Nancy Scheidegger and Nick Scheidegger

00:04 My name is Mick Jagger. I am 46 today is October 22nd 2011. We're in Denver Colorado and I am the Sun.

00:17 I am nasty shy dagger. I am 84 b85 in February. The date is October 22nd 2011. I live in Denver Colorado and I am the mother and the wife.

00:38 So

00:40 Mommy I told you a little bit about our our discussion today on the way here and I said we talked a little bit about you but a little bit more about Dad I know how you and Dad met each other. That was Jack and Elsie he introduced you but I've never really heard how you knew he was the guy

01:07 It is it strange. I didn't know he was a guy from The Almost for the minute. I met him. I just felt very comfortable with him. He just

01:17 Seem very calm. We just seemed to hit it off. We just seem like we've known each other for a long time. We were able to talk very easy with each other. She listen to me not everybody would always listen to me, but he did he seem to be interested in what I had to say and I loved what he had to say. It just seemed like we had a lot in common. We like the same things.

01:49 I just fell in love with him just almost from the minute we met and then we are he'd reached out and took my hand and I grabbed ahold of his and he said, you know, you feel like you're never going to let go and I said, I don't think I ever want to and I remember that about our him holding my hand, but I'd have to say that's how I knew I'd this was the one that I wanted while he was a smooth move. He he definitely knew how to

02:20 How to play a play the cards right? I also never heard about how how how did he propose to you?

02:31 I don't remember exactly. I don't know if we he ever actually proposed. We just left we've been going together for a while. We just knew we are going to get married. I don't.

02:46 He said well, I thought you knew that we were going to get married. I think it one time something like that that we are through talk to talking about plan on things we want to do and he said Willie said first we've got to get married and that's that's exactly how we did.

03:04 We were married by a Justice of the Peace. Probably they don't have that anymore. But that's what we are married by and Jack and Elsie. Where are stand up people for us.

03:16 What's your favorite memory of Dad?

03:23 My favorite memory, is there so many.

03:35 I asleep one time.

03:38 One time I didn't have time to put any makeup on. We are getting ready to go out and I apologize to him for it. And he said he said you don't need any makeup. You're beautiful without any and so I never wore any makeup after that.

03:55 That's enough. I thought he liked me just the way I was and the I think.

04:01 I guess that's one of the things that was so important. He took me just for who I was.

04:08 Dad's always been kind of quiet a little bit reserved. I think you would tell me that would be words to kind of describe Dad. When did you first realize that maybe beginning to have memory issues? When was there a point in which you realize that maybe something was was happening there.

04:29 Will when we be driving around he wasn't sure about Wednesday if he was turning the right way and read asked me. Have we been here before? He gets turned around when you go someplace. He'd be he thought he'd be going One Direction and I corrected mourir. You should go the other way. I think that was probably the first time I noticed that something was wrong.

04:58 Just just things like that.

05:04 Probably how many years ago it seemed like it happened very quick.

05:12 Maybe about four years ago, maybe five years ago.

05:19 And I know that that Dad either had a small stroke or something happened about three years ago, and that actually kind of changed our lives a little bit.

05:33 We had to move Dad out to the veterans home and we found a great facility for him. He he seems really really happy. There were very happy with his care. Mom. Tell me how your life has changed. Now. What what is different about your life?

05:50 Well, I have to go see him instead of waking up and finding him sitting on the couch on the couch rustic take kitchen table drinking coffee. I have to go out and see him which I don't mind. I'm so glad that I'm able to see you made it possible for me to take you have to have a bus ride out there cuz I take accessory which makes it a lot easier for me to get around eye.

06:22 I guess that's it.

06:27 That you you you spent you got you guys been married for 46 years. That's a that's a long time to be with someone. So you told me that just now that that you don't wake up next to him and you don't find him at home on the couch. What are some of the other little things that you miss about Dad?

06:53 Well, I guess just being able to have a regular conversation with him or tell him about the problems. We're having or sharing things with us. Like I tell him but I'm not sure he understands what I'm saying. Just being able to talk to him. Like I have been it seems like we used to do a lot of getting up getting dressed going someplace. We did a lot of things together. We we

07:24 We still like to visit with people. We are one of the things we've gone to the same church for almost 46 years and not being able to go to church with them that that makes a big difference. I wasn't able to go to church because he wasn't with me for a long time, but I'm back to church now and I'm going pretty regular but I missed him not sitting next to me at church a lot.

07:56 If you could use three words to describe dad, what would those words be?

08:03 Loving

08:06 Understanding patient

08:12 He definitely was very patient. He was.

