Rosa Del Cid and Max Hannen-Del Cid

00:02 Hi, my name is Rosa Del Cid and I am 53 years old. Today's date is Wednesday, February 26th, 2020 and we are in Fresno California. My interview partner is Max hannen-del CID my Offspring. My name is Max hannen-del CID. I'm 20 years old. Today is Wednesday, February 26th. 2020. I'm in Fresno, California my interview Partners Rosa Del Cid and she is my mom.

00:31 So I am so glad that you were okay and coming here today cuz I really have wanted to be able to talk about what it's been like for you growing up.

00:44 Your having having been born a girl and then how things have evolved for you as you've grown into this lovely transgender child, you know, we just how come people always thrown off when I say Offspring or my kid my child because I don't

01:05 I've learned to not use the labels and so can you tell me a little bit about like what are some of the things that you've experienced or what do you mean by that in the sentence? We talked about the fact that things when you were little, you know, I like the stereotypical not playing with dolls or not wanting to wear dresses and skirts were fine party but skirts were fine. But like what are some of the things that you were feeling maybe when you were little that you weren't able to Define until you got older. I have one distinct memory we were talking about. I don't remember how this came up. I think I've been playing with hazem who was a boy and I was talking to you and I said if one was feeling like really feminine and girly and 10 was feeling like a boy. I think I'm at a 5 and you said no you're at 4

02:01 And I was like, okay, I guess I'm at a 4 then I have no recollection of a conversation at all. Okay, okay.

02:14 You know, what about you know, when cuz I know sometimes we talked to cuz the way that all of this and my and my memory is at first we talk to it we talked about being gay.

02:28 You know, that's how I remember. I remember us talking about being gay. That was our first big conversation around this when you were in about middle school, but I was in the car and I was like

02:40 1100 no, I'm asking know. I know I'm thinking I'm thinking later, but tell me about when when you were eleven in the car. So I was thinking because I had a crush on Annika and I was like if I liked girls I would date Annika and you just kind of nodded and then later I was like I think I like girls and you said okay, and we just kept driving.

03:04 I think it's because since your aunt is gay and that's totally you know, not a thing in our family didn't really I didn't think anything of it, you know, and then I remember it being more formal later, you know where you were saying, you know, you had your queer sign out on your on your door yet your rainbow and your Rainbow on your door and we talked about being gay and like all your cool and that's all good. And I no worries, you know, I've got you, you know, and then all the bumpy things, you know, I had started to happen already in like my divorcing your dad and issues that came up around your dad accepting all of that and then my dating and and I know that we've talked about my not being there for you the way I needed to be and I was also a thing.

03:55 Is it okay if we talk about that's fine. What are you what what what's your recollection that time? I'd really don't have one to be honest. And I think I've lost a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah.

04:10 I look back on that and I feel really awful. I feel really awful that it was unable to to be present for you know, you had a lot of stuff going on and also, but I'm also the adult.

04:24 You know, there are other adults.

04:26 So

04:29 I think the positive part isn't you know, we've we've been able to kind of come back together on that.

04:40 I don't think me coming out as trans helps. I don't think you were like against it at all. But I think it was kind of a rough.

04:48 Transition at first

04:51 That is very very true. Because in my mind trans is all about surgery was all about, you know completely changing and that honestly freaked me out because I absolutely adore you and I liked.

05:11 That we were girls together and then we weren't going to be able to be girls together out of your city and your still might kidding. You're still the same person, you know, but that was that was a little rough for me initially in

05:25 Essentially, I think cotton over it. If you'd let me know if I hadn't yeah, you know, but

05:33 I don't know. I just

05:36 I it was so different than anything I've ever known.

05:43 What led you to to know?

