MaryAnn Rhoades and Janette Rhoades

00:01 Hi, my name is Jeanette Rhodes. I'm 48 years old today is November 20th, 2010. I'm sitting in my mother-in-law's dining room and Ramsey, Illinois, and I'm talking to my mother-in-law Marianne roads.

00:16 Hi, my name is Mary Ann Rhodes. I'm 67 years old. It is November 20th 2010. I'm sitting in my living room and in Ramsey, Illinois, and I'm talking to my daughter-in-law.

00:34 Where and when were you born?

00:36 I was born at home and it was in Marion County Illinois. It was Alma Township and I was born on September 16th 1943. I'm the oldest of five children and my grandma was my nurse.

00:54 You are actually born on September 15th or June, but it's recorded as September 16th. That's correct. That's what my mother keeps telling. Me and September 15th was my mother and father's anniversary. So that's why she was so happy. I was born that day, but didn't get recorded that day.

01:14 Okay, describe your house and neighborhood when you were young.

01:19 My house was just a simple Farmhouse. The house have been built after my parents were married a year or so and it had two bedrooms. It had a kitchen and a living room and this house was part of our farm. It's that right in the middle of the farm and we had to close neighbors plus my grandparents that didn't live too far down the road from us.

01:49 Who are your parents my parents were Ray and Lucille Vandever. My mother was actually her maiden name was Lucille Schaefer.

02:01 And Mom grew up in Omega area, which is just a little east of where I was born and she was a daughter of Will and Mary Schaefer and then dad lives several places as he grew up and and most of them in Illinois graduated from st-charles high school, which was near Chicago, but I my grandpa Vandever worked on the farm is a farm labor. So therefore they moved a lot.

02:33 Describe a memory of your dad.

02:36 Well, he was always easy going I can still see him sitting in the rocking chair near the front door. Always had a smile and he like to kid around a lot. I remember I him kidding my mom on her 40th birthday and he said it so seriously, but he told her he would maybe just trade her in for two twenties and I wouldn't quite know how to take that but that's the way my dad like to Kit. He always had kind of a unique sense of humor and if we had company sometimes he gets hired he'd and if the company wasn't necessarily for him, he would say, well I'm going to bed you can turn the lights off when you leave and so you just never knew. He he really had a use kind of just stopped happy person.

03:27 Describe for me now in memory of your mom.

03:33 Welsh I know that she loved her family and that's what I she still living she's 94 years old and so therefore I have lots of memories of her my dad died when he was 57, so that makes my memory is a little short on him. But my mom she's a good cook she's always has cookies bake for anybody that comes to her house and she still makes cookies. She loves having company and she has been one of the main stages of a little church called Pleasant Grove Methodist Church, and she's always concerned about everybody she calls people to see how they're doing and worries about them when they're sick and always wants to be there to help people and she's as a very caring way about her and all of her family as she tries to keep tabs on all of us now reaching about 40 people that keeps her quite busy.

04:35 What do you remember about your grandparents house?

04:38 Will my grandparents the two houses? I remember.

04:44 For my grandma and grandpa Vandever, they lived a little while up near to Monday on in a farmhouse and it was kind of a big two story house we go there on Sunday afternoon play with our cousins and I remember that but the house I remember most was just a mile down the road east of where I was born was a small house and I just remember that my Grandma and Grandpa are they usually how to solve their even though it was crowded but grandma always had a quilt on a quilt frame in the living room. So you didn't have too much for him to walk around but they got a TV before we got a TV. So my best memory is the fact that every Saturday morning we would get to go down to Grandma band of ears and watch cartoons on their TV and I might tell you that

05:44 Grandma really like wrestling. So if you went in the wrestling was on TV, you just had to watch it with her. She wasn't going to visit with you too much, but she was really into wrestling. My grandpa never had too much to say he was just kind of an easy-going always smiling kind of person didn't do too much or say too much but he was always there Grandpa Schaefer. I don't ever remember Grandpa Shay from Grandma Schaeffer's house. Grandpa Schaefer came to the farm a lot Grandma Schaefer died when my mom was very young. So I never got to get to know her so I don't have many memories of that one.

06:23 He went to a small one-room schoolhouse until you were in the sixth grade. Tell me about that including how you got there everyday.

