Michelle Cristiani and Erin Barnes

00:03 Okay, my name is Michelle Cristiani. The date is October 30th, 2021. I am now 48 years old and I'm at home in Portland, Oregon, and I'm here with my friend, Aaron.

00:21 Hi, I'm Erin Barnes. And yes, it's October 30th 2021 and I'm here. I'm at home in Portland, Oregon. I am oh gosh, 54 years old now, and so happy to be here with my friend, Michelle to have a conversation about her experience Michelle. When you were 42, you had a major stroke. Tell me about that. I didn't

00:53 So much has happened in your life since then.

00:56 So much. Yeah, so that was a 2016. It was February 2016 and I had had

01:05 A couple days of dizziness, you know, when you're a busy woman. I have three kids. We talked about her kids all the time and busy life and, you know, and your dizzy and have a monster headache. You just kind of chalk it up to, you know, whatever busy life and then there was one night. It also happened that my whole family had the flu as you remember of it asks you about that later. Everybody had the flu. But me, so I was in bed and I got out of bed at night and I just dropped right to the floor. And I started crawling around and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I, my husband was sleeping separately because he was so sick. So I crawled over to where he was and I said, I think I don't know what's going on. I can't see, I'm sick. I'm dizzy. And he just said, you probably have the flu, take some deep breaths. And so we just sat together for a while and it just kind of went on through the night. I think it started it about.

02:05 3011 and then through the night, I was crawling like a army man back and forth to the bathroom, throwing up having trouble seeing and probably about five 5:30 in the morning, Garnett called my doctor and she was like, I think you better call my mom. So they came and got me out of bed. I don't remember much too much after that. But I remember that they gave me something in the ambulance to, nausea and they said, it's probably just a migraine and I'm prone to migraines and I thought it'd be fine. They thought I'd be fine. Right? And then and then I got there and they did a couple tests in the ER, about, like, putting something really cold on my left side and it was really freezing and then they put something cold on my right side and I can't feel it at all. And they did that a couple different times at different pressure and, and different things. They tried to get me out and get me to walk. And I was like,

03:05 Not going to happen. And I remember that the doctor was a lot smaller than I am. So I got out of bed and I was like, I'm going to knock this guy over and I almost did.

03:17 How tall are on 575 but I knew that I wasn't going to have it. So then they yeah, so then they were like we think we know what's going on and then I had MRIs and then they came in and said you had a stroke and I think I said, what does that even mean? Like the only thing I really knew about Strokes at our age is that your face droops a little bit but I didn't know anything else really about it. And so they just said, well we're going to send you that I see you and I was kind of like, I mean, I don't really remember but I think I was thinking, what are you going to do about it? I didn't know what else, you know, what was going to happen. I didn't know what what it really meant even and I

04:11 No, no. No, he stayed home with the kids. They were. Yeah, at the time, Robert was 11. So he was nine and Nico was

04:25 No, that can't be right. I can't be right cuz he was 4. I remember, he turned five while I was in rehab. So he was for Sophie was seven. Robert was 9 to 10. They were little. So he had to stay with them and they were all sick anyways, so.

04:41 So I think I called him. Maybe I called him. I don't remember who I called. I don't even remember if I call my mom on my family lives in New Jersey where I grew up. So she was really far away. I don't know whether I called her, or whether Marni called her, and I've honestly, I've asked them several times to read, tell that story to me, and I cannot remember it every single time. They tell me I'm like, oh, that's how it happened and I don't remember it. So I don't really know what happened there. But my mom did come out a couple days later, but I do know that Garnet, my husband called you first and you I mean we've been friends for a long time and you live a couple blocks away. Our kids are close to the same age. So I do remember that he called you and I remembered that you took the kids for a while and it was great that I want to hear what? What it was like for you. What you remember. No, I remember that moment. Vividly exactly where I was. We were walking the dog. I was with my husband, and we were at the top of the hill and Garnet called.

05:41 I just remember shocked but also not understanding really what that meant. Like what you said, right? Yeah. I mean I heard of young age having a stroke. So yeah, it was just there to support you guys, but I really didn't have any sense of that and what was going on until I saw you. But you go back to where you were at OHSU and they put you into the ICU and you were leaning against the doctor go back to that. Cuz that's the a brilliant.

