Rachel Pearson and Benjamin Laussade

00:02 My name is Rachel Pearson. And I'm 37 years old today is August 26th. 2020. I'm at home in San Antonio, Texas. I will be doing this interview with Ben lassad, who is my husband.

00:20 And my name is by Mossad. I am 38 years old. Today is August 26th 2020.

00:28 And I am also at home in San Antonio Texas the name of my interview partner is Rachel Pearson, and she is my wife.

00:38 I'm just into being my wife. She is the mother of my child and at some point last year you find out you were pregnant. He was in November.

00:58 Cute dinner party at our neighbors Lamar's house, and I really wanted to have a adult beverage.

01:10 Specifically a martini yeah, but I thought well I should probably take a pregnancy test. It was positive.

01:24 And so that whole night. I pretended that I was on call and then I might have to go to the hospital at any moment so that I didn't have to tell all of our neighbors.

01:39 There was already like

01:41 Lady going into this that are listed ever Higher by the news.

01:51 Why did?

01:53 Do you wear socks?

02:05 On that time. There was no particular.

02:17 One of those start revving up.

02:19 Yeah, well, that's so true when we got pregnant.

02:25 It was before the coronavirus was a thing. I'm so

02:32 I thought that it would be like a normal pregnancy for a pediatrician.

02:43 You know, we would do all the normal stuff link have a baby shower and

02:49 You know, you could be my friend and family always been scared about.

03:02 That having small kids would be really isolating. And so I always I thought okay, we're safe. We move to Texas or close to our parents were close to friends. I have a flexible job. Like you have everything lined up to have a pregnancy that feels like happy and safe and we were like finally ready and it was November. So then we started hearing about the fire in December and January and then it was

03:39 Getting really serious here in the state.

03:48 Do you think that it's our fault for trying to have major life events? Cuz last time we got married Trump delegates.

03:59 Yeah, I don't think it's our fault.

04:03 Pandemic

04:16 Is your job and what risks are there that you will have to be and you would have had to be or might still have to be near these viruses pediatrician and I'm actually a Hospital pediatrician. So I take care of kids too. And I love my job. It's so great.

04:48 During some of the most Gary but also important moments in their lives and help them out and smart and take good care of them, which is what I try to do.

05:08 But being a Hospital pediatrician meeting at work in the hospital and so

05:16 My job is to take care of kids were sick. And at that time when the virus was just starting to ramp up and we were early in pregnancy. Nobody really knew.

05:35 Dan hospital was safe. That was one thing people would ask me like

05:46 What are you doing here? You know, why? Are you still here? You should not be here. Once they knew I was pregnant.

05:56 And

05:58 Because yeah, we didn't know if it was going to affect the kids and utero, or if it was going to affect babies for young kids and problems with pregnancy. Like you didn't know if it would cost me.

06:14 If you do, is there anything we didn't know anyting can I be there?

06:30 We're up in the air. Yeah, what was that? Like for you not knowing if you would like you didn't get to come to the doctor's appointment.

06:43 It was a bummer. Just not to be able to be there with you for the other ones. But as you know, we tend to agree with the reasons why I wouldn't be allowed.

07:11 Betty I was really worried about how the virus would affect giving birth in the hospital you were but I was also worried like

07:27 I was worried. I was going to be positive for Coronavirus because you know, they test all the women coming in for delivery and I delivered really at the height of the pandemic in San Antonio, Texas. I mean, honestly and we went in on the 27th to the 28th of July in San Antonio or hospital was that capacity positivity rate for testing was around 20% I mean it was as bad as that God.

08:11 So

08:15 I was scared that if I tested positive then I have to be in isolation and I was scared that I would get isolated from the baby or that he would be sick or I would be sick.

08:35 What were the chances that you who would have called in to work? The things have gotten so we're not like the doctors at the center of the

08:53 You know work with respect and Cyrus. I'm not an ICU doctor and not an adult doctor and what we've learned over time. Is that kids some kids get extremely sick from coronavirus, but in general kids are less likely to to get sick. Some of them definitely do but we haven't been through.

09:27 Background music

09:32 I don't know the answer.

09:44 Search for cadavers and things like that we had for mortgage for overwhelmed. We stopped accepting transfers of some patients who we would have accepted in the past because San Antonio is like a hub hospital for all of South, Texas.

