Jane Brunson and Bob Brunson

00:03 Okay. My name is Bob Brunson. I'm 62 years old today's date is July 18th, 2015 and we are in Marina and I am James father.

00:20 My name is Janie Bronson. I'm 20 years old today is due date is July 18th, 2015. We are in Marina and

00:32 I am mr. Bob Brunson daughter.

00:37 Okay, so Jamie, yeah, you know, I love story Corps and I really wanted to take some time to do an interview with you just for fun. And I thought a lot about what we might want to talk about. So.

00:53 I always think about how what makes you stand out or what makes you different is that you are born blind and

01:04 Although that's probably the main thing that identifies you to everybody. The amazing thing to me is how absolutely typical you are and most other instances. So I just thought it might be interesting to talk a little bit about that. So I was wondering when you first kind of realize that came to you that you were different than everybody else in that other people could see in that you couldn't

01:35 Ascension question, I think I've kind of always known like from my earliest memories that you know, there was a thing about me that made me, you know way different and I remember other kids will be like to realize that you can't see in like the rest of us can and I'll be like, of course. I know that why would I not know that I remember when I was like, maybe three two or three figure out why this was that I could not see anyone else could

02:04 And I don't know what it was. I was outside and I got bitten by an ant and I had this memory of being bitten by ants and somehow I connected it to maybe this is why I was blind with makes no sense now, but I was like to

02:19 But yeah.

02:21 I don't know. I've always just I've always just known as I was just something that I had to deal with. It's not anything that bothers me. It's just part of my life and having like grown up knowing that I was different and having to deal with kind of the way that people treat me differently through no fault of their own just because they're aware that I'm blind and sometimes they don't know how to handle that. Yeah, that's always been there and it's always been a part of who I am.

02:50 So what do you think? You know, this is the biggest problem that you have are the most challenging part of being blind cuz I know that you're really social. I mean you like people you like to talk you very interesting.

03:03 But I suspect that from our conversation before that is challenging because of different reasons. So going to talk a little bit about that.

03:13 Some people are awkward. I love people. I love talking to people.

03:21 But yeah, like I said before they don't.

03:24 They don't know a lot of other blind people and they don't know how to handle that or how to approach that. Like I've had so many people come up to me and say I'm so sorry, but can I ask a really really personal question and I'm like, yeah go ahead of her do this before they like, were you born blind and I'm like that's not a personal question at all. I'd be happy to talk about that with you talk about that with anybody, you know, but they think it's like this awkward horrible thing. They should mention.

03:51 And the people who do ask those questions are like the best there's a lot of other people who just try and pretend like it's about something that's bothering them when it is and when I can tell that it is so that's difficult a lot of times and not come in college, you know their situations like a large group situations where if people have the choice bill just kind of avoid me and go talk to someone else who they can relate to better on a more immediate level.

04:19 Which is difficult because I can't being blind. I can't necessarily look around and see what people are doing who's talking to who I might want to go approach and talk to where people are necessarily so I can't really be the one who approaches people.

04:35 And starts conversations and the Oh Sees those correct social cues to know when it's a good time to start a conversation. I'm so all of that which people who can see kind of take for granted. It's just difficult than it gets incredibly frustrating at times.

04:53 You know the whole idea of being alone in a crowded room and all that.

04:57 So in a sense you're kind of dependent on those who seek you out.

05:02 I would say so annoying is that fact is maybe that's a good thing.

05:09 Well, it's out. It's only good thing when people are seeking you out. Sometimes they just don't okay. So I think it's always been that you've been quote-unquote special because you are blind in the big identifier. Of course, you know, the first thing people think of is that you're blind and the kid with the cane the blind grow. So having that be such a part of your identity that aside how would you like to be known?

05:43 I don't know. I've never thought about before it's just always I was always just a blind girl and I was okay with that.

05:50 Some people don't even know my name. They're just all that's blind girl, which might seem kind of ridiculous or offensive, but I don't know I'm used to it.

05:59 Actually when I came to college at UCLA, there was another girl who was blind in my year and the other like 6,000 kids in my class. It happened to be some other girl he was blind and I was like ridiculous for me because I'd always been the only blind girl around in my school or at like anywhere and it was like this huge identity crisis is so weird and I like had trouble like talking to this girl and I like I don't know it cuz I was like, this is my identity you like who are you you're just coming in like people think that were the same person now just because we're both blind and it really bothered me when she decided to try being an English major because I'm an English major and everybody was like, oh that's nice, you know black people are English majors and I was like, no they're not. I'm an English major has nothing to do with me being blind to her being blind. So the thing with that was that I felt like,

06:54 People are putting us in one category because we were blind and we were very very different people.

