Cynthia Davis Johnson and Courtney Johnson Rome

00:03 My name is Courtney Leilani Johnson row and 31 today is April 23rd 2010. We're in Reno, Nevada and I am speaking with my mother. So I'm her daughter and mother I am Cynthia actually Davis Johnson and I'm 63 years old today is April 23rd is Courtney said and we are in Reno, Nevada and I am Courtney's mom. So today we're going to talk about my mom's mom lady and a little bit about her life. So what was your relationship with lady? Like my mom was a very special person. She was what I would say unique in her time and her age she became as I became older into a teenager very much my best friend and it was very sad when her life ended early. She was only about 55 years old. She was in a plane wreck in Alaska looking at polar bears.

01:03 She's one of these people that she felt that she never wanted to get old and she want never wanted to be a burden to any buns so as difficult as it was when she died. It was also a blessing for her because she never did get old and she went in a manner that was you know, very fitting for her to you that you're now older than your mom ever was you know, it it does Courtney but I still talk to her and I still see her the way that she was at that point in time. I think that's probably another benefit to dying young as you do never get old and when I talked to her when I think of the places that I've traveled in the things that I've done in my life and I think about her and I think she would love to be here and then I think we'll you know what she is. So I think in that respect, you know

01:59 Baby for her dying young was blessing. Is there particular times when you talk to her and what do you say I think what I'm doing something special that I know that she would love she never had a lot of money. She never got to travel a lot. She did travel a little bit but she when I go someplace and is you know, when we've got places cuz we've done a lot of traveling together when I go someplace Hawaii was a very special place to her. That's where she lived for about eight years of her life. And before she came back to the mainland to help me take care of you for a while, but I'm on Kauai. I feel very close to her when I went to Alaska Purchase where she died when we went up there my sister and I I felt very close to her usually is outdoors. And when we went to Europe is something that I know she would have loved to have done. It is something I would have loved to have been able to give her, you know, but like I said in retrospect I look at

02:59 I think she was there. She was there with us when we went. How did she get the nickname lady? That's Ashley. It came from your father my ex-husband your dad and I started going together phone. We were 17 and he was very awkward calling her. Mrs. Davis all the time and it just didn't seem appropriate again being the type of person that she was she was never formal. It was never anything that you know, she liked and one day. I don't know what I don't know where we were or what we were doing and your dad said, you know lady and instead of calling her mrs. Davis instead of calling her Maryland and all of a sudden stuck. And from there on I worked with my mom at several different jobs. I worked with her at a department store when I was 17 18, and then again when we were in Hawaii for a little while and you know, I ended up calling her lady half the time rather than Mom.

03:59 It just became something that was there you when you were little used to call Reggie lady.

04:07 What is your first memory of her?

04:11 Probably our summers at Priest Lake. I can't tell you exactly what age I was but I would say maybe 5 or 6. We're stuck up there. She didn't work my dad on to paint store and his father was retired and his dad used to call Pop and my mom and pop would take us when I was little and then actually after my younger sister was born there ended up being four of us kids, but we will go up to like for all summer and we would camp for three months solid and my mom and pop would be there and then my dad would come up on the weekend and he either bring us food or bring his clean clothes or whatever, but we would stay there all summer long and I remember my mom used to camp at the top of the hill and it was probably about a 23 foot drop to down for the beach was and pretty steep trail and I have visions of her when she was pregnant with Callie who's at younger 8 years younger than I am my youngest sister.

05:11 How much was pregnant going up and down that beach look at that time? They didn't have maternity wear anything and she would used to wear this halter top and shorts and her stomach would stick out and everybody in the campground newest because she was she was she was you and she didn't care who saw her and she was usually about the most tanned person there, but we would go up and down to the beach and we'd spend our summer there and check the summer. She had Kali Kali was born in August light in August. We were up there until like August 15th and Kelly was born on the 26th, but that was the way she was that was you know, where she was happiest. So what's your what's your vividus memory of her like the thing when you think about her that sticks out?

