintiman people pick three hundred pounds a day. That's so much cotton because we're talking about a bale of a piece of cotton is so light that because my father told me if I

15:38 Don't like doing something it would be hard and to get the key on it then make it easy don't mind doing it. So that's why I decided to do and back pic 300 down. What was the benefit for you to pick that much? Did you get to keep any of the money or the money? We had a farm out of seven. We were just because you got to pick until you just work cuz you got to work but I mean what benefit was it? Did somebody prays you that you just pick three hundred but none of my brothers would do that. Okay.

16:14 It's inconceivable to me for somebody to work from before day until after the sun goes down and the family received very little to anything at the end. One of the most frustrating things that you ever told me about what you think about all the time and it just burns me up is the story about the loaded p.

16:36 Yeah, we're not at the lot of people was something that when you working as a sharecropper and rude if we worked on have some time due to get

16:47 Money to buy school clothes with you have to work on the farm at plus you do your own color bait in their plant and then you pick your own cotton. Then you go out and do extra to make extra money lot of people at when you work for somebody else and they do it.

17:06 Put lead into the p a p s something that bounce the scale if you add something to the Pea that would make whatever weight you win less.

17:20 Okay, so it's like if I put

17:23 300 lb of cotton a true 300 lb bag of cotton on the scale, it'll come out looking like it's only 250. You can look the look like that because it wouldn't be the same color to ballast from it will be different. Why would somebody want to do that for you? Your day was paying you $0.50 a hundred. They will pay you less. Not only are you only working to receive half

17:51 For what you earn because you're on somebody else's land in the deal to even work. The land is 50/50. But then once they come out to weigh how much you have at the end of the day or week or month or whatever. They're coming off by cheating you from a loaded p.

18:09 Y'all knew this. Well, I do it because I was able to wait a cotton black people couldn't don't know how to weigh cotton and out having BB your person to waken cuz I was younger and and I would know that the scale was wrong, but I couldn't tell nobody.

18:31 I have nobody to tell but they was.

18:35 Balancing scales out SS. Who's that? Who did this well,

18:42 The guy who owned the farm white guy.

18:48 So you got I couldn't talk with them. You couldn't tell a white person. He's doing something wrong when you told me how they would take the cotton in Flight up in that shoot to remove the seeds at the mail and Jen. So how did they teach you in that process the lot of time they would say you got less season you have you would you would Jennica and then you have seized the cells and then it never let your money be less because of the way they have to wait at 2. So you looking for your seeds at the end cuz you feed that to your cows and thanks for your food and they suck the cotton up into a shoot in the gym.

19:32 Kind of flying around all in the air. They got a filter up there and it keep in that part then they take your seeds and shoot them off into a separate section and it giving you less than what you really came in their way and they've already robbed you in the field wearing it out wrong. Now, here's the part that it's just too much. Remember when you told me how the situation is if you carry your cotton to Biloxi or to the gulf to sell to the people who manufactured the cloth

20:08 Tell how

20:10 They get you on that end as well.

20:13 Web you today, they charge you so much for delivering the cotton to the ships and all that. If you taking it, except you get a different price.

20:24 You mean like you get more money if you care to down there, so but you don't remember when you told me how they were busted open and test it and pull a big hunk out or keep that to a piece out the way it and test it cut your Bell open cut the Bell / book they call a sample. So now you got a busted sack kind of running all over the ground and they keeping that to not showing it back in there. So it's a triple.

20:58 Screw you over. Really? Yes. I'm not French but really it's bad. You know, I don't know what happened to make you want to leave there.

21:08 What happened?

21:11 Well at the time in 1963.

21:17 They was chasing black people away from Mississippi.

21:22 And my dad experienced something there that

21:27 We have to leave it was catching black man's and

21:32 Election Ehrman Freedom Ron and I was just blessed that I never was treated wrong.

21:43 But I knew that I had to leave there and I left, Mississippi and 1963.

21:50 And

21:54 When I left there, I didn't know where I was going to go. I didn't know nothing about nothing else. I went to New York City.

22:02 Because of Uncle John Brotherton in New York the name of John Rush one of my brother and he had told me that

22:12 There's a Big Mac make a better life for men, Giuseppe, New York.