06:24 Yeah, that was still in the ER and they had done. But I remember they did the cold test and then some pressure and That Was Then That kind that lasts, you know, and we're just coming back and forth and that was honestly and I know but we'll get there and talk about some of the other things that happen and I had two brain surgeries a couple months later. But that moment when they left when when I tried to walk and he couldn't hold me up and I got back in the bed and they left was the only time through this whole time that I thought I was going to die. That was the only time because I was completely alone and I didn't have it. Maybe I had a call button but I didn't know where it was. So and I was calling for somebody and it was really, I mean, you know how busy they got, it was super busy and they were rushing back and forth and it was it felt like hours before I talk to somebody. And it wasn't certainly. But that was the only time when I was released.

07:24 And then when somebody came in and said, you know, we'll get you some help then. I think they must have given me a sedative a little bit better. But once I got to the I see you that I see you is. I mean very, very careful care. So there was always somebody there to if I needed something, but I didn't.

07:47 At after that moment, I felt, okay. I mean, as okay if I could have been a gas. And after that a doctor came in, I saw two doctors during that whole time and they both had names that were colors. I don't remember that being really funny. It was like, brown and green or something. They're so either, brown or green. He came in and he said, this was like the saving thing for me. He said, anything that's going to happen has already happened. So this is it. And that made me feel, I think, as much as the sedative, that calm you down because it made me feel like they had me, you know, that they understood it and they had me even if I didn't understand it. So that was the the, the, ER part, you know, before I even wound up going up. I didn't really understand. What am I see you was. I mean, unfortunate not to really have interacted with that in my life. So that was all.

08:47 That was all new. I didn't know what that meant about my state or my recovery or any of it. So did you, I remember that Garnett came to visit with the kids and I think you were you at had them for like a couple days, right? Like, and what am I?

09:09 Yeah, just kind of Honor that helping you out and Yeah, taking care of them as much as we could. They certainly also needed to be with Garnet, right? Because they were so scared and worried about you. So I helped out where needed and helped out with food and groceries, but I remember, when we were able to go and visit you in the hospital, and

09:38 You know, I hadn't talked to you on the phone or anything. And we I went with Diane and Kristen and I remember that I should bring chocolate chocolate. Seems like some chocolate. So Aaron ideal, but it wasn't, you know, so, you think anyway, I brought it up there. We got to your hospital room. And you know, you were having challenges with swallowing you were Scrappy on to a wheelchair that when it became. So, apparently the garden to told me, but I think until my eyes saw you and were there with you in the hospital room.

10:25 You know, just how serious this was. Yeah, it was really very interesting to hear because I was thinking, you know, again what I associated with the stroke, my face wasn't drooping. So I was thinking, oh, you know, when when people see me, they're going to think I'm fine because, because, my face looks fine. And it hadn't, really, I hadn't thought about the fact that being in a wheelchair or a hospital bed, or without makeup that I always wear you do any of those? Those things that people look at to see, then I'm fine. We're not there. And that's, I know, I could tell on the kids faces that they were, but they were shocked. And yes, even though I was sitting in bed and I didn't, you know, I didn't think there were any markers of that. But, but clearly there were. Yeah, but you know what? You always kept was your attitude and just like you

11:25 The names of the doctors in the ER, that I see you or colors than that, you know, I think it's brown, but you know, when we were in the visiting you in the hospital, you know, I always had such an upbeat attitude and even in the early days and I'm thinking about, how

11:45 How you could make this a positive part of your life and I think that that is so awesome about you. Michelle. You are. Just so wonderfully optimistic and upbeat and I don't know. It's just been really inspirational to be with you throughout this journey. Thank you. You're the best. Thank you. It was, I'm the lucky one. I think. Yeah. I mean, we had a lot of laughs. And, and that was, that's really something. I mean, my family, you know, my, my children has been my mom. We had a lot of laughs. When I was so for my stroke. It was my right side and I'm right-handed. So there was a lot of work getting back to where I, where I was, I'm still working on that and so I couldn't use my my right arm. I couldn't walk, I couldn't swallow. And do you remember my voice being croaky too? Cuz I got out of

12:45 People talking. But yeah, I was really croaky. Like I've been screaming at a concert or something. It's really strange. Yeah, and I couldn't swallow couldn't eat the chocolate. Somebody ate those chocolates are in. I don't know who it was.