06:59 But you know, I thought about all that and got over it and we're friends now. She does around thing and I do mine would like to be known.

07:11 I don't know. I kind of work at that. I think I try to get people to know me past the blindness thing. I'm a writer I write a lot of short stories. I try to write novels. I haven't finished one yet, but I think everyone who knows me best knows that about me and knows that I am really passionate about writing about reading.

07:34 I don't know. I would like to be known as a good person. I think that most people like me.

07:42 Yeah, I don't know. It's

07:45 Something that I never thought of I think just being known as a blind person has given me a sense of my own identity apart from the way that other people thought about me.

07:58 So I had to kind of for my own person whether people were aware that a word knowledge in it or not.

08:06 Okay, so then what makes a person good? I mean, what would they want to be a good person? What would that be?

08:17 So to me being blind and not being able to do certain things or interact with other people as easily a good person is somebody who would recognize that and who would not only accept that but realize that that was in a way maybe a strength or a good thing and not not it you no liability or a huge problem.

08:41 So yeah, I guess that I would like to be the kind of person who understands people's differences accepts them and

08:51 Understand how people view themselves and their own differences.

08:55 And just isn't uncomfortable with that is comfortable enough in myself that

09:02 I can talk to people about themselves and I can get to know them and they can get to know me without you know, trivial obstacles between us so much of what we base our relationships on others at least two initial impressions of courses how people look and so none of your opinions of people are based on appearance, which is such a huge part of what quote on quote typical people base their opinions on and so I've always thought about that and wondering how that is and how that works for you so you could be looking at somebody I mean not looking actually you could be talking with someone that other people would consider

09:50 Ugly, maybe you're even go task for that matter. And that wouldn't make a bit of difference to you and even be aware that you would just be aware of their personality.

10:01 So have you thought about how that works? Yeah, a lot of people will ask me like what do you think? I look like what do you think about it? Like you want to know? I'm like no, like I have no care at all. I do not care like it has nothing to do with anything for me and everybody's All Amazed by that.

10:22 But I don't know like my mom always made a big deal about do you need to like look presentable and need to wear certain clothes and you to I don't know make sure that you look you look good because everyone else, you know judges based on looks or not judges, but makes decisions and has you know first impressions based on that.

10:43 So I'm aware that that's important and that's important other people and I understand why that is.

10:48 But

10:53 I don't know. It's really not important to you know, do you ever wonder what you look like?

11:01 No, not really. So your mom tells you you should look presentable. Are you should at least pay attention to some degree?

11:14 I asked like my roommate for example if my outfit matches or you know, things like that just to make sure that I don't look completely ridiculous. But as I'm going about my day, I don't usually think about it. And if I ever do it means that I'm you know, self-conscious and uncomfortable which isn't a good situation so ideally I don't think about it ever.

11:34 Okay, so then when you're going out and about he said so that's another thing. So I think when most people consider being blind probably the biggest fear that people would have is like, oh my gosh, how would I thought I get around, you know, so if I were blind right now, I would think I couldn't get out of this chair cuz I'd be bumping into everything and so how do you manage that how you get around? I'm so a lot of blind people manage it differently. It's kind of an individual thing.

12:13 I usually just have people help me. I hold on the people's arms and walk around with them.

12:20 I do do like my belly by myself. So I will learn routes how to get to certain places. I like my classes in school or you know, the cafeteria are important places. I need to get to

12:35 But that hasn't a big problem for me. Like when I was younger. I know it's got a lot better but I just would hate going anywhere by myself. I was afraid that I get lost that I hurt myself that I really forget that was wandering around and it was like a big phobia for me as a child.

12:53 I just gotten way better since I've gone to college. I definitely walk around on myself more and have more confidence in myself and kind of learn my way around to more consciously.

13:03 But I know I think the thing for me with that is that it's embarrassing cuz like

13:10 I'll be walking along going somewhere. And I know that people are staring at me or people are thinking I got to ask a person if they need help. I thought she liked you need help and I like notify not like I'm good in like are you sure like, I don't really believe you're fine. I'm like, yeah. I know. I'm totally fine.