08:16 Hit the patience of a saint so heat he's doing so good right now and I I'm I'm excited about just

08:27 How he is doing the other night. I don't know if I shared with you he was I was saying goodbye and I said

08:39 Dad, I love you. And he without even missing a beat. He said yeah, I love me to which I thought was kind of funny, but I I'm I'm glad that he's where he's at and then I'm glad that you're able to go see him because I know that's important to him and that when when he's there, he's he's asking about you and and he's missing you.

09:05 But he's getting wonderful care and we've made so many wonderful friends out. There sees her his friends and he's gotten so very used to him. He likes he likes being there. I think that he would miss it if he wasn't there really right now. I think he really would but he's his care is for so special all the nurses and the CNAs at take care of them seem like they take special care with him. I don't know it's not true, but it just seems like it.

09:36 But it's a neat Place. We've met some of the other residents and their husbands or wives and made some wonderful friendships 2.

09:49 I look forward to going to see him and to see the other ones too. Because after I go pee in there as long as we have we we get that so we know the other residents and we know why they're there and we know what their problems are and we've gotten so we care about all the residents out there too. And it's kind of sad when they go you kind of miss them.

10:21 Can you tell me about maybe a couple of the other special people that stick out in your mind?

10:28 Nurses Roberts is his name and I don't even know his last name. He's just Robert since he's been there ever since we started but he made us feel so welcome Millie. It's another one. She's one of the nurses. Those are the two really special people that too. But each one of the CNAs all of them have all all the CNAs I've gotten so, you know them personally and a lot of their problems they seem to care about you wouldn't eat when you see him you your hug them because they're rare especially that you feel like they're your family. They are part of your family out there now, so I think they they they know his little idiosyncrasies. They know what how he ticks what make what works what doesn't work that seems to be upset when someone raises their voice or kids allowed.

11:28 That they know that about him already. So they try to alleviate those situations don't like surprises surprises.

11:39 Can I go back a little bit when you were talking about first meeting him first meeting your husband. How did you meet? Where were you and how old are you? We had a mutual friend Jack NLC. My husband aren't he? He worked with the jack at the gate River Company. That's one of the bigger companies in Denver hear what one time and I was living in the same apartment that checking else he lived in and

12:12 They knew that Arch live by himself a new that I more or less was I had two daughters that I had with me but some they just decided that these two people should meet and so they invited us to their house where they invited him separately and they invited me to come over and play cards with him sometime. And so this they introduced us and I think that the

12:40 We just hit it off right away Jack and Elsie seemed to know that they were something about us that we should be together and they were so right.

12:52 We spent a lot of time with them these like I say they stood up for us when he got married.

13:01 Lego sets

13:05 Part of what was the weather like?

13:07 We were married at a justice of the peace. That was it all been planned Jack and Elsie had the date they went with us and then afterwards we went back to their apartment and them they are headed by to some of our friends and we just visited they had they serve food and all.

13:28 And that was

13:32 It was just a very very and it wasn't a big wedding nothing huge like so many people do but it was a nice one with a lot of our good friends around us.

13:46 My husband I think he was probably one of the handsomest man I ever met. I didn't just fall in love. This looks although he he was so handsome. I just

14:00 Just fell in love with him his his whole thing. I just he's not the same height. I am I think he was a little tall taller than I was and they played music and we danced I love dancing with him because he had his arms around me and it felt so good.

14:21 What song is this dance to we like listening to?

14:28 The man

14:31 I Left My Heart in San Francisco. I can't think of the guy that did that.

14:38 What's his name? 20?

14:41 Tony Bennett and

14:46 Here he did. Another recording love is better the second time around and so if everytime art and I would go any place or they had to shoot boxes and we would always play that one song cuz we definitely agreed love is better the second time around at least it was for us.

15:06 YouTube. Married before very very happy married just for either one of us.

15:14 And it was just kind of amazing help Jack and I'll send you that I had said I would never get married again, and I guess our hit said the very same thing to them and that.

15:28 They thought this isn't going to happen. They've got to meet and so they introduced us.

15:45 I guess we'll I just met him and he seemed to be.

15:51 He listened to me if he was interested in what I had to say. I didn't have that so much with my first Mary's he was he liked me for what I was he didn't pick me apart. He just like the person that was sitting there in front of him.

16:11 Kia didn't want me to change you wanted me to be just exactly what I was right there.

16:18 He seemed so he fell in love with that was in front of him. Just like I fell in love with him with ice. All right in front of me.