06:00 Her smile and her laugh

06:03 Definitely what a wonderful person. She was people gravitated towards her and they like to be around her. She never had much in the way of money, you know, she only had a high school education, but she was probably one of the nicest people and the most likeable people that I've ever known.

06:24 Do you have any favorite stories about her about her?

06:30 The one that I remember is I'm or not necessarily. Remember. I remember when grandma died going through her possessions you guys found an eviction notice from one of the places you've been evicted from my middle sister who is 4 years younger than I am Chris my parents. My father was an alcoholic. So when I was 17 my Mom finally even though there were four of us kids still at home. She finally kicked him out, which I think was probably the best thing that she could have done in the circumstances, but she was left taking care of all four of us and we could keep the house that we lived in so she sold the house we moved into an apartment. My brother actually was able to go away to college at that time. So it was my mom and my two sisters and myself and my middle sister Chris who is the brightest of all of us kids and probably had more potential than anybody else I've ever known.

07:28 For some reason never used it and she was always the party or always the one my mom work for department store and she would go on buying trips and it seems like every time she came back we had to move to a different place because Chris got us kicked out. So we lived within a period of about five years. We lived in three or four different apartments during that. Of time. So, yeah, that's that's probably one of the most of the ones you are in high school during that other high schoolers around you or that they gave you a different perspective. You know, it did it didn't I went to McClatchy high school that you're familiar with and the composite of the students at McClatchy is probably the same today as it was back. Then there's some very wealthy families. There are also some families without a whole lot of money and I worked from the time.

08:28 I was 14 or 15. So I ended up having my own car. I was able to buy a lot of things myself. So I didn't feel like I was weird or or that you know, I couldn't do the same things as as other kids did because I was able to supplement my income and you know what I was always extremely proud of my mom in that day and age taking care for children by yourself. I think it was a feat in itself. It really was see if you said that she like to travel tell me about taking vacations with her when you guys were all together and young we didn't have a lot of money. We took one camping trip, which actually involves your dad's parents your other grandma because they also wants they meant my mom. They also realized how unique she was and how special person and we should go camping with camping at Big Sur one time and my mom borrowed

09:25 Your dad's parents tent in order to go and what would happen is Julie. My brother wasn't involved. So it was my mom and us three girls and we would go to the campground and all of a sudden every man in the campground would be helping us set up our tent. He asked me if there's anything they could do to help us if you don't or whatever so our experiences with doing that were always fun and very nice people would ask us aren't you afraid to do stuff alone? And it's like no it again. I think that was that. Of time there wasn't the type of issues that we have now, so we would pack up and go camping on a Sunday. It was not unusual having again. My mom used to work 6 days a week. So on Sunday, we would pack up and get into whatever car it was. She had at that time and we go up to the mill Columbia River find a nice little water hole. We packed sandwiches or whatever and do something that didn't cost, you know anything at all other than the gas in.

10:25 Car we drive up to the wine country not stop at any of the wineries cuz we couldn't afford it. But I drive around and see that we quite often would get up early in the morning drive up to Lake Tahoe for the day, but mainly things that really didn't didn't cost anything yet their memories that I'll always have that are ranked pretty pretty high on the totem pole as far as things that I remember about. My mom. Are there any story she's to tell you guys about her childhood. Do you want to tear she was adopted? I don't think her childhood was

11:02 Really good, if you want to say good makes you think that hurt the people that adopted her actually, her step-sister was a nurse at the hospital and her her adoptive parents were very old. So when she was young and they were very strict. So when she was growing up they were almost like grandparents to her and I think they had adopted her because of her stepsisters like working at the hospital having seen this child that didn't have a home or whatever and while you're drunk nice, so I think it was just there was a disc, you know, and I think it's something that later on in her life because of that it's one of the reasons she was probably so close to us as her as our kids because of having that disconnect with her parents.

