Jean Garcia and Kenneth Garcia

Recorded February 27, 2006 Archived February 27, 2006 00:00 minutes
Audio not available

Interview ID: MBY001166


son interivews his mom about how she single-handedly raised her three sons once her husband got very ill. until then she’d always been dependent on her husband. very nice interivew.


  • Jean Garcia
  • Kenneth Garcia

Recording Location

MobileBooth West


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00:04 My name is Ken Garcia 42 years old today is day is February 27th?

00:11 2006 in San Diego here and her relationship to my partner is so I'm son

00:19 And I'm a Jean Garcia and I'm 66. And today is February 27th 2006 and where in beautiful San Diego California and my partner is my son right now will be interviewing me.

00:45 Okay.

00:48 It's actually an interview to fill in some blanks mom butt

00:53 You mentioned it just a few weeks ago when the Olympics started. So I thought I'd start there. Just we probably touched on these stories a few times over and over but I wanted I wanted to hear what you knew is terms of

01:09 With my great-grandfather, I guess right Carino. Yes. He did. Yes. He did your grandfather. Your grandfather was Italian he migrated. He has he came through New York, but he happened to come to see a friend that lived in Mexico.

01:28 And he fell in love with a Mexican people and he stayed

01:35 And he was young and he married.

01:39 My grandmother was Mexican. How old was he when he was in his in his early twenties and very early twenties, and he was some looking.

01:58 At the country looking looking for a place looking to looking Adventure at the time until he married my grandmother did he have was there a lot of family that he left the did family ever come to visit him in Mexico what I never hear much about that evidently not we have looked up. We have looked and looked and so far we have been unable to find.

02:30 Anything like my cousins have been to.

02:35 To Italy a lot and nobody can seem to locate family. So it all starts their it all starts their we know because my grandfather spoke it and then he said he was Italian all the way but that was that was that he had very many friends and he did come to find his friend in Mexico. And what are you do for a living before he left and and when he got to Mexico

03:04 He was a wine importer.

03:07 And he also worked in a bakery.

03:11 And he had his own Bakery.

03:15 And then when he came to this country he immediately

03:21 Got into the because there were there were by then there were lots of children and that they all came within they left. They left Mexico During the Revolution. They narrowly escaped the revolution.

03:36 And they came to no gallus into Arizona and to Tucson where they travel from the Mexico from the from Guaymas.

03:48 I'm so Laura into Samara and they came with all their children.

03:54 And escaping the revolution

03:57 And they came through no gallus. They immigrated into the United States.

04:04 Legally Legally and they made it home in Tucson, Arizona.

04:18 Now, what did did your grandmother have an occupation? Where is there to know my day when they just waited to get married? My grandmother was one of those and they made their home and she took care of her children and her husband and hard-working woman very much of the family. Was there ever a story about how they met?

04:46 There was an idea to sleep. I cannot say that I have I have any recollection of it. I I know there was some stories, but I just

04:57 I just don't know the correct story to that son. I really wish I could tell you about it, but I don't so so we're in Tucson now. So Grandma was born in Mexico grandma was born in Mexico. And she said she was the youngest at the time she was the youngest at the time when they immigrated or how old was she when she moved his whole family. She was a baby.

05:24 My other aunts weren't they were still children and and a grown-up adult and at the time 2.

05:36 And and forward fast forward fast forward cuz I'd always been interested in that part and it's feels like we still don't quite know everything, you know, we don't Ed and I don't because I my mother was one of the youngest and I think that a lot of the story was I was the youngest of my mother's and at the time I should have when they was telling the stories. I was too young to be interested and then when they repeated the stories, I was never there.

06:10 So so I did not get in on the bottom line. All I know is that my we were very proud of our heritage two of the most colorful.

06:25 Ethnic

06:28 People that we could mix the Mexicans and the Italians and it was it was a beautiful. I remember having a wonderful childhood.

06:42 I had ants that were the most colorful the most musical the best Crooks. They got the best of everything. They they don't give a family gathering old family gatherings was when the earliest I can remember was when my uncles came back from the war my two uncles that were they now they looked all Italian the blue-green eyes the curly hair tall handsome dark handsome men.

07:12 My aunts were also very beautiful. But they were the typical Italian and a little bit of the Mexican put in there. They were musical. They were good Cooks they were strong. They were very

07:32 They were very bent on raising their children the best the best way they knew how to be good in every way not only in your community. But in manners respect we were taught all of that. Once you were in that family you everybody was your mother everybody was your problem. You were a family you were just really close at but the those the party I remember the most getting together with was when my uncles came back from the war and we celebrated New Year's.

08:10 And oh my God so much food.