13:28 I know that they're still watching me saying she really fine. I'm going to stare at this person to make sure and if they mess up at all, then I'm going to understand that. They're actually not fine. You know, it's like a

13:41 I don't know just makes me really self-conscious. So even though that I do need to get to places on my own sometimes and I do that. I just heard a walk with people cuz when I don't feel that

13:53 Not making other people nervous

13:56 What is what has been your most embarrassing moment like this you ever go to a class and that's only sit in somebody's lap or anything like that to the wrong classroom one time.

14:09 I was kind of awkward but it was okay cuz it was over in like 30 seconds. One of the professors or teacher assistants was like we're taking a midterm in here and I was like, okay that must be there on class cuz we're not taking my time today by that was not embarrassing but

14:25 I remember there was one time in high school wear.

14:28 There's like a board. I'm in the pathway or something. I don't know what it was, but I'd kind of tripped over it and like fell to my knees and it was high school. So everybody was around.

14:38 Everybody was like, oh my God, they were all like watching my friend the girl I was walking with

14:46 Was kind of a nervous person. She was really stressed out. Everyone was like, why did you make the blind girl trip, you know like teasing her about it?

14:54 Three way too much attention and then I go into like my next class and the teacher comes up and says all the principal saw you trip she wants to know if you're okay, you know, which was nice but also really embarrassed.

15:10 So like that probably everybody trips. I mean people trip all the time and nobody makes a big deal out of it. For some reason this huge deal the principle that I might have seriously injured myself cuz I stumbled slightly, you know, so those were a couple of embarrassing moments. What would you consider like the worst moment of your life? Do you have like a time when like, oh my gosh.

15:45 Nothing comes to mind. I mean, yeah, I mean there have been things I've done which were unpleasant, but I can't think of like the absolute worst crowning moment of my life. Okay illegal, nothing illegal about the best memory man. That was like the coolest thing as a perfect day or just the good thing.

16:16 I had a lot of good memories of my childhood not because and I think I was just a happy kid. Like the world was just full of like Wonder and everything was so cool. And I was like, I love this world so much. I love this place. I love all these people for no particular reason just cuz I was with you know kid.

16:40 I don't remember.

16:43 Like I went to a Catholic school called st. Thomas for elementary school and

16:50 I don't know. I just remember like

16:52 It was recess. I was playing on the swings. Everyone else was kind of playing around me doing their own thing.

16:59 And even though I wasn't like I wasn't close to anyone I wasn't playing with anyone in particular. I kind of felt like I had this place within this larger scheme of things like I belong and I was doing, you know, the exact thing that I was supposed to be doing and I was really happy.

17:17 And

17:19 Yeah, I don't know seems like everything everything was working out in that moment.

17:25 So what might be a perfect day today? I mean, what would

17:29 And I kid about drowley our dog our jolyon are poodles.

17:34 30 and a half years old. He's got two feet in the grave and two paws on banana peel but talk about when it's time for him to be done taking out and having a perfect day taking him to the beach having hamburger, you know stuff like that, but you're perfect. You're so awkward.

18:02 Well, the reason why I love going off to college was because unlike in high school or when I was younger people you have one at UCLA is pretty intelligent open-minded people just come up in like talk to me and they be like hi. I see you're blind. That's so interesting and I don't know they were just like start conversations and like want to have relationship with me by everything and it was like this barrier which I felt have been taken down and I was like, woah, this is so amazing.

18:35 And I remember.

18:37 A few summers ago

18:39 I went to Maryland to go to this camp for blind teenagers and I remember like sitting on the bus as we drove into Camp full of these other blind teenagers and talking to all of them and like having a sense of wonder being like I'm just like everyone else like for the first time in my life, like everyone else here is blind everyone else knows exactly what that feels like, we've all been through the same things. We can all relate to each other like I'm not different anymore and being like that's crazy the crazy thing I ever thought about us like a combination of that wear.

19:14 Even though I Am So Blind, I'm still you know different that that would be a good thing and not that that would be like the only thing about me but that people would be able to acknowledge that and move past it and that I could just like

19:28 Talk to everybody.

19:30 I don't know.

