Carolyn Head and Dennis Head

00:04 Hi, my name is Carolyn head my age is 69 today's date is September 13th. 2019 location is Memphis Tennessee? My interview partner is William Dennis head and he is my oldest child my son.

00:22 Hello, my name is Dennis head age 51 today's date is September 13th, 2019. We are in Memphis Tennessee. My interview partner is Carolyn head and she is my mother.

00:39 All right. So Mom tell me about how daddy Scott your father was an influence on your life. And if you would please be sure to mention the library a story when you all were when after Americans were first allowed to go to the library. Okay? Well, first of all, I was a true Daddy's girl from the very beginning until the time of his death anytime. My dad went somewhere. I usually was with him. A lot of people called me his shadow Daddy had a number of extra jobs making ends meet and I would go with him and when I reflect the beauty of this was that you even were doing something like going to an office building where he did janitorial work. It was a lesson. He didn't frame anything as a lesson but later I realized it was you know, I think my

01:39 Assignment was just cleaning the ashtrays and that fact in the head glass ashtrays and doing that cleaning process. They had to absolutely shine and he would inspect and he would say any job that you do you have to do it. Well, it doesn't make a difference what it is. And so that was a lot about how he approached life and how I learned a lot about doing things doing things the right way putting the energy in in the work in to do a good job did not make a difference what it was what it was cleaning. Those ashtrays are graduating to trash cans and I was instructed to make sure that I made the the best of it and those are lessons that I have remembered and I passed on to my kids that is important and critical to give your best to whatever you're doing and you ask about the law.

02:39 Library I was born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee born in 1950 raised during a time when there was segregation, but my parents were very thought it was very important for education and part of that was about reading and when the libraries were initially segregated we did have bookmobiles and so we would go to the bookmobile on a regular basis first where we could actually walk down the street to go to the bookmobile but some of us read so much that we extend it through that availability of those very quickly and that was a little disappointing but then they built a library for African-Americans and I remember a lot of times we will walk there my girlfriend I would walk there but we have so many books. My dad would have to come back to drive us back.

03:39 And I thought that was a glorious experience going from the bookmobile to actually you know, what we call a real Library brick-and-mortar building and then I recall when the main library opened and daddy took us there. I need its own a regular basis. If I remember the first time going, you know, Daddy always set out in the car, you know, napping usually in waiting for my girlfriend and I to go in and I remember that first time walking in there. I can remember how old we were we were not quite teens but you know, we walked in there and I thought oh my goodness and I feel that I had died and gone to heaven if Emma was such a amazing experience, but I bought a recall my daddy.

04:27 Always been willing to do if you don't receive all data moving to go to the library that it would take us to library now. He didn't go in but we could be in there for two hours or more and he would be sitting out in the car waiting for us because he knew one thing that the main library is too far for us to walk to but he knew we would have too many books to cure on our own and so I appreciate that. He you know supported that love reading by taken any of us on that trip to the library and being patient enough to wait for us regardless of how long that it might take.

05:09 Yeah, I'm glad you went over that again. I just felt it was important to share especially looking back at your life. Now that you've retired and you made a career of you know, serving the public, you know through your work in the library and you know part of the reason I wanted to do, you know share this experience is because I've reflected over time and learned, you know through that process, you know, what your experiences through your through your parents and then my direct experiences with them have influence in my life. And you mentioned how Daddy's got was really patient and I tend to be not quite as patient as he is mine as you but I definitely tend to be patient and you know those lessons of putting forth your best effort regardless of the type of work you're doing has endured in my life and it's something that I still teach and especially did so when I was doing a lot of Youth mentoring

06:09 With the Boys & Girls Clubs

06:13 I think you know you wanted to know something about great stories from Grandmother. Well, there are actually quite a few but I think the biggest that still resonates with me most today while I'll share to one is the grandfather clock when I was somewhere between eight and ten years old visiting during the summer. She asked if I knew what is a grandfather clock and of course, you know, my witty self explain that she's like good. I think we're going to buy you one and I was busting at the seams. I couldn't wait to go buy a grandfather clock. I was thinking it was going to be this immediate deal that we can go pick it up and bring it on what I didn't realize that I came to learn overtime is that she was saving, you know, and she ended up making payments on that clock, but I was part of the process of selecting the clock and she got it.

07:13 Of course so that we stayed in her price range.

07:17 But the magic of it all that I didn't know what that time was that she was building a legacy.

07:28 And I have that clock now and I still remember them very finely and

07:34 You know how much they've put into my life and fed me?

