Rachel Schonbaum and Jacob Shkrob

00:04 Hi Rachel song about I'm 20 years old from Chicago. Today is Thursday, January 21st. 2021. Today is Jacob job and he is one of my greatest friends.

00:19 Hello, my name is Jacob REO scrub. I'm 20 years old and from Chicago. Today is Thursday, January 21st. 2021. This is Rachel Sean Bond, and I'm also her close friend.

00:35 Afci, I think it's a little funny. I feel like I haven't spoken much her socially interactive many people Eliza Surfer gun talk like a house has been back in Chicago being with family after school.

00:58 Without anybody to complain with their talk to that often having at least parents around is always really nice. Like at least they're the parents and it's not nobody right even though they're not that many friends around. It's it's nice that we talked with your mom. Like she's your friend on your apartment or did you ever make a comeback?

01:35 Like they would go shopping or they would buy some random groceries and make cookies and stuff like that. I was always super until working. So I wouldn't have any time to actually do any of that stuff and eventually they all left quite early and I was I was there for like like 2 weeks alone. I was terrible freaking terrible man. I mean, yeah, I got here for like a few days by myself and then I ended up watching those many animated horror films scared and at the end I like at the end of the semester like what exactly occurred work. I'm classes and stuff. It was when I came back here for the start.

02:36 I guess like along the same lines if I was thinking about this earlier. I was wondering I don't actually know what you what you are afraid of.

02:49 What is my darkest fear, I mean?

02:55 Yeah, I like I think like this year, especially I'm very scared of being alone.

03:02 Or like I'm scared to not say the last things that I need to say to somebody before they leave I think or having like without without having any guidance. I think you're having this year is terrible that that you know. Two times in my 8 my father got into some scary territory in terms of getting injured and getting sick and stuff. And so, you know, it made me think a lot about mortality and how easy it is to lose somebody and how are you the only thing you really have remaining is the the memories and stuff so

03:54 Like yeah to be alone and not have any of their wisdom anymore. That's pretty scary and say like there's nothing scarier. I think I got you lies or the conversation lie with them that's that has changed as a result of those recent events. It was whorelike. I couldn't talk. Like I wasn't eating like that was a shity but you know, it's at some point like it was all okay, like things that ended up being okay, and now it's back to normal. But yeah, I know I I mean we do talk about this all the time in like they they're always saying, you know, we don't have much time a very Jewish greatest NFL Jewish thing and so bad. I feel so bad for you like

04:53 You see me that I'm like a healthy boy right with no problems and like I can eat quickly and metabolize everything and run around and stuff and not have any problems and you guys aren't doing as well as it does kind of suck in, you know to hear it to hear them feel bad about becoming older that kind of sucks. But I always try to lift their spirits up Joker joke about it in some way but like that. You know, it's still in me somewhere. I mean like

05:28 I told you this before but none of my mom got cancer. I was you like 2011. I think I look pretty similar response world's. I got shocked really intensely the first couple months and then you said watching Girl of the older the body aches.

06:01 Yeah, I think it is just don't really realize it until I guess like we're at that age where we're going to maybe eight years were going to be in family or something like that and then

06:16 And then they're going to be like much older and we will have to be taken like we'll have to contribute all of their time that they put it right into us and then they're going to need us back or they're going to need our support and need our help right and like I'm kind of like, I'm don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do at that point.

06:39 I really don't you think you this could just be again for like an outside perspective, but I feel like you to contribute a lot to your family eye shapes with their families. I got some other friends that have a responsibility the future is now so such a good supportive person, you know for my parents during their like their final time or I like to just just have them.

07:26 Know that I was like a good like a good son. I guess like that. I that I like re contribute to their happiness.

07:35 I guess how are your are your parents? Okay.

07:40 Yeah, yeah, they're very good. I mean like we have some problematic neighbors that make yeah, that was a little bit difficult going back to us over the break just to see how how much it actually affected my parents but between them I think they're doing cuz I really just want them to be.

08:06 Bike relieved of this constant straight and I'm like their minds they show you direct affection in my hand. And I guess I do they like support you and then you can see in you and you can you tap into that or the kind of laissez-faire and they just like you but you be I don't know either pretty cool. He's like my dad kind of like they just don't they work and stuff, but they don't

08:48 Do much besides work?

