Robin Reiner and Andrea Daniel

00:04 My name is Andrea Daniel. This is May 5th 2013. I'm in Oakland California and I am a friend of my partner Robin Reiner.

00:16 That means I must be Robin Reiner. I am an immature 53 year old today is May 5th. We're in beautiful San Francisco and Andrea. Daniel is my friend. We sing together in a choir.

00:33 I'm here interviewing Robin Reiner who is a volunteer extraordinaire at Temple Sinai in Oakland, California. She's one of those Peter Pan kind of people who grabbed your hand and help you fly some sometimes she tricks you into flying but you always enjoy the experience she sings she dances. She organizes she steps up to the plate when everyone else doesn't even know it's time to warm up. She's married to the Temple Sinai in house historian. She is all things Jewish. We got to know each other through Temple Sinai choir through a conversation. I learned that you Robin did not grow up to wish this comes as a big surprise to just about everyone you meet.

01:17 You grew up in a Catholic home.

01:20 Did you go to catechism and mass Catholic schools? The first couple grades are parents took us out of Catholic school because it was getting too liberal when the nun stop right have it. They said that's too liberal. But yeah, I had the full the full on Catholic treatment catechism up through middle school. And what were your thoughts about that? Well, that's why I stopped at around Middle School. I have a brother and a sister and it went fine for them. They had a lot of it but my middle school I started asking questions. It was time to go be confirmed and I said you really want me to stand in front of the guy with the pointy Red Hat. That's the Cardinal right and I'm supposed to say a bunch of things that I really am having trouble believing and you said I should always be truthful but that's just not sitting with me. I have these questions and they don't really want to hear them questions about how does a virgin birth work exactly.

02:20 The pope really is infallible really a variety of reasons. My parents pushed me less hard than my brother and sister to continue with my Catholic Education.

02:30 Did you have friends of other religions know everybody around me was Christian of some flavor, I grew up in a very really Bland suburb of Detroit and everybody was white Christian. The name of the suburb is Grosse Pointe Michigan Henry Ford, you know the Ford family a little anti-semitic. Nobody Jewish was even allowed to live in Grosse Pointe Michigan. So I certainly didn't have any Jewish friends. I didn't have friends besides Christian was the best of my knowledge.

03:03 But that changed when you went to college it did where did you go? I went to University of Michigan. I'm going to burst into the University of Michigan fight song in a minute here. If you don't stop me and in Ann Arbor, it just so happened High. Holy days came early that year and my new circle of friends ever said are you coming with us to come with us to Services? What services will try? Holy days. It's the what? Everybody was shocked? You're Jewish. Right? And I said no, but yeah, I'll go services with you sure why not and it just so happened to my best friend who remains my best friend to this day some 35 years later. She was Jewish.

03:42 Tell Dad that has a lot to do with what will come next in the story. I think.

03:47 And what did come again to happened? I like the way she approached the world. I liked her philosophy about a lot of things and speaking of philosophy. I was a philosophy major which meant that I kept trying on new belief systems every couple weeks saying does the system makes sense now, but this is just a system of beliefs and behavior makes sense know the thing. I was most interested in was ethics bioethics medical ethics General Essex. Why do we do what we do? What is the right thing to do what's expected of us? Is it just because it makes Society work better if people aren't all crashing through red lights or is there more to it than that?

04:33 So after looking at all, the major world religions, I looked at Judaism and said well, this one makes perfect sense. I've been exposed to it before cuz I had one really gifted English teacher in high school and she had us read the chosen by high on potok when I read that I said, this is very easy. There's one God not a three-part deal cuz I never understood Franklin. What's the job description of the Holy Spirit was he do exactly. I never got that part. So when she had a sweet the trolls and I already started choking rent in high school with my parents. I said, I'm the only Jewish kid. I know born to Catholic parents. That's so weird. My mother always did think that was funny. My dad was just bewildered by that.