13:07 Yeah, at first I had this little God, I still have it. Next me. I have it on the windowsill this little green sponge that they gave me was the only thing cuz I couldn't drink water, so I could just suck on the sponge and then I moved up to

13:23 Like smoothies, you know, like a really thick drinks and then and then like slowly back up to food, but I still, I mean, even still, I mean, I drink out of a straw still call, you know, there are some things that have kind of lasted. But yeah, we we had a lot of laughs. I I remember at the time I was, you know, how when you cough you like put your arm up, you know, and you like coffins your arm, I would try to do that. What's that? That's right. Yeah, so, you know you do that and it's kind of habit and you do it with the arm that you're used to using. And so if I felt like I had the cough just on have it, I would put my right arm up and I would punch myself in the face every time because I couldn't I could not control my arm. And honestly, I thought I really thought it was funny like legitimately funny and and I would laugh at it and my family would laugh at it.

14:23 Kind of a joke, you know, where my leg would shake when it was killing everybody. Like at the dinner, table would start shaking their leg, like in solidarity. And so, we had, you know, we did have some laughs about it and I could tell you're laughing and I could tell you're laughing. And I could tell the people who kind of got it by the people who were laughing because they kind of understood my take on it and that, you know, it was kind of interesting and it was kind of, you know, it was a journey. It was, it still is hard work being in the hospital with you and you

15:00 You know, being positive and upbeat, but it was a short visit. I mean, you did not have a very weak and tired and hearing you talk about the lack of loss of filter. That happens when someone has a stroke. I thought was just so interesting and how much work it is to just stay focused on conversations and information.

15:31 Yeah, there was a lot of energy. I think, one of the big things I learned is how much energy we devote to tasks that we think are small. And once I had true finite energy to go around, I really had to divide that very carefully. So I think loss of filter is a good term because there were many levels where I lost filter visually for sure, and I'm still struggling with that. And by the way, dr. Green and dr. Brown made me throw up on the daily because they would do things to my eyes. That, you know, that were very difficult. I had to follow life. I had to, you know, do you know play games where I would need to track something and so it was, it was constant work with them and so the visual filter and still I'm one of those people. Now, as an epileptic wood that has trouble with flashing lights and I have to be careful of that kind of thing because it exhaust me and makes me queasy and so the visual filter for sure and one of

16:31 Therapist had described it as most, people have a screen door between them and, you know, whatever is outside and that my screen door, people who have this kind of injury has a hole in it and some more things are getting through and you just don't have that layer of protection. So that's, I mean, certainly over the years. It's gotten smaller, but I think to some extent when I'm tired, I can tell. I mean, I really, when I'm done, I'm done. So for sure. And with conversation may also, I was away. I was in rehab for a month. I was gone for almost exactly. I'm on 30, 31 days. And when I came back, they actually sent me up. They had me practice with a schedule. And they would say, you know, people could come to visit 15 minutes max and I was very just an Abbasid Unapologetic about saying that sorry I'm done and that's what a lesson, right? And then if we could do that more often in our lives that, you know, two really

17:31 No, our bodies know when we're done. No to listen to it. And know how to tell other people that that's over, you know, you have to go in and moms. We, it's hard to do that, right? To kind of set those boundaries of time and making sure we're taking care of our head. All right? That night, you had the stroke with everybody else sick. I think you were being the taking care of the family. And yeah, but not to mention the concerns about cost of calling an ambulance and they're probably just so yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah, I thought about that to yah. Yah. We we often think that we're overstating our concerns. And yeah, that was that was a big lesson on many levels that I you know, certainly we should have called sooner but we didn't think that it was problematic and I dismiss it and one.

18:31 It happens then I was forced to come to terms with those boundaries and say, you know, this is, this is all I have energy for this. Is it when I, when I went to the did you cuz you came a couple times, right? Did you visit in the when I was an intense rehab to, I think you came. I could eat chocolate. Then again. I kept bringing them over two years now because it's kind of a joke. We've we've tasted chocolate from all around town and we were away from the house for a month. And yeah, I'm in rehab and tell some of those stories about when you're in rehab. I know you felt like, you had wonderful care, but I also know the rehab was, oh, yeah, it was super intense. It was actually, you were contracted to do a certain amount of hours of rehab a day. So they

19:31 The hospital floor was one floor and then the rehab was another floor, so they come get you, I was in the wheelchair. I went home in a walker. So I was in a wheelchair for that whole month. And so, you will down, and then you do, either Physical Therapy, occupational, therapy, speech therapy, or they also had recreational therapy where they would you stand up for short periods of time and, you know, play Wii Sports or something like that. And so you do one of those for about an hour each time and then they will get back up and you don't have lunch or whatever and then go back down. So you had to do, I can't remember how many hours it was, but it was definitely work. It was very, very hard work and my main symptom that followed. And I know you, we've talked about this so many times and I've fallen down at your house and broken stuff. So, but vertigo was my main issue afterwards.