08:51 Yeah, I mean like I think I'm Different definitely like grown to appreciate the ways that I like my parents show their affection. It's never like actually it's been a funny development that I love you in Korean to my mom because it like yes, it was something I was said to me when I was kind of course, but as a joke, but yeah, I mean like

09:30 It's not like a showering of typical affection, but I see the appreciation that I have from you as well. I don't want to add additional strain to their lives until like whenever possible if I'm in my room. Do you think I deserve that jump into the future will actually not think about you much but what do you think like your family going to be like Jesus? Amen? I don't know. It's like I don't even think that I will be in this country anymore. Like I don't I don't know. It seems I'd like I see myself somewhere completely different not here anymore. But like maybe maybe Canada or maybe

10:28 Even like England or something crazy or maybe even Switzerland on all somewhere just like him or not here. I don't know but they're like in terms of family.

10:41 Maybe like a 30-30.

10:52 Don't know what they're going to be like a polar opposite. Maybe Melody, you know.

11:06 Yeah, I think so.

11:14 Like maybe one or two or something. I don't know like there's no.

11:20 Like I don't want them to be Commodities, you know about

11:33 I guess they should just be a natural extension of of of the next stages of life. Like I need to like children. I need children. So that life will continue right now because I want I want I want my next job now. I want to read my Venus like know it'll come it will come. Yeah. I like tons of our friends. I think Carter are not are not into that. I think like they're not ready for this kind of stuff will get better and people will be willing to just go nuts.

12:15 That's my Siri.

12:22 Rachel what's your goal? What's your what's your income bracket? It would be nice to be a b i l i want to be but yeah.

12:56 Well working corporate for a little bit good job move around a bit going to learn pretty quickly meet a lot of people explore different Industries. And I think I will like that for a. Of time. I might get bored with it and then but I am only already prepping the steps to put it back into something and I can see Mia. That's why I'm taking like that that you kind of classes right now.

13:39 I guess like four years ago, right? Where were you you were just in high school and you barely knew anything about what you want. I don't know what to make. Am I so I hope you like, how do you get there? Like what do you like? Why are you doing? This is so Random. Like what is your trajectory? Are you concerned that you have such a you either do have or don't have a linear trajectory for a while. You know, we're talking like a dynamic.

14:25 What's going to happen is that I'm going to kind of do the same thing over and over again, and then eventually I'm going to escape and do something else but maybe get cotton to that. Like I don't know. I don't really have any particular goals. Like I just have kind of plans, you know, they're there just you know steps that I want to achieve. I don't really have any direct plans. Like I'm not like I need to publish. I need to get an internship. You know, I need a girlfriend. No, that's not really. No. I just want to like at age. So and so people in half.

15:13 Orbitz like

15:16 Technically studying Dynamics and systems in physics and statistical physics. So this is all like familiar to me. This is all I mean venomous is my is interesting to me. Like I don't know. I don't know Rachel I think maybe

15:35 Like I do as a side hustle, like I definitely want to do like I want to become like a piano tutor or something on the side like something I'll do with my kids for sure. Like they're going to bite like I'm going to buy them a violin right or like I'll buy them like I'll see this kind of like an Avatar's. We're all lay out all these instruments and they're going to pick and choose like the instrument right? Like they're going to find like the xylophone and they're going to play on the xylophone and I will like I'll pick this up and find the perfect instrument and then I'll teach him everything.

16:09 That's for sure. I saw way too many documentaries of like a genius strategies or whatever and they all start like at age 1 and 1/2 months and they're already some Mozart or something up a piano. No, you got to start.

16:32 But like yeah, I think I do want to do that, you know, but yeah, I'm terms of like life and stuff. I don't know but I definitely enjoyed teaching we can get like I feel good about returning some knowledge. I think we're like interpreting things for 4 people has Broadway of describing interpreting for people but it's just like it's it's nice one like somebody I guess I understand something that you found really troubling and you explain it. Yes. This is going to be me asking you for Stuff help you study.

17:32 What do you think of something like really hard about the next 5 to 10 years for you or like what do you think is going to be the hardest thing and then I think even in the next 3 years or maybe in the next couple of years is going to be like very difficult. I think for most people but I think the hardest thing will be to get situated in in an actual lice.

18:08 You're really have a have like a house and live kind of normal and won't have to live with parents and you know, you'll be stable and you can support yourself and these things like I don't even know how I'm going to do that. I'm probably going to be student Forever Until. I'm almost 30 years old and like how do I feel about that? I don't know but like I won't be making a lot of money, you know, I'll be happy like I'll definitely be happy and we'll meet Imma Be Rich but yeah, that's next 5 to 10 years though. I don't know. I don't know. It's kind of hard for you or like what are you thinking about 5 to 10 years?