05:17 I also have to mention that I was born with a head full of dark brown curly hair. I didn't have baby blue eyes. I had Brown Eyes by the time I was in high school. I had a distinctly Jewish appearance, but I didn't even call it that could know anybody Jewish all I knew was that by the end of junior year of high school. If I drink a can of soda or pop as we correctly call it in the best if I drink a can of pop by the time I got to the end of the can I usually spill the last half down my front seriously because frankly my nose was now so big that that's I would spill the cantopop tell my friend so frankly, but I got to college. I look Jewish. I felt you Wishin. I was already joking around with my parents, but I'm Jewish board the Catholic parents imagine that it just so happens that my friends are all Jewish in college.

06:14 Interesting

06:16 Your turn

06:18 So there was a point where you decide to become Jewish I did and you went well, the first thing I did is go to the rabbi at Hillel a couple times. I said, I want to be Jewish and the rabbi said you don't you know how to do that go away. I did not know that in the Jewish tradition when somebody speaks conversion the rabbi supposed to discourage you three times go away go away. And did I mention go away? I did go away. I went to Cleveland to go to grad school. And then when I was 21, I was home at Christmastime how appropriate I took my mama side and said guess what? I'm going to make it official. I'm going to become Jewish.

07:01 Imagine I thought that would be a big surprise. She wasn't the least bit surprised. She is active me aside. Did you know this is probably a good time to tell you something. Oh, what's that? She said she wished. She said that her father was Jewish her mother was not.

07:19 And we were living this wildly anti-semitic suburb of Detroit and you were not even supposed to buy property in Grosse Pointe. There was actually restrictions the deed to my grandfather's house actually said you may not transfer this property to any one of the African or Hebrew race.

07:37 I didn't know I was part of a different race. You know, I always thought it was a white chick, but

07:42 You know, it was not okay to be Jewish later on. She told me that when she was dating the boy next door actually one door down. They got engaged and when she said by the way, my father's Jewish. Is that a problem? You said Sia babe have a nice life. It was a problem. So when she was in college and met my father this nice polish Catholic boy, and he said what religion are you? She said? Well, it wasn't really raised anything, but I always wanted to be Catholic. My favorite Nanny was Catholic and I barely used to be Catholic.

08:15 So she had converted and become super Catholic they say that a convert is the worst kind to whatever it is. They're the most zealous will my mother was a classic example of that.

08:29 I'm not going to go into right now whether I represent that adage or not. But yeah, that's where my mother told me the big family secret and did she have any hidden pictures or artifacts or things that you showed you such a good question. Actually I asked her do my does my brother know does my sister know she said yeah your sister knows because she found some family photos.

08:53 From my grandfather's side of the family in front of my mom and said these people look like they just came out of concentration camps. And she said, who are they and my mother had to explain? Yeah, that's your cousins and they did just come out of concentration camps. So my sister had already stumbled on the big secret, but my mother is sworn her to secrecy.

09:15 My sister said Can't We Tell Robin and my mother did she seems to be finding her way. Just fine. Leave her alone.

09:21 Was that a relief for your sister to know you knew I think it was and it certainly put a lot of things in perspective for me because a lot of things didn't quite ring true when I was growing up. It's funny how my mother tried so hard to produce 3 Catholic children that in her zealousness. She ended up producing one Catholic son remains very staunchly Catholic to this day. My sister went off and was studying Sufi Muslim poets. And then she got me her Jewish kid sort of funny that how do you try to cover things up? It doesn't work.

09:56 But in fact, I think my mother inadvertently gave me a fairly classic Jewish Education. She really stressed the importance of Education of doing the right thing do what needs to be done. Not because you're going to rack up brownie points for an everlasting life or whatever, but because it's the right thing to do. It's in your human being job description. So she ended up raising a Jewish kid anyway,

10:18 And when you actually started calling yourself to itch how to do to do express yourself any differently, did you do things differently or start studying or what happened? What happened? Next was a long journey it you would have thought that if you went through a formal conversion process Presto change-o, you're Jewish. I don't think that's true of pretty much any Jew by choice. And anybody who has become a Jew by choice usually much prefers that term over a convert. But for me, it was a long process that I realized started in the Middle School Leaving one Camp because you don't belong there and you just know in your gut you don't belong there and then you travel for a while. I would consider my college Years and law school year is a lot of wandering until I realized that's where I belong.