20:31 And I would go to do, I mean they were trying to get me to stand up and to walk around and so they would push it, they would really push it and I would very often. I would have to stop in the middle at the half-hour Point wheel backup. Go get medicine for nausea and wheel right back down and they did not, they did not want you to stop like they would they would push. So yeah, I mean it was it was but it was the way to get better. It was the the absolute fit me. It was the absolute best way for me, but it was, it was fun too. It was, there was a fun to it. We would all at the beginning of the hour, everybody who was there would meet in the lobby and wait for our therapist to come out. And I met some really interesting people, several of the people. There, were way younger than I was who had severe injuries or had just come from surgeries or, and they were from all over Olive.

21:31 Oregon, you know, lots of different places and and everybody would, you know, some of us could talk better than others. Some of us could stand up. But we all, you know, what kind of Nod to each other and see each other on. And there was a real it was it was there was a lot of solidarity there and I there were some really tough moments. I mean obviously but there was one guy who would scream in the night and we all heard him. And so that was kind of you know, we all wake up and my roommate would say there's that guy screaming so that, you know, you hear that every night. One woman next to me in therapy would burst into tears that she couldn't afford to pay for the therapies that we were having. So you kind of saw everything that was around you at the same time as you know, taking in your own, your own therapy, but there was also a lot of Joy there. I mean we had we would, when we got well enough, they would put on music that we

22:31 Dancing, we would, you know, what's what am I with one of my parents said, they would try to get you back to the life that you the life that you had before. But yeah, I was just going to ask you what you what it was like for you to visit over the time like as you saw over the month, you know, cuz I was in three different places too. So

23:07 Well, it's wonderful to see the progress that you made wonderful to see how hard you worked. And what wonderful to see the support of your family and friends and how loved you are. Your mom came out right away. How long was your mom visiting for?

23:25 Oh, so what's here? She did stay here. I think it was about what she was here when I got back. So it was at least a month and then Garnett's mom came for about a month. Yeah, they switched off. And I think they overlapped again. We had some time like when the summer began when when we were alone, that's when you all really did a lot. You were bringing dinners and you were really if it made it way easier for us, and then, and then Garnett's mom. And then, my mom came back and overlapped, I think again, in July that year. So,

24:07 So that was for the surgeries. Yes. So, when they did, of course, ton of tests on my brain at the time when I had the stroke, they found an aneurysm on the other side of my brain completely unrelated to the stroke, but they said while we're looking, we found this other thing and it's got to be dealt with. So they decided to to wait a couple months and honestly are in it, you know, it it really seemed to me like the stroke may have saved my life because I didn't know what the aneurysm would come to, they didn't know what it would come to. So, you know, those things that seem like horrible things turn out to be, you know, in another context. Turn out to be real life savers, right? So, you know, you could see it that way. Describe the surgery though.

24:57 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I got to be honest with you that with three kids that, you know, how it is cuz your mom. And we talked about this God. It was really like a vacation. I have to, I hate to say it because brain surgery is brain surgery, but wow, like, I mean, it was a lot and it was summer time and my kids were little and they needed me. And so I'm so I was the therapist would laugh. I would say, I'm kind of looking forward to it and get to beat you do. Yeah, not that they were doing that already but still so yeah, so I went in and I will to be serious though. I mean, of course, as you say it's not it wasn't all rainbows and it was, it was, you know, what, you go into something like that. It was different than the stroke because the stroke was thrust upon me, but the surgeries I knew that day I was going in and

25:57 All kinds of things could go wrong. So I had to prepare, make sure I told everybody, I love them, wrote a letter to my kids. Made sure that you know, that anything I wanted to say or do was taking care of that. It could be my last day to do that when I went in. So there definitely was that gravity there. And so when had the surgery felt like crap afterwards throwing up again a lot and then they came in at the end of the day and said they were it was by the optic nerve and so they had to be really conservative when they clipped it.