22:16 If it wasn't for my uncle John would not be on the planet because it was he that groomed you for the life. You would begin to live up until this point even though he's no longer here and he's gone on but I know that he would look at you and say you're doing exactly what I told you you could do.

22:43 Everytime I see you sitting on the golf course in your rocking chair looking out on the lake adjacent to your beautiful home. I think about the fact that that is what Uncle John was trying to get you to see that you could accomplish and

23:02 So to him, we really owe everything cuz that was your only place of Refuge in the whole world outside of Mississippi. Where else would you have gone?

23:13 What was it? Like when you got to New York and you had never seen how you told me? You saw the New York at the fire in Mississippi as a kid. I look I would look into the find see all the bright burning fine Sparkles and stuff. And I imagine that that's what New York was looking like but and then i a t i got opportunity to go and visit my brother in New York and when I got that was 1963.

23:41 And I experienced something. I'm looking at a big city and looking the expect to get some different and I didn't get anything any different. It was just a different way of life.

23:53 That time, dr. King was going to march in Washington DC.

24:01 And I had an opportunity to go there with them.

24:05 I didn't know where I was going to Washington DC.

24:09 I didn't know what watching DC was going to be like but they say I got a free trip and they had food that was giving away and be giving away fried chicken and I was in Harlem and we load up on 125th Street.

24:26 The school bus and we all went to Washington DC.

24:30 And when you got out it was Martin Luther King Martin Luther King.

24:36 This is the famous March on Washington drivers band March on Washington and I didn't really know why we was going to Washington scared to death scared to tell my brother. I've been in Washington DC but that I'm with the air, Doctor, Kingsport.

24:52 And I really enjoyed it.

24:56 I think that's why it's so awesome that you're wearing this Barack Obama had with the presidential seal that I bought you because you seen it all there are very few people that I can honestly say that they have seen segregated Mississippi. I mean literally didn't the swamp that they found Emmett Till in the spring that said that swamp was on your family's property.

25:26 Yeah.

25:28 The swamp that he was burying her help for us found in place called I'll creep I'll Cricket is place and right near the Indian Reservation dropped on Indian reservation, and they have what's up and called the maze in the net tickle swamp you could get away from the white meat people were scared to come and try to do anything to you cuz you want you to go into the swamp you go into the Maze and they would been frightened by the end and years ago. Did they wouldn't go nowhere near there?

26:08 So now you can pick my wife there's it is the same thing is out maze you can't see anything into it.

26:18 Well

26:20 It's interesting because you scan see movies about Emmett Till today and I think about the fact that he's around the same age as you were when all that happened little younger, right? Yeah, but even still I mean I see that time and I'm like, you know, you aren't the easiest person to get over on if somebody really tried to, you know, come on six foot four.

26:45 Strong I guess you were real real Slim back then but still strong had nine brothers eight brothers plus you and I just can't even imagine somebody trying to come up on you and mess with you. So yeah, you needed to get out of Mississippi, you know, and when you got to New York and I hear you tell about how you met mom.

27:09 And everything I know that it was divine that she really is the one that was supposed to be with you for life and that it's 40 years that y'all would have been married this year. I mean, is it going to be in the right place at the right time I guess right. I Met Your Mother 40 years ago and we was in Brooklyn Flatbush never been married before the year. So well, I met her before a little longer than that, but we've been together over a year, but it was 41 years cuz I met her before the year.

27:46 And wait with Bev, and I had a good life. Thank the Lord that we had a good life and I was blessed and I have no hang up on after I left, Mississippi.

28:00 I was blessed by the Lord.

28:04 And I also have to give all these people that did anything wrong to me and I forgave him and because I don't want to keep nothing holding his nobody because I do believe that.

28:18 Not living your brother will make your life shorter. It is not good for you.

28:24 So I got back to the Givens, but everybody was treated me wrong.

28:33 I met a walking down Bushwick in Brooklyn.

28:42 But while I met her and she went

28:45 What does social club and I went there and met her and

28:51 An actor

28:54 Vaginal can I come to the house? And she said no.

28:58 But then I call it back and see you.

29:01 Movies we got together eventually

29:05 She had her own place and I have my own place.

29:10 Shiism

29:13 Somebody that I think is the most influential person other than Uncle John in your life because you told me one day that when you were walking in your early days in New York just got in there and these guys saw you soon as you can.

