Marylyn Weeks and Joan Mattelin

00:02 Joan mattelin 25 August 10th 2005, Missoula Montana, and I'm interviewing my grandmother Marilyn weeks.

00:13 Marylyn, Mary Lou weeks 69 years old. Today's date is August 10th 2005. We're in Missoula Montana, and I'm Jones grandmother.

00:25 Tell Grandma where did you grow up? I grew up in a small town in North Dakota Berthold North Dakota my mother and dad had both been born and raised. In fact, my mother Gail Van Buskirk lived there her entire life was born there live there and died there.

00:45 And what were your parents will names dad's name was Leonard Lawrence Van Buskirk and Mom's name was Gail Lucille Brown Van Buskirk. Did you get along with your parents? Oh, yes. I did. They were strict with me with with we to three older kids, but they were good to us to did you ever get in trouble when you were growing up. The thing that comes to mind is my dad smoked my mother did not and back in those days. Most men did smoke and most women didn't unless they were what we would call loose women and we were not to smoke and it was a terrible thing and I can remember

01:34 Finding a pack of cigarettes and the matches and and try yet. I'm buying a girlfriend and nobody ever noticed the missing cigarettes, but my mother noticed the missing matches.

01:47 So when we were punished it was with the razor strap. So I remember that I also remember my parents couldn't swim and so they were hardly anyone in North Dakota could swim cuz they're worth in the water around they were both deathly afraid of the water. And that was another thing we were to stay away from the water and I remember my mother being gone for the day in the last thing she was telling us was to stay away from the sloughs which are large bodies of water that form in the spring or from the snow melt. And so of course as soon as she left we went down and got on a raft that somebody had built and played around on that all day and went to Sweden get off early enough cuz when she came home she went by the slough and

02:34 There was a razor strap again.

02:37 So what are you describe yourself? How would you describe yourself as a child?

02:43 Did you study a lot where y'all was CSI was a I was a good student my parents that was important to them what the teacher told them. They believed not necessarily as it seems to be these days and I was a good student and I did what I was supposed to do.

03:04 I enjoyed school. Did you have any favorite relatives when you were growing up Continentals ernsting? Probably my my dad only had the one brother that always still alive when I was growing up and we didn't see much of them. I think maybe he and my dad had a misunderstanding or that anyway, we didn't see much of them until

03:29 Later on in life. And but my favorite was probably my mother's younger sister on Francis who lived back east as we used to say when you either went out west or back east and she lived in Ohio and she and my Uncle Tony would come out and visit occasionally and she was so pretty and such a sweet lady in Uncle Tony was a true Italian which was kind of unusual in our Norwegian German Town. They were fun and enjoyed them a lot, but they have both died down the Last 5 Years. So do you have any stories that your family used to tell all the time?

04:10 You know, that was something I don't really know why but my my dad especially never talked much about his his family. His mother had died when he was quite young six or seven years old, I think and he it had kind of a rough childhood falling off a horse or horse had fallen on him and through many years and many surgeries. He eventually lost one of his legs and so and then his dad but I don't know his dad went out to California when he was still young and Mike and left my dad there. He had them dad had a brother twin brother and sister who both died tragically young so he didn't have anybody left by the time he got married, so

04:58 What's up, a sad subject for him. I think it he and we didn't I guess we didn't ask so.

05:06 What did you think that your life would be like when you were older when you were growing up?

05:14 Oh, that's a tough one.

05:18 I don't know I suppose I thought like every girl did that I would get married and have a family. Everybody graduated from high school and which I did Corson and someone on the school and I started in there went on to college I started and then stopped and went to work for the newspaper in the Minot and met your dad or met met your grandfather and we some got married and I suppose that's what I thought. My life would be like I I guess I wouldn't change anything so

05:55 How did you meet Grandpa?

06:00 I went to work in the town of assist everybody's and went to work for a couple hours after school in the evenings and I got paid $0.25 an hour for this and I was a telephone operator and then sometimes I would work till 10 when the office closed and in those days you could listen in on the telephone conversations and Grandpa Earl had a girlfriend that looked up the roadways and when he would call I would listen but I never had met him but I knew who he was.

06:42 And he went into the service and I still know we hadn't met each other, but when he came home.

06:48 We did it in the I guess the truth were known when he was my dad had a bar at that time and he was a Sunday afternoon and he was looking for some beer. So he came to our house thinking my dad would get him some beer which was against law and my dad didn't but I ended up riding around with Aven.