08:14 My grandmother's so proud of my uncle's so proud of the way. The war was one. They were home. They were going to start a new life. I was very small. I was about 434 years old and I remember I just remembered a really good part and all the kids and everybody was there and we were just it was so happy. It was Tucson, Arizona and it was a cold cold day.

08:49 And I remember everybody breaking an egg into a glass of water and putting it outside and that was going to tell them their future that work. I don't know how it worked. But when they brought him in after that cold morning my uncle

09:11 My uncle said that he he was he was going to have more in his family more family members. I don't know how it looked. I was too small to die just looked at all the glasses and the Egg was forming all kinds of shapes and everything. Are there only a few people know how to do that. I have no idea where it came from or what I was too small to all I wanted to do was look into the glasses and hear what they had to say, but I heard one uncle say that my uncle

09:47 His name was on his cover letter, and he said I am I see right here in my class. I will have more children will have children.

09:58 You know and what you made my aunt very happy and I could see they were it was just like I was with hormone, but it was it was beautiful. It was a very beautiful moment. My grandmother was elated at my aunt's were here from California. My aunt was my aunt does Sophie was from California with all her children and her children were also in the service and they were all their my uncles were so good. Looking in their uniforms my Uncle Phil

10:34 My my uncle I'm not my Uncle Phil, that was my cousin Phil.

10:41 And my aunt was so proud they look so handsome. They were such a handsome man. Whatever service. I know they were just in the service for the war. They joined the service to fight a war. It was a noble or the pretty nerve-wracking while they were gone. I have no idea. I was very small. I only know that we went to we went into town one day to meet my mother after work.

11:10 And we were at the library.

11:16 It was the right in town. It was the library was riding down. The Carnegie Library was right in town.

11:24 And we remember sirens and horns and everybody running all over the place with the end of the war.

11:33 And my mother came running to us because we were a little bit scared. We were supposed to meet her there because we were going to go eat something at

11:40 At the drugstore

11:43 And my mother just came and picked us up and she says the war is over and she hugged us and pretty soon. We were part of the crowd. I didn't know who it was but everybody was happy and everybody was just it was just a really great great great woman. It was really nice it was and then we went home and we met and everybody with the family just stay together for a few days just to celebrate the fact that my uncles were coming out.

12:17 And my cousins and everybody and then my aunt's buy New Year's my aunt's arrive at my Aunt arrived from my aunt's arrived one from Phoenix, which is my Tia Victoria and one from North California Los Angeles my DS Sofia and all their families all their brood all their it was just nice house 3 or 4 years old 4 years old. I remember how family members to spread out quite a bit Frozen move to San Francisco.

12:58 Because I guess I'm not sure I never really heard it was like everything else that there was maybe jobs.

13:08 Ultimately, ultimately came to California because of jobs. Yes, that one was that.

13:16 That was before. Well, I was born in Whittier. My sister was born in Tucson Whittier, and she had moved by then there was so my father worked for a dairy farm. He was a manager of a dairy farm more than one years and Whittier.

13:49 And it was like we were here for quite a while. I guess not quite a while my father and my mother separated my mother left to Tucson and

14:03 That's where we were when the war ended.

14:07 We weren't in California anymore. But my aunts were here. My aunt. My aunt was in Los Angeles and my other account was in Phoenix. We lived in Phoenix for a little while. And then we moved to Tucson to be closer to my grandmother.

14:23 And then California shortly after and then when I got married I moved back to California.

14:32 We moved back to California. I don't know if I know this one, but how did you meet that?

14:38 Your dad was your

14:41 Ants friend my sisters friend. They went to school together. They went to high school and I remember him.

14:51 When I was going to school that they were friends.

14:55 And my sister are they he went into the service. He went into the Navy and my sister got married. He came back one time from the Navy and he just thought he'd stop by and see what my sister was and what she was up to in.

15:11 He came by the house and I met him and that was it fell in love and married your dad hate you if you had you'd met a stranger that day and just wow, look at this guy, but you had known who it was. Yes, I knew his and we knew his family. We know everybody what made that I don't know. It was just wasn't that much different Burgess.

15:40 He hadn't seen him quite in that context. So I was small I was there with you was 7 years older at the time. I was small maybe he just did not make an impression on me that age but he did make an impression on me as you know, I was already in and working.

15:58 In high school and he was out of the Navy just out of the Navy and nine months later. I guess it was instinctively. We just we just fell in love and that was it. Your grandmother didn't want it because he was an older and but eventually it was that was her that you give you guys problems such a good person.

16:37 He just she didn't give us any problems. He was a real good person a very smart person of very polite the very

16:48 Yeah, you just use charismatic puke if you know how to get around my mom in an adult way.