19:34 Well, what do you think your life is going to be like in the future? I mean most of us I didn't think about what we want our life to be what will be able to grow up or whatever. What what do you see your life being like

19:46 So I try not to think about being blind as affecting my future because if I started doing that then I would just be like I would like to do this. But how am I going to do it have to figure out all those steaks and it would just, you know, ruin my whole thinking of the future.

20:03 So I just figured you know, I'll make these goals if problems come up while I'm going to try and get cheese and then I'll deal with them as they arise and I'll just you know decide what I want to do face not based on meeting blind up based on you know, what I think would be best for me and what I like to do and all that so

20:25 What is that? So, you know that I I want to be a writer. So I'm looking all until like a publishing industry and I'm trying to get some my stories published. My first story just got published actually like it's coming out in January. So that's exciting the first story.

20:41 But yes, I'm working on that path and what I love about English and writing is that being blind doesn't have any bearing whatsoever on it on people pick up a book or story and they don't know anything about the author and you know, that's fine.

20:59 A c also

21:02 I am going to I'm thinking about going to law school and getting a lot of great. I'm not sure I like what field of law I would study or how being blind would affect that but I don't know. It seems exciting. It seems like something that I'd be interested in and that I would be good at so.

21:20 Working towards that

21:23 So you were in mock trial in high school? He did that for years. Yeah, I do that. I was fun.

21:32 But you can get on an interesting thing about that is my coach was an amazing guy. But mr. Tire.

21:43 But he was saying like I think you'd be a really good motion attorney. Like for mock trial is basically it like you have a high school team you get a like a fake court case that you can try and then people are like lawyers and Witnesses and you have like a, you know, trial battle against another team in front of the high school like in a real court house a lot of times with a real judge. I'm going to try and win the case.

22:09 So like a motion turn ER pre-trial attorney was there was like a point of contention that had to be argued before the trial could begin for example, like whether a certain piece of evidence should be submitted. So that was like a thing where you would set up in front of the judge by yourself and you would give like an argument about that and answer questions about, you know, from the judge single what about this and that we have to have cases for your argument everything so my coach. Mr. Tire kept on telling me, you know, you'd be really good at that.

22:40 So on and so forth, but he I could tell was kind of hesitating because I was blind and he wasn't sure if he was worrying about all that. He was like What if there's like some visual cue from the judge that like you don't get and then you can't like properly, you know till what's going on all these kind of things like he was worried about with me standing up in front of a room full of people trying to give an argument not being able to see so it took it took a while.

23:11 I had to go through tryouts like twice and finally he was like, okay, you know, I'll I'll let you try this.

23:19 So I remember the first like a couple times he had another kid kind of see really close to me and say okay, you need to like whisper something to drain if there's ever something going on that like she can understand it's going to like affect. You know, how she's doing.

23:33 But then after a couple times he kind of told that person I can't go back to your seat. Like she doesn't need you there you do in her space, but

23:44 Yeah, that was really fun thing that I did. So I was able to stand up and give arguments in front of real judges.

23:52 How did you do?

23:54 I did. Well, I usually won my motion.

24:00 Okay, and so will you think about that part of your life? I know one of the things that you do most women think about is having kids.

24:10 And you know, I heard what you just said about not wanting to the think about being blind and how that might impact it, but you must have thought a lot about that.

24:24 Having kids and getting married and all that. I kind of have to think about being blind because it will affect other people.

24:30 So

24:33 I do like I do. I really do want to get married and have a family which I know is possible because I've seen a lot of other black people do it. It's just a matter of figuring out how all those things work on which anyone has to do regardless of you know, what problems or disabilities they have when they're building a family.

24:54 So yeah, I think that.

24:58 I know I just have to rise to the occasion. I guess there are certain things. Like I don't want my children to have to you know, take care of me in any aspect or have to worry about you know that I need help with certain things. I just want them to be able to take care of them and want them to you know, grow up and you know, focus on themselves and their their own development. So being aware of that I would just

25:22 Arrange things and make sure that I knew enough and knew what I had to do so that

25:29 You know, they would never have to worry about me needing things from them.

25:35 I don't know like what that would look like, but I know that.

25:40 You know, that's what I would want for my kids. So I would I would just need to figure out how that would work.

25:47 Well, I guess I'll add that has to do with in who you might, you know, Mary to so have you thought much about that the kind of person that you would like to be with and that people trying to raise kids with and all that. I'm so it's frustrating. I was kind of joke with other blind people saying that no one asks about the blind girl because, like I said, people are awkward are people aren't sure how to approach that. I had one guy back in high school. Say I have a question. Like how would you ever have a boyfriend cuz like could you go to the movies with them?