07:08 So we didn't get Evie everybody got a wife.

07:11 So that was your first day with Grandpa. I guess it was. Yeah, if you could call that a day and then did he ask you out after that. I asked you to do tell him that you had been listening to this conversation. I think after we were married, I guess he thought it was all right. He seemed happy with the deal. So

07:40 Do you add you how you kind of falling for him? Just spell yes. He was very handsome. Very nice young man. And I knew I was smitten with him as they would say before I ever actually introduced myself or I or we visited or talk to also.

07:58 But he seemed to think that was all right, so

08:04 So what kind of days did you guys go on?

08:08 By the time we started dating each other he was working. He'd been in the Army and was a cook in the Army. And so when he got out of the service, they were building the Big Dam at Riverdale Garrison Dam at Riverdale North Dakota, and he went to work down there working as a cook can their employee dining rooms, and that was how I suppose 85 miles from Culbertson tour from Perth old, but he would drive up on the weekends, and we would usually go to a movie. That was really what we did have something to eat and go back to you take me back when he would go back to Riverdale.

08:51 How long did you guys date before you got married or before you got engaged or got engaged think we started going together? Early March or April got engaged on Armistice Day.

09:06 In November and got married in December and the eye by then. He was had moved to Montana. So then it was a longer to do you remember meeting and meeting your family and you meeting Grandma at 11?

09:23 And what I say? Yeah, I think so. I suppose I was born nervous about him meeting my folks, you know, you always think well or what's he going to think you know, and he was that was fine. He made me like him of course and he was he was very very good with them and I grab ass hole and got Billy were just more than welcoming to me and that I always felt at home. Everybody got along I think so. Yeah, I did it. They did we did forwarding it lawful in law stories. You know, I know the Only Rule we ever had a heat was Grumpier Old suggestion and he said when we were visiting my folks because we would go down on the weekend and spend maybe Saturday night in North Dakota and visit both sides of the family and then come back on on Sunday nights. We weren't there very long. So he said whenever were visiting my family all say well it's time to go.

10:23 And when we were visiting your family, you'll say it's time to go home so they couldn't be mad at the other one. Then that's a good rule. How did you know that you wanted to marry him? Because he was all I could think about what else kind of talked about. I mean kind of talk to round at you know, and then he I had seemed like I had went out to the farm going out to the varmints and spent the night and the next morning that he was taking me into might have to go to work and he had had my rings so I don't know that he actually said will you marry me but I hate that I can't remember that. Anyway, it was a blur.

11:14 What what do you particularly remember about Grandpa?

11:20 Does he like? Oh

11:25 I I I don't think there was very many people. I didn't like him. He was he was a very kind and very appreciative of older people. He was so good to his grandmother Addie when we go to mine at that was the first place we would go would be to see Grandma.

11:45 He was just nice and thoughtful he after he died. I found a lot of things he had done for people that I didn't know about. Nobody else knew about either. He just did those kind of things him. So yeah, I got the best part of that deal.

12:06 Did you have any special talents to be a we could tell a good story? He could make people laugh.

12:16 You know, I didn't we danced a lot he like that. So I said he couldn't sing but he could we would sing in the car. He could sing.

12:28 You can play musical instrument you like to ride horse.

12:35 That's how did he make you laugh what it didn't make me laugh at me steak.

12:41 I suppose he had any I just a wealth of stories about the Old Farm neighbors and things they had.

12:47 Did they had done and jokes and things I had played on each other, you know, he would talk about the time. We would agree that the Halloweens weren't like they used to be because in the old days they would take a take a buggy apart put up on the top of the barn roof and then put it back together again farmer get up the next morning and here's his buggy on the real things like that. He after we were married some years. We had some some land north of town and he would he had some cause up there and one of his friends one of his younger friends that had a couple milk I was up there and so he was going up there and milking every morning Darby was and so the guy started going up an hour early earlier in milking the cow for a standard RV would come along and there be no milk if he couldn't figure that out what was going on.

13:40 That was the weird sense of humor, I guess.

13:44 Put rear your kids like growing up.

13:49 They were wonderful children. They were they were good kids. They were I mean, we both didn't neither one of us wanted spoiled children and out. We were maybe sometimes a little bit too strict. I don't know I have to ask them I guess but they did what they were, you know, what they were expected to do and they fought with each other like brothers and sisters do your mother was course the second one and she was she was probably a little more outgoing not as shy as Penny the older one penny was would hang back and let Lori make the first move and what it was going to Sunday school for the first timer that type of thing, but but and I'm now I'm for sale with live near each other and that's one of my greatest Joys is to see that and see how well they get along.

