John Hock, Robert Hock, and Joan Hock

00:04 Hello. I'm about to park. I'm 40 x to today's date is Wednesday, May 17th, 2017, and we're recording from Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm with my wife Jon Jon and my son John.

00:27 I'm Joan hog, and I'm 74. Again. Bob already mentioned today is May 17th 2017 and we are in Cincinnati, Ohio.

00:41 And we have our son John it was as today.

00:51 My name is John Hawk.

00:56 47

01:01 Wednesday May 17th 2017

01:07 Cincinnati, Ohio

01:11 John your mother and I brought you here today to storycorps to talk about your life and our life.

01:21 You were born in Cincinnati, Ohio. Tell us a little bit about your family who's in your family.

01:28 Mom and Dad special friends

01:37 I love people and just enjoying people who else is in your family.

01:45 My two older brothers and my sister what are their names David? Khari?

01:56 Tim and Melissa and Rob and Denise and their children

02:04 We are.

02:07 Lived in Cincinnati until you were about 3 and then we move to Chicago, Illinois. Can you remember Chicago, Illinois? Yes. Any people you remember from their Bill Maloney father's ruscus.

02:23 Okay.

02:26 Remember to listen to the song.

02:29 I knew you were a really good student there. What do you think you were best at?

02:39 Mast I agree. It's pretty good spelling to

02:44 When you were about 9 we moved from Chicago to Durham North Carolina and life change their what kind of change happened when you were a little bit short of your 10th birthday. I fell off my bike.

03:01 Hit my hit my head on concrete Street.

03:06 And I couldn't walk or do anything. I had to relearn how to do everything that you first ended up in Duke Hospital.

03:20 Can you tell us a little bit about Dick to remember and I know?

03:25 Remember other people know you'll remember a lot of people probably as we go along.

03:36 We were in Durham and we were trying to find a school for you. But we had a lot of trouble finding a school and knew what to do with you. Okay? Go ahead. I have something that that isn't okay and I teach you had a lot of behavior, a very serious brain injury exactly when we took you into school. They didn't know how to handle the photos you spit on people. You couldn't talk understand.

04:13 So we had a lot of very good friends there shells at Thompson's and at some point though. We realized that we really had to change. We really had to move. So it's that time we decided to come back to Cincinnati. So we came back to Cincinnati and you were only about 11 or 12 when we came back here.

04:36 So you grew up here you began to relearn and actually you did much better and people thought you could can you comment on that at all?

04:53 Remember coming back to Cincinnati.

04:56 Remember what kind of school you went to or what special special education? Just trying to learn to talk. You can talk at all when you can see what what what what happened to my friend memory. Maybe you don't know what's going on. But I am was in the Frisch's program, right Larry. Okay. Mrs. Griffith. Mom was afraid you couldn't remember any of your school teachers. I thought you were.

05:43 Is that memory problems?

05:48 But you went through grade school. You learn to talk. You went into High School you continue to grow you continue to learn and you really did very well going through special ed. And then you went to Vocational School Right Live Oaks.

06:12 Frisch's program

06:14 Are you go?

06:16 What kind of things did you learn in the Frisch's program? This is Frisch's Big Boy.

06:24 It was one special thing. You got to be really good at your first job an onion ring King.

06:40 You were the onion ring. Can you worked at Frisch's and they hired you after your your train your vocational training program and they started out with trying you at all different kind of jobs. Right? And I remember the job where they had you fill the salad bar. But what happened when you filled the cell what happened you remember I decided you maybe the salad bar wasn't your town. What did you do?

07:10 You filled the salad bar. And then you got ready to go home and then a lady came to get some salad and you told her she couldn't you just figured nobody could eat the South but then they onion ring King. What was that about?

07:29 I decided you really did a good job.

07:37 Breaded onion rings. So you went in the back room all by yourself and you became the job you worked at jobs 3 4 years now about 14 years.

08:03 1314 years

08:05 And we thought you'd be there a long time but at some point you you weren't doing as well and something happened that really affected you you were going home after Frisch's at work and you stopped at a gas station.

08:28 Well, what happened was this man got a gun and shot me when he came in and he was trying by Broyhill right? He put his arm around your neck right held the gun to your head.

08:50 He said get on the floor. I don't know what to do. You know what to do when you said the floor is dirty, right?

09:05 Will you remember about that?

09:07 I don't remember not a lot, right, but he shot you you're bleeding to come get you.

09:18 I was away. I was out of town.

09:22 I got a phone call.

09:24 All they said Your son's been shot. They didn't tell me you were okay.

09:30 Are there any way a lot of bleeding took you in the ambulance? I took you to the hospital eventually took the bullet out, but they never found who did it, right?