07:38 You know to care for other people.

07:42 Just give of myself which I do tires lose tirelessly on the weekends, you know serving people I work with serving people, you know, it's part of my working on profit and I have that, you know with me, you know that help remember those lessons in those relationships and on a different note.

08:08 I remember how she helped further and still at work ethic that Grandfather said and placed, you know, his lesson was do your best regardless of what type of work it is. She encouraged me to just enjoy the process of work and she was very smooth about it. You know, she paid me, you know, I'm allowed or not really an allowance. But for each thing that I, you know task I completed she gave me some you no money for it, but she always built it up as some exciting, you know project or activity that I would do for her or with her. So that was really important.

08:52 What can I comment something on your eye I knew so many layers. I mentioned that I was a daddy's girl and and my brother was I don't want to see a baby. But you know, my dad favored me my mom's favorite my brother and it worked out fine because you know, we had that kind of evenly divided it but then when you came along it was almost in some way, you know, she's kicking my brother to the curb because she was crazy, you know about you. She she really favorite little little boys. I think she identified much more in and developing and rearing and that was like really I think a great experience for you to have that remember I told you a number of times that

09:43 Once you know Alex your son was born if if Mom has been alive, you know as much as you were close to her. She would have kicked you to the curb. You know, it's one of my something sad in my life that she died in a relatively young at the age of 67. I think I was about 37 at the time and I feel fortunate with him. But sometimes we had a rocky relationship, but I remember probably like five years before she passed away, you know, we'd healed a lot of that. So and I'm glad that we were able to get on firmer ground with that but I so often wish that she could have seen you grow into the man that you are and that she could have a witness Alex. I think they would have been great. I think you would have been so jealous, you know watching her.

10:43 Ship with with Alex and I regret that she did not have that opportunity and he didn't have the opportunity to have that interaction with his grandmother built though. Gratefully. He had some time at a younger age with with with debit and I definitely share those stories and being consistent with the theme about serving others because we've hit on that to some degree and

11:18 The the value that it has for us as individuals and what we impart to others and just appreciating life in general and our experiences, you know also led me to want to do the sit down and do this but more specifically regarding the story with you and Nina cat because I had already started on this trajectory of serving others, you know in my way but having heard that story from you on several occasions, you know turns out has been very impactful and who I am now in this and in who I continue to develop as an individual, but I want you to share that story because I think being touched by that and having actually met her is extremely valuable that come in tomorrow.

12:18 Lives we may not realize it at the time and I certainly didn't at the at the very beginning that I really wash it events for us that they have a profound impact on who we are and who we are to become I recall I was a graduated from lover school and 1974 and was probably early 1975. I was working for the Memphis Public Library and part of what we did was go out to community fairs that type of thing and they needed someone to go.

12:55 Then it was Memphis State currently University of Memphis and be a part of information. So, you know, we were always and a place at the library trying to provide people with information on the second floor in the student center. And we were supposed to be there for a certain amount of time and it seemed like everybody was leaving before it was over but you know, my my thing wasn't hearing my parents voices in my commitment to you know, doing things right. I was not leaving until you know the closing time even if you know other people that left and they were not not many people coming on the second floor and I recall there was one other woman that was was on the second floor and she's been you know kind of looking down at my area and I'm thinking you was this woman looking at me, but at some point she came to my table and she

13:55 Reduce yourself and said hi. I'm Nina Katz. And who are you and I think she may have asked, you know, tell me you know, what what's your story and I'm thinking okay. So I start just started tell her, you know that I did recently graduated from lovers go with my masters. I was working at Memphis Public and I'd volunteer to to come and staff this booth and she said you don't want to share something with you and she had kind of like a notebook photo album type of thing and she looked it up.

14:30 And just started to share this amazing story and you know as a holocaust Survivor at that time, I didn't know that much about the Holocaust menu about it, but she's telling me her story and how she was in the concentration camps and how she had been liberated and they were just seeing others were just walking walking walking and at some point like others, you know, she just kind of falling to the ground and there was it there was at one point where

15:09 You know, there were just a lot of dead bodies there. And if you ever seen those pictures just you know, emaciated dead body some bones and you know, they were gathering all of these up but there was a Red Cross.