11:49 Do you remember any other stories of our childhood anything that sticks out? She was born in Canada? She doesn't really

11:57 Yeah, she never really talked about it a whole lot. I know that they were on a more of a they lived in more of a rural area and should we would choose to want to hide from her parents should climb up the apple tree and hide what she could do because they could never find her. They wouldn't be out, you know the locator at at their age or whatever, but she said she used to do that quite often go hide probably the only other thing I remember real vividly when we were little is she we had a dog by the name of Duke that we just have to carry up and down stairs because he got arthritis so bad, but he came from the farm where she had been raised and he used to work there with the cattle and sheep both and she brought him home after used tools to do that and cute shoes to shave him in the summertime, Sophie.

12:49 Looked awful, but he get hot and go hide. He wouldn't work on the ranch because he hit you know, he'd be too hot but I've asked that's one that she told me and Ashley that wasn't really that long ago on her childhood, but it impacted us his children. Is there anything you remember about her in terms of peccadilloes? Either that thing she wore think she ate just funny things that she did that you remember? Oh, yeah. She used to eat dill pickle and peanut butter sandwiches. Yeah, that was one of her unique things. She would eat almost anything. She's like you should like pizza for breakfast.

13:26 So I think that's something you inherited from her. I think she very easily could have been a vegetarian like you are in this day and age. She loved her beer and on Kauai she would get the boiled peanuts and she would take your cousin Christopher to the beach with her and he would go play on the beach and she was there to sit there and drink our beer in either peanuts. So I think from unique characteristics. Yes. What was or what has been the hardest thing about losing her?

14:02 I miss I miss her I miss her friendship I missed.

14:08 There's so many things she would have liked to have done and that she would have enjoyed and I miss being able to provide that for her because I can before she died. I was able to take her and your other Grandma number of times and we took trips together your to Grandma's and you and me and we went up the coast to Mendocino. Mom was also able to come when I took the job with Columbia for I was traveling back and forth to Southern California. She came up stayed at the house which provided her an opportunity. She actually went over to City College took some art classes in to do some traveling. Otherwise. She wouldn't be able to do on her own and also gave her an opportunity to spend some time with you which again is kind of unique in her last year that she was with us that she got to have that time with you and me.

14:58 So I'm you think you're different now than before you lost her.

15:04 Absolutely. I think that I appreciate more. I think that when I travel I look at it not only through my eyes, but I look at it through her eyes certainly living on Kauai which was one of her favorite places on Earth. I think that that probably maybe one of the reasons that I ended up going there after I retired was to have that because it was so special and unique to her. So I think definitely she has had an impact on who I am and how I behave

15:39 Is there a something about lady that you think nobody else knows?

15:44 That you'd be willing to share.

15:51 You know, I don't think that there's nothing that I wouldn't share about her, but I can't think of anything. That would be a secret or anything like that.

16:02 She's a pretty open book. She's pretty open book. Yes, I would say that definitely definitely.

16:08 Do you mind if we switch and talk about?

16:11 I was wondering if you could just describe what your mother looks like to someone who's never met her. My mom was about five foot three. She had light brown hair that she highlighted most of her life. It was very her hair was very thin. In fact as children. She used to bribe us and we could stay up late if we brushed your hair. So it was part of the rigmarole. She was a pretty lady. She was not then not heavy until probably a little later on in her life. She a little beer belly. But like I said, I think most people would probably classify her as being as being attractive smile lines never any sort of frown lines inner, but I'm like I said, I think in her in her own right a very attractive person

17:08 I remember her wearing a lot of muumuus and a lot of bright colors. Was that something just later in life or is that kind of she always had tended towards brighter? No, I think that was Hawaii. I stayed at the at the point of time that we that she was living over there. It was still I mean today than this age people don't wear moves that much or anything. But over at that point in time absolute people were a lot of the bright colors and everything and I think she ain't she enjoyed that that's remember her having relatively Brighton Jewelry compared to my other Grandma who is very conservative taste. I always felt like my grandma Davis had very