09:43 You seem to change after that.

09:47 Yet you seem to really be frightened and scared and worried. What's going on? What's going on? What's Happening?

10:00 And I think it affected you in a lot of ways.

10:05 You think of any ways that affected you?

10:09 Fear, sometimes your memory wasn't as good at understanding of language and what to do and how to do and what are you talkin about then? It's like

10:24 I have iPad of baby dad.

10:29 Can understand what I'm trying to say.

10:34 I I I got shot and go on the leg, but it affected your memory, right?

10:44 And you you felt as afraid of you had some other jobs to he had a job at Procter & Gamble jobs, you worked in the kitchen to but they eventually close that right?

11:05 But surely after that it became more difficult for you to maybe Mom and you are talking about what I'm talking about. I don't know what to do. And it's like I don't know what you're talkin about. It's hard to understand exactly why it's time to change jobs that point right? So you began working where you work now, right, right a Goodwill.

11:43 During this. Of time you are able to live okay in your apartment you made lots of friends you dated for a while and you you had become pretty independent, but then it became more difficult for you to do that. And you used to live at your apartment by your you get up by yourself shave shower and ready for school work at that point it ready for work and go off by yourself, but then things began to change more and eventually

12:25 I'm out after a. Of time you start to have more trouble in the meantime that you had lots of not what you did and what Mom did but what I did I used to spit on my teacher garage door in an old Crush down to the ground. But in the meantime you started to get to do some really nice things, right. Do you remember you were one of 10 citizen? Yes, because of all your encouraging children to use bye-bye to home with safety belt.

13:17 You testified before the city council in?

13:23 You also testified before the city of Cincinnati city council. You testified before the Ohio state representatives, Ohio State Senate right used to go from school to school and stand up and you had a friend that would take off schools Greg Greg Greg Myers Greg Burkett. And you did that year after year, you would go and and present the school kids, but then after a while we finally realize that things were changing with you and you started to come over to our house at night by yourself bad things.

14:13 Good Hat

14:16 What do you remember?

14:21 Well, I think we decided at some point in time that it was time to do some additional kind of testing to see how things were going with you. And so we were able to find a doctor who actually had tested you some years before and we began a process of looking at just kind of life changes for your time. And after we had that testing done it was suggested that you have probable dementia part of your brain injury most when you fell was in the front and was in the Saha. So after a number of years that dementia began to change your ability to remember saying I can't I couldn't remember like like if I said to you I didn't know what to do. I couldn't understand.

15:21 Can you think of melt in trouble with I remember you couldn't think of words is I couldn't save what are you talkin about?

15:34 I think always the understanding of words and language is sometimes you can talk a lot but you don't understand what's going on do in recent years and it's even become a little more difficult for you it is we see the changes and sometimes your memory that I can't remember things quite the way you used to be. So now you okay you now have staff people with you so that they can help you and assist you write every night but not right and I stay then somebody stays over with your mom something. I remember through all of this is that

16:21 You really like going to church and you're very spiritual and you go you used to go every day and now because of your work time. You can't go every morning to go every Sunday, right? And you're you really are a big believer in God, what would you say to God if you could talk to God about your life.

16:46 How special he is.

16:51 Like no you're pretty special.

16:54 But I think

16:57 He's very valuable and

17:00 What do you often? Say? He's your what?

17:03 Your best friend

17:12 So anything else about that cuz important to you. I think it's pretty amazing that in spite of some of your language and your memory problems that when I go to church with you that you know, every song, you know all the way everything to all the songs. You also know all the words are depreciable things as well as other response prayers. So you're you have learned all of that and that's very strong in your memory. And I think it make gives you a great deal of comfort when you go to church or very calm and and I'm very involved.

17:55 I think you have an impact on us to we end up going to church with you. And also when we're not with you, let's talk a little bit about Goodwill.

18:08 You better Goodwill now, maybe 10 years 10 years. What are you doing? Whatever they want me to do you what you can give some examples like the bolt tightening put together, you'll put bolts and nuts together you change from one box to another like tips. Like if I said you I just

18:38 Had

18:40 Two boxes a tips done today

18:46 And are you good worker? Yes. Yes. What do you have each night that you bring home?

18:53 I know it was a note say how good I am. So you get a special Mark each and every night. I can be assured you going to bring that happens when you get nine marks, I get a free lunch, but you never tell me I want to come and eat your free lunch at you won't tell me what day is it?

19:18 What else you do? What do you do for activities now you bowl?

19:26 How many strikes do you get?

19:28 Like 6 or 7?