16:54 That was in a TDA. We just

16:59 We just married and

17:02 Our first son Edmund was born in

17:06 What was he doing at the time the Cowboys he was in he work for another parts house and he was a controller what they called a controller. He worked in this little office that had all the parts and they would he kept track of what went in and out and it was not a parts house and he worked in their office and he always, you know, he did a little bit of accounting for him. And so small Tucson much there when he came back from the service was he

17:42 No, he wasn't tired of living. There. He is again again. Yes. Yes, he felt and your grandmother had already moved here to my mom had moved here. You know, she just grandma grandma got a little head moved and she might because her sister my and Irene lived here, and she wanted to be close to her sister and my dear Sofia.

18:12 And does she wanted to be with her sisters sold both idea to move your family was there but it was dad's idea to move. It was a guess he want he wanted to move. Yes. He did if you wanted to find a better job and you know, it was just time. It was just one of those decisions matter to you. Yes, it did. I thought it I never wanted to leave Tucson. I had friends I had family my family was there even if my mother wasn't there my answer then my sister was there. She was married my your Aunt Helen had the three children already and you know, it was hard you were going to leave all of that. But I was also I was also grown grown up enough to know that you follow at the time you follow your husband or whatever you want.

19:02 So we went to Redondo Beach where my Aunt Irene and my mom bought a house there and we lived there for a while.

19:12 And

19:15 We left it there and your dad went worked at the post office at the time.

19:20 Beach property

19:23 But then your grandmother moved to San Bernardino and and we found a little tongue quite appealing to us. That's when I was expecting your brother Charles.

19:37 And it was very appealing I said, okay, leave you guys gave up each property and your grandmother was there and it was following family at the Thai family meant a lot to it to be and I wanted you guys to be with your grandmother. She we were only two girls your sister lived in Tucson. I mean my sister live in Tucson now your sister my sister lived in Tucson.

20:02 And she wanted to be with your grandchildren and your dad made the sacrifice and he said yeah, that's right. I want my children to have

20:13 Because his mom would come and stay with us through with Australia to say so it's out of the way so she feel about what she didn't mind it because your grandmother was almost your on your father's side Feliciano. Garcia was a most precious person.

20:32 And I never minded having her so she could come and stay three six months out of the year when she wasn't taking care of her daughters that were expecting babies because your your father had a big family.

20:47 Your grandmother had

20:50 12 children nine of them alive

20:53 That lived to a ripe old age and she had 58 grandchildren.

21:03 She owe you had an aunt on your father's side the oldest and had 18 children.

21:11 She was quite an and all of them had nine kids. I'm the only one that said no, but he was the youngest son and that's when you guys have having nine kids and I think I think we picked Edmond Charles and can very well three boys and I was very happy with that. I got to tell the story of when I was born. You guys weren't prepared with a name. No, go ahead. And you know, I know we were in those days. He stayed in the hospital five days where you were born in San Bernardino.

21:51 Charles was born in to be in Redondo Beach, and I name my name Charles after a calendar a Mexican calendar of a bullfighter. It was supposed to be Godless Luis Garcia, and I know I named him. I know his your dad said no, he's going to have to live in this country all the days of his life cuz he has to be so we named him Charles Luis Garcia, but then you came along and you didn't happen and we didn't know what to do about though. I wasn't supposed to be a boy in the first place. I wanted a girl and your dad said he did it didn't matter to him, but we didn't have a name and we were able to Catholic Hospital.

22:33 And the nuns kept telling me I had to give you a name. I have to give you a name before you left. So one of the nurses told me that you had to assist assist so I wish you wouldn't even after my fiance. He is the most wonderful she named all these good qualities and I thought what more could a mother ask for all those good qualities of a grown man, you know, and she's I said, what's his name Kenneth James?

23:03 And Kenneth James and Kenneth James. It was and I come to find out that that the name James is a very Noble.

23:15 Noble name it Barry and I read a story about the saying about Saint James.

23:22 What was my name going to be if I was girl, I who I have no idea how we don't know that no. I didn't know that either I could have nine months. No. Yeah, but you have to remember that your brother and you were only a year apart was like and that's the end of that year was the year that Kennedy you were you were born to the January after Kennedy was shot.

23:46 And so we were all busy in all of this was fair going on that. I didn't think of, you know, it was there was so much to think about cuz I hate for you to have thought of a name for the dog, I think upon for me. No, no, no, no. No, it was in the world and in our world, you know in in my country, you know that our little world was I I was you know, it was just devastating at the time.

24:17 You know, and then you were born the coming January and we hadn't thought of a name. We just it was though. So many news so much news to listen to.