26:38 So they came in and said we were conservative, but we didn't get it all. We have to go back in and do it again and Garnet, was there at that time? And, you know, I was so anesthetize. I was like, okay to say, no, you're not going to say no. It's they got to do it again and then came out and just pray that it was. You do that. It was, they got it all and they did. So, it was two surgeries. But that was, that was, you know, I was still post-stroke early days. I was still having trouble walking and, and all of that. So, so I wasn't completely Lucid, you know, the way that I am now or hope to be even more. But, but I was aware of my body and I was aware of my care. And there was a time when they, I mean, I truly was like Frankenstein, I did you see OB

27:38 Is this stitches were under my hair? Kind of? Do you remember? Did you see me? And you can I know you felt that you can still feel the plate and then you know, the bump and everything. Yeah, and so there was one time when they were stitching up, they just had like there was a stupid coming out of my head crazy. It's so wild and they Stitch that up. I mean, it was just a couple stitches. They just did it and and they must have ripped and the and the doctor had turned her back and I felt this I mean I would know but I felt this out cuz it was the tumors on my right side. So I was numb anyway, I'm still numb on my face on my right side and I felt this like dust coming down and I was like to see you spell water on me or what and it was blood. I mean the stitches it opened up like Frankenstein and then she turned around and said

28:38 Is there, you know, the clean me up? And I mean that, yeah, they learn that straight face. I guess it was, it was something. But yeah, so then I came back. I think I was in all I was in and out fast. I mean, brain surgery. You use that as the gold standard. Yeah, but it was even brain surgeries not brain surgery. It wasn't, it didn't seem that big of a deal honestly. I mean, no, I said, are you going to let me out already? And they said, there's nothing wrong with you. And I said, well, I think I said, I think actually, I said, but your brownies are so good and they said, take the home. Have a good day. Bye. Know. What are the thing? So I

29:29 No, I was going to ask you, what, what you remember from that time over that summer and what, you know, remember, your drive to keep writing and, you know, college, professor. You been teaching for a while at PCC and teaching reading and writing, but you've always long as I've known you. I've been a writer and so when you, after you had the stroke, I remember you kind of ship game when you could write a, right. I mean, just holding a pencil in front of the computer, as really a challenge.

30:13 Writing about a stroke in your ear and send before you had the stroke. I remember bill and I went to the Village. Yes.

30:37 That's true. I working on my handwriting was one of the main things that I that I wanted to get back. And I would practice with my right hand just writing and writing and writing and writing until I can do it again. And I can also write with my left hand now, which is really bizarre. Something happened in my brain. That's my superpower. So that's that's what I got from it and a lot of other great things too. But yeah, I did. And I started writing about it and I've had a couple things published about that, and I also got a tattoo that, you know, before having a surgery is one of the things when you go through something like that, is that you have to as is cliche. Think about what really matters, think about what you haven't done, think about, you know, all of that. And and the thing that kept coming to my mind was writing that I wanted to write more publish more share the story share.

31:37 Other things that I had on my mind, share my, you know, all of these thoughts that were running around. And so the tattoo that I got, instead of, you know, stroke survivor, something like that was was some parentheses. Because when I started writing again, my mind would even just to say my mind wandering is not right. Because it wasn't like that it was blank. It was flat-out blank like there was nothing in my head. And so I would have moments as I was coming back from it where I would be writing or talking and then nothing like not even I don't think you saw this but there were times when the therapist was taught me and I could not even though it was like, not even a foreign language. It was found. It was nothing. So I would put parentheses when I was writing practicing again when I had had that moment and you can see through my journals, like at the beginning or parentheses on almost every line and then now, you know, every once in awhile, so that's the tattoo that I got was to rent the Seas and some quote marks just to remind myself.

32:37 So now I'm letting my arm. I know that's what I want to do. That's still what I want to do. That's where that's what I got from it. And yeah, and so and and we've been we still stayed such good friends. We walk our dogs and we do, we still talk about it and if in a really positive way and you're still so supportive and still bring me chocolate, think about like how, how did that kind of in the immediate aftermath change your relationship with your family must have had two and your friends, right? I mean you go home, you're you were working, but I'll see you or, you know, taking care of those kids, you did after school, you. And I remember, we started that at our local drumming Club.