06:31 By the school house is actually only about a mile from our house and we got there by our little school bus being a car driven by a neighbor lady and she would pick up what she could get in the car take us to school and go a different direction and pick up some more children, but there was probably only about 15 to 20 students in our class in our school. So that made our class is very small, maybe two or three in each grade in some cases and we did have all eight grades. And so that meant all of us kids in one room and some of the kids really were big kids and they looked horribly big when you're a first grader and

07:24 The teacher sometimes lived in the community, but we also had one teachers. I remember and she lived in a trailer with her two sons right on the grounds of the little one room school I went to and I remember that one of the boys always was so amazed because she would hang her laundry out of a morning before school started, but you know, she had to do her things too. But anyway that was kind of amusing to some and she also had to make sure that the the heat was turned on and that everything was ready for us at the morning. There wasn't any janitor the teacher did that so that was my little one room school. I had a cloak room for us to put our coats and those things and then it had the main room.

08:15 Were you looking forward to going to school? Why or why not?

08:19 Well, I didn't look forward to going to school I cried when I went to school. I wanted to go back home. I've never been away from my mother. I never remember even staying all night at Grandma's house or any place other than staying at home. So I cried for the first few weeks going to school, but I didn't get to go home and I finally got so I was going to be okay and I made it fine after I got past that.

08:52 What was a box social? Well, we had box socials week also had a pie social a box social as you would have you would bake something at home and put it in a box and you would take that to an evening Affair and the boys or men would bid on the ladies are the girls box of goodies that they brought or sometimes we would take a pot pie and they could bid on our pie and whoever bought your box or bought your pie you had to sit with them and eat your box or the pie whatever goodies you took and so that was some that was some of what we did for social entertainment. I supposed they were lots of fun, but it's always amazing who would bid on your things.

09:50 What was one of the craziest things you ever did Growing Up?

09:55 Well, one thing I remember which was really crazy. When we at the little school the one room School across the road. There was two rows of I think they were probably some kind of crabapple trees or something. Anyway, they were trees or bushes that had thorns on them. So we would go over there and play doctor and hospital and we would break the Thorns off and not use those for giving shots. But at least none of us ever got anything too dangerous out of that, but another thing that happened at school was as I said, some of these kids were quite big and there was a big 8th grader and he kept pulling my banana curls when I was a little girl. My mom always made my hair and banana curls and he kept pulling on them like little springs in it. He kept doing that and I was getting very upset.

10:55 So some of the other big boys help this boy and they told me that I could just slap him in the face. So I did I slapped him in the face because I was real late getting tired of it and the other kids told me it was okay and you know what the teacher didn't get after me for doing it. She thought that was just a good way to in the whole situation and he never pulled my banana curls again describe the perfect childhood day.

11:29 Well, the perfect childhood day was just playing with my dolls. I loved my dolls. I loved my dollhouses. I had some neighbor the neighbor couple who never had any children. And so they made a doll house for me. They made a little rocking chair and all kinds of things and perfect childhood day was nice weather out in the yard Under The Weeping Willow tree playing with my dog ring and my dolls and that to me was the best day ever and maybe helping Mom made cookies.

12:13 You have a letter from your dad. Can you tell me its history and read it to me?

12:19 This letter was written by my father on May 25th 1971. He died on June 24th 1971. So it was one month before he died. We did not discover this letter until 2008 just a couple years ago. We found it in some personal files at at my home where I grew up where my mom still lives and where my brothers operate the farm. And so that's the letter. I'd like to share

12:57 It begins I feel fortunate to have seen the great change and agriculture. Next year will be 40 years that we have till this ground. We started with a pair of mules and walking plow. And now you 7 bottom plows 8 row corn planters for row corn heads and automatic feeding devices. We have converted our 100 acres of brush and Timber ground to improved pasture that will carry a cow-calf pair per acre and produce the hay to Winter her.

13:38 We chose registered polled herefords as our main livestock Enterprise. We carry about 100 head of mother cows and on outright or interest in five herbales, including the American Royal Champion cph Woodrow 206 and the 1970, Illinois State Fair Champion RVs barolo 288, which we produced in our heard the registered cattle provides better utilization of our labor as well as producing an additional cash benefit in the amount received per head. And in addition. We feed about a hundred head of feeder cattle each year.

14:27 We own and operate a production plant for processing certified seed with the help of about 10 Growers. We produce and sell approximately 60000 bushel of certified seed beans and wheat per year.

14:45 And do custom seat cleaning in season. We think we've come a long way from a share cop Cropper on a 320 acre of pretty common ground to holding title now to 640 acres and control of an additional 468 Acres. We have employment for for families including to Mary's sons and one 10-year employee signed Ray van devere.