11:09 So it really wasn't until I was in my early Twenties that I fully arrived in the Jewish world and said This is Where I Belong this is all very easy. I get this there's no no Miracles. No, nothing that I can't accept. I like this I get this but once you become officially Jewish, which I did when I was about 24.

11:32 It takes a while for your Jewish identity to continue for me to figure out what is this really mean when I say to somebody else would he say what are you I'm Jewish that gives you $0.01. But until you become Jewish on the inside your Jewish identity doesn't just descend any fully-formed you go to the Mikvah if you choose to have a fairly standard conversion a fairly observant conversion, but it's not like you emerge from the water that I'm Jewish there a particular Rabbi or teacher who influenced you I had a fabulous Rabbi. He was in his in his first Pulpit at Temple emanu-el in beautiful, Cleveland, Ohio. His name was David Weiss, and he was a wonderful guide.

12:18 He knew that I had a ton of questions and he was very good at helping me figure out. What was the next question to ask. He didn't have answers that he helped me. Ask all the right questions about what it what does this mean now that I'm Jewish? What does it mean? He was great and I had wonderful teachers at every point in my life.

12:38 And then you had an adult but Mitzvah in Israel, and I want to get to this part I did it was awesome.

12:50 I had throughout my twenties and thirties and forties just been busy living in the Jewish world and getting very involved and

13:00 You know Joyce always belong to a synagogue always saying in the synagogues choir that had choir and then it got to be late. 2004 Rabbi Steve Chester of Temple. Sinai said, there's going to be a congregational trip to Israel who is going to go was going to happen in 2005. And I realize there was one thing I had not yet done had not learned to speak Hebrew couldn't read. It couldn't speak. It did not know what it said in the tour at so I was felt like picture this picture you moved into a house with a lovely group of people and they're certain signs on the wall in the kitchen and for all you know, they may say take out the trash, you know, run the garbage disposal after you're done. I don't know what they say. But to feel like you really live in that house. You kind of need to know what the signs in the kitchen so I didn't know what the sign said. So I said, I really I need to learn Hebrew and if I set up to do this said Rabbi, can I do my butt Mitzvah in Israel?

14:00 About six months. He's a how's your Hebrew 90% really hard and you got a good teacher. Yes. I think you could the logistics are doable. So I found a fabulous fabulous Hebrew teacher and Sasha Cohen, and she said if you're willing to work at this, I'm willing to work at this. Let's go.

14:19 Six months later. I was in Israel having my bat mitzvah on a kibbutz in the northern part of Israel.

14:26 Interesting lie to tell you the difference between here and is real when we got there. We said, oh can we borrow the keys to the Seneca, please? And they said the guy who has the keys off the property right now. Well, you know the button that says tomorrow this Apartments, but yeah, but that's fine.

14:47 To rush ahead in the story. They thought was named like Robin I was boy. Well, obviously I'm a girl and this they said you cannot as a woman read from the Torah in our synagogue. You can do it in one of our conference rooms. Maybe we'll help you borrow. Somebody else's Torah, but you're not doing it in our synagogue hard to believe that there are still people in this world that that's how they feel but having my butt Mitzvah there was so moving because remember my Jewish grandfather living back in Grosse Pointe headband in the closet his whole adult life pretty much was not okay to be Jewish.

15:29 So to go to Israel and be able to tell his story and be able to say his name Herman Fisher and Israel knowing that and this is the most important part of the story that I left out.

15:42 All of his family was wiped out in the Holocaust everyone but one brother gone his cousins his nieces his nephews everybody and hungry and his family was gone. There was nobody to remember my grandfather jewishly. He had died in 1963 does an important part of the Jewish tradition that says we say kaddish for our love but there's nobody left to say kaddish for him. So I felt it was incredibly moving to be able to go to Israel stand up in front of a portion of our congregants and say my grandfather was Herman Fisher.