18:55 I can only I can only think of maybe like two people I know who I will see about that. I don't know who your friends are one of my friends relationship like super close like they thought they would live together forever, you know, but that didn't work out separated cousin relationships so they can give me good they were so good, right? They were so good and they still broke up like I'm fucked like I'm so

19:42 Remind me to do I have hope for you and you're going to find someone who looks like in parallel. Do you think there's anything that could jeopardize our friendship was awkward? Yeah. What was your response to that are like a how did it make you feel and

20:31 I don't know.

20:34 I was like damn I feel like if I was there things would be like if I could hang out or something or like there were if there was a way to remove like these kinds of stresses from life or like from your life. That would be that would be great. Cuz I don't know. I just think it consumes people so much like the prospects and and interviewing and stuff and I can't really say anything cuz I'm you know, I'm a mathematician like I don't need to do any of this kind of hard interviewing.

21:04 Preparation like the stuff really probably really stresses people out, you know, so like I couldn't fault you at all. I was just like damn cuz Rick nobody was calling me and I was like, okay I want to talk to what's up with Rachel and she's like, I mean, you're like crap job interview like aw crap. I don't know what to do. I can't help it was weird sounds I think I have a put a certain weight to it that a lot of people don't like it wasn't directly into the fact that these reasons and this is like reading this stress and then like, yeah, but

22:01 I wanted to be able to be there for you as well. I like obviously knew you know, you are so lonely like at the same time. I feel like whenever I did try and be there due to like my short-term like capacity interaction bring you down further because of my own with negative thoughts ever been in my entire life. I think with with other is like I don't talk at all with I mean naturally we don't talk cuz you're far away.

22:47 And I thought that maybe you could be here for a little longer and I can see that would be late. But yeah, I know I like at the time. Yeah, I was a little upset but I don't think I was upset in a way that would ruin anything between us. I was just like, you know, damn you're really going through a hard time and I don't know how I can help you and it's that kind of helplessness that like something with that will occur, you know, like there will be situations where like you you will have to make that decision without anybody else helping you and I mean, that's just the way it is. Like I'm not going to ask you to do my taxes or like

23:46 Like what like I don't I don't know how to make tough like super tough decisions. Like should I divorce a or b or something? I don't know so obviously won't ask you that.

24:08 And it might have been.

24:12 Yeah, I'm about to do. Don't worry about it. Okay, thanks demonstrate that like it was a. Of time that I was something like representative of our friendship is so I feel like I was defined in the summertime though, usually generally smooth and then once school starts immediately like spoken in it until we're done. We're like adults like super adults Omega and then what happens

25:15 But this is not yet. Do you have any favorite memories from school? I guess like you mentioned I guess hang out in the summer. And if for some reason I don't know ya fun, but he was always a terrible like she was like the worst candy Ray Ray know so I know he's like, I think I'll sort of closer in high school, but

26:09 How long do you like what Memories do you have for me? Please? Like your mom and she knew you and we will never remember it though. Like I don't remember it just stories in my mom kind of shares about what we did as youngsters, but I think we're just like probably.

26:54 Who you were in early in the early grades right out of nowhere and you always hung out with Megan. Whatever it is. It always going to be like, all right, they're pretty they're girls. So I'm not going to talk them or something like that. Like I said, I just didn't like I know I think I was pretty nervous around girls for for normal reasons like, you know cookies and so on so forth.

27:31 Whatever stuff so I think she's so great or something. But like I was really young and I didn't remember playing together. I just knew who you were just like they were or whoever like ugly around Middle School when I was still friends with whatever your name. Are you dating for a hot minute. I think that was very important. I think I don't know if I would really know you any better.

28:27 Remember when I remember dressing up for Halloween, we did cats remember or something as a theme?

28:42 You painted my face. I'm pretty sure.

28:46 Sounds possible. Yeah, I forgot about that. I promise you I haven't talked to him, but I think that was important cuz like after that then and then things got out around and stuff. Yeah.

29:27 High School

29:34 Drove the stake through the heart of friendship.

29:43 Yeah, I actually a very much we got about that.

29:52 Can you remember anything like that? We did kind of early on earlier in in high school that we

30:01 That was like super nice and bonding. I don't remember like I suck. My memory is horrible, but I'm trying to think.