16:27 Eastchester so beautiful. It was just a mutual thing tell me about so you guys had your definitely in love then you had this little boy tell me about that experience and tell me a little bit about when I was born in what happened you you tell me a little bit about that how how proud he was but it was probably one of the most important days of his life his first marriage. No, he didn't have children I had girls and when I found out that I was pregnant he was he was probably one of the happiest man that was living at that time, but and he said he said he said, you know, he said I hope it's a little boy, but he said I'll take either and

17:20 But between him and his family, they had it all planned that it was going to be a boy. They didn't get any saved by little things for me for the for the baby, but everything was blue. Everything was blue his

17:36 My mother-in-law is she made a beautiful quilt and it was blue. She made a pillow and it was blue. Everything was blue then I got so I don't know the little girl would have worn off lot of blue, but the day he was born. He had we been at the hospital for quite a long time and when he

18:03 And I think they ended up having to because it had been such a long a

18:09 The long deliveries that they had finally put me out. But when I woke up there was Art standing in front of me and he just reached down and hugged me and said thank you. He said we have a little boy in this year's it is so it's so happy.

18:29 It was like I say, I think it was one of his happiest days because I think he's always wanted a little boy. He's watched his sister's getting married. He had the he had five sisters and he saw them with all their baby. So I guess if he bit me in the youngest one.

18:47 This is what was he was looking forward to us being a father and having a little boy was just

18:54 Just almost too good to be true for him. He was so happy to have that little boy. He said that when he when he gets big enough. He said I want to take him hunting with me.

19:10 I don't know if I ever went hunting with Dad. I don't think you did. I don't think I think he kind of lost interest in it after a while. He just stabbed. I think he got to want to spend more time with his family and not take off and do those things like that. He just wanted to

19:26 And we did a lot of things. We did a lot of things started taking you camping when you were 3 months old and

19:38 We go. Probably not too far.

19:43 Dillon Reservoir with a place that we went camping a lot we got so he's knew that place by heart. It wasn't far from here. It was a beautiful place and we could always catch fish. Sometimes we go fishing with the inlaws both his mine and we go to different places. I think one of our favorite places was Chambers Lake it was right out of columns, and he was just a baby when we go there while he'd be all wrapped up in a blanket either be holding him in my lap with him in my lap and one hand and the fishing pole in the other and I remember when I caught my first fish I couldn't yellow we happy because he was sound asleep and I didn't want to wake him up but said we had a lot of fun going fishing and just camping hiking around we would we got to the place where we are visiting forts. You remember when we visit

20:43 All those forts. I don't think we missed any of them and that we were interested in what happened in Colorado early days, and I think you took a special interest in that to Nick.

20:57 What are your favorite memories of?

21:00 He was he was very quiet but he was always willing to do whatever I got involved with we were in Cub Scouts and then we blows and then Boy Scouts together. I remember waking up with with frost on my boots some mornings in on a camping trip, and I know Dad was just chattering his teeth for just chattering and he was waiting for the coffee and I know he was cold, but he still he still came with us on our camp out sand and was always very active in my life. He he was just somebody that I looked up to he was on

21:38 He and still and I still do I mean he he was probably and I and I I would say the same about mom. They were they were great parents. I think I was brought up. I think I wouldn't be able to deal with a lot of things that are going on right now with Dad and having him at a at the veterans home without just having been brought up by an incredible her parents.

22:05 Who do you think about that? I agree with you? I agree with you whether it was school or church anything that the neck was involved in we got involved in. We are interested in everything that he did my girls were growing pretty much so then and so it was most of our attention.

22:28 But he he don't like to don't talk about it, but he has beautiful voice and he was in some musicals as a different schools and I used to get so excited. I was so proud of him because because if he had such a beautiful voice, I love to hear him sing and

22:50 Do all the things he took an active part at the church. We went to he was he even got to the place where he was helping other children when they were in programs when he got a little older he was leading them the younger children and being helping them with their programs that they were in and black Department in all the church and school. We are always pretty active and everything you did.

23:21 What was it like for you when you heard about when you heard about your father's diagnosis? Well, I was there the day that that we mom called and he was on the side of the bed and he was not responsive and kind of a scary day for all of us. We weren't sure what was going on. We we are called the the paramedics 911 and and they came to the house and one of the one of the nice things is that we have a few guys that we know at the local Firehouse that that we know very well one guy Zack goes to the same church as my parents and he was I don't know if he was there that day get her there a couple issues when we had to call an ambulance but the the day about three years ago or so. I know it's it was either him or maybe OD that was

24:19 I was at the house and I'll just having them there and stuff and just assuring us and they said well we weave will get him to the hospital right away. And I know that we were in the hospital for a while. We weren't sure what was going on. We didn't know that there was going to be a full recovery. We didn't know what what our future held and gradually I think over time. He he became better and better what he did he

24:45 Starting learning to eat a little bit better and we were mentally able to get him through Rehabilitation and bring him home and and we went through that a few times would I think about three times and all and until we finally realize that it's it. It was quite a bit of work his his memory loss was creating issues where he was confused about what room was wide and he wasn't sure where the bathroom was or where to go and and we have to put alarms up and make sure that we were always aware of his what he was up to.