29:34 Is he taking you a long way from there? Because I ain't seen you in high-water pants and White Sox ever. What happened to me? I was up on 145th Street. I got off the 8th Avenue train and I was coming down the hall and to go home and these people are summertime and it would sitting out on the stoop.

29:59 And I had a White Sox can't pull up to my waist.

30:06 And in these people these black people do and I thought black people really shouldn't be treating me wrong. All the trouble is having a Mississippi. They shouldn't shouldn't be treating me wrong. So they say oh look at that country Niger wearing these White Sox. Let's get it.

30:27 And I and I and I remember that and I ran so fast.

30:32 Bank of America in my life. I was too scared to look back cuz I figured we couldn't my time. I'm telling you the Antics I think like you know.

30:44 I don't think I have stories as good as yours. Bum. Let me see your hand. What is it your right hand on your left hand. That's what I'm looking at at the way that our hands look so much alike. Have you ever noticed how hands look alike? That's like nobody's pinky in the whole world was picking my right pinky got a story.

31:13 Is it your right or your left or right?

31:17 Okay. Okay. The story is my brother Mac and I was out in The Wood Yard cutting wood and we had nothing to do with just play with a x i hate. I was telling you I bet you can't cut my hand. I was moved my hand fast like that and I was slow-moving it and he cut my little pinky finger off.

31:40 And

31:42 When you cut it off we went in the hospital my mother. I told my mother my brother kept Mac cut my finger off.

31:50 And this chalk tale was visiting my mother she got some suck so it should set us out of the Hearth fireplace black duck sauce and sugar mixed it up and put my finger back on.

32:13 And my fingers would would have been straight if I had known when it started here back together and start itching and I loosen the thread on the popsicle stick and then I made it wouldn't straighten out button right now. I can still work on fan, but I took my friend in the house in my left hand so that my brother and his Choctaw lady.

32:40 Donna Cook

32:42 Did this is put my pants back on?

32:46 I don't know whether or not people can do that nowadays, but that's me strong Choctaw medicine. Matter of fact, there's one word that you always used to say to Western ways to get on your nerves. Me and Barry We Were Young get out your face cuz we will plan too hard and we will be in too loud.

33:05 And we have a dog named that now.

33:09 I did work was Russia.

33:12 OSHA o p h i mean dog opening get out. Get out of here who shot with me and me get away from your door. That's your Choctaw.

33:26 Oh, by the way, I was really raised up with partner Chuck Todd people on the reservation. So I have a lot of the Choctaw words and truck toll ways how we did things together.

33:40 When I asked you about anybody just anybody's you know, how important it is for me to have the link to Africa and I asked you and asked you to do anybody remember anything about Africa was there anybody who is still remembers what it was like?

33:55 It wasn't until last year that you actually were able to remember or chose to share with me about.

34:03 The man that used to sit on the porch that your dad told you about and see a man uses come and sit on our porch. His name is Uncle Neil Mac.

34:13 And he was saying African song, but most people call me real crazy guys talk like he's African member how your dad used to say. He was saying my mother like that. She don't want to kiss be listened to that African sounding loving it. My father used to tell us about it my mother in like it. I think that's priceless. I'm going to ask my auntie's when I see them next time if they remember that because sometimes I think you might be just you ain't never tell me that until last year. So did it really really sound like that weather and sound like my mother say what in English you couldn't understand? What was she don't want to listen to it. I only have a few more minutes to ask you a couple questions. So I'm just going to ask you.

35:13 Tell me just straight-up what you can remember. What is a potato Bank potato bank. Is there something called?

35:24 That you make out of corn stalks and you make out of hating you wrap it up and you save your potatoes to the next year. The Harvest is like a place that we're getting heading and that's on the ground you bury the potato and then it becomes spring check the potatoes out of the ground and you put them in a bed and then they sprout to make potato vines. What was the reason they came up with calling you poem

35:56 How old were you when I came about when my older brother call me call me cuz I don't know. You just didn't know about it. He knew about Al Capone. So you thought that I was kind of tough guy but one time.

