Sandy Frost and Taffy Solcher

00:05 Hi, my name is Sandy Frost and I am so excited to be here today. I'm going to be interviewing my mom Taffy solcher. I am 52 today is Sunday, August 27th. I'm in Dallas, Texas at a mobile booth. And like I said, I'm here to interview. My mom Taffy. You want to introduce yourself? Yes. Hi. I'm Kathy Salter. My real name is Mary Kathleen the nickname, but I go by Taffy. Today is Sunday, October 27th in Dallas. 79 will be 80 in the spring and anxious to talk to my daughter.

00:43 Thanks. I'm so glad we're here. We've talked about doing this for a long time. And it's it's fun that we're finally here. So we wanted to talk a little bit about my mom's Taffy's childhood and a night's funny when I think back about my childhood and I have three kids their childhood I could say about how great it was, but it was pretty ordinary. I mean, we did all the ordinary things like you're still like riding on a skateboard. We ate dinner at home my kids, you know, go to the public schools. They do all the same normal things that the other kids do in Frisco, Texas and and it's great but pretty similar to all the experiences that other people my age pretty much have had my I can talk to any friend of mine who's 52 and say what was your childhood like and they would say about the same kind of things that I would well I did like

01:42 Make my own clothes, so I don't think there's too many people to it. Maybe would add that in but mostly a lot of the same things. We had three TV stations. We talked about that played outside a lot. But your childhood was so different. So you grew up all over the world practically and had these crazy experiences and when we talked about doing this you you said to me you said wow, I don't really talk about it much because it's so different than me. You talking to my peers like when you talk to your friends, you don't have a friend that could say. Oh, yeah. I remember that. We only had three TV channels. You don't have all those similar things. So you do have some fascinating stories though. So for example when I was in elementary school,

02:36 I walked to school with my two brothers. I went to the elementary school around the corner came home ate Oreos. Watch TV that kind of stuff. What was it like when you were that age of elementary school?

02:52 Well, that's that's a long story. But we've moved when I was five years old. We move to Colombia South America on my dad was with oil company and he was quite the adventurer type. So he was excited about that. It wasn't a big change to be moving because we had already moved five times by the time I was five three three towns in California and two in Louisiana. So we moved to first airplane ride I've ever had when I was 5 was wonderful, but we moved to a oil camp in an almost to the Venezuelan Border in Columbia.

03:37 And it was a small oil Camp. There were no other children besides myself and my sister is was older two years older and there were other expats a few other us five other couples, I think but they had no children and that's was the oil Camp. That's all that consisted of plus the workers. Of course. We had a mess hall where we age and we had what we would call now homeschooling because there was no school. Well, obviously no other children or no need and they had a correspondence course that was designed specifically for people who lived in these kind of circumstances in those days and it came from New York out of a book store called brentano's which is still there. I think anyway, so my mom got the correspondence course.

04:29 And my sister had to had her class and I had my classes and so from beginning of school until I was in 6th grade. That's when I moved back to the United States, but I was home-schooled we had we were almost on the Equator. So it was summer all year round. And so the we just had school in the morning and every day though, but I don't think on the weekend, but we don't have any holidays or summer vacation or anything like that was just us and so then afternoon we played know we did pretty normal stuff that that was my one of my favorite word's was normal, but we could played with kids did and I play paper dolls and dolls and we brought a lot because we got a lot of books sent to us to quite a while to get the the mail from this book store took about three months when they sent it, but we we enjoyed that and

05:29 I was a happy kid and I enjoyed living there and thought it was a shock when I move back. That's what did your mom like being your teacher? Well, I think so. She probably learned along with us because that's what you do when you do homeschooling. I'm sure that's what I do with my kids in the evenings especially math Bell. Well, yes when I tried to help you all with your homework, that's how it gets but I think she liked it. All right. I think she worried about the responsibility of doing it not knowing exactly how that was going too. Well for lack of better words turn out how we were going to do when we got back into the real world. And so that was I'm sure challenging for her and in retrospect. Well, I was a kid so I wasn't paying all that much attention, but I feel that

06:27 Yeah, I can imagine that that would be a responsibility. So there were these other couples that lived at the camp and you and your sister. Did you see any other children? Like would you just go years without seeing other kids every once in awhile? We saw other children for various reasons, we would go into town when they had to strike we would go out but they had the workers would be striking and so Dad would be nervous for us. So he sent us into town and then I'd see other children, but I didn't have any interaction with them. They spoke Spanish, of course and in a few expat children once in awhile visitors are people coming through the camp for various reasons, but not any kind of ongoing where I saw them like every day or even two or three times in their life. So that was they were just in passing so no friends.