15:24 Nursing a Red Cross nurse that I think she said had the sense that there was someone alive there and and you know, long story short she got her out and she she rescued her and then later when Nina was on a bus she you know her childhood sweetheart that they connect with each other and they ended up going to New York and then eventually Memphis Tennessee and she was telling me that she was on the bus in Memphis and she's gone to sit in the back of the bus and you know, you know the why people are telling her, you know, you can't sit there that's where in people, you know sit and you know, one of the things that she thought about was she gone through all of this, you know, what the Holocaust and then here she is in the South and some was telling her, you know in the black people were begging her please man, please please.

16:24 Don't don't cause any problems when she got off that bus and decided, you know, she needed to make a change make a difference. And so she was telling me about about this and she said, you know.

16:42 You're you're going to be involved in a lot in Memphis and you're going to just you know, make a difference and I'm thinking and I'm 25, you know, and I don't I don't know. I don't know and she said we don't know. There's a there's a diversity can't with you and I'd like you to get involved with that and I'm thinking and I know I don't know about that. But then when she kept telling me these these things to be involved in and so we exchanged, you know phone numbers in all that time. We didn't have cell phones in an email exchange and you know, she later invited me to come and join with a group of women black and white at that time. They were meeting in restaurants. They used to meet in homes in a black people going to white people's homes and vice-versa, you know, just the kind of stir things up and show you no friendships among different races. And so I went to one of those and next thing I knew I was involved in that.

17:42 The long-term involvement with The Literacy Council and she would invite me to her house for the Seder and you know, that was just a whole new experience of of of experience in that with her family and close friends. I received an invitation one year. That was great. So but the thing is is that one encounter that this woman sharing her life with me and not just an extraordinary life and her commitment to serving people until this is a bit like those parallel events to some degree. You know, my Dad's Army hadn't been in the Holocaust but you know, he was up a generation that had dealt a lot with racial Injustice and you know how he persevered and how he stayed strong and help me to stay strong and then here's his woman who just

18:42 Besides she see something in me. She saw something in me that I didn't see and she prescribed she proclaimed that in this is what you're going to do and anyone who knows our new need a cat's new that you just don't say. No. I thought I could say no, but you know, you really can't but that was kind of like the trajectory of of in the in the bridge from just some thoughts of mine about, you know, I need to be about more than what I'm about I need to do something else to this woman coming along and providing the impetus for this providing the more concrete ways for me to do this and even now sometimes I think back about

19:33 That event what if I had not volunteered what if I had not stayed until the end and I had left when other people had left and what if she had not come to say something to me how different. You know, my life would have been I mean, we don't we can play the what-if games but I know that if the what if it had been different I probably would not have been the same person that I am today. So I had that background for my parents and then you know, I need it comes along and she just solidifies that and and they sent you says go go forth and I always will appreciate that and it just gave me a determination, you know with with my kids, you know, mostly by, you know example to show you know, you have to be other than just within your

20:33 Self you have to be in a place where you helping others in in all of us have to come to a different path to that. You know, I never suggest anyone you have to do with the way that I did and you know why I feel that I have established Vermont from my three children the the desire of the importance of of of giving back probably say you out of all three met because you're the oldest maybe calls, you know, what whatever reason have done that in in much more the ways that I've done but all of all of all three of you all have done in some way your part in making sure whether is mentoring or you know, crisis suicide line or something that you're going Beyond.

21:34 You know yourself and I think developing some type of of Legacy for the future in helping someone else. Yeah. It's it's definitely been deeply embedded in my life again in terms of you know, the type of work I've dedicated myself to and you know how I manage my personal time if you will looking at my early career.

22:03 Yes started off, you know working for Youth Villages and then a few no work 6 and 1/2 7 years for Boys & Girls Club. And I think all that is is connected, you know to those early experiences being around the examples of service that you and Dad have provided especially you because I have, you know, been more involved in those processes. I never would have thought that the Boys & Girls Club would have ended up such a significant part of my early career, but I think again that's tied into your very intentional efforts to put me in environments that challenged.

22:49 My daily reality and challenged me to think Beyond who I am as an individual and specifically, you know, what I'm referring to in that instance is the fact that during the Summers for many years when I was really young I spent time at the Boys & Girls Club. I spent time at Big Mama's House and that significant for anyone who may be listening in that we lived in an all-white neighborhood. We were only black family there. So my reality was considerably different than those of the individual largely who were members of the Boys & Girls Club or who were foster kids at Big Mama's House. And those were those reach, you know, within an inner city or you know,

23:38 Challenging core rule environment right or Urban environment

23:46 So it is interesting to me that many years later when I was on a completely different path in my mind having graduated that I stumbled back into the Boys & Girls Club where I had worked part-time during undergrad and had Bernal Smith Senior call out and he he found me through you guys cuz I've been backpacking across Europe. So I was off the grid and he said I really want to speak to him and he wanted me to come back because you remember the work I did there and this is where there's some intersectionality if you will.