17:49 That she was very very much her own person when she moved to Hawaii, of course, she was single actually she funny story about moving there because I graduated from college. I wasn't ready to settle down I was going with your father on and off at the time and my middle sister was in Hawaii and I went over there and hitchhiked which was very unlike me. Something I would normally do in this day and age but back then it was okay and loved it so much Mom ended up going over and visiting and she packed up and decided she was going over there. So at the time your father and I got married within months she was over there, too.

18:35 And it was one of those things of you know, what I like it. I like it over here. I think I'm going to you know, go over here and it was it was a lifestyle is very conducive to the type of person that she was physically do you feel like there's anything with your two sisters and you and Grandma where that is really like a unifying thing that makes you guys all look similar similar Callie and I and Mom all look alike. I think Chris was a throwback to another generation. She had freckles she had real light blond hair. Very fair skin. I always accuse Lady of being maybe part Indian because she had this real Jesse's real dark tan in the summertime really easy to tan that type of thing and Chris wasn't like that at all. So if you looked at it, she would definitely know that I was her daughter. Are you definitely know that Kelly was her daughter one of the things I remember is the picture of the four of you guys. Can you can you describe that because I do feel like in that picture of the three of you just almost look like sisters.

19:35 Kelly's husband at the time was a had a photo studio on Kauai and mom was living there. I went over to visit and we were fooling around at the photo studio and there were all three of us girls and Mom and Mom, sometimes people used to say she looked kind of like Marilyn Monroe get away with not this the bleach blonde hair, but with that with a facial features and everything and my sister's husband Johnny had a a boa one of the feather boas and his in his photo studio and we started playing around. I think one of Kelly's babies was a sick or whatever and we were trying to get him to be quiet or whatever and and we were in the photo studio fooling around and we took the boa and start wrapping around us and pretty soon. We took our tops and we can take them off but we took him down and we had and Johnny start taking pictures and there's a picture of all three of us in a row with Bear show.

20:35 Folders with authority all four of us with the boa across us and like you said very much Kelly and Mom and I could all be actually sisters in at mom did not look anything didn't look her age at all. Yeah, but yes, it's one of my favorite pictures of mine, too.

20:58 So I'm going to switch and talk about you. Okay, but if that's okay with you, so where did you grow up? And I'll what was it like I was born in Spokane, Washington.

21:10 And probably pretty normal Spokane have snow in the winter time so I can remember from my earliest days when we went to school. We used to have to work didn't have the cool Gore-Tex and all the stuff. They are nowadays. We put leggings on and of course all of the girls had to wear dresses at that point in time. So we have leggings are dresses than our coat over the top and then our mittens and then our hats and everything. So it was quite an ordeal to get ready to go to school. We lived on the southside of Spokane and they're quite a few Hills. My mom used to ice skating lessons from the time. I was I don't know two years old on my mom is to freeze the backyard and we had a terrorist in the backyard and she used to freeze the whole lawn and then freeze part of the Terrace. So we had a Runway that we could come down and then it was the entertainment center for the hole for the whole neighborhood and everybody everybody enjoyed the guys who played hockey we could figure skate. Whatever.

22:10 First and then come inside and have hot chocolate and roast marshmallows afterwards, but she was probably it's the only place in the neighborhood. The only house that I remember, you know, where we did anything like that and everybody would end up congregating over there to do it. So it was it was it was fun and it was unique. That's one of my memories again that I have is her special at that time and that age the one of the things my brother got caught for is we used to when the cars would come down the hill we used to just think we're it you'd get behind the car and if they had to stop at the stop sign you get up because behind a car and you grab the back center of the car and when the roads were covered with snow Yeah smart thing to do, but we got caught a number of times and the police used to bring my brother home quite regularly, but we moved when between 6th grade when I was between 6th grade and 7th grade my