07:26 No, no, no no friends, right but I was happy. Anyway, I was pretty but I guess self sufficient or something or maybe it makes you be so efficient. You didn't really know any differently. I know it was fine. And I think that the beauty about imagining that is I think that you had like this time where you could go do what you wanted. If you were a big reader you could spend every afternoon reading you could be finding bugs in the dirt or whatever it was that you go do and I think that that's missing for our kids now like they for the good or the bad. I mean, I'm sure it's way more entertaining to play computer games and watch TV then find bugs in the dirt, but it's it's harder I think to find yourself or something. I think it's harder to

08:19 Two going to be able to explore with your world is or at least maybe we don't make the effort. Well, I do think in a circumstance like that. You would learn how to entertain yourself. I am to be depending on yourself For Your Entertainment more or less. And so I think it I think it helps you all along to be able to know yourself and be comfortable with that. Yeah, exactly. I agree. I were you ever scared like I think back at times but I was scared as a kid and there weren't that many like, you know, maybe I had a nightmare. I remember the I had two doors you're already laughing. I know but I do your drawers in my bedroom and one of them that's given to the garage right to a front porch and it had a window in a very much bothered me ever had a window. Yes that went to a closed in front porch, but you weren't still ride. We didn't realize for quite some time that you are not comfortable with that.

09:19 What's 35 when I first told you could be why we didn't realize it's quite a long time. So weird there times when you were a kid that were kind of scary like the Striking and did you even know I didn't even really know or care particularly. I mean it six or seven or eight you're not really engaged with that, you know the words and then you know, what's going to happen when it happens and that but it's a good thing because we'd go to a hotel that has a pool and it was so great and I love to swim. So I love Dad, but there was one time that we were scared and I remember my parents were really scared. There was an Indian tribe that lived close to the oil camp.

10:05 And it was actually their land probably and they were very hostile toward us. They are quite primitive. They use bows and arrows and they the oil companies were making roads and drooling and doing all sorts of stuff for people from all over the world. We're coming and so course they were quite I'm sure they're intimidated by all this they were just Fishers and hunters and

10:34 Like I said had bows and arrows so they were not happy. We were there. So one of their techniques was to cut a tree down across the road and then when a car truck or vehicle came by and then obviously someone don't have to get out to move the tree or cut it whatever and then they would shoot them with the bows and arrows when they did that. So when happened happened one time to us, so we're driving up and there's the tree and so dad has to get out to take care of it and he gets a pistol little gun out of the glove compartment and gives it to Mom and says, okay. I'm going to get out and shoot anything that moves and her hand was shaking. We were just just huddled in the front seat and but nothing happened so he was fast.

11:34 I got back in the car and off we went but I could tell that they were just pretty shaken up over that yes, of course and we were with them, you know, they're responsible for us to you know, little girls little girls, right? Oh, yeah, that would have been I'm sure that even at that young age. You probably can remember the handshaking. I can remember her hand shaking with the gun. Yeah, that's that's that's scary. So, you know 1950s. Yes. It was before that. It was 19-9 46 or 47, 48 cuz we move back to the United States in 50 1950s. Okay. Okay, so I was ten. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So when you did move back to the United States that I'm sure was scarier than the login the road in many ways or was it?

12:34 No to be imagining what it was going to be like or I was excited at first to know I was going to get to go to school and New Balance. Cool. Okay, I may not we bred. Do you know when did I don't know how we knew all this stuff. There was no TV of course or anyting but we know that we're schools and stuff. So I was excited and then I got there and then I was terrified. It wasn't in New Orleans New Orleans is the first day was okay Mom and Dad took me.

13:07 The second day we had a math test a timed math test never had anything time to before I guess we just didn't even think about doing that right in my my homeschooling weekend. Anyway, it was time. I'm not good at math anyway, so I had a panic attack went to the bathroom came back. Of course. I flunked it because it was time for next day. They had another another one and I just sat in my seat and cried and then I went home and told them mom and dad what happened and dad said you can't do that can't cry at school. So I said, okay, so I didn't after that and I still hate Mass to this and I'm not good at it but to work out all right work out fine academically. I was way ahead of the other kids.