24:28 I've always been the kind kid Curious George the stories. You read to me. Most frequently who is always exploring. This was not a TD, right? So you all understood that this kid needs to be busy. He's always learning. He's always eager. He's always exploring and trying to learn new things. So you constantly kept me exposed or so through that process. I've learned how to do so many things at anything that interest me. I'll go and dig into it deeply by researching and put my hands on it and learn it, right.

25:08 So when I was at the Boys & Girls Club, I had the ability to start a photography lab there wasn't one there and I noticed there was a national Boys & Girls Club photo competition. So I was able to get them to give me money and I created a photo lab and five out up or maybe it's been so long, maybe eight out of 10 of our students Place nationally in the Boys & Girls Club photo contest during that same time. I was running the wood shop and I was running the arts and crafts room as a single individual, you know undergrad working part-time because that's how much Faith Bernal put in my ability to bring you know,

25:55 Bring exposure to our youth who wouldn't necessarily be otherwise gotten it. Maybe maybe not. You know, we did we started a soccer team. There's all kinds of things. I could go on if nauseam about this, but the point is that I fell in love with sharing in a creative way life lessons to help bring new opportunity to individuals who had limited opportunity in exposure. So, you know, I parlayed that overtime when I became up by Pro or became a club director at the club to get even more money.

26:35 To do a big primitive camping and cycling trip between here and Louisiana and I was at the time on the cycling team the mountain biking cycling team for The Peddler Bike Shop here and the owner how maybry used funds from a race to purchase bikes for a group of kids and I tied that into a lessened building activity or project if you would I don't know if I've ever shared the snow. So this is pretty new. So we were going for a little over a week. I taught them how to work in teams each team had their own tent that they had to build and each team was responsible for creating a meal one of the nights and so we were camping.

27:35 For a we camped for a total of maybe four or five days not all at once because we would camp in a ride our bikes load up and go to another trail that I had plotted out on a map at that point across Louisiana are now I'm sure we cover more than Louisiana, but we ended up staying in a hotel in New Orleans at the end of the trip was like the big celebration like you survived all this outdoor Dennis head stuff, but I talked them, you know, Trail safety, you know, maintaining the trails. There are a lot of elements involved in this and I didn't really prepare to talk about this. So I'm sure I'm leaving a lot out. But what I was trying to do was just give this broccoli and Compazine.

28:26 Exposure to appreciated in valuing nature taking time for yourself being self-reliant in group work if you will write and supporting, you know other individuals do this process, but for those who went on the trip, it wasn't just a personally selected process. They had to serve the club consistently over app read preset. Of time to you no help clean monitor the younger kids whatever and those who endure the process in really Rose to the occasion were the ones that I selected to go on the trip and that was one of two similar cuz I took kids to Atlanta also but is the club director I didn't have the flexibility to do that regularly to be involved in programming. So I created this program that I would especially design program.

29:26 Then I would leave each year. And so that was something that was part of that continuation if you will of

29:37 What's been fed to me, or what I've experienced in life and giving back in a creative way that as you stated was representative who I am as an individual.

29:51 But it's just remarkable you no looking back and looking at how these oportun I mean how these experiences have connected and let me to who I am today and I was something else I wanted to say about that and I'll come to a complete loss. I wanted to add since you mentioned was having you go to the Boys & Girls Club and taking that back to you know, living in an all-white neighborhood because one of the things that I thought about it and so I can know it's fine with the with the choice to be there because it was a great location. It was it was like walking distance from University of Memphis and you know where to go to law school and I just really great but I had the concern as

30:47 A black mother and with concerns is black parents that you need it and other kind of experience. You need to know how how to navigate in an urban setting in an urban setting the inner city setting and at that time the that Boys & Girls Club was next door to the main library not where it is now at the Peabody McLean location and you are not a willing participant it was like, so I'm not sure if that came out in your telling it was like, you know, we take you there and you know, the kids are like different from Night and Day from what you are accustomed to you were at a campus school and then a different experience and I you know, I thought it was important and you did a greasy