26:22 And I was like, yeah go to movies all the time at some point, but like being a people just don't understand.

26:32 So, I don't know. I mean it is frustrating. Sometimes people just go on casual dates and I don't really because for someone to you don't want to really get to know me it wouldn't just be a casual thing cuz there's a lot a lot of other things comes with it. So, I guess that that would be the kind of person like

26:52 Someone who?

26:54 Just I guess inherently understands.

26:59 Some of the differences and issues that may come up and a lot of times that there won't be that many differences and issues or you know, as many as some people would at first assumed it would just be willing to consider all that and deal with it, you know, someone with an open mind, I guess the obvious thing of being blind and singing. Okay. Well that's just a minor inconvenience for you and it's something that makes you stand out but that's not who you are and that's not what you're all about. So, how do you do that? I mean you just guess he just wait and that kind of happened tonight. I guess what happened just like in the real typical people.

27:49 You

27:53 Are Catholic you said? Yes your 20?

27:58 Why are you Catholic? Why do you say you're Catholic because he raised me Catholic and it hasn't impacted your brother and sister that so why do you still think you're Catholic? I think I'm just the kind of person who sees meeting and everything and to me. It just makes complete sense that they would be a God who is and a kind of arranging things and taking care of all that. Not only is it comforting and reassuring but it also just I can't see how

28:31 How else everything would work would be working if there wasn't some higher power. So yeah, it was really nothing for me. Like even as my brother and sister were kind of questioning religion. I thought about it and I was like, you know, that's not the main point main point is that

28:53 You know to be a good person and to follow Jesus teachings and to have faith in you know, the height of the whole higher-power idea and that, you know things work out for you know, the greater good.

29:07 So you just happened to be born into a Catholic Family. So you went to mass and kind of follow the the Catholic dogma a gaster like a better word. Did you ever think about what it would be like if you were had been born a Baptist Dora or Jewish or Hindu or Buddhist kind of like I said, I think I find meaning of things and I'm just kind of a spiritual person by Nature. So whatever religion I would have been born into I would have just you note taking that what it was. I think that religions are

29:45 At their core kind of the same or they have a lot of similarities.

29:52 So yeah, I mean, I think that I would always be religious no matter you know what I was born into.

29:59 But if you weren't born into a family that that has a religion you ever think about that.

30:07 No, I mean maybe I would find a religion. I don't know but I would definitely still be spiritual.

30:14 Don't be a know. What does that mean? The Mystic type person I'd be like

30:20 There's so much meaning and Power in the universe. Now, my friends will be like, yeah, whatever anyway regardless of religion.

30:30 One power in the universe. So you're born blind. You said there's a God that kind of, you know controls things and does all that. So what so why would God have you be born blind me? What's the deal with that? How do you how do you deal with that?

30:50 I know I never really had to deal with it. I was never angry about it or bothered by it at all.

30:56 I know I do fully believe in you know, the idea of Destiny. Like that's what I'm saying. Even if I wasn't religious I would I would believe in these kinds of things but

31:10 Yeah, I think that God.

31:13 Definitely had a plan or a reason or some purpose behind it and I am grateful in a way because I know I'm certain that. It's made me a much better person than I would have been otherwise kind of going through, you know, a little bit of adversity and

31:29 The whole thing about being different from everyone else and just learning to deal with all that and learning to be less shallow and look past or when Elsa differences because that's what I wanted them to do with me.

31:42 I think maybe that in itself was the reason for me being born blind, but I don't know.

31:48 What's interesting then you went to UCLA and you're a student there and you joined a sorority but it's a Christian sorority is not liking most of the other folks are like Evangelical fundamental in a conservative white folks and your kind of the only Catholic. How's that been working out for you?

32:11 It's been good. I was worried about it. At first I was like I'm Catholic. I don't know if they actually count. This is Christian or not.

32:20 I had to do a lot of like words that weren't in the Catholic terminology. Like I had to give a testimony and I was I don't know what a testimony is. But yeah, it's been good people kind of accepted that I'm now a few other Catholic girls are pledged that sorority but I'm not the only Catholic anymore.