30:08 I really do feel like it my dislike of advisory like Jimmy closer to like you and then I can probably studied a lot together. I feel like a large number of math related question. Yeah, one of my people by like we just read poetry to each other and I really appreciate that and by the way

31:06 Yeah, I think I mean I guess it's maybe more recent than it is from the past. I mean

31:15 I don't know maybe it maybe it's because like we realize how quite similar in ways we think and talk the way that we approach life. Like we're hard workers yet. You know, we always get fucked over or are we just short end of the stick all the time? I think it's funny. I feel like you have a never-ending optimism is the same. Yes, you can be I've always seen you to have this never-ending optimism desert-like take anything out of you or like you notice it at all Jacob. You're such a nice like, how are you so smiley? Like, why are you so smiley all the time? I'm like, I'm not dude.

32:15 I don't know. I always try to make other people feel better in some way some capacity. But like when I'm alone, I'm definitely not I'm like sad cuz I think about I think about other people and and there I think like why am I not talking to this person anymore? Like what happened dawn like

32:42 Yeah, but but never took it a total, you know, I mean, I wasn't always like I used to be very pessimistic in in Middle School. Like I hated everybody.

32:55 I was down bad but I mean, yeah, you were cool and I was

33:03 Like there was nothing about you that was bad in anyway, like I like you were just the most honest and realistic and human person. I thought

33:14 Am I wanted by people that were not really like that? Like I was like, yeah, you are like a genuine person. Like I will trust that you will always say what is true? Like, what is the truth? And that's I think that's a really important thing. I was really important. I mean I mean for me,

34:06 Enjoyment of life and I think that's really special. So go camping technically March, right? That's when the Laurel Laurel mushroom. Yeah. Yeah.

34:45 I guess.

34:50 Yeah.

34:54 What do you think makes us? Good friends? I don't know. I like smiling the last like to guarantee time are usually thing you back till like I visit you and me and you visited.

35:18 Oh, man. Yeah. Those are

35:26 What's it like? Yeah, I I just enjoy being around you listening to what you have to say. Like I did like enjoy your opinion on things and I think you're probably the most level-headed person that I I know honestly.

35:44 And yeah, it just seems like you will you also have an aura of like

35:51 My happiness to I mean, I think that it yeah, I think people do like hanging out with you or at least like once we get to know you you really like you bring out a lot and everybody that you talk to. I think I'll just say yes nice. I mean you are one of my closest friends. Like I always kind of confided in you first really like I don't really come by then other people. I don't really, you know, share my emotions that much but the first person I would always really think of is you

36:24 Definitely

36:26 I like as soon as I found out that my dad, you know had cancer and I immediately called you. I think yeah, I immediately called you probably like in an hour or something.

36:44 I was in the bathroom.

36:48 Cuz I didn't want anybody to see me.

36:53 But like I said, yeah and I mean

36:57 In the future, like will only really like once we're adults will be kind of far away in the only thing that we have is kind of their phones or something or through texting or yeah, whatever you are next to you. If you really mean by thinking about the things that I think about bread for I go to sleep.

37:36 Would have liked the recent things you would think about cream asleep.

37:46 I can either go or very nerdy or very well-liked.

37:56 I guess they like the first thing I was.

38:00 Like this I went to sleep about or just thinking really about was definition of Randomness and how to define like a random space not just like a coin flip but kind of something that is in deterministic.

38:17 And there's I guess mathematical ways to describe what in determinism really means.

38:23 Where how to measure something efficiently year, but I guess I was also thinking about

38:37 In the most recent most recent thing I was thinking about is that sleeping with

38:43 Another person like by your side right a human being right next to you fire is the greatest feeling in the world.

38:58 Seriously and like every time I were not every time but like most of the time when I go to sleep that likes. Comes back in my head where my damn I wish there was somebody next to me. That's a real but that happened yesterday. I was like, oh my God.

39:29 Yeah, definitely that. Always comes right back.

39:36 Yeah, I guess I don't know also wanted like glow in the dark stickers and stuff on my right above me cuz I think that would just be that would just make things kind of true true.

40:05 Yeah, we were. Okay. What about you rent?

40:11 I think someone else might the definition of Randomness. I must say I was thinking about next day. Nothing crazy guitar.

40:35 Even though you're in the screen.

40:39 It's like you're here.

40:42 All right.

40:45 How much time?