24:29 End. But she came up with a good name. I looked up put James Mann and you've lived up to St. James every expectation.

24:40 And and Charles lived up. No, you just lived up to all he stood for and then Charles lived up to everything that bullfighter stood up for and Edmond.

24:56 He made your dad proud that he was named after him.

25:01 He's also very much like your dad and you're all you've all made me proud. My best I can see my proudest moment.

25:15 Was when you all graduated from college.

25:21 Because I at the time when your father passed away I had to do it by myself and you guys just really went through with flying colors. That was that was a best.

25:32 And

25:35 And then

25:38 I guess you could say.

25:41 I would I can see to take my saddest moment was when your father passed away, but he had seen you all grow up. He saw Charles play football in college he saw.

25:52 He saw you become such a noble person and a good person and Ed was just his pride and joy is always His companion his and he saw you all and so it was a good it was a good thing. He got to see you all but he didn't get to see all of you graduate from college I did and it was a good good feeling the next thing that was good for me was buying my own home giving you guys a place to stay.

26:29 A place to come home to a nice not an apartment not that was my next.

26:37 And then

26:39 First and foremost

26:42 Seeing my granddaughter born my daughter-in-law Letty. I cannot say enough about her letting me be in there and watching my first granddaughter born a God that was that would take your heart away and she has lived up to all my expectations the best thing that ever happened.

27:11 I don't know if I didn't do any preparation before hand, and I'm not even sure if you want to talk about it or not, but

27:19 You mention the things, you know, you helped the chief getting us through college and everything, which you wouldn't by the way, that's your kind of getting into the things that I'm most proud of you for but I want

27:36 I'm hoping you're you can tell what you had to overcome.

27:41 To get there and it was mate is a lot of it. This Dad's health. Yes. It was it was it was it wasn't that bad. I had your dad it was bad because I know I was going to have him for too long and it was good because he helped me he had enough time to help me. Let's face it. I was married when I was 17 and he was he was already 23. He was more mature than I was and I Had My Moments When I was a you know, I wasn't. I was at the most mature person in the world, but you see your baby's you see one baby and you say okay now I grow up. This is it I'm a mother and you tend to it and he gave me that chance to never have to go to work and Brace you guys which was great because

28:34 I raised you and then all of a sudden.

28:39 He was Ill when when was his first heart attack?

28:43 He was he was 31.

28:48 And I would have been what year.

28:50 Okay, he was born in 33, so.

28:56 So he was 31 first heart attack.

29:00 And it was going to be okay. They didn't find anything wrong and it was just a heart attack at a young age. But then three years later no two years later another one.

29:14 And two years after that another one.

29:17 And then it continued.

29:20 And that's when I knew I had to do something.

29:26 And we were living in Sacramento at the time.

29:32 And I just had to find a place to

29:38 To do something with myself because I was a housewife. No, no schooling nothing nothing.

29:46 And

29:48 He was not feeling that you want to do to be a part of us anymore. The all he wanted to do is Curl Up & Dye.

29:55 Cuz his heart attacks and everything were taking a toll on but I picked you guys up.

30:02 Traveled across the state and I told you guys hey, there's a place for us out there and we're going to do something and I'm going to do something and I did I ended up in San Diego San Diego on nothing. We were just driving. I told you we were on vacation and I said wherever we feel so whenever we feel we have two are you guys like it? That's where we're going and we ended up in an El Cajon at the time with small real small.

30:32 And I we stayed at a motel and everybody said they liked it there and

30:41 And that's how we came to be here because the next day I we were stayed in the hotel the next day. I went and applied for a job. I got a job which was nobody could be that I have never worked in my life and

30:57 I got a job selling Sporting Goods.

31:01 At Parkway Plaza had just opened.

31:04 And then I saw that I was passing through this place one time and I saw all these people all these girls coming out of this place and they look like they worked and I thought wonder what they're doing and I stop by there and they told me that they were the assembled parts for computers and all of that.

31:23 And then I asked him what does it take to work here in this is why you have to go to school to learn to be an Electronics assembler.

31:31 And I said, okay keep my application. I'll be back. I'm going to school.

31:35 I'll give you guys some place to stay and I got an apartment and the next day they called me up and told me to come in. I didn't go to school. I just went to work and I work with them for 20 years. I worked as a little bit of everything I did.

31:54 I did until I ended up in the office before.

31:58 Company started to downsize

32:01 But I had I had a good job. I put you guys to school. I bought a home. I made sure that you guys were on your own and the best decision you ever made the best decision I ever made coming to San Diego. Yes. Yes, because I your father came and joined us.