32:39 But yeah, and it's been kind of interesting. I kind of have discussions with people about you know, the differences and

32:47 They're all very accepting. So, you know, it's cool. So you talked about you know, your faith and you kind of have this faith and believing in a higher power and there's some Rhyme or Reason to the universe and all that. One of the definitions of Miracles is that when things kind of happen outside of the realm of you know, normal things are the routine. Can you think of any time that you may have been a part of a miracle or seen a miracle or anything like that? So I guess it's just my personality. I see Miracles everywhere.

33:30 I don't know like

33:34 There's so many I mean every time that I make a really good friend. That I think that's a miracle and that it would never happen. But just that it's a really cool special important wonderful thing, you know, which I think Miracles are

33:51 I think of like last summer when my sister and her friend got those two puppies and I kind of had to take care of them and I could watch them grow up and that was really cool and special and I know that that came back to me. So I would say that I was kind of a miracle. I don't know like

34:10 Does everything save Miracles everywhere?

34:14 Friend, so Maggie your big sister and your sorry. Yeah. So is she American same belief system. She is very spiritual believe in destiny and all that. She probably say the same thing about me, but

34:34 Yeah, we met when we cuz I was rushing I was really not sure if I wanted to join the sorority. I was just going cuz you know one of my friends was doing it. She wanted me to do it with her and I met Maggie and I don't know which became friends and we kind of knew that we would stay friends and that we would have this connection and that as the you know time progressed in a couple weeks. She was going to be my big sister and I was assigned to be her little sister in the sorority and that was just perfect. That was just right and we just both felt like that have been arranged in ordained.

35:11 And I don't know it was just quicker Oculus.

35:16 Do you think being born into our family was a miracle?

35:22 Probably

35:24 I don't know. It's just my family. It's it's easy to see you know, your own family as being Monday and you know boring but considering all the other places I could have been born basically any other place. I would not be where I am today and I would not be as happy. I would not have accomplished as much singing about all you and Mom did for me as my parents. I think that's definitely an amazing thing.

35:51 Do you think your sister is a miracle? I love my sister. She's eccentric. She's special.

36:00 Oh she gave you a nickname her to several billion since so, what did she call you?

36:08 So these days she calls me best short for Bisquick after we always wondered what the story behind it is, but it makes no sense. It's not even really a story.

36:21 Let's see. I think when I was really little.

36:24 They started calling me Janie bany.

36:27 And then it was just bany and then it was just anything that started with a B.

36:32 And then it was so but you know Bisquick starts with a b and then whenever I'd be moving too slowly my sister be like Bisquick. She thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So now it's just busy.

36:45 I heard by not come from and took whatever started with a beer. All right about that. So I'm were there times when you thought maybe your sister wasn't America.

36:58 My sister and I had a lot of

37:02 What's the word disputes disagreements during our childhood?

37:09 Which is typical, right? Yeah, I'm sure it is.

37:12 I think that my sister Claire and I are just extremely different people.

37:20 I don't think she believes in Destiny or all that spiritual power stuff.

37:29 She is definitely more spontaneous less, you know introspective than I am.

37:36 And she just likes different things.

37:40 I'm so we've gotten a lot better as we've grown up. We become really well, you know closer friends than we ever were.

37:48 But

37:50 Yeah, I don't know Claire and I didn't argue a lot when I was a kid.

37:55 Just because she was older and that's what older sisters. Do I've heard.

38:02 Yeah, well, you know you talked about the family and stuff like that deer realized it has anybody ever told you how handsome your dad is?

38:12 Not really know I've heard people say that you look like a teddy bear if that counts, I guess maybe

38:22 Who told you that?

38:24 Important again anything else you want to talk about that? We haven't said and you have a couple of minutes not particularly anything you would like to say to the world.

38:40 No, okay. Well, I just kind of had one last question cuz I sense you are kind of spiritual. Do you believe in an afterlife?

38:51 Yes, I do. And what would that be? Like? I don't know. I think it's kind of a broad vague concept, you know Catholicism has Heaven and all that. I don't know if there is.

39:07 I have it in the way that we imagined it or how in the way that we imagined it. I'm sure that it's not that simple.

39:15 I don't know. I think I just I just accept that I'm not going to understand right now, but I'm sure that there is, you know, some kind of afterlife or something that happens after you're done with this midlife. Well last thing I'm as we sign out. I just wanted to tell you how amazing you are and how proud I am to be your dad and how much I love you. Thanks. Love you too, Dad.