15:24 Your family farm was also highlighted in an August 2002 article in the local newspaper the Salem times commoner. Can you share a couple of ideas from that as well?

15:36 Yes, this was some written in kind of an honor of the generation of the family farm and it says that back in 1941 Ray and Lucille vanderveer begin farming the land which was comprised of exhausted Orchards an overgrown Prairieland with Relentless optimism and careful planning. The VanDevere is transformed it into a highly productive farmland.

16:07 Ray took advantage of any opportunity to learn about erosion Soil Conservation. He became on the first farmers in Marion County to enlist the services of Soil Conservation District.

16:20 Agricultural engineer and by doing so he was successfully able to resolve the erosion and drainage issues which had previously existed on this land.

16:33 So within the first decade the land was cleared of the Dead Orchards, the perimeters were fenced Barnes another built out buildings were erected the soil became a Bastion of for fertility heads of cattle both feet and be for raised and as well as chickens and egg production and pigs and Ray my father also held the distinction of being one of the first Marin County Farmers to follow the stringent research requirements of raising certified seed in the early 1950s today Nature's acres is owned and operated by Race 3 Sons my three brothers

17:17 Describe how you met your husband Norman?

17:20 Well, that's a rather unique story. He actually came to Kim in the alma high school as the band director. When I was a freshman. My dad was president of the school board at that time and was actually a part of choosing and hiring him as a new teacher. I started in band as a freshman. I didn't tell him go to the junior high go to Community High School and and the Community Schools until 7th grade, so I had no band background, but I wanted to be in band. So I started in band when I was a freshman and I started playing timpani drums.

18:03 And I really love music. So then I changed to playing saxophone and I spent a lot of time with my friends in the band room and then the story kind of continues and by the time I was a junior

18:22 There was one day and he he said I have some tickets to the Opera in St. Louis and I I have one extra so would would you like to go and so I said why I have to ask my parents and I thought that there were others going and I think that my parents thought there were others going also but you know, I was excited. I've never been to St.Louis. So I asked them if I could go to the Muny Opera so they said I could go so I went with him to the Opera and he told me this story said, you know, there's somebody that I really think a lot of and I just I just don't know how to handle this and what to say and and so it was just, you know, I thought he was just asking my opinion and I'll

19:22 Glad I didn't realize he was talking about me. And so then we kind of I begin to realize that the interest in the person was me. And by the time I was a senior we we did go to Mount Vernon and do some things it took awhile for my parents to realize what was going on and they were very understanding. I really put them through a lot and I they were so understanding that just shows you what kind of parents I had but we sort of snuck around and we never did anything at school. We just go to Mount Vernon or somewhere else and then

20:09 Finally by the end of my senior year was pretty well obvious that duck where things were headed. And now in those days, yes, the little town of Kim Monday was that gave them a lot to talk about but it's okay and we have proved that it was a lasting relationship. What would be quite scandalous today? If a teacher dated a junior in in high school interesting did you guys go on a honeymoon? Yes, we did and we went to Colorado and the western states ever Western States Norman like the western states and honestly, I've never traveled very much if we took a trip with my family. It wasn't a very long when it was usually a fishing trip to Minnesota or somewhere like that. So we went out west and I really remember Pikes Peak doing that and we were gone for a week or more item.

21:09 Remember now but I've never really been away from my family that long but it didn't seem to bother too much. I I made it fine.

21:21 What were the challenges in your early married days?

21:26 I guess part of the challenge was again. I hadn't been away from home that long we lived in Southern Hills apartments in Carbondale the first year we were married we both were going to school. He was working on a master's degree. I started a degree in music education. So we lived in Southern Hills. And now we would go home on weekends either to my parents or we come here to Ramsey. And so the hard thing was I was always pretty homesick and going home was good. But having to leave to go back was always very difficult and I felt I felt bad that I was so homesick all the time, but I finally got over it and I guess that's just meant that I was close to my family.

22:21 What do you remember about the birth of your three children?

22:25 Well, Kevin, the oldest one was born when we were in Lovington. That was the first job that Norman took after we left Carbondale. He was born on January 26th. It was the coldest most wintery day that ever I remember and let me tend to small-town. So we had to go to Decatur to the hospital st. Mary's hospital. So we made it fine. It was very cold. But what I remember is my parents drove all the way to Decatur from Kim Monday to see Kevin and to see me and to celebrate that birth and that was quite an effort for them in that year of because cars were what they are today. So Kevin was born on.