31:47 Now there's a different perspective and I remember I think probably the first day or you know, maybe the second day of the first day you came home kind of crying cuz you know, they were talking about you talking about the way you talked and in this type of thing and is essentially, you know, I think your dad said is what you know, you just got to toughen up I learn you know Aunt the interesting thing. Is that I remember when you were the Boys & Girls Club not the one that was over by Lemoyne and you helped and I may have the location right but you help those kids understand that, you know, this is environment that you're in and this is how you made talk and you know got kick it with your friends while you here, but if you want to move to another level then you've got to be formal and informal that whole kind of thing and I don't know that

32:47 Associated to them informal and formal language, but I remember, you know, you would take them on experiences outside of where they had been so they could see another world and then you could talk to them in the way that they were accustomed talk on the street and then you know switch that code and then talk in the more formal language for them to understand. You know that there's a survival thing that you do while you're in the in the neighborhood, but then there's also a survival in a way that you have to and that you can behave in order to different rules from the street to the boardroom Leo and that was before I start reading things about from the street to the boardroom.

33:31 Question, could you unspecified what the code switch is Oso just to be clear on code-switching. You know, it's just the idea that

33:43 One adjust his or her type in style of communication and demeanor to fit the environment in which she he exists if you will. Yeah, so you got to learn the rules to know. All right, we've heard people say that to my white Voice or you know, it's really just your professional because I don't like to put color online, but unfortunately that's what people tend to do our expectation or ability to be comfortable speaking correctly. Do you know we have to kind of correct people on that I do if I think I I really was was particularly pleased that you were giving those young people that opportunity that the other thing thinking about the Boys & Girls Club when you were at the one on the morning at the at first, it was just a boy.

34:42 Club there, what means there were no girls and then some point it change the Boys & Girls Club and you are just started programming for girls or well before there was an established project because I knew that we were going down that path and one of the programs that we started at the end. That was the Goodwill Boys & Girls Club one of the programs we start it was a majorettes.

35:13 Team, that was just ragtag. I mean we just put together, you know, basically t-shirts and matching shorts coordinated by one of the mothers in the neighborhood because I had reached out to my female program director and said we really need to do something specifically for the girls, but part of that wasn't just me. It was the young ladies come into my office saying, mr. Dennis, you got all the stuff for the boys and then we don't have nothing and I said well, let me take care of that. So we created this majorette team and it's interesting because once light started to shine on them as they were winning competition after my petition. They were the featured performers at the biggest boys and girls club fundraiser that occurs annually, which is steak and burger.

36:05 And also tied into that story is the is the idea that I've from you all. I've always been very inclusive in people's differences and it's interesting not funny that now we have so much light being shown on is that the right that's close enough. I don't think about it right now placed on, you know, diversity and difference and it's you know still a very challenge space, you know in this Narrative of our country, but I remember there was a young man who came out during that time and I embraced him and his ability to coordinate with those young ladies and he was their choreographer. He had a place where he could really shine and through him.

37:03 You know after I left the club and he was a little older he had reached back to me like so many kids did but in different ways to invite me to be part of his world and invited, you know, I was married at the time to Stephanie and invited us to come see him in his family is adopted family if you understand the culture to see him perform in drag so that was eye-opening and expensive for me as well because I was able to experience at a much different than a bunch of different level in a much deeper level a different culture and actually be part of it and to further understanding value and appreciate individual Humanity.

37:50 Yeah, I unlove you know listening to this and seeing the the the the cycle and that the connections from in a reaching back, you know to data Scott's what we call Daddy and and my mom and those lessons and seeing those embodied in you and you know, if my girls were here, you know your sisters were here, you know, they would have their own stories and sometimes I think it is sneaks up on them that connection because I like you you're so active and present in so many ways and then they're doing these things that that sometimes it's not quite as active but it's still very relevant. And you know, I I just I just wish you know, Mom and Dad were

38:49 We're here to see this and chat to hear you. You talk about this and talk about what they learned and how it's been carried on. I've been doing some riding with with Evie about, you know are our connections until these stories just keep coming up and not just with with our similarities black and white women growing up in the South who never had a chance to would not have possibly met each other but it also brings up the influence of of my parents and other people around you know, before it takes a village was was a formal saying that you know, just what we did this what what we did but I think that they would be so excited and so proud to to see that that Legacy continue

39:49 And know that they had a part in playing with that. Well, this is exactly the type of conversation. I wanted to share you think and I'm so glad that I looked online and saw that it was going to be in Memphis cuz it's been 9 years since they were here last I believe and thank you so much again for seeing how you know you want to do this and I so much appreciate that you care enough to have invited me to be a part of this. Thank you. You're welcome.