10:13 We pediatricians were called across kind of lines to recover adult patients in to serve on the palliative care service.

10:26 We opened up every possible space in the hospital to take patient. We had nurses and doctors sent to our Hospital in to be from like Army doctors and army nurses came and

10:43 I mean it got it got that I got that.

10:50 That's the thing that people who are

10:54 I'm sure and whatever way they are unsure about that.

11:02 Drastic, missive of this virus feel like if they could all take a glimpse inside of one of the hospitals. They would realized it and at least one place things are very far from normal to see

11:17 And there was some terrifying footage of

11:21 Hospitals for some places book

11:23 Send text to talk to people about it, cuz then I guess there is such.

11:36 Yeah, I felt like there were times in the hospital felt.

11:42 Really save like safer then.

11:46 The rest of the world because we all got our temperature shocked and we all wear masks and we all follow the rules and we all did you know everything we could

11:58 And I think if I hadn't been pregnant.

12:03 I know.

12:06 The hospital would have felt pretty safe. But just the fact that Sammy was with me the whole time. Sometimes I felt like I was being irresponsible, you know taking him there. Yeah.

12:24 Like I wasn't keeping him safe.

12:28 Well you were.

12:36 How did everything go?

12:44 Care I was so nervous. I was there like so much unknown. There's so much unknown.

12:52 And then

12:55 We went into the hospital.

12:58 I tested negative for the Coronavirus.

13:01 You know and then you have this amazing.

13:05 Delivery I mean

13:08 It was like what was I in labor for like 12 hours or something? And then you remember from when he was born?

13:23 When he was born.

13:27 I I guess I was expecting.

13:32 We're not expecting but

13:34 I thought they would be this kind of like a blank template of a person they're arriving clear immediately that this was a specific person.

13:51 And that's what it was. I was what was surprising to me.

14:02 Other than that, I mean, I just think we got very lucky. I do all kind of counts even just as far as

14:10 No, horrible attracted labor. No, no Grand tradition babies everything.

14:19 In the midst of all this crap you another world. Everything went pretty good for us.

14:26 I guess one of the things I wonder about his.

14:30 Why I feel a little guilt from things being so nice for us right now.

14:40 Help people are struggling but also you may or may not have just missed out on some work. That would have been.

14:48 Otherwise, yeah, that's actually one of the most.

14:54 Really moving things about

15:00 The whole experience was my friend's my colleagues.

15:05 In care of me like

15:08 Mae

15:11 Mae

15:13 Group hospitalist, it's just nine of us, you know, most of the people.

15:20 Our hospital is a county hospital. So it takes care of everybody who's you know, everybody, everybody who is mostly adults, but there's there's one floor of Pediatrics and that's ours and I guess there's like the nursery

15:45 There's little eyes pediatric ICU. And there's a cardiac ICU, but the hospital is 9 Square small group, and they decided really early on that. They didn't want me to

16:09 Patients who were known positives and so from the from basically, you know, by the time I was telling people about the pregnancy.

16:21 The panda make was kind of starting to be a thing and then it was about the middle of my second trimester that we started seeing coronavirus patient and my group just decided that they would build it into the protocol. Basically that there would always be somebody covering so that if I was on somebody else's see the Cove in patients and they never made me feel

16:57 Guilty about it like nobody ever like said two words about it. They just

17:03 You know took on extra work to protect me and Sam.

17:13 Do you have any of your colleagues are people in the air sort of satellite system in that hospital?

17:26 I don't know about the adult doctors. Yeah.

17:32 In my small group so far. We've been okay. Yeah.

17:40 Geographical look exposed or Seattle. Again. We got really lucky in a way, which is that not being in the first wave in the US by the time it got. Here we had time to do.

18:08 PB and science it was starting to develop around how to care for those patients into the survival rate for a little higher by the time I got back here.

18:31 If we had more time Advance warning than the teams in New York dead.

18:37 But then we also felt like jackasses because we could have done a lot more with that amount of weed time to prevent it from getting bad here openly. Hold on the people.

18:54 Now that's not really our story but

19:02 We had seemingly terrible timing, but great luck.

19:11 Wouldn't have to give birth in a refugee camp presents.

19:25 One of the

19:34 One of the things that was really eat.