23:25 January 26th, 1963 and so everything went fine and the delivery was good and we were really proud of our baby boy, and he was red-headed and I didn't think I'd ever have a redhead.

23:48 Then Kelly was born a year later. We moved to no Comas, Illinois and Norman took a band job there and

24:02 We realized Kevin was going to have a sibling very quickly again. So Kelly was some scheduled to be born in May and so I went into labor the same day as high school graduation. And so I was born in the evening and the band always plays at the graduation. So Norman did not get to conduct the band that evening for graduation because we were in a Pina having a baby and Kelly was born on May 27th 1964 in Pana Hospital.

24:49 And then a couple years later our daughter Kathy was born and she was born in Taylorville. And I remember that I always went to the hospital and had to lay there all day waiting for the baby to be born with Kelly and Kevin. So I decided that I was not going to go lay all day to have this this baby. I would know when I needed to go. So I sat at home all day with labor pains and then I did make it just in time and I don't think my mother-in-law was real happy with me. He was sitting there trying to help take care of Kevin and Kelly and I was needed and I was waiting to go to the hospital. So but we were so thrilled to have a baby girl and she was born on June 26th and 1966.

25:50 How is parenting today? Do you think different than when you were raising your children?

25:56 Well, it is quite different and being a school teacher. I guess I've noticed that maybe more than some other people would but I think parents are so busy today that

26:09 They don't really have time to be maybe the parents that we we had the opportunity to be and I'm grateful that I was able to stay home with my children until they were ready to go to school. And I know that isn't possible for everybody today between jobs and life in general. We're just a busy Society but

26:31 I being able to stay home. I appreciate the fact that you know, we were able to make enough money off of what Norman was doing that I could do that and I think parents don't discipline their children enough when they say no they don't always stick with know there are a lot of things that they aren't getting it children are not learning at home. Just basic little skills like at home. I learned to cook and I learn to do things like, you know, how do you do laundry? How do you do these kind of things are picking up your room and you know children don't have those little tasks at home. And of course living on a farm I had chores to do in a lot of children. Don't go home to chores. Actually. I had together the eggs when I was home and most kids just have no chores at all.

27:31 And they have no reason to be responsible. So I just feel like that we need to ask a little bit more of our kids and when I was teaching always told the students that I expected a lot of them and they they knew that I did but I said if somebody doesn't expect of you you'll never reach your star and I can't I know that there's a star there and I know if I expect that I'm helping you to get there and maybe we need to do that in our parenting too. And I think we tried to do that with our kids. We tried to provide an opportunity and give them things to strive for and we just need to do that.

28:19 Great, you began your professional career when your children were in school describe some of those challenges for me.

28:27 Well, I had gone one year to SIU. And after I had three children I decided that for the sake and for the insurance of being able to provide for our family that I should finish my college education. I begin by going to night classes. I finished an entire sophomore year and education going to night classes in Hillsboro, Illinois. And after I finish the hose and the thing about the night classes was Norman could be home with the kids. I gave Mom a night out and it was kind of good for the kids for mother to be gone. So that works out actually pretty good. And by the time that I was ready for that junior year Kathy was in kindergarten and so I

29:27 I was able to schedule my classes to drive two days a week to Springfield, Illinois and carry a full load for my junior year that meant a lot of cooperation at at home and Norman always had to take the kids to school and help finish them up and get them to school and most of the time I was back home soon after they arrived home. So it actually worked out pretty good, but I couldn't have done it without everybody's help and then after I finished in that year, we made that decision to move to the farm and I had the one-year left. So I drove again to Springfield to finish that year and to student teach in Ramsey, which was nice and handy cuz that's where our children were. So I did my student teaching I graduated at Sangamon State and that was quite an accomplishment for me because I had to do 3/4 of it with a fan.