23:10 Dad had paint store and the business was not doing well and he closed closed the thing and thought he had a better opportunity in California. So we ended up moving to Sacramento and I think that's the time we're actually because of the failure of his store other issues that were involved. I think he started drinking quite heavily and just never got away from that. My mom had never worked until that time and when we moved to California, she ended up having to to go to work and in order to supplement income in the my dad ended up losing his job and eventually moving out but

23:50 Starting Junior High School, which is scary at that point in my life because you know your brand new into a new school system. Every time I said that it was like I said, I you know, I like school Android school. I always excelled at it. It was it was great. So my the rest of my time was spent in Sacramento, I ended up graduating from Luther Burbank High School and then went on to go to Sacramento State which is now what Sacramento State at California University or whatever they call it. It was I slept through part of my high school because I didn't go to school. I got good grades, but I ended up I hated it because I went to my first year which is wonderful. I love McClatchy and then while they were building Burbank, they made us go half sessions at Hiram Johnson. So we have course had the afternoon session.

24:50 I have the morning session. So it was a split. It was a very weird way and you ended up you had these people from McClatchy. You handed people from Hiram Johnson that we're going to Burbank but yet you weren't there yet cuz you didn't have a physical facility and then my senior year has been at Burbank and like I said, it wasn't that I hated school. I just really didn't like a watch. Do you think enjoying the class tri-factor than it all to you letting me go to school there? Cuz I remember when I was in eighth grade, there was a very big debate about whether or not I'd go to public school or private school. It was it was very large but I think the determination with that Courtney was made by you basically and I remember to The Stave what you said and you said, you know Mom it's the real world. You can't protect me from that. This is the way the world is I need to learn how to cope and how to deal with it. And as a parent there wasn't a whole lot I can say it is very valid and very true and but we did have some condition.

25:50 And the conditions is that you maintain to be average and you were also in some of the accelerated classes. So I think with that having that there I think that your education that you got there and you received a wonderful education. How did you meet my dad? I barely missed City College. I after I got out of high school and mind you this was a time. Let's say 1964. I graduated from high school probably.

26:24 Only two of the other people that I graduated with that I knew went on to go to college. The rest of them have them had dropped out and gun pregnant when they were 16 or 17 and for me it was a it was a task in a chore because my mom certainly couldn't afford to send me anywhere. So basically I went to school three days of work week and I work 4 days a week, but I Met Your Dad at city college a friend of mine that I had known before introduced us in the library and I had told my friend your dad's name is she knows Oscar and I said when he told me that there was this guy that wanted to meet me and his name is Oscar's I don't know what no, sorry. No, I don't want to be down now and I don't know forget it because your neighbor said he looks a lot more like an OJ that he did like an Oscar.

27:15 What's your favorite memory of him?

27:18 Tell me the times we went skiing which type downhill in the summer time and it probably that giving me the opportunity to do some of those things that I had never done before and both water skiing and snow skiing and as you know, when we moved back from Hawaii, that's the first thing we did was by boat so we could water-ski but I think the snow skiing when we were in college doing that and I'm staying up a daughter like with his parents that type of thing was was really enjoyable. When did you find out you were going to be a parent? And how did you feel?

28:03 Actually, we waited a long time your dad and I got married when I was 23. I'm aware that we were the same age and we waited to have you until I was 32 and Ashley was it was pretty much planned. I've been taking birth control all that time. And of course they told us at that point with the birth control is going to take at least a year or two before we got pregnant and was in the first months pregnant. But like I said, so you were we did a lot of traveling we did a lot of the things we wanted to do before you were born. So as far as a pair of I was I was definitely ready I would have had 12 if I'd stayed married. I love I love kids. I love having that at that point in my life. I've done a lot of traveling been around. I think I have the patience for it in the knack for it. I'm just sorry the marriage didn't work out so they have anymore but I have a few other things. You've always told me that you guys were happier divorced then you would have been married.