32:21 He did not want all of a sudden. He didn't want to die anymore. He wanted to make sure what time it past year was a good thing that I left. It kind of opened his eyes at T. He lived after that. He lived. What about 14 years Morin?

32:43 And no and would you would you have changed if you'd stayed in Sacramento, would you have changed to?

32:51 That person who took charge went to work. I wasn't I wasn't I was not a way that I could know what made you think you could at that point or did you know you could I didn't know I could know I didn't it was something that I had to I had to learn by something that I didn't I was very dependent on your father.

33:15 I have to leave in order to help to gain my Independence. The only thing that I didn't want to do was leave you guys behind I brought you with me.

33:26 We were going to do it. We're going to do it the three of us together.

33:31 A year later, he joined us. Yeah, and he was very proud of me for having taken that step. I think that was part of his frustration that he knew that he was leaving behind just a little housewife but I think that the time at that time or and maybe do you think now about Destiny, you know where that is your path is played out. You just don't know what it is until you run into you. Think about it then when you moved no, no, I was too busy. I was too busy thinking about leaving him over there and he was sick.

34:20 And having you guys here and that you all had to do you have you have to go on a on a pathway that I did not know how to construct, you know, because I had always had his help and it turned out that I still had 14 years of his help I went to work and he taught me how to grow up and what to expect when I became stronger and stronger and stronger and that way I could see you guys through your rough spots in your

34:54 And all all I know is that

34:57 I wanted.

35:00 You are Mexicans that.

35:03 I had to I had to lead.

35:07 Lead you through a lot of turmoil you you know, I didn't want you in gangs.

35:15 I didn't want that sweat made me so happy when I bought a house that I could buy it away from everything. I don't want you in gangs. I didn't want you to be the cholo, you know street thugs. I wanted you to have some class and it itch acacian and all of that.

35:33 And you did.

35:36 You said you all came through flying colors?

35:40 Where do you see things going from here?

35:42 From here. Oh, I don't see anything except my granddaughter. You're all grown. You're on your own you you live your own lives.

35:52 Olivia on lives my granddaughter. My granddaughter lives in Los Angeles. I live here. But every phone call every visit is really special.

36:06 And just like you guys that's the expectation was incredible. I mean, I never expected you guys to all all three of you turn out.

36:18 Usually you got a druggie or an alcohol or something. I don't have any of those. I have three really meet guys and one little girl that's super special and I should not leave out.

36:34 Charles

36:36 Married somebody that had three children already.

36:41 And I should not omit those kids because

36:45 No matter what.

36:48 There are times when they make me proud to

36:52 And they do and there are times when

36:56 I can't believe

36:59 I can't believe that.

37:02 Then I'm watching three children again grow up three and four with my granddaughter. I can't believe it. Sometimes it's good and that I was able to retire.

37:16 With all that

37:18 Pleasure ahead of me.

37:20 I got a big garden and you provided me with a good home and garden and everything. It's been wonderful. It's been great. And I do I do for see that these children are going to be

37:36 Very smart

37:39 And are going to make good choices because my son is a big influence on him.

37:46 Know what the next big thing for you? So you've I would like to go to I would like to go.

37:54 To Italy

37:58 And I would also like to go to Mexico just to two countries that I come from. That's the next big thing ever. They come about.

38:08 You believe in destiny.

38:11 Oh, yes. Everybody's got sure sure. I do I believe in it because look at how many things have happened to me and what I've come through.

38:21 And I I managed to raise healthy kids.

38:28 And

38:29 NW you teach me a lot you teach me a lot.

38:36 And I take it from there. I mean

38:39 Even if I just

38:41 Pick at the at the computer. I never thought I'd sit down and do that. You know that I and I and I see a lot of things that I want to see I want to see what I world is going to be like I am so I am so fascinated by everything new that's coming up. I mean this computer thing is incredible. You know what I even though even though I can't I can't I program my electronic stuff, but I think it's incredible. I love the Isle of the cell phone, even though I don't use it very much but I like that I think it's great that you can call somebody up but you know right out of your purse and and I love all of that on the new stuff that's come up. I just I think it's good and there's so much more that I don't even know about.

39:34 I read the newspaper from one end to the other every single morning.

39:39 Because I want to know what is new out there. I'm very sad about the state of our country right now. It makes me sad cuz I don't see anything good coming from all of this, but huh, let me tell you.

39:56 That it will bounce back before it's like everything else people bounce back places things that you you bought. Everybody has a second chance.