30:27 And so I was not even intending to work. I got I completed this degree. So I could if we needed me to work and so that summer after I finished my graduation. I got a phone call from the no, strike needing a half time music teacher. And so I thought well that I guess that would maybe be a good thing for me to do and it would work and not interfere with our kids lives and the farm life here. I would be home two and a half days a week. So so I took that job and begin teaching and only about a year later two years later the Ramsey school district discovered that I was teaching in another school district and they didn't have music in the Ramsey school district, so they asked if I would be happy to take

31:27 When I take the other half time employment with them. So I agreed to do that. I did not apply for any of these jobs, but I guess the Lord knew where I needed to be. So I said, yes, I'll do that. Plus it was in the school district for my student my own children were and I thought that's right. So I begin working full-time and there was some challenges to that one of the challenges was getting myself and three children out the door every morning at an appropriate time to get us to work and school. We set up a schedule you had 15 minutes in the bathroom and you better not miss your 15 minutes Kevin count Kelly and Kathy and Mom and we did pretty good. We always had one who was wanting to sleep a little late or something, but we've managed to really good. The other challenge was

32:28 The fact that Norman's mom never worked out of the home and had always been at home with alvie through the whole farming season and this meant I wasn't going to be on the farm doing what she is kind of always done. So that was a little bit of a challenge because they weren't really thinking that was what I should do but it went okay and that all kind of worked out. My mom never said too much or dad. They thought it was they were so proud of me. They were really proud of me because I was the oldest child and I finished college and that was great. So they didn't really have a problem. But we we kind of had to get over that role of what mother should be doing whether mother should be working. So that was our two challenges was adapting to out the door and this new generation of Mom working.

33:27 Did you ever feel guilty as a working mother other than what you think you got from your mother-in-law? I'm just curious.

33:34 No, I never felt guilty. I felt like that. You know, I was as much a part of their lives by working and I don't like that. I was a good manager and I was able I didn't feel like I was that they were losing anything by me being there and actually a lot of them money that I'm a teaching I saved the money and that was what helped our children be able to do some things that maybe they wouldn't have been able to do so by putting my money with what we had extra on the farm. They were able to do some traveling. All three of them went to Europe as a senior when they were in their senior graduation year. And so we were we were able to provide things for our children and meet some goals I think because I did choose to work away from home.

34:31 And I'm proud of them.

34:33 Good thanks you in Norman made a major family decision when he quit teaching and you moved home to his family farm describe that. In your life. Yes. That was when we were in no Comas and we've been in Oklahoma's eight years and Norman's parents built.

34:56 A house a new house here on the farm and they lived in it just a year or two and then they decided that they wanted to retire and move to town and he wanted to give up the farming responsibilities Norman have been involved summer time and when he could in helping take care of things Norman's parents traveled some to Africa and places to hunt end. So we would kind of pinched it when things needed to be taken care of, but then they were wanting to make a bigger move and retire and they asked if Norman wanted to take over the family farm, that was a big decision it took us two years to make that decision we

35:48 Thought about it in reference to his teaching job, which he dearly loved his his so work with the band students and they have done a why did he really found that kind of hard to walk away from but I think the main pole was the fact we both grew up on a farm and we really thought when our children became youth in high school age that we would rather have them on the farm then in a town and that they'd be able to learn a lot from the farm and and maybe help out but also just appreciate the farm life and if we didn't make that move they would never have that opportunity. So we did make the move to come to the farm in that he finished his 10th Year and that was 1973 when he retired or finish teaching and we came here for full-time.

36:49 And it was it was kind of a a little adjustment because Norman's parents were in town as dad would come out and kind of roam around and see what was going on out here and squirrel hunting and do a few things. I still remember the day that I was I was home that day but he comes to the house with a squirrel that he killed and cleaned and offered it to me to cook for dinner and I looked at it and said and what is this part right here? And he said well, that's the squirrel brains and they're really good. And I said my dad never cleaned the squirrel brain, so I got some unusual things delivered to my door, but when he came out here, but we we had some fun times and then other times where we kind of had to everybody give a little bit but it was it was a good life and it was good for our kids.

37:42 What advice would you give to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren? I guess the best advice would be to give your heart to the Lord and and follow him just to stay focused on God. I really feel that God has brought us through a lot of things in our family and I think if our family will do that that he's going to carry them along.

38:04 Do you have any regrets in your life? I guess the only regret would be maybe that I didn't wait a couple years to get married and had a chance to maybe be one of those live alone college girls, you know when the dorm but it turned out. Okay anyway.

38:21 And what are you most proud of?

38:24 The thing I'm most proud of is our family. I am just so proud of our children or spouse is in our grandchildren the fact that we can get together and enjoy celebrating lots of occasions in our lives. And also how we help and support one another that you know, we're always there for the other person not all families not all families have that and we think that we have got a real joy and a real thing to celebrate their

38:54 I agree. Thank you so much for agreeing to be interviewed, Marianne. Thanks.