14:06 But socially I was just a zero. I mean it was I was so far behind I had no idea how to interact with children and they asked me where I came from because they know I don't look like they looked and

14:23 I told them and then they thought I was making up some weird story or something that I could come to me. They couldn't understand they weren't. Yeah, they couldn't they really couldn't get it. And when I said I didn't look like they did I had long braids for my hair and my sister did too because there was no haircut place in South America on Columbia where we worked them anyway, so that's what we had and that's so I looked around and thought I don't look like these other girls. They had short fluffy hair. So one day I took the public bus to school. So one day I got off the stop before my house and that was a barber shop there. So I went in and had them cut my hair off and Mom, of course had absolute fit and you are 10. I was I was maybe 11

15:23 Normal thing. I really like the word normal what my perception of normal was and I knew that that was not it. So anyway, she did take me to get my hair fixed and it turned out that the most popular girl in class Joyce. Her name is something she helped me with my hair fixed my hair. It was so nice and then I thought in now but it did help was very very difficult at first because it's just so overwhelming and intimidating especially to go to school for the first time not even considering this is really the first time you've lived in the United States that you could remember. I remember when we moved from Michigan to Texas. My three kids were fourth grade second grade first grade, and we moved like October of that first year and the previous years in Michigan.

16:23 They all could have lunch together. So it was a small Elementary School that had lunch together and have recess together. So when we moved the school we went the day before they started and they told them that they all have different lunch hours and not recessed together and my oldest looked at me and had gone. Her face was completely pale like she did not know what to do about that. Like she had sat with Evelyn her sister at the years that Evelyn was old enough to be with her and stay by her little side at recess and the idea of her not being there with Evelyn was enough to send Olivia into a, you know, a bit of a panic and that is so minor though compared to your experience moving to the United States going to school. Okay. I'm a little curious. Did your sister cut her hair?

17:20 No, she did not think so. She did not she would twist it around on her head like like a Dutch girl yea or yeah, I can see a picture of a Dutch girl and she wore it like that for years and years. No, she don't she didn't cut me off. She was not into short fluffy hair or whatever, but that's and I do think she had a harder time than I did because I don't know if she did or just had a harder time. So yeah, and I was fortunate that I could I could adapt pretty well so that helped me a lot. Yeah personality-wise your similar to my middle 1 second daughter and very attuned to social cues and very wanting to be involved in the world and that desire everything helps, you know, well, I didn't want to seem weird and and there was a lot to be weird about it was so foreign from what my school the kids at my school know.

18:20 Yes, I wanted to fit in if that's the right word. Do you think the other students recognized but academically you are way past them and all areas except for Mass. Yes. I think they did. Yeah, you had a chance to religion. I didn't we didn't have we had no church where I lived in the camp and we would go to mass once a year because you wanted to do that. But I was at a Catholic school. So I was way behind and religion but I caught up quickly but yes, I think they realized I was ahead of them academically and but I was also and I'm a little weird so they can't really figure it all out. So right but we were there in New Orleans for four and a half years. I wasn't at school and loved it by the end. And yes absolutely loved it. But it's nice. We went to New Orleans on vacation like eight years ago and went and saw your house and your school.

19:20 Are there yes, and I take pictures and send them to you but it's still his good and it's really kind of nice to see where you spent that time and it was pretty what I call them normal life, which is what I always wanted. Just normal like like you when you grow up you said it was normal regular just yes, that's what I thought. That's that's the best thing ever. See a damn thing to be said for that right there. Just kind of everyday experience, you know is great, but my grandson told me today when we were coming over here and he said but you had such a cool experience. He was so excited to get to tell your stories. I can tell you that this is very funny joke you so just as you were settled in to the United States lived in New Orleans will over four and a half before. With fluffy hair and friends and probably enjoyed all the normal things sleepovers enjoyed all the stuff that mask then you

20:20 We're told that you're removing. Yes, Dad took a job and they were on and what we didn't even know where that was hardly, but and he was so excited to go and I every day I would ask him when he came home from work. Are we going for sure, you know, he would he was working on that Logistics of it and he thought I was excited to go but I was not I was dreading going because I had this really really fun life and friends and everything, but we did go and so I was 14. I think when we went maybe almost down almost 15

21:01 And down, we went in the middle of my sophomore year in high school. So the first year I did a freshman year in New Orleans. So I had ended up with four different high schools. But anyway, so we went and I'd so I didn't finish my new go to school the rest of that spring. Okay, because we were in a run and we didn't know how it was going to be and so then when's fall came around and I had we had to go to school. I went to Denver with and lived with my grandmother and my aunt and my two cousins in Denver and went to St. Mary's Academy in Denver and lived with them from August end of August until June. I didn't see my parents so they were letters and stuff, but still and you anywhere on the mail system, is it from Iran? We're not so great. But anyways, so this was I think 1950

22:00 For when we went and done it Well Company still oil related. And so then the next year they decided I should go to school closer so I could come home at Christmas time. So I went to school in Switzerland. They found the school which turned out to be very very strict and only spoke French didn't know where the French when I went there.