40:09 And I'm really I'm I look forward to that. You know Second Life Second Chance second everything, you know, if you did it wrong the first time do it, right the second time. It's need really need kids really knew I was feeling this is advice for Carla Rose. So when we take her to Washington, DC

40:32 Who knows one five years 10 years 15 years away to take yes, I would love to see if we're going to go to the library Congress and we're going to pull up this archive and you're going to have a chance to leave a little bit of advice for her to get by in this new world that you're kind of you get little chance to touch on but she's going to enter this one full force After all you've been through what what is it? She's going to need to know to make it from here.

41:08 She's going to be smart.

41:10 Education education education education educate yourself whatever you do go to school for as long as you can.

41:24 Go to school get a profession be independent don't ever depend on anybody.

41:35 Baby, you go out there and you're going to be able to take the world because right now you've got such a good start. You got smart parents.

41:45 Letty and Charles are so smart. He's just got smart brothers and sisters.

41:50 And

41:52 She's going to be very beautiful. My granddaughter is going to be beautiful.

41:58 Her sister is and her and Carla Rose just follows right in their path. So she's going to have to be very smart very independent and

42:13 And motivated to motivate yourself to learn how to motivate and just and be a mover and a Shaker Carla strive for the highest you can

42:29 Don't settle don't settle for anything strive to

42:35 Just whatever whatever it is that it takes to get you to be.

42:42 The best the best of what you choose

42:47 And she's got a lot of cheese. She's just going to be

42:53 And I know Carly Rose that you're going to be smart. I know that you will be very smart.

43:03 So

43:04 If you want to hear it from your Nonna.

43:09 Come to and listen to this you are I know that you can do it because we did it with everything against it.

43:21 Against us. We still did it. Your uncle's got an education and

43:29 And we managed you your grandma didn't but luck was with her. I also have a guardian angel and I'm passing it on to her.

43:41 He's been that Guardian. Angel has been good to me.

43:44 And I'm passing it on to her. I hope she gets the same one I have.

43:49 Cuz he's taking care of me.

43:54 Or she just taking care of me.

43:57 Good to me. I just wish I had more hair everything in my life. I wish I had my hair and Carla Rose. You have a lot of here and it's beautiful and you can hold on to it baby go places with her and you can go.

44:18 Is there anything else you'd like to say?

44:22 I just interested that I right now I feel so I go over this real quick. It's a short time but right now.

44:35 I feel like

44:37 Like it's opened up for me like a new I finally am going to be able to tell somebody this.

44:46 Even if I'm not here.

44:49 I am somebody will be hearing this and thanks for the opportunity son. This was really need. I love you for my pleasure.

45:00 I just got into my other two sons and their families.

45:06 But take whatever. I'm very proud of all of you.

45:11 We are if you think we don't make it there without you. Thank you. Thank you. Love you. Love you, too.

45:26 I'm wondering.

45:28 The question I just press stop. So you'll have one track and if I just wanted to clarify something with you, would that be okay? I wanted to ask you a little bit about when you mentioned your husband in that time. You started went over it pretty quick. I just wanted to ask you what was going on at that time if it would be okay. Sometimes we make clips of a conversation. I thought this was so beautiful that I'd like to recommend it to the radio station.

46:05 I'm in the majors that you're my time just doing it in case they need as like if it's a discrete story. So I just wanted to show us a time when she moved from Sacramento. Yes exactly. What did that your husband didn't feel like

46:24 Ring anymore, or what was well you're moving and he just he could not he cannot accept that he cannot accept his illness.

46:35 He felt that he was he didn't he just when they told him that he would only live to a year to two more years. He he just wanted not to see him that way for us to leave, but I felt that.

46:53 If given the chance, I think you know and I had done a lot of reading and everything that he could to have a little bit of a chance to live longer, but he would not accept it and it it was very hard for me to see my children see him in this state of mind because he had always been such a strong person that I thought. Okay. I have got to leave so that they remember their father strong and a good person not somebody that a failure, you know, okay, I don't want to live anymore. This is it so when we did leave

47:32 It was because of that that I had hoped that he would come to his.

47:37 If I left him alone to think about this.

47:42 He was so he had open heart disease before he had he had the arteries of Old Trafford three heart attacks and two strokes in this lifetime. It's a second stroke that he he passed away from

47:58 But that was already here when he suffered his last Strokes when he was here in San Diego with us.

48:06 And he was young he could not accept that he was a young man. He died it 49.

48:16 Yes, I am one day. I just did not want to hear it anymore that you know, I'm going to die. I'm old. I feel like an old man. I'm I don't you know, I don't see any future I'd he didn't want to do anything. They had told him he couldn't work anymore and he says I'm no good to you. Go find yourself somebody that you know, that's good for you and just just a

48:43 Just like he has given up.

48:47 He gave up and I couldn't see giving up. I didn't want to give up.