14:48 They are each other's best friends.

14:50 What about Mark and Mike? Well that Mike was 45 years younger. So it was a look out there and he was the first boy. So, of course the girls said he was spoiled.

15:05 But they all had to mind and

15:10 But they they were and then there was five years difference between Mark and Mike too. So they they didn't get along so well either but now they I can truthfully say now that they're probably each other's best friends, even though we don't live near each other back to home button for the time Mark was born. I was working full-time. So your mom was kind of a chief cook and bottle washer at the house and she probably enjoy will I think that's where she learned her and she did a good job and she and Penny had after-school jobs to when they were to the grocery store and at the drugstore in

15:52 You know, it was just your typical. I think you're raising kids everybody in the neighborhood had kids and they went out and played all day and it was fun and didn't even grab a real hung out with the helmer's quite a bit. What kind of things did you guys do when you were well, we we've had friends were friends with Elmer's in with the Baldwins and we all just happened. We all had four children. So we just joking say we were going somewhere we should be careful because something happened we would leave 12 children without any parents. We would probably go to a dance most often a movie once in a while if it was something that we

16:35 We wanted to see the men all belong to the Masonic Lodge. So they did that and the women were Eastern Star members. So sometimes that we are involved in socially and some of those things.

16:50 You know later on Grandpa was involved in the Saddle Club. So the Wagon Train was a big thing and I went on that a few times, but that was not my favorite thing to do.

17:03 But I guess that's we would go take a picnic in the summer and go to Brush Lake once once it's over which was 45 miles away in the deep deep lake and by then I had to learn to swim not very well, but I had learned to swim but but grandpa will never did learn to swim and that was just awful day for him to go up there and watch those kids on the beach to know something happened. There was nothing he could do he whether we are but he hated it.

17:31 But that was something else we did.

17:34 What did you and Grandpa both like Uncle Bob and my dad when you met them, what did you guys do for us? We thought they were great catches, you know, Bob we kind of had known through the helmer's and and and then of course started dating and before long then I began to hear rumors about was being here and there and your dad and

18:02 I told Grandpa there there's they're serious because your mother roses for something and when she was in her training, I need Santa Rosa.

18:14 2 course they did since we left town. I got married without leaving town, but that was all right, and I will find you guys weren't mad. No. No. No I leave for 1 wedding. That was enough. Do you have any particularly favorite memories of your grandchildren or what made outside of you biting Luke well,

18:44 I can remember as I sit here looking at you. I remember going to one of your first band festivals or you were playing the trombone. I was so angry at your band director because she hadn't even taught you how to hold trombone. Remember that you held it on the wrong shoulder style play when she can't even hold the horn correctly.

19:09 I just remember you were always you know, we were always all together whether it was a Sunday after church or what and if it was first just you and Lulu car. Then there was David and James and John and you know, they just it was fun and that live course that's been one of my great choices thing grandkids always right there in front of me and

19:34 The girls were good about sharing things.

19:38 I don't know you all did the typical. I can't remember anybody having a broken bone. Do I didn't did James Davis? Here's your 4-H showing and stuff that kind of thing. I remember you showing your pigs in your beef.

19:57 What what are you proud of stuff in your life?

20:02 Why I told you so ugly and all that sounds silly. But you say your family in that and I guess it is, you know, I did not I did not proud because I had to do it. I'm just proud of each of them all done well, and they're in they're good people. I think I've tried to make little difference in line. My town. And I think I a lot of other people have made a difference.

20:32 For the better, I hope

20:34 What was what can you think of is your happiest moment in your life?

20:45 Well, you know the kind of all there's so many of course was happy when I graduated high school. I was happy when I got married very happy but it was kind of a blur of Kathy one penny was born and then chords each one is different L'Oreal at was she just was a happy-go-lucky girl from the beginning and like was the first boy and Mark with the last boy

21:15 I do a happy when you grow when you kids graduated and it whenever you accomplish something you just share it with them and I mean kind of just feel good about it. So happy when you graduate from high school and college University. What's the saddest thing for you and your life?

21:36 Well, I have course losing ground Patrol when he was so young and that's kind of what I have always felt bad that he wasn't here at to see you kids grow up and that you didn't get to know him because

21:59 Now you miss two a lot.

22:05 What are the what's the name of the most important lesson that you will learn to Joni?