22:26 And it was really that was bad in the sixth grade beginning to subscribe but this was harder and lot of ways because it lasted the difficult part lasted longer cuz I couldn't speak the language and it was very very strict punished if I spoke English or any of that but everybody was in the same boat, you know, they were all it was there were a lot of Italian girls and and I'll Whip people from all over so so what did your sister go with you there? She went with me to the same town, but she was in college by then. Okay, and so she was on our Foreign Exchange program and I only saw two times the whole time I was there so I was pretty much on my own and Julie and it was quite an influential year. I would say in my life because I really did have to grow up. Yeah. I had to try really really dead.

23:26 Like I said communication letters from Iran back and forth were kept forever. You know, when I would ride home this I'm not happy here, you know, but and then the nuns wouldn't mail the letter so after a couple of months, they called me in the office and they were all my letters. So I wondered why I wasn't getting anything back but that was why but anyway, eventually it got better as far as you know, you just keep working on it and then the German girls I it was difficult with them. It was 11 years after the end of the second World War.

24:08 It may be only six or seven years after the American occupation from where some of them lived and they didn't like Americans. It was I mean, of course, they didn't really understand all that when I didn't know enough about the second world war when I first got there, but they were very resentful and there were not happy I was there and I was the only American I was the first American to make it to the whole school year. They had had other American girls there other years, but they dropped out cuz it was I think cuz it was so revealing their that spoke English know they were some English girls and no collateral from Ireland and but that's all but you got in trouble if you spoken so it didn't matter but so but I was the first one to make it through the whole year as an American, but the funny

25:08 Part, I got a German friend of German girl commits after Easter and that she turned out to be a wonderful friend for me. In fact, we're still friends and I see her and I don't know 10 or 15 years I guess but we're still friends and that was really really nice. And I know every time she comes to visit. I'm not sure if she still loves her American lifestyle. It's just so different. Yeah, but yeah, so that was definitely lots of lessons and persistence and resilience and well that was probably the toughest year, but I think it really helped me in that. I thought if I can do this I can do just about anything. Yeah. Yeah, so then I went to next year in Rome Italy to an American school cuz I had told my parents I'm not going back there.

26:02 And until they finally realize that I wasn't and so they found another school. I don't know how they did that in those days. But because this is 1956 or seven, you know, I'm right seven.

26:16 I went to Rome Italy to a Marymount School and it was strict to in an American Standards, but it certainly wasn't strict in relation to the school before and it was fun. I had great friends and school of class was in English and we could with a buddy we could go out and on the weekends. Where is my other school? We never went out but we could go out on the weekends and go all over Rome, which is wonderful it just amazing and love that and my friends were super there were thirteen of us graduated from high school there though. That's small. Yes. There was the niece of the president of Panama and she was a good friend and not some other oil people and I'm the daughter of a opera singer and so it was a very eclectic group, but they were all fun and good. So that was your whole senior year.

27:15 My whole senior year. Okay. So even though you had had all those weird experiences like not finishing out sophomore year the Switzerland for junior year, you still basically what we would call graduated on time still graduated on time. But as I told my grandson today academically my schools were good. But academically nowhere near the caliber of schools that you're talking about for your children and his go or other places in the United States. I had a wonderful education but it's just I don't ask elastically I don't think they were quite as good as some schools are now and heartbreaking it all up like that that doesn't make it to have any a continuity. But yeah, the schools now are great and they they really are good for different levels of students. So if you are ready to

28:15 At work super hard and of nirala neglected and you want to take advanced classes and you're that kid that can do that the opportunity is there for you and if you're that kid that is going to excel in writing and English literature and but not in math this system supports that it supports that or if you are regular kid this so that's one of the things I love about the school's it's it's very favorable. It's flexible to the child and what they need and there's some things I think they wish they had more of like, you know, philosophy and expose kinds of things which you probably maybe had. Yes, I had those in college. I went to college in Denver Catholic college and had a lot of wonderful wonderful classes truly wonderful as far as liberal arts type classes. So yes, it was that part was wonderful living