48:52 So I

48:54 I said Okay, then if you feel that way, then you're going to have to do it alone as much as I love you. You will do it alone.

49:02 You won't help yourself and you don't let me help you and you've got to do this alone.

49:07 And I told my children I said we are leaving on a vacation and I don't know where we're going or what we're going to do but we are leaving and I put them in the car put some clothes in the car and drove away.

49:21 And he says what you're not going to make it because you've never driven any further than the corner drugstore and but we did.

49:28 We came all the way along the coast and we stopped to see family along the way and everybody should stay here. Stay here. I said no, I have got to go because in my mind I have to I have to grow up I had to do something I had to not be a house get away from the the mentality of I was a housewife and that's all I would ever did and that's all I was ever going to do. So we just keep driving and we came over here.

49:56 And the done a sack of potatoes for what few weeks Department. We ate rice for one week and till I got paid literally potatoes rice and potatoes no more. No less and we did that for a while until things for were settled in is Empty Apartment.

50:19 And yeah, we had a hard time finding an apartment, but the landlady in those days, I don't know. I think she was a little bit prejudiced. She just did not or she was something she did not want to rent a center apartment.

50:33 Oh, she said that we were that she she just did not like

50:43 A Trent two children and a woman alone, but I think it was our that we were Mexican. So I asked her because this was real close to my job. And even if I had a car I knew that the kids are going to be alone. So, you know, my older son was very very responsible. I told her if she would rent to us for 3 months and if she didn't like us she could throw us out. I'd even sign a paper.

51:11 But we stayed there for 14 years and she loved my children and she could as a matter fact when I left when I did buy my my house he gave us a month's rent free so that we had time to prepare to move.

51:28 But and she admitted that she didn't like she had never met a Mexican she liked.

51:35 But she she loved me kind of hard to comprehend that today. But it but it happened. It was at over there. It was the tail end of it, but that's sort of prejudice was still there. That's the sort of thing that I think it'd be pretty hard-pressed to run into unless you went to some place more ice later than this but it's something I hardly run into I ran into a growing up but I don't think anyone would really know what it's like growing up today because people are just more tolerance by and large but those are things that we didn't we didn't think about it too much because he always had to move forward that you have to keep doing things. But it's what are up every now and then

52:17 What was it like for you? When your parent when your dad was so sad? What do you remember if it will you feeling I don't remember a lot of it to be honest with you. I'd say that.

52:28 Probably my strongest memories. I think of my dad was when he returned to San Diego because he was there.

52:38 The roles have reversed. He was there at home. He was the one keeping us in check in school. He'd attend all of our practices all of our extracurricular functions. He was there to talk to her teachers. He was there a Lawton and that's it. It's those years. I think that I remember a lot and I remember

53:01 When he had his first stroke it I got a chance to see him come back from that. I mean here is a person that that was on the brink of giving up in Sacramento and then when he was in San Diego, he didn't really sit down and take having that stroke real comfortably. I mean he he worked very hard and with my mother's help work very hard their there wasn't

53:30 Hearing that story about him giving up isn't the same itch I have of seeing him when I was in high school that that wasn't the same person. And those are my strongest memories of him so that I don't know if it was necessarily of sheltered or anything, but it may be just those are the things I wanted to stick him in my mind. He was doing great sweetie could just started grade school. What did your life?

53:57 Night before with your husband. What was that bro? Like, where were you guys like? Oh, I was I was alive. I was there. I was a consummate housewife and I was I was I took care of the children I made their costumes. I I was so very much the the the housewife the Mexican housewife.

54:16 I had dinner on the table when he got home I had his because I did his ironing and make sure he look nice to be at work and make sure he you know, and he was the husband that came home and and and his children were very important to him and the end they were in bed by 8 because that was our time together. We had we had a good marriage. We had a good marriage.

54:45 But dumb

54:48 That that was a when he refused to fight for his life.

54:56 I have to

54:58 I'd I just I just couldn't I just couldn't see him do it and it was something that I don't know. That's why I I don't know what made me think that if I left he change and he did I really don't know what it was and he did he changed he came he came to San Diego and and visited one cell. He Bo he came to babysit for the summer because I was working and he says y'all can watch the kids while you work and then he by the end of the year. He he came back.

55:33 And where did you work at the computer? What was that, So it was it was it was a subsidiary of General Dynamics? It was the date of Graphics. They they did they make computers that at the time they were big monstrous things, you know office computers and and and I just did wiring and soldered and did stuff like that in there and and I was very fortunate that I say, I have a guardian angel somewhere that leads me to these things the same for I never thought I'd buy a house but I met this lady at a party one day and she says what do you mean you can't you want to buy a house and you can't

56:14 And I said, well I would like to and I there was a time there when I worked a whole I mean I was just working. Sometimes I took 16 hours a day and I managed to say a little bit of money and she says you got enough money to buy a house. She says I can help you.