22:14 I guess just keep trying to keep moving ahead and know that eventually you have to say I can't do anymore and let God.

22:25 Do your thing?

22:32 What traditions do you think have been passed down in our family?

22:38 Well, you know a lot of a lot of them your mother and Penny probably started.

22:46 We do we do the Christmas Eve thing where we're at our house soon and what we've done lots of things at Christmas Eve or the year. Do you know whether it's the history about mr. Right and mr. Laughter, whatever. Mr. Right and whatever that silly game is we play

23:05 Oh you to help me out. What do I do? We've had a Fourth of July picnic at my house for years and years.

23:16 Birthday is going to remember my birthday celebrate over having a birthday. Month. We do Easter we used to do we hide Easter eggs Baskets at my house.

23:28 I don't know coffee after church on Sundays.

23:34 What?

23:36 How has Church in that sort of thing played a role in your life for?

23:44 Well, it's just always been part of it.

23:48 Do you go to church when you were little haha. We went to the Congregational Church on Mom and Dad and the kids. We didn't want Dad didn't go very often. But in his later years, he joined the Congregational Church and

24:04 By then mom had moved on to something else. I can't remember but we were all happy that Ted had joined the church when we came to call Burton. There wasn't any Congressman church. So Methodist was the next thing and that we did that right away and and your Grandpa are all his family had been Methodist to wear Methodist. So that was an easy fit and the kids all went to Sunday school. I taught your mother taught Penny taught you taught everybody teaches Sunday school Bible school and bible study and the women of the church and the course in a small church. Just the family. That is the church is important. And of course overall is the fact that it's not your church. It's God's truth. That's why you're there.

24:56 Bell High

24:59 We've had lots of or not lots but we've had serious illnesses and things and I don't we all

25:06 Would not have been able to get through those without our faith in God, so.

25:15 We talked about a little bit about your when you were growing up. Did you get along with your siblings when you were little you had that 5 siblings? I have four sisters and brother and we were the three of us born kind of goes together. And then there was like 20 years without any and then there were I should say 15 years. My next girl was born when I was a junior in high school. So I really was gone by the time she was surround home and then there were two more born after that. So it's like two different families and the folks is Circumstances had changed by the time the second family came along different era. They were raised differently for entirely different the to group size.

26:08 We have gotten along pretty well with my mother died that kind of changed.

26:15 So

26:20 Not great, babe, the two older ones and I we see I mean we're close. We're all three girls and we are closed and will remain that way.

26:35 Keep working. Keep talking to God about it.

26:39 What can you text me about what it was like when you were growing up what your house was like and

26:51 It was not great.

26:54 It was the thirties and forties or early forties and it wasn't just us. There wasn't a lot of money in North Dakota about then. My dad was always had some lamb but he tried to farm and he did Farm but he always had seemed like had to do a something else kind of like today farmer lot of them have to supplement their income. So we had female cows and we'd had a milk route that we would take around in town and

27:24 Then when the

27:27 Well you asked about when we lived with it was actually was the same house my my mother had grown up in and I don't think they've been a lot done to it since she'd grown up in it. So it was pretty bad shape in the winter time. We would shut off the kitchen and not eat that room and move a little 4 burner stove into the living room or whatever. You want to call it cooking their weight of oil burner in the middle of that room, and that was our heat for the house.

27:57 But we always whenever we were never hungry, we'll always had something to eat. And I mean that was and I really I knew we wouldn't have a lot but I never felt like the poorest kids in town or anything. That was never and we all we worked hard and my dad always, you know, I always said your name is your most important thing.

28:19 You don't want to muddy that because once it's gone, you don't get that back. So if you say you're going to do something do it and and people trusted him and and so that was good and no.

28:35 In the after the war started as I said, my dad only had one leg so he wasn't eligible to go to service. And so he and Uncle of mine went out to Washington and they worked in the shipyards in Seattle area.

28:51 And then they left in the fall and my sister Arlene had just been born in August. So they mom was home with two little girls 6 and 5 in a little baby and our town had no doctor I guess everything went. All right. I mean we all survived but I just think how could she sleep at night, you know, but he then in the spring he came back and we all packed up and went out to drive out to Washington in a model a car if you can imagine.

29:25 And I remember coming over the hill at the state line and seeing more Hills and I've say Ah, that's the mountains. I don't want to I'll get out and walk here and we had they had built up a bench across the back of the so the back seat was level and that's where we stay in the motel. We slept in the car and that goes above just curled up in the front seat.