29:15 Iran was wonderful. It was an education in itself to gives you a different perspective on the news are living in all those countries which I find interesting and valuable also, but yeah, yeah, so I mean we travel a lot and visit but we are at their as tourists which is completely different than living somewhere obviously and we've tried hard to take our kids to a lot of places and we've succeeded in taking him to a lot of places but we are there is true as we're looking at museums and staying in a Marriott and having sex more fun as a tourist Ashley easier and easier living actual day-to-day living course now with internet and TV and so many things it's so much easier than at the then when I was growing up and mom was trying to struggling to make, you know, make our lives as normal as possible. But so I like being a tourist now, yeah as opposed.

30:15 The living there. But yeah band your trust is really fun. And when you do go as many places as you can when you were at the house and when you were there, you were there for some months. Yes summer. I was there all summer vacations every year even though from high school and all through college. And what was that day-to-day like, well that's like coming home just like when you came home from college, you know, you're happy to see your house. Your parents are bad your pillow your friends. All of that is it's just it's the same geographical it's different but the whole basic sm7 is the same that's kind of nice to hear cuz I kind of wonder about that if you would if when you did go home to a Ron if it was just so so different but it wasn't maybe enough to do or we were very busy, you know, my friends were there. I like expat. Yeah, okay because it was a large command.

31:15 So bad help does opposed to my original oil camp in the first one, but I'm glad we had a lot of I had a lot of friends and it was fun. We had a lot of social things to do and in which we can create them if they didn't have some movies bad movies and all sorts of sports swimming and horseback riding all sorts of stuff to do perfect. Just like Beyond on a long vacation every three months or maybe not quite but that does sound pretty good. It's pretty normal with movies and social thing since it was it was just the geography is what's not normal. Right? Right, right when you came to the United States, he went to college in Denver and probably enjoyed having did a bit of normalcy. Yes. It was wonderful girls everybody fussed about the curfews but I didn't because it was so much easier than what I've been doing before zoea it was was fun and I still have friends from college and not but I do

32:15 There is people who say oh I have friends from first grade. She's my yeah. I miss that I miss not having that that was there are trade-offs to everything but there weren't too many trade-offs for this. That's the only thing I can think of that would be a trade-off that I didn't have that continuity of a friend from first grade. I have a lot of friends from all over so it's nice. I think that's pretty it was pretty cool. Trade-off. I got guys take that maybe I mean, I do love how you still are close to a lot of these people like you're the German girl from this fiscal. I mean, I know her and I have been visiting her and I think that's really a credit to you that you thank you. Keep in contact with people and and all of that. So when you finish college and by then your parents had moved back to the United State. Yes. Yes in Midland, Texas yet, and I think they were happy to be settled back in the I know Ma.

33:15 I don't know about that. But I do know Mom was such a relief. It's for difficult the challenge to produce a try to produce a normal what we call normal type life in a foreign country. It's just difficult. Yeah, I can't even I can't even imagine so hard but one of the things that I have kind of laughed myself about is that when you found someone to marry you married someone that work for the US government, so I'm thinking that that might have been part of the decision like this is pretty safe that this person is going to stay in the United States. There are jobs overseas for a government employees, but that was not what he was doing. So yes, I was I wanted to stay put and in my place here in my in my home and my environment and Sprite and listening to your childhood. I am very grateful for mine, but I was eating Oreos and Spa.

34:15 Of the three TV channels and making my own clothes and riding up and down the street on my skateboard. You are a happy child. It was wonderful to have you I was very happy and in lots of ways glad I didn't have all those challenges. Everybody has challenges all childhoods have challenges. Yeah summer just different than others and I then want to live overseas because that makes those challenges more difficult. I think childhood is challenging enough without that extra added Dimension to it exactly exactly but I love everything that all of your challenges have brought to you and that you've taught us over the years about overcoming and persisting and taught us all sorts of things that we probably really wouldn't have known about the world and cultures and and different things. So all your experiences have have helped us as well. Thank you, but it doesn't want to instill

35:15 I would love of travel and all three of you all three of my children Sandy and her two brothers. But yes, I think that's important to want to see the rest of the world and see how it looks and how it is and how they live in as much as you can but be a tourist is my recommendation from the room at the Marriott agreed. It was thank you for coming and thank you for you know being willing to spend this our doing this and that and I think I appreciate your time and appreciate you as a mom and I appreciate you as a daughter. I love you, kiddo.