05:47 I honestly don't remember. I remember talking to Taylor about it. Once my best friend when I was in I want to say eighth grade. We were in the we were standing outside of the locker room when I don't remember why I was crying. I think I had started to feel this work, but I couldn't figure out what it was and I said what if I'm a boy to Taylor and she said I would never see you that way. And so that just kind of pushed everything back down for a little while, which is hilarious because she's so chill now she doesn't care but that really hurt your feelings. I think so probably

06:32 Is it okay for me to ask about Taylor and how all of that know we can talk about it complicated you and Taylor dated for a little while twice. Yeah. Yeah. That didn't quite pan out their time.

06:52 But she's your best friend in it, and I know that Taylor has helped you.

06:56 Kind of I don't want to say process but helped you like go through a lot of this and then your support has been a good support system for sure. Yeah. Love her very dearly. I know.

07:12 I was also thinking right now about how your grandparents, you know, I got a pass is still calling you by your birthday.

07:24 You know.

07:27 Is it okay if we talk about your father?

07:31 I mean, I don't know what there is to talk about exactly but if you want to

07:38 Cuz even outside when we were waiting to come in I was thinking about how I still want to push and say please see your child as your child is I love your child. If he doesn't want to do it, he's not going to do it. You know what I mean? I know but

07:59 I know.

08:01 It's just that you're so fabulous. Thank you. You know you're really really talented. You know, you're a great singer. You know, you're you work really hard at school. You're very loving towards me, you know, and I really

08:17 I just like being around you.

08:21 You know, I really really love being around you.

08:25 And I want to share your fabulousness with everybody and

08:30 I got upset.

08:32 You know, you've educated me a lot on things that are okay to say in ways that you perceive things.

08:43 I think one of the most heart one of the things that has helped me is

08:50 When we went to Gay Pride last year and you went up to the to the free mom hugs and you said to the Mom. I'm okay. I got a great mom. I need to buy.

09:05 You know, he had her arms out and I just bought Redbox.

09:10 And I just that to me means louds, you know, cuz

09:16 Your amazing, you know and you've been through a lot. Another divorce was hard. I know they coming out with heart.

09:27 You know, what was the most difficult part about coming out?

09:31 I mean, I didn't think I was going to be homeless or anyting but I was still scared that you would wouldn't make an attempt I guess would be the best way to freeze it make an attempt to understand you're like incorporated into your life. I guess would be a good way to say it.

09:51 Like I would still always be the same even after coming out with that because at that time was when I was kind of emotionally checked out. No, I wouldn't have said that at all. I was just a general sort of fear. I think every fear person experiences that to some extent. Okay.

10:11 Cuz your grandfather and I you know, we talked about being parents and he had said that even before your aunt and I were born that he has thought about you know, what if my kids gay, you know that was coming and I thought that's a really unusual thought to have but it makes sense to kind of, you know, gird yourself or whatever is coming and he was like no response basically.

10:39 I think maybe he should have been my first clue.

10:45 Yeah.

10:47 But you know, I think you're pretty well settled yet. If you know and your stepdad just coming like okay, you know the best way to describe him in all aspects.

11:05 What about it? You know, what I was thinking to do was thinking about school. I think I when you were in high school, I'm sorry. And you said you sent that email to your teachers about being trans and they were very

11:23 Trying really hard to cover everything. Did he and your PE teacher? Oh my goodness that entire debacle. Yeah, that was not good. You know cuz I kept saying but but Max is physiologically a girl how do you expect her to run at the same Pace at a physiological boy care and you know that if some if a trans girl was like I'm trans it wouldn't be like okay or mile time of 10 minutes then still expect the same thing. So, it's really just a punishment. I think. Yeah. I have some sort of rigid adherence to a friend that I didn't understand you, you know, but you made it out of there relatively unscathed.

12:08 The locker room was not found that year cuz I didn't have any friends in that class like at all. And I don't think being will all of my friends were his voice. I don't think that like having my binders on and everything and everything really helped with that.

12:25 That's it that the girls in the locker room didn't understand about the binder and you like nobody really talks to me when I was getting dressed and everything. Not that I minded but it's a different one. You went to Camp. What do you mean? I wasn't changing in front of people true, but there was a lot more openness at camp.