16:18 His family was all killed just cuz they were Jewish in hungry in World War II or some of the most brutal crimes were committed and not even by a assessment at the end. It was the end of the war only 6 SS men were sent into hungry in Budapest. It was fellow hungarians who are perfectly willing to help round up the Jews stuff them all into the great synagogue in Budapest and make sure that they were wiped out.

16:46 So to be able to say my grandfather's name and reclaim his Heritage intact. I took his name when I officially converted at the age of 24 Rabbi Weiss said what name do you want for yourself? I said, how do we translate Herman to something Jewish and he said well, let's look at the root of Herman and Luna is the closest thing I said, that's a very pretty name. What does it mean? He said it means face or faithful from perfect how perfect that I inherited this faith. It is skipped over a generation and I got this face off host spontaneously, so it's evening and you had never met him so I cried did I I knew him up until I was three and he was one of those really a Larger than Life characters. I remember when I remember I remember him and I certainly got a lot of pictures I've written down his entire story and set it off together Shem and sent it off to the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC.

17:46 With photos, especially if his family members, whatever family members he had before the war to make sure that his whole family didn't just disappear out of History cuz there's no one left to tell a story.

17:59 And how did the other members react when you when you told this story? Well, my brother found out fairly recently. I want to say about 12 years ago. He was making a really nasty anti-semitic remark. And my mother said, you know, there's something you need to know.

18:21 So well the news went over very well with my sister because it explained a lot. She was really happy to realize that we have Jewish Heritage. I was overjoyed because it explains so much. Oh I get it was not very happy to hear the news and this is a bit of you might say this is an explosive interview because my my mother would not be delighted at all to know that I'm here sharing her story. She's 84 living in an assisted living facility back in Detroit. If some other parts of her family heard this she would not be happy at all. This is this is still considered forbidden taboo. Yeah.

19:09 From now, I'd like to ask a different story because you are married to Fred Isaac. It's fabulous Fred Isaac who is story of Temple Sinai and generally well-educated in all things Jewish. If so,

19:27 How did your life change after you started seeing him and married him in terms of my Jewish identity and it's really handy cuz I'm on the other thing is he said today at the librarian. So whatever I have any questions, I just I don't have to look up anything. I just say honey. What exactly is Sukkot in the liturgical year in the on the Hebrew calendar? What holiday? Does that come after? How do I spell Sukkot anything like that? It's just so handy and it's very it's it's so much easier to be Jewish when you're part of a Jewish Family in a lot of Christian practices. You can be Christian go to church on a Sunday go to church on Christmas Easter. A lot of that religion is practiced in a church with your church family a big part of Judaism is observed among your own family, like lighting the candles on Friday night. You don't have to go to the synagogue to do that you do that at home.

20:27 Light the candles bless the wine Bless The Bread have Shabbat.

20:31 So it's a lot harder to be Jewish when you're not part of a Jewish Family. I had a first husband who was Jewish we were married for four years and it's just easy to be Jewish. Then I was single for about 10 years actually dated some non Jewish guys were very nice, but I realized I don't want to be the only chew at my own dinner table. It's really not. Okay. It was while I was single. I realized it's very important to me my Jewish identity. I lived in Hawaii for three years. I dated all the Jewish men in Hawaii. They were all pretty nice guys, but neither one was interested in a long-term commitment. So when I that was part of why I moved back to the mainland was I realized if I want to have a full Jewish life. I can't really do it in Hawaii is not a real strong Jewish Community there.

21:23 That is partly to do with why I chose to move to Oakland As I knew there's a big strong Jewish Community. My best friend lives there Presto change-o. I moved here in 95 right after I moved here. I joined Temple Sinai and people kept trying to fix me up with Fred for four years. They kept saying how do you make the temple? Librarian? No, do you want to meet him? No?

21:47 I thought he was.