19:35 You're also like to sing. Oh, I love to see like what did was was was trying to say about like you in about me about church and then you also still trying to explain to you I like saying and like to you and like I I know every word to every song but not just to church, you know, what lots of words to many many songs, but but up. I'm trying to say

20:16 So music has been very very important to you. And you and you love to go dancing. Keep right up with the music and have a great sense of Rhythm and John saw it. We did help him relearn language. He wasn't able to talk except to fill in words to songs. And so John salt music therapist for many years. You kind of relearn some of your language. Do you want to see the music therapist? Cuz it that time you were kicking the wall and spitting on people and I'm in the other room and your mom couldn't even stay downstairs. She went upstairs cuz she couldn't she couldn't be there and see what would happen and the lady was very clever and she came in and she sat down in front of in front of the

21:16 Klonopin in Chester, she didn't start asking you about maybe and maybe dad can explain something that I don't know of what I am trying to say about music lessons Megan Brewer Memphis. Now that the did you go see you had music your piano lessons when you were real little right, but then after your injury, you didn't show any interest right? So we took you to this lady and she with you and but what I remember,

21:57 Was it was quiet and oh God John hasn't spit on her and I heard one thing.

22:04 Planck length

22:07 And then I heard

22:09 Plank

22:12 And then a little silence and then I heard blank and blank.

22:18 And then I heard plank plank and then she started to work with you. She didn't talk to you and before long the music over in your right side of your brain that connects the right and the left side of your to you said in the very beginning that you have two brothers and my sister and your sister.

22:50 You know, I think they have been a wonderful support to you helping with you.

23:02 They would play games with you and play UNO. Do you remember doing with some special things that you can think of with your brothers and sister?

23:13 Just playing.

23:15 Don't go on a tank tag. You want to play tag with me lately did a lot of running with you that you could walk off a lot of energy and so you would oftentimes they take you outside and maybe maybe you and maybe dad can can explain to me about my story about when I

23:50 2 2

23:56 Rob and Dave used to play teaser used to give you a tease men and if I said to you

24:14 Eat grass

24:21 We had a lot of silly things that we did not do to cope with Alyssa did something that I think was really quite special cuz she was your younger put together a little book and she tried to help you learn to read it. So she was kind of like she's sort of became your big sister out of your little sister. She was really helpful in trying to help you especially in those early days, but they're still very good to you and they do lots of things for you and with you and keep track of you and talk to you a lot and you're teaching them a lot and and through it all. They also really had to put up with

25:08 Are Mom and Dad. Not being available to them going to meetings and things right? They've handled that but you know, we spend a lot of time with meeting planning and everything to keep you in school and keep you moving.

25:27 Do you know lots of people in the neighborhood where you live? I know everyone.

25:32 I remember when you would walk to work when you work at Frisch's talk to you about. I remember something maybe dad can tell Will you and you start and I'll tell tell tell who I am.

25:58 I had this job at iradell know you were working at Procter & Gamble every day after and so he you weren't scheduled to work the next two workers. So they called you to see if you could come in and you said of course, but it was an ice storm. And so the buses used walk down to the bus and the buses weren't running and so John walked about four miles to get to work out for me. When he got there hate you have ice on your hair and you were just covered in and they couldn't believe that you were that blunt honest and you walk the entire way to get there, but you always love I love work.

26:58 And you're very social and Community, you know, the the police officers know you the fire department knows you the lots of your neighbors know you and went often times when you would walk to work. I remember seeing you just walking down the street and people would be bet you and you would just wave to everybody and you don't walk down the street like I used to know because we have staff with you people with you. And so the people always are asking me where is John we really miss my Long John around so I think they think you're very friendly.

27:39 Did you miss that yeah.

27:44 Well, you're the same good guy, and everybody tells me I go in Krogers and they'll say hi John. Haha and then and then I typed

27:57 Other friends talk about some friends.

28:01 You have a group.

28:05 Group Friday night or Friday night group who's in that group?

28:19 Beverly Scott Allina, Ron Preston cope with the problem know the problem.

28:32 With Ron Preston, he can't walk all of those people in your group have some kind of disability and I very young and right but you've been friends and getting together on Friday night for about 20 years or so and sometimes you have it at your house party and social time and thing since so it's been a nice little friendship for where a lot of people because sometimes it is hard to have friends and do things with other people.

29:08 I think John that this might be a good time to say who are who are the people who are really important to you.

29:17 My family my friends and I love to work friends.

29:29 Communicate

29:33 You speak to everybody you see when I'm down the street.

29:39 I'm a social butterfly. You might say that.

29:47 We travel and go to Kiowa and we're getting ready to go. Akhil. Again this summer and so will try and get the whole family together and we don't have a chance to do that very often, but I'll try and do that this summer so you look forward to that.

