Del Ray Cross and Masashi Niwono

00:06 Hi, this is Adele cross Delray cross. My my full name. My age is 46 today's date. I believe is the Thursday September 26th, 2013 and we heard the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco and my relationship with the Musashi. We've been friends for about 12 or something like that 12 years or so and get San Francisco.

00:36 Hi, my name is misogyny while and my age is 32 years old. Today's date is Thursday, September 26th, 2013. And we are located at the Asian Art Museum and my relationship to Delray cross is we have been friends for 12 years. My ex-partner Curran notes also dated Delray. And so that's how we initially were in a relationship for 10 years. How long were you together together with current for 10 years? So that's how to you was do you have a love of your life of a boy?

01:26 Well, you know, yes, I usually answer that question very easily today's to a little different than who's on this is basically here now probably are on his way here and then garbage can and then we've been together. We will have been together for 10 years in January this coming January.

01:53 And that in end love of my life. Yeah, that is exactly the

01:59 Word, I would use I've had lots of love relationships. But yeah, I think that would definitely be easy to say and in that would be my answer.

02:09 Yeah, well I bring that up cuz I feel like I'm currently with the love of my life Matthew and it's interesting because the similarities I feel like Delray Crossing to myself or my phone is very different backgrounds from Arkansas myself being from the bay area. But the thing that ties us together is Colonel to is a partner of both of ours in different years, I wouldn't I don't think I would appreciate my relationship with Martha Matthew and it's interesting because I think of the queer world that relationships actually mean a lot even if they don't, you know stereotypically like last forever, so I'm curious to talk to you a little bit about your relationship with

03:09 Also where you're at right now though. I like I just woke up and I think he had kind of a very unique relationship. I guess everybody does but and it was five your relationship started the longest I've ever been in at the time, but I was one of the notorious all my life. I had for long-term relationships 125 years up until now I'm almost to 10 years that I left in the most amicable. Wonderful way. I thought and in a lot less as I left in the end and even up to this day. I feel like I'm probably learned more from that relationship and certainly with able to be in a real wonderful the one that I'm in at presently. I mean

04:09 You can say that it's what I certainly would not have to be in the place of our exes and that we both actually are in very positive relationships. And I'm curious. What did you learn in the relationship of urine and I'm curious to see how that connects. Well, you know, one of the things I'd like to say that I went from current and there's so many it's hard to say and it also the trajectory of our relationship yours in mine has been that you know, we I feel are a great friend you one of my best friends and

04:59 And I'm not supposed to current unfortunately. I am not that kind of thing else. That's what I always say is that I love the meaning of love from him oddly enough because he had the guts enough. He decided that we should be in an open relationship really like shortly after we can debate whether I'm in another place item not enough for a relationship right now anywhere near like that, but some meaning of that can mean so many different things so many different people that alone

05:47 And his guts to suggest that in a successful relationship that we had that followed and you know, I learned from that experience being able to do that in a relationship. I learned what love really comment and it helped me understand what may things go from there to learn to selfish, you know, I was going to do get it and so yeah, I think I could go on about selflessness was part of this open relationship by for us. At least it was the I felt like it was the opposite and when we became open, we then within a year we're over and so it was almost the most selfish part of that 10 year olds with current for 10 years relationship.

06:47 Is a minute cuz I I probably was the one that needed that the most really didn't want that the most with me weirdly enough and I know you were living in separate places for whatever the case I turn 21 when I met him so and when he was twenty-six different Generations, but I think it's interesting so current was kind of our starting point and you Welker night. We broke up about three years ago or two years ago and you broke up probably about 13 years ago 12 years ago.

07:35 Yes, well with it would be 11 and a half so far about 10 to 11 years. You've been with all that I have to be honest. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't think it would last but we're over 10 years now and you guys have last what would you say is your secret and I don't I can't really do that to anybody but just my own personal thing which is basically has ever been with anybody all of my relationships not changed in 10 years so that to me is the most that's it and I'm going to realizing in the coming through the relationship with with the current.

08:35 Things that keep people together just one really you don't have to have anything else to print idea how to make a commitment. We had a lot of things that one normal people having relationships that age specially didn't decide that we didn't have a lot of some of the other things people do have what we had a wonderful commitment to each other and so there's commitment is love or sex and I don't I think commitment is really the only thing and I have been totally 10 from the beginning with with auto now, he will tell you a different story. I don't know exactly what is kept in years, but he's still around