12:49 There was where is the question? I don't know. I mean

12:55 I guess it's kind of dumb to ask. How was how was Camp compared to being in school so much better camp-like change my life. The first year that I went. There is it was just like I'd never been around so many queer people it was I don't think yeah. Yeah. It was just so different knowing like physically experiencing Community, I think.

13:20 I think the fact that you're also kind of a reticent person that you're shy, you know, wanted to offer up support groups and stuff and that's not something that you're really keen on. So it was a big deal to go to Camp. Yeah.

13:37 And you made some friends that have kind of stuck around. Yeah, I think about it a lot.

13:45 Now there's the stuff all over your room.

13:49 What else do you want to say about being transgender?

13:53 I don't really use the word transgender. Honestly. I just kind of say and be yeah.

14:01 Caesar to be how do you explain non-binary to people not yesterday when I was talking to Richie the guy who didn't know what transgender was I sent I'm not a man or woman. I'm just a homie orgy if you will.

14:18 And did he get there? Yeah. Yeah.

14:24 Do you feel it's important to educate people?

14:27 Yeah.

14:29 I mean, I feel like it's easier now to do so, so maybe there isn't as much of a need just because it's been like 4 so much already with the threat of like technology and everything that's made it a lot easier to understand clear people cuz they're so much more like opportunity to really delve into it on your own.

14:51 If people want to make the effort, what do you think is the best thing about being non-binary? Everything is good here touching a woman. That's gay or attracted to a man. That's gay straight.

15:14 Yeah, that is trying to tease you about that sometime.

15:31 I'm trying to think what are the things I want to say to you?

15:36 Or ask you or comments on

15:41 Clothing

15:45 Natalie Sterling bullet because you do dress prototypically Sarah typically girly sometime soon, especially with your makeup while I think I rejected the idea of being any sort of feminine for so long. Did ya did all your war was black for the longest time. You still do but it but I mean I throwing pink cuz I like pink now, it's so good. Nobody told me I've been telling you for a long time.

16:16 I don't know. Like I said, it was just it was so vehement Lee rejecting everything that could be considered feminine and eventually once I kind of settled into myself, I learned to calm down and that it was okay to wear whatever I wanted because it really doesn't matter.

16:35 Kind of a long that vein. I know they're letting me go out like today. I think it was today when we went to go get breakfast that people always say thank you, ladies and internal and rolling my eyes and I don't know what that's like for you all I can I used to get mad at it. But now the best comparison I can make is Janet in the good place since she's a computer and then Jason will call her a woman or lady and she'll say thank you. Not a girl.

17:05 That's kind of the best description. I can give cuz like I appreciate the fact that they're trying to be kind to me and they're not trying to hurt me.

17:15 It'd be different if they knew you knew that you were non-binary. Yeah, okay.

17:22 Yeah.

17:24 I was talking to someone about that yesterday and that was the comment you can't get mad because they're not purposely trying to hurt you. They just don't know. Yeah. Okay. So what is your address? I'm just curious. What are you is it just like, however you wake up or too much for an old. I'll do like a a morning Ginger check and be like in the feeling masculine today in my feeling feminine with what's up and sometimes he'll try and plan ahead but it can it can change on a whim honestly like that, You showed me one time where it said sometimes I look like this and it was the girl in the person in a really pretty like dress and blouse and then it said sometimes I look like this and it was the same person in like a suit and then it said, but mostly I look like this and I was just them in a hoodie and jeans and crunchy. Yeah. Yeah, that is kind of you.

18:17 Okay traffic Courthouse.

18:25 I didn't know there's a lot.

18:27 There's just so much to it. And I don't want to over. Do you know over a score kind of intrude?

18:39 Even talking about you know being your mom.

18:44 Your personality and everything has never really wavered and your kindness has never wavered. Thank you and

18:54 You're my only child as so that's

18:59 And I was raised in a loving family.