29:03 Oh, absolutely. Absolutely in the beginning. I don't think that was true. But I think in the end, I think we wanted different things, you know and

29:14 The personalities just didn't work at the end. I wanted more in my life and more what?

29:24 Warding able to be myself more being able to grow and expand your dad pretty much just wanted some it was going to look go along with whatever was he wanted to do. Nobody that was going to Buck the system or do anything different and I grew into a person that couldn't do that. What are the the hardest moments you had when I was growing up.

29:50 You know, you were really a pretty easy kid what I listen to all the stories of my friends and everybody else around I was I've been very very fortunate and I don't know if that's because you were the person you are I'm the person I am I think it's probably a little of both. Do you have a favorite memory of me of you? I have a number of them. I have one of them we came back your dad and I had gone to Yosemite and left you with Grandma and Grandpa with with your dad's parents and came back and I have a picture of you coming out of the bathroom with the roll of toilet paper completely wrapped around your entire body with this huge smile. I have another memory of you when you were dying is 6 months old and actually the memory was after the fact because your father called me when you were in the emergency room. Basically, he had put you in the car and he shut your finger in the door.

30:50 And him being in the drug pharmaceutical business. He ran across the street got the neighbor made Mike come over Mike drove you guys to the emergency room and your Dad held your finger on and he called me after it was all done and they stitched your finger back on and the doctor said you were going to be okay. I actually still have a scar from nausea stay. So that's probably another very vivid memory.

31:13 The when you have fell off your bicycle when you were I think about 11 years old. I wasn't in town. I wasn't working in Southern California the time and your dad called me and told me you'd fallen off the bicycle and had a concussion or in the hospital. So the difficult time with getting back because of the time lapse and doing that and because we shared custody and you went every other week week at your dad's in a week at my house doing that and then trying to get back in time so that I could be with you. It's a feeling of helplessness something that you don't want to have you'd rather anything happen to yourself and to your child. Is there anything about raising me you would have done differently if you could in retrospect

31:56 No, no, I don't think so either. I think you're wonderful. I think that I'm very fortunate in that these things that I felt more important in life and the things that I wanted to instill in you you were receptive to and saw I know we've discussed this before I you're doing some of the things that I couldn't do because I was so involved in trying to have a roof over our head and providing education for you and stuff like that and you've had the opportunity to not only get the education that you wanted. But then to give back a lot of the stuff what you do with adapter ski school, you know, I'm I'm very proud of the things that you done from that perspective that I didn't, you know, I've had little opportunity last couple years with volunteering at the Humane Society and stuff like that and my job's a little bit with being in the lending business in helping people, you know uptain house. Is that type of thing.

32:56 Like I said, I think that in raising you you had to abide by two sets of Standards cuz you're with your dad's a week and you were my house all week. So you were an only child when you were with me. You had two other siblings when you were at your dad's so you had some challenges that you had to deal with but I think for my part one of the things that I always / and I think you have told me that it's benefits. She is I never spoke poorly of your father during that time no matter what my feelings were or anything else, you know, and I always told you if he's if your ear his house you got to talk to him about it if it's a problem if it's here I can take care of it and work with you on it, but I think it's made you a stronger person by doing that.

33:44 Are there are there any ways that your life has been different than what you imagined? It would be like, oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I think I'd that I figured when I got out of high school and got out of college. I figured I would be married for the rest of my life. I figured I would probably have you know, at least three or four kids like my mom did I visualize myself as a stay-at-home mom, you know, that's very surprising to hear because you had such a successful career. I can't really imagine you being anything but a very successful business woman and that was I think because of the necessity at the time cuz basically I started my career at age 40

34:25 You know what doing that because when we went through the divorce all of my money anything that I had ever earned previous that was all of our play money and so I had never started for 1ks or IRAs or any of that type of thing and keeping the house and having that type of thing was was a huge priority at that time the fact I don't know if you remember right after we got divorced, but I'm going to the grocery store. I mean there were times when I wrote checks and I didn't have the money in the bank.