36:10 Okay. Okay. God facing them. All right and let me think of something else bam. Boom bam boom beach and strong what you used to say that to me and beat on my back when I was little what does that mean? Cuz I would laugh my head off. What is bamboo Bamboo features draw it where you been? When will beat your scroll? How many hands is your whole lot? You really was teaching kids how to count really bad mood, 3555 * 10 * 7 * 7 is forty-nine drop down baby. You must be mine.

36:54 So, I mean it's like all these things are programmed in our Collective family memory forever. What's a tea cake flour and water and it may and we cooked flour cakes cookies years ago when the slaves cook for themselves, they didn't read aloud to go to home for dinner and stop working for dinner. It would take the whole whole day with you cut things with and they put in 5 getting hot in cooked bread on the whole they work with

37:35 Why is it important to eat oatmeal in the morning?

37:39 Why is working today? They said I would like the oak at Oak me when I was in New York for my breakfast for a long time but not as his good for cholesterol for a day. I've been either way before the I realize it so you ahead of the game on that because there's certain things that we eat around the house and stuff, you know, mom makes rutabagas and stuff. But that's something that she got nothing from her side and everything. But you know, I can remember used to make pancakes for us and I think you made the batter too thick and turn the heat up to our cuz if you fat and black and you need a little help with your pancakes, but it's okay. I still appreciate the fact that you would wake up early in the morning in the Summers and take me out of play tennis so that I hit the ball and you know, just all okay. I got one for you. My earliest memory in life is you taping up that Cracker Jack box for me.

38:37 To turn it into a little violin when I was 2 years old taking me to Harlem School of the Arts. And so that I could have my violin lessons that hold a little dowel rod and play with it and you would then you have one too. Well, did they think they both of us a Cracker Jack box and I learn how to play violin and I didn't get no phone in the Cracker Jack you went on to become very successful violin player, but I thank you for that because I can certainly remembers when it was time to bust a Cracker Jack box open and that stuff all the time, but we ate the prize and we went on to travel a lot and go to a lot of Island concerts and I would see everybody in those audiences and will be pure white. But as I was sitting first chair and making all them jealous, the little black girl was tearing it up. I would look out in the audience and I will see y'all in

39:34 So I appreciate that and I was just soaking it all up. Yeah it cuz your girl was the bomb doing it. I really asked everything. I wanted to ask you if there's anything you want to say.

39:47 Well, I just want to thank you for

39:52 I want to thank you for just being willing to listen what my life is all about her.

40:02 And I want to thank you for being such a good daughter. Thank you.

40:08 You're the bomb. You're awesome. Don't ever change. We drove how many hours to get here just to come here and put this down so that already and Pascal and go Z and all the children that are going to come from them and I'll cousins and anybody who ever wants to go to Smithsonian or to the Library of Congress have an opportunity to listen to

40:35 What we're all about.

40:38 And why we love each other. So I love you. I appreciate you.

40:45 I thank you.

40:47 And I love you, too.

40:51 Can I can I ask you a quick question? Could you describe just to give a visual picture? What what was your house like growing up? What was a typical day with all your siblings like?

41:04 Everybody got to get up and milk cows.

41:07 Bristol you got up when you wash your face in a wash pan.

41:13 Everybody use the same order.

41:15 And we got to wash our face then we went to the barn to milk cows. I can remember remember making everybody had three kind of doing it.

41:26 And the coward you like a gallon of milk.

41:30 And after you do that you come home and eat your biscuits in and then you'll go to the field and you will work in the field to 12 today time.

41:41 And then after then you go back and you work until 4, and then you go back and milk the cows again.

41:48 It was just did everybody have chosen. Do we lived on the phone?

41:54 Work work work and then my father that the told me that if you don't mind doing that Nick is not so hard on you. So it was just left my work.

42:07 I think that's one of the one of the reason why I was successful in life cuz I didn't mind working.

42:14 I really like brother Pizza.

42:17 Damn, you know your life is so different today you wake up you get in your jacuzzi.

42:23 Savannah Golf Course drinking mint juleps video rocking chair and it's so far away from where you come. Do you have traveled the distance of what some people take four and five generations to climb out of their Circle in one generation, you've worked hard and you set the tone for everybody after you and all I want to do is be able to build on all that you've been able to accomplish and I really don't want to say that the Lord has really blessed me and you know what? I don't think I would really want to trade my life because we'll do the hardship. I had was a lesson to me.

43:05 And I have a lot different now.