19:03 And that's how I always wanted to raise you.

19:08 You

19:11 You mean so much to me and I don't understand not loving your child for who they are.

19:20 Because I grew you you were faked inside for a while, you know and feeling you move and knowing that I helped create you.

19:34 If there's no way that I could say you're not mine. You're not a part of me and that makes it immensely powerful.

19:45 And despite the times that I know I have screwed up as your mom. I hope you've always felt that I Adore You course, you know that that's I didn't feel like you understand everything all the time, but I never felt like you didn't love me good. It's two very different things.

20:03 Cuz it is it's just

20:06 There's so much difficulty in so much sadness in the world and being loving and showing you that you're valuable.

20:17 No matter what you identify as I don't care and I could see your mind that you're the bestest green hair and all that blue. Just washed out to remember us talking about that the USA want to color my hair. I'm like dude as long as you get good grades. Whatever. It's fine. Yeah can be rainbow. Yeah. I had to wait on Clovis Unified for that. Yeah. I know I know but you colored your hair like the minute that I graduated the minute that you graduated that night that night you bleach my hair in the hotel room.

21:02 And it's been a lovely partner. Yeah, he's great like that dude a little bit little bit.

21:10 Some

21:13 Anyway, anyway, and your nails. Oh, yeah, I like painting the black.

21:19 Only black I don't know why I don't like any of the color. Look at you pink or red now.

21:28 That's fine.

21:31 What else you want to talk about my love?

21:35 I don't know. I don't really come in here with any.

21:39 Conversation in my head, and I think I did either.

21:46 You can really good in terms of Education. I think I think having to you helped you were cuz they're very few things that I say that you have like completely know like a reference for at the very least.

22:02 NetSpend good

22:05 I'm kind of bummed that aside from Elliott's parents there really isn't anybody else that I can talk to but it's really that is one of the best support systems.

22:20 He knows having them. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

22:25 And your auntie your Auntie loves you and always asks, you know, I'm texting on you. So that's always nice.

22:34 Yeah, did you feel weird about me dating Elliot? And he was also non-binary when that first.

22:42 Became a thing. I wasn't I wasn't even concerned about Leb non-binary. Non-binary. I was more concerned about the fact that he lives so far away. That was a concern cuz he's kind of dated people at a distance distance dated for a while and that was a little but it's been three and a half year olds for you. Yeah, most four-year for me. Yeah. So now I was more worried about the distance in the house. I was going to impact you.

23:17 But now I think it's perfect. I think you guys are really sweet fit and I love watching the two of you together, you know, and I know I really loves you and that's what matters to me. You know that you're loved cuz you're special and you need to be with someone who realizes how special they are recognized as Hidden Treasures at

23:44 Do you feel like it's been if it's like affected your dating life at all having a trans kid?

23:50 No, no because most of the time I wouldn't date someone that wasn't at bare minimum accepting.

24:02 Now but if there were time most of the time

24:07 Where's a great butt?

24:13 No, you come first. I've always told you that you come first and said there was someone that I liked but wasn't accepting of you.

24:24 You know cuz you're my blood and you're right. You are my child. There's no way that that's happening and besides, you know, well I stuck around for a while. So yeah good, dude.

24:40 Yeah, I'd love you mix. Love you, too.

24:44 That's all there is to it going to be one of those weird people. That's that's friends with their mom. That's so sad.

24:57 Film

24:59 Is there anything else that you wanted to bring up?

25:02 Nope.

25:04 It feels like you're in a better place than you were some years ago that you're more comfortable in your own skin. For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

25:13 Yeah, you're more chill. No more teenage angst. Thank God. I love you. And oh my God, that was stalking you.

25:24 We survived. Yeah.

25:27 Well, I think both of us were in worse places and now both of us are in better places. That is very very well for you to nose.

25:40 As love you kid. Love you, too.