56:34 And she was a realtor and to this day.

56:40 What was her name? I glory glory and John Boy & John Amador. I I own my I own everything because they found me that place. I just remember this name and I own so much because they she went they just found me a place and I was able to get my kids into a nice of my children were all ready. Well High School graduated college and Charles was already at Redlands.

57:19 No, he's back. You still had a year to go with State still on his eye.

57:30 Should be obvious by now. Look at all you've done. No, but I think I told you this before he even asked me one time, you know who your hero is and I said it pretty matter-of-fact then I still say it matter of fact now, I think just because it's so obvious but just all those things you went through you talk about you know, what? I don't know if I could do that sort of thing today just drop everything and move the length of a state away to start a new life with really no guarantees on what's going to happen. No guarantees that you can even start up, you know find work fine place to live especially having have no point of reference for that.

58:19 Is it you save your marriage?

58:21 You know who it was worth it to you kept you kept the kids on the straight and narrow. It was a made it through school. But you know what? I think I think people instinctively can tell you that it pays. I mean you can look at that logically and say, you know what? That's that's a formula for Success just keep at it. You hear it all the self-help books. You hear it in the news. You hear it on Oprah. You tell me about Oprah all the time. But the thing is is that

58:54 Most people can't do it.

58:57 Because it's hard.

58:59 It's too it's just too hard. Most people can't do it, you know these days these days people, you know that still attached some you know, psychological Melody to it. It's so you know some acronym that they say well this is a preventing them from achieving this, you know, they've got this disorder that disorder, you know

59:21 You had that you didn't really buy into any of the excuses at any time. There was just no excuse. You knew what you had to do and you did it and

59:32 You'd be hard-pressed to find people.

59:35 That just didn't it's like the commercial just do it. You just did it.

59:41 And you accomplished all these things and that's why I guess I asked you at the end that you know, what's next for you. You've accomplished everything for everyone now and

59:53 It's your turn your there should be some reward for a job. Well done because it's not a child that everyone can do you all turned out good and I don't have to worry about you. I don't think that's a reward enough. Most people. This is this is something that you always have that that worry on your back. Oh, I wonder if you know if he's going to end up in jail or if he's going to you just and you and and I and I don't I don't have that. I even have a granddaughter that I don't worry too much about I just enjoy

00:32 And what his life. You I am at your last question. I'm sorry. You guys are so wonderful. I taught you.

00:48 Oh, I think it's it's taught me that you just forge ahead. Don't let anything get in the way you a lot of people put too many obstacles in their way and dumb.

01:02 And I think you know your own strengths. I think you know your end user and and it was it use your strengths. Don't let him don't let anybody Cloud your only 20 people are followers. The everybody has to do what the other person does, you know, all that's not right. This isn't you know, because don't think there wasn't weren't people that said, you know, my mother was one of them all you can do it, please don't leave I often I'll help with a kids, you know, but you got to do what you think is best and I knew that if I could just get on my own I would be okay.

01:38 I would be fine. Just let me be on my own and I did it because I believed.

01:46 I believe that I could do it.

01:49 And that's that's really something that you have to believe in yourself at the time. I didn't think of it that way. You know, I just used to think I know I can do this or I know I can get a job there. I am almost sure I'll do whatever it takes to you don't but now I know that it's just belief in yourself and you look back and see that's all it is. Just believing. Where did you get that Billy from?

02:16 I think you're my mother my mother. My mother was a strong person a very she raised us that way she she she didn't marry again because she didn't believe that we would be happy with a stepfather or that we would you know, she wanted us to turn out.

02:37 Her way not somebody's voice started. I wanted to go so far back at the beginning with her grandmother because I guess women I've ever heard stories of and and it it does trace back that far. I mean she tells she tells a very good stories about her grandmother and and that the cats and I mediate these are just leave her get that from from them. Yes. My my mother was a strong person. We never lived in a rented house.

03:21 We always had our own home.

03:24 We she always meant she wasn't she she she knew where she was. She wanted to go but happy if she you gave her a piano she sang beautifully and she was she was a happy person very happy. She's saying and she played the piano on my and so did they do a strong women when they have to be

03:52 And that's the way I guess.

03:56 That's that's where I get it from that and I hope my God, that's it to my granddaughter. Her name is Carla Rose. Just my mother's name was Charlotte and her name is car and I've got a son that's Charles and I think those they just he's the same way he Forge Forge ahead and let's and go and they all have a good it's it's a good thing just do it.