25:19 Kind of got to be a little bit much I think for Mom and we finally decided that we needed to get him someplace where he would be safe. And well taken care of. I was told my parents that I never wanted them to be in a nursing home and probably one of the toughest decisions but looking back now, I know that dad's in a really good place and he's got great care and he's established some friendships with some of the guys out there and he seems to be very happy. I was asking are you happy and he says he out

25:49 He seems very happy every now and then he'll ask to go home and I'll always tell him I'll say Dad if if if you come home with me, then when Mom comes tomorrow, she's not going to know where you're at. She might be a little bit lost. Is it okay if you go ahead and stay here tonight, and maybe we'll go home tomorrow and he'll say if my wife's coming. It's going to be okay. So I'll stay but you didn't say though. There's been times when I had to make decisions that I had trouble making and you helped me make them Nick and you always made the right decisions and I counted on you for that. It was so nice having somebody that so close that I could depend on for my support for a

26:37 For helping me to make those those decisions that were so hard when we knew that he'd been diagnosed as a full-time resident that so that he wouldn't be able to go home. This was probably one of the hardest times for me knowing that but Nick saw me through that he made me understand why and and if I could come to understand too, but that was probably I'll always be grateful to you for that. Nick helped me get through that one time while you were the one to make the decision mom. I mean, I just I guess I'm more gather the facts and maybe made them put them in a way that maybe you could understand what was going on. But I think we made them together those choices. It was something that we did together.

27:27 How has has has changed your life how to change your relationship with him? Well, I actually see my dad more often now. I used to come to the house every now and then and now I seem at least three times a week. I'll spend Tuesdays and Thursdays after work. I'll go out and eat dinner with them and make sure he's settled in for the evening and then I'll spend all day on Sundays with him. Just kind of guy day. We'll watch football or her will do you want to be activities out there? He'll usually there's some church service and I know I usually try to get him to one of the church services just keep him involved in active in the things that he does at at the veterans home.

28:09 So that he I just want him to remain active and happy and I'm always checking in with them. How how are you doing? How are you feeling?

28:18 How do you like it here? I like it here. I'll tell him he has a nice room. I'll tell him he has nice friends and he always gets a big grin on his face. So I think he does very well very well where he's at. My life has it has really just a little bit more work to get out there and the Veterans Home is going on the other side of town.

28:37 But I think Mom and I would make that trip day everyday and for a while, they're at the at a couple he was at a couple other nursing homes for a while as we were waiting for a space to open up at the veterans home. And I we would go every single day to go see him just to make sure that you was doing okay.

28:56 So I want to I want to say something Mom. I I I I think that I said it a little bit early on buddy. I want to see it again. And that is that.

29:07 There a lot of thought

29:10 A lot of challenges that we've had to go through with Dad. I think that that hasn't been easy for either of us and I think we would do it over and over and over again just because we love this guy.

29:21 But I don't think that I would have ever been able to do the things that I've done without having incredible parents such as you and Dad you taught me how to be caring and how to be giving and people at the nursing home. I told me over and over again how they're like while you're you're unlike anybody who's you ever met and I'm like, I don't know how to take that because I'm only being me I'm only being the person that that you brought up, you know, and I I just want to say, thank you.

29:50 And everybody out there just loves you you're able to get things from those people out there that the nurse is Camp gift when so many of them. You'll go up until you I think, you know each one of them personally, and they all were happy to see you when you come they all have big smiles on their faces that you treat him so nice and they love that will they're all people and they all have a story, you know, the one thing that I've learned about all those veterans and their wives whoever the residents are out there. They all have a story to tell just like we have a story to tell here and now it's been amazing. Just getting to know all of those people, but I just want to to wrap up our our time today just by saying, thank you, and and I love you. Thank you for being the great wife to Dad and thank you for being the most incredible mother to me.

30:45 I love you and you've been such a wonderful friend and I couldn't go through all this that I've had to go through without your field. Nick your hair not just for your dad, but you've been my caretaker to we didn't make it easy for you. We didn't make it easy at all because there was some pretty rough time that you had to put us help us through and I have grateful to you for that. So we did it together. I know and I thank you for that, honey, and I do love you. I love you, too.

31:15 And that's why we love your dad so much.