34:57 But we go to the grocery store and see Mom. Can I have this mom? Can I have that might know we don't have money in the bank Courtney that time we didn't have ATMs but we go to the store then the next time and you'd go mom. Do we have money in the bank?

35:11 If we did I say yes, if we did not say no, but I mean there were a couple of years of that with that before we were able. I was able to get a point in my career for it on my financial worries were not Monumental. So we're winding down with our time as is there anything that you've never told me that you want to tell me now?

35:36 Oh.

35:39 No, I think I think that.

35:46 It probably pretty much goes with my philosophy of being you know, there's never a time when we don't talk on the phone that I don't tell you. I love you because I never I mean, you know, it could be because the way my mom died it could be the last time that it wherever and I would hate to have something happen where it would be on a bad note. Think about that to actually there's times when I stay up at night because one of my greater worries is that something will happen to you in Hawaii and I won't get to see you before you go and it's kind of irrational because you know, they're so much of the world you can't control but more than losing my partner or having a poor career. I worry about not getting to see you before you die. And it's it's something that's why it's so important whenever you you do like I said that whenever any phone conversation, I never end an email and you don't either without saying I love you because it's there.

36:39 Is there any advice or anything else that you want to give to me, or do you want to say?

36:46 No, I think you've grown. I think you've grown into an astonishing person. I think you probably could be a little more.

36:56 Not giving but a little more lenient and and some of the ways you pretty stubborn. I don't know where I got that. But I think I think that but as far as the advice, you know be a good person what you are already, you know, your ethical you're truthful to yourself you give back, you know, you're concerned about the world and what's happening to it. I think in this day and age, there's too many young people that aren't so, you know, I think you've had the opportunity and I think you could feel good about yourself with doing that. So as far as advice no, no, is there anything that you've always wanted to ask me that you've never been able to ask green ever feel like you want to ask me now. So I think that I think our relationship has always been such that there's never been anything, you know, I've tried to be as open as possible and you know, we've had our arguments we've gotten you know upset with everything but I think that we

37:56 Through what we've learned we've been able to work through that and and I thought you never say anything and anger, you know walk away from the situation if that's the case because it hurts too much. So I think I think the lessons are there things that I had to learn over. Of years you had the advantage of having those lessons earlier in life. But like I said, I think that I am I'm happy. I was talking to somebody at work the other day and they were talking about he he said made the statement. He says, you know, what is same age as I am as one of the attorneys in Augusta tomorrow, I'm fine. I've had a wonderful wonderful life.

38:36 And not that I want to go tomorrow because I want to be around but but I think that that's the case. There's nothing I regret. There's nothing I take back, you know, I haven't done anything that I can remember that I know that I feel sorry for anything like that was doing that. So I would want to say something you've already heard that you're the most important person in my life. You're one of my best friends and I'm and I'm thankful all of the time for all of the opportunity that you've been able to provide me cuz here now that you know, you would have rather been it's a stay-at-home mom. It's an interesting thing to hear because I've never really envisioned you that way. I I always remember you working really really hard and because of doing that I'm able to work really hard but in a field that I absolutely love which a lot of people don't have those opportunities and I don't take any of them for granted. I appreciate every single one of them that you that you've given me.

39:36 So your expectations are never there. That's one of the reasons I'm able to give is because of the way you are with it. I think if it was an expectation on your half, I probably would not be that but like I said, I think it's it. It's mutual SE prepara fortunate. I don't think there are a lot of people around that have those kind of relationships and is something to be cherished. You know, I really really feel that I feel I'm I'm very lucky and very fortunate that you know that we've developed that kind of relationship. I've had it for a long time. Will thank you for coming to do this with me Mom. Thank you for asking me and him here. I love you. I love you, too.