30:07 You have a lot of nice very thoughtful nieces and nephews to that are good about playing cards with you and finding things like that while you two wondering what would you said like Alyssa? What would you said about me and Alyssa about?

30:27 I think you've taught your nieces and nephews and your brothers and sisters sister to is that, you know life can change very quickly in the second in your life certainly did change, but I think, you know, you've taught them about how people can be different had different skills different abilities that I still have a quality life still enjoy being with people at my house valuable life is and the different they're just different kinds of people in three very accepting of all people. Can I talk to you go ahead talk to Dad? I can never never never never ever go to college.

31:14 Well, I know that's been disappointing to you know, I don't think I could go for.

31:23 Well, I think you've used your education very well. And I think it's gotten you through a lot of jobs and it's gotten you to Goodwill and I think that's what you're supposed to do in life. We all have to figure out what we're good at like you hopefully

31:42 So who who in your life are you most involved with now?

31:50 My friends. Okay. Well, I mean we talk about your friends who you are most involved with. Who do you spend the most time with some maybe care providers to?

32:00 Like Jessica like sometimes Jessica's would sometimes say I'm too busy.

32:09 I can't she couldn't work that.

32:17 Go ahead and it's like sometimes she says I'm too busy.

32:23 Okay, who stays overnight on Fridays with In-N-Out?

32:29 My staff, do you know the name of the person to somebody new?

32:38 So just on Friday night, you have somebody stay over and your mom and I can stay a little bit later on.

32:47 Thinking back John through your life. What's been the saddest thing for you?

32:58 What's in the saddest thing for you?

33:06 I know that's a hard question. I think sometimes.

33:12 What's going on in the world? Can you get very worried about the world?

33:19 Things that go wrong in the world. So that's something you feel sad. Like like if I said to you I'm going to lie to you. You don't know what to do my lines. They like Donald Trump sometimes.

33:37 Yes, we we need a lot of commentary about that other things you feel sad about cuz I can think you felt sad that you can't get married.

33:51 I don't think I can afford it marriage is very expensive.

33:57 What are the happiest what's what's the best thing in life?

34:01 Work you think work is a real thing.

34:06 When I like money, like if I said you I just got a whole you do like money. I know you don't understand this and you don't know what what's going on. I just got my my last paycheck over $100 how we see your paycheck stub every time every time you get one. So but I know he enjoyed having your own apartment being independent. I remember when your second brother got married and was moving out and I remember you saying to Dad and I you know, if you think I'm staying here you got another thing coming so, you know, you moved into your own apartment on April 1st, which is what what happens on April 4th first.

35:00 April Fool's Day joke so you moved into your own apartment was I a go?

35:18 About 15 years. Okay what I noticed so you're so happy about is just being friends and all the people, you know, you always go out and always ask the same questions. You always ask him how old they are and you always ask couples how long they been

35:43 But you're known as one of the happiest people. I know John but in spite of what you've been through which is been very difficult to maintain this real cheerful happy way and everybody coming.

36:03 Do you know that how do you how do you stay so cheerful?

36:07 I've been I've been happy all my life.

36:12 That's a gift. I know people have been what through what you've been through don't look very happy.

36:19 How do you want people to Remember You John? What would be the big thing? They said she I remember John. What would you want them to remember about you?

36:29 Good good things and just talkin just

36:39 You always have a nice smile.

36:45 One of the things John that I want to talk about it is.

36:50 We've invited you to talk about your life and your relationship to the family, but I want to talk just a little bit about my relationship to you.

37:02 When you were injured.

37:05 Why is it happened or what happened? That's something for you to talk to God? Okay, but when you were injured I thought my life was ruined.

37:25 It was so horrible that and I could hardly I could hardly handle it. But what I've come to realize.

37:37 Is it really you met a gift?

37:43 And the work that we have put in has been worth every second and I want you to understand.

37:56 I can say anything you want to I think you have any gift. I know what that just said about the end. So I treasure those things and the treasure you.

38:14 So I want you to understand that a tragedy did not happen to me and I appreciate every day and I love with you that mean I don't get frustrated and mean I don't get asked yet, but I've really come to understand you're a joy.

38:44 Chef

38:47 I love to sing. So, how can you think of a song?

39:04 What did you sing in your last presentation?

39:16 I don't think you know, I can't think of one of your songs are I don't know that the sound set.

39:27 Has it been can you leave This Little Light of Mine? I'm going to let it shine the light of mine. I'm going to let It Shine Let It Shine Let It Shine Let It Shine.

39:47 They got blow your nose chief of time.