33:29 Put our elementary school didn't have funding for music. So you and I got this cool driving club and I'm you have been active and involved, right? And then immediately after I was actually, I don't know if you remember this, but I was PTA president. When I had the stroke and that was that, that was my joke to everyone at school was that? That's what caused it cuz it is pretty stressful relationship with your friends and family and then kind of long-term stupid question, but I think, especially with Robert, my oldest things change because he was 10:11 when it happened, then he remembers it. And he remember, he ran in, in the night to ask, if he should call 911, we should have. So he understood. He was on it and he's as you know, he's big for his age is Big. Daddy 16.

34:29 And he was one of the people who had to learn how to hold me up. If I fell. So before I went home from rehab, they had him come and go through all of the, you know, they had to watch him watching me in the Walker. I had to pretend to fall and you would help me up. And that was something that I did not expect would happen for another 40 years and it was hard for him to, I don't know if it was hard for him. He, you know, at the time he said, I understand the circumstances I, yes, he did, and I still see that in him. I still see that, he's he's there for me and with everybody else. I think that they, they like, I do forget sometimes what happened and I think that that I used to get mad about it, but I think that now, it kind of shows that we're healing and that where do you know where you're really living when you're not thinking about every step that you take, and that's that,

35:30 What I can do now and most of the time and that's when we go out together you and I you know, there's a lot less of you know, you remember a couple years ago. You're always kind of had one hand on me, you know, making sure.

35:47 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, what now you're driving yourself places. I mean, it was a couple years before you can't drive.

35:55 Now, you're writing team down, you know, down south in the dark. Yeah, right. Yeah, and I think with my friends like you and like you seen, I don't think I ever really had a problem asking for help but I think knowing, you know, as I get healed, I listen to myself less as we all do. And so you are all do remind me, you know, and and because you saw it and I forget and so you do remind me. Are you sure you want to do that? Maybe that's too much. Are you sure you can walk up that hill? So those are the you know, everyone was looking out for me and they still do enough. That's the beauty of it. Is that that closeness that that you see people really, really come through.

36:52 It was really.

36:55 That's the beauty of your friendship is that you look out for me to write. And so thankful. You're my friend. I am to Aaron. We've been through a lot together that a lot. And those are, those bonds, are those, bonds are, you know, I've said before, I haven't been to war and I haven't been to prison. But I imagine that a lot of those super hard experiences that you share with other people that are, you know, beyond your control in a lot of ways that it makes you feel that bond with the people who you were there with, at that time. And that's how I feel about you. And it strengthened with my family and other friends and people who were there. That you saw me in a way that no one else could. And, you know, and that's very, very special. So I'm very lucky to have you.

37:55 Physically, how do you manage recovering from the trauma of having been through a really intense? Scary experience?

38:04 Yeah, that's a good question because at the time again, it was so blank up in my head that I wasn't processing emotions at all. And I was yeah, I was very unfeeling and now that I'm starting to do well and that's what the doctor said that, you know, a year, so out, you're going to start to feel those effects. And that's when you really have to think about that, that processing, the trauma, and I'm still doing that. There are still things that trigger me in ways. I didn't expect the last time I went to the dentist. I had a cavity to fill and they gave me the numbing medicine and it was on my right side and suddenly I couldn't feel my right? The right side of my mouth anymore and I freaked out. So those are those are not things that I would have expected. You know, I just didn't think about it. But when I'm in that moment again, then I'm afraid of it when I wasn't afraid of it then. So yeah, so is life, goes on your thinking about that, but I'm not thinking about

39:04 Everyday anymore. I used to. This is good at bad. I don't know. I used to get out of bed and say hello to my legs every morning and just thank them for working. And I don't, I don't do, I don't have to do that anymore. I'm choosing to do it. So that's different. And that's you know, that's a lot different, a lot better in a lot of ways you are back together of a mom with three kids and friends, who love you very much and good support. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so grateful Aaron. Thank you so much. I am so grateful for your friendship and looking forward to being friends for the rest of our lives, huh? Yep. Be there for each other. It's great. Thank you. Love you, Michelle.

39:54 I love you, too, Aaron. Look at us. Look at us. 40 minutes. Exactly.