19:38 Like

19:40 Hard about being pregnant during the pandemic was like

19:46 Because everyone was trying to do social distancing right and it is certain that you should limit at any age.

20:02 No excess socializing but I never felt like as long as I was working the hospital, I never felt like it was safe for me to see you even are really close family members.

20:17 We didn't see my parents. We didn't see your parents when we saw the beach. Once I think when I had a stretch right has been in the hospital for 10 days, but you imagine with the pregnancy that you're going to again be surprised family. But because I thought my body was more likely have the virus because I kept working in the hospital. We didn't see our family that whole time.

20:50 My family was on the same page. They were probably even more.

21:03 What was it like for you when I was going to the hospital. Were you worried or what? What did you think it was?

21:12 Just that's the way it will be. You know, you have a demanding job.

21:20 What time your body is needed than another other places and sometimes that's it. The hardest Of All Times. Didn't really

21:31 I guess I accepted it.

21:36 Quickly as I could with this pretty quick then there's nothing to do about it.

21:40 And people at the same time that people are doing for you helping you avoid virus when I'm not going to sit here and make my my wife work. So I just

21:57 He's one of my ignoring something about reality.

22:04 LOL, I just didn't I didn't allow myself to dwell on it. I'm not into it for some right over certain things but not like

22:15 General

22:17 Like life danger doesn't really

22:21 Fall under that usually pretty able to put stuff like, you know.

22:36 If I can see you quickly that worrying is not going to help the situation.

22:44 I tried to do is focus more on seeing how you were feeling you feel better.

22:52 Angie

22:53 Do you think that and then I began things changed the way like your process of becoming a death?

23:03 I do think about it the same way.

23:09 Well, I might have been a lot busier right now. There's a lot of

23:15 Gigs that I did not play when big Music Festival South by Southwest come to Texas in great numbers.

23:32 I don't I think.

23:35 It could have affected my

23:39 It could have affected me if I hit France has not been allowed to be in the hospital or if something you haven't.

23:49 I think as far as me.

23:52 Transitioning from not fatherhood to Motherhood that usually really got a beautiful easy way to do it.

24:00 Handed down unemployment as an act of God.

24:08 Although I wasn't I had not been working them for a while, but they're all closed down or working in a limited capacity and there's no restaurants and then there's no music really going on and not person to person.

24:29 Music lessons, which is nothing. I was starting to drive up and I'm sorry basically got to be on vacation and

24:41 Now that I know you got to be really got super lucky use know. We are grown the first week if anything we

24:58 Got shamefully lucky with all of this happening when it did that we didn't have any.

25:10 I even got to have more visitors in the hospital than most people get because my friends all work at the hospital really nice and our babies first doctor was Kelsey my boss 2 again is one of these people who took an extra work to protect me and Sam during pandemic and

25:39 It just seemed in a lot to have her be the person who you know made sure you was safe and checked his card and

25:51 You know what came over and told me excellent baby looks healthy. I really trust her.

25:59 So you didn't have to deal much with wife?

26:03 You're never on the floor and then there's that you never had to deal in the hospital with white covid-19.

26:12 There were some.

26:16 For the most part, I think they're there were people there.

26:21 Did not believe it was going on Lee patients and parents of my patient, but they didn't really push it.

26:33 Play sometimes people would make little off-handed comment about having to wear the masks and stuff, but they didn't.

26:41 Push it

26:43 Maybe being in the hospital.

26:49 Yeah, I mean that wasn't saying about being in the hospital that whole time. Was that working there you you know where the coping unit is, you know where that crooked units are and so the code calls like when somebody somebody's heart sounds are somebody starts stops breathing and they have to call a code that call goes out over head. And so wherever you are in the hospital you hear it on the overhead speakers. There's Sammy that you hear the code and not so that if you're a person who needs to be there, like you're the anesthesiologist or you're the resident take care of that patient and whoever you are you hear it and you run to that room to help that person but during the pandemic it was like

27:47 Code blue to that unit over and over again, you know, we we all heard those calls over and over and that made it feel really real even when you were working like

28:07 I had heard about these calls from you never having with them. But when I did hear some for myself a surprise.

28:20 Read off by people who were sounding really alarmed Mister so-and-so. Please report to the nearest locations to know what I think is when there's a fire in the hospital actually.