29:52 And I don't know how long it took us to get there but a long time but anyway, we got back got to Washington. And of course Dad headed to have the job. So we were out there for about a year-and-a-half and that was you know, they're making good way just to push during the war and I went we went to school out there for that year and it was that was a good year and live in a fairly nice house and then we can head to the side so money and we came back and he bought a bar in Berthold and that's what he did then until he retired you own the bar and Grandma Gail was very

30:28 Religious was she okay with him owning a bar that you know that a lot of that religion came as she got got stronger as she got older. I don't think it was her favorite choice, but she actually worked for in the bar to sound when he was farming in the spring in the fall. She would go up and open the barn work. So you kids were little you didn't work in the bar. We would win sometimes on Sunday night to clean, you know, I'll be there when do around sweep around and I remember when we lived in the back of the bar just because it was.

31:07 So there was a Superstition down there and I'm bored. You couldn't I mean I know that would be illegal now. I don't know that anybody ask but it was different than people were different but I never heard anybody swearing or anything and I mean it wasn't lying there listening but it wasn't like it would be now. I don't think and what were their grandma gives parents had they already died when my Grandpa died. I can just barely remember slim Brown was his name and I think he died like in a nursing home in my take Ben. You know, I think he was old but I really couldn't tell you that we're looking at the records I could but and my mom's mother Grandma Brown move to she left left him and moved out to to Washington where she had a daughter living out there. My mom had a sister out there and she lived out there the rest rest of her life and remarried after Gump died.

32:04 And she's buried out there.

32:07 Tall I never I probably knew her as much as anybody cuz I remember it one time. My folks were having problems and we moved out there for 3-4 months now. It's cool out there and we live with Grandma Brown in Washington again in Washington.

32:27 So, but of course, I didn't know the only time I ever saw my grandpa Van Buskirk was at his funeral and I never grandma grandma before the folks are married. So

32:39 So I didn't really know how grandma was supposed to act. How am I doing? I'm doing good.

32:48 I had a question. I forgot what was it like to run the John Deere Grandpa drove the bed red truck. He drove the bread truck for a number of years. And then the man that owns the John Deere came to him and asked him if he would like to come in with him and eventually by into the John Deere dealership and I just thought it was terrible idea. I just talked on you leave this perfectly good job is secure job insurance and all this but fortunately your death here grab didn't listen to me. So he we ended up going in there and for the first few years. I I didn't I wasn't involved and then the bookkeeper was ready to retire. So then I started keeping books and just got to be as the business changed. It got became a full-time job.

33:39 And then when when Grandpa died, we had a Salesman to and found your company agreed for us that we could keep the franchise him. So so I I did Jean and I did together.

33:57 So and that was

34:00 It was good because I was sick at me busy. I didn't have any time to think about poor poor me at all on and I liked I liked the work people were good to me.

34:13 So it was it was good and then course when I retired them then large my son Michael was able to step in.

34:25 When you grandpa had already moved to Culbertson before you guys got married and found did he find your apartment with? Yes? Yes. He did. He did he was in fact, he was had already moved in as it turned out. We bought land next to them eventually and built right next door to them. But they were kind of the kids's resident Grandma and Grandpa treats made with swerve for years and years. They were us that's what they were 40 years old which to me seem quite all then but now it seems very young and they had no children. So they were just and they loved it. So they were just so good that kids would penny in your mom would crawl up the basement stairs and go in to see 2 today was and they were always tickled to see

35:14 They were good neighbors for you. All they were they were good neighbors to the end and it was it was helpful when you you were first married. And yes, yes, and of course it was in those days, you know two months after we're married. I was pregnant so she helped me and my mother had sewn for me all my life. But you know, sometimes how it is. I couldn't learn from her and we didn't have homework in school. So to to we learned how to I have learned how to hem diapers and then she taught me how to sew maternity Smock sand and then, you know, eventually when Penny got married she helped me so her wedding dress.

35:51 Is there anything else that we haven't talked about that you want to add?

35:57 I guess I'd ask you to him. What what do you think your family strong points are just that we are that we stay together and I'm blessed. I think that I've grown up with not just a mom and dad that love me and that I see all the time but two grandmothers and several aunts and uncles and cousins and my brother. It's been a we're rich and family and for certain I miss being part of that when I'm here well and you know, that's the sad part about it is time goes on there's lesson. I mean you're all beginning to move away. And so then we realize how fortunate we were that you were here all these years you kids so