29:05 We are what else should we talk about?

29:11 I guess we could talk about like what what we think life is going to be like for Sam.

29:24 It's real hard to say right now.

29:29 I know what will try to do for him and I will try to help him but I don't know what the landscape is going to be a lot of depending on next few months, but you know, he could either.

29:44 Come of age.

29:51 Normal time or a college? Maybe you will be free by the time he's terribly far in the future is history for Sight right now for many people is like 3 months. Just hope there's Again by the time you score.

30:29 And then I'll go back to the hospital in October. I'll start working again and that'll be

30:41 Probably going to be coronavirus season again.

30:46 So we'll have to decide how much organized late again.

30:56 One thing is better. Now is that

31:00 We know so much more.

31:03 For example, we have data from the hospital that shows that actually healthcare workers are not catching it at work.

31:12 We're here. Yeah from Milesburg have died. But in San Antonio so far when healthcare workers have caught it. They mostly caught it from social situations. They haven't caught that from being at work. And so. Helps me feel a little bit safer and whatever happens to your body now is also happening to a different body.

31:57 Dr. Fierros

32:00 Fear of getting it

32:06 For no real reason those assume that if I got it I probably would be asymptomatic just cuz I barely get sick. I know if I have the same thing right thing like oh, I probably wouldn't get that sick. But I know you know from practicing medicine. You never know. You never know. It could be anybody.

32:35 But I know it's been long enough that we've been isolating this.

32:41 Not the fruits that are shown by both had a long time ago or we never did because we were both pretty introverted.

33:02 But

33:04 I feel like her household has been pretty happy to me and now Sam.

33:18 I like it when you have a man-to-man talks with them.

33:30 BBQ

33:38 Big old baby

33:44 I don't know. My mind is definitely full of thoughts on things, but they're

33:49 Particular

34:00 Let me see if there any stories we should tell from the time.

34:08 Oh, well, I'll say there was one time.

34:15 The one time during the pregnancy where I really felt

34:21 Sad about the way that the virus was affecting. It actually was the first time you couldn't come into the doctor's office if you remember that.

34:34 We were in the lobby and they said you know that you couldn't come.

34:40 And that was the one time I really felt sorry for myself and like broke down and cried because

34:50 Even though I was going to the hospital every day at that point it finally felt like the coronavirus has actually affecting us and changing the way that we would welcome our baby into the world.

35:08 Well

35:09 Yeah, that was no fun.

35:21 And then

35:23 I guess.

35:36 Trying to steal another.

35:49 How many questions can you clarify what you were like what your experience of hearing Ben have his man-to-man conversations with Sam?

36:05 Yeah, so you'll be like, you know having Sammy daddy FaceTime where he lies in the pillow and look for you and you look at him and I hear you encourage him. You're like, hey, dude.

36:24 Use your abs or like

36:34 Changing his diaper and you've been like

36:40 You can do this. Damn, you know, you're okay. You're okay. You can handle this.

36:47 And that's pretty cool to forget or to fail to realize cuz he's a little baby that he's safe.

37:00 Indistinguishable mutterings that roll out of my oversized lyrics for just like Rumble in the making of sentences stream of consciousness.

37:17 Mostly just stood and I want to know my voice so hopefully I can.

37:26 For some, want to advise you like that.

37:30 That would be cool if you can pull that off your love you.

37:39 It is kind of amazing know that we do feel like we can keep him safe and yet we're like we can we can do this like we can keep this kid say if we can protect them.

38:04 How do you think you'd explain this time in your lives to him like stay in 20 years?

38:18 I wonder if there would be a way I could explain it to him that would be meaningful to him because we did not suffer very many privations, you know people who was like, yeah this time we were both unemployed Lebanon not as much stuff as many as have and will employ them. We had a vacation. Maybe that's a big say you got real lucky.

38:59 It's also

39:03 It's one of yours. This this might not even be like the main headline coronavirus really interesting friend and know that he was like he was before in the middle of it.

39:31 And so he like in his body and in his life he kind of marks what feels to me like a big turning point for the whole world time will tell how much of a turning point it is, but it feels like this pandemic is change things and ways will be finding out about 4 years and years.

39:59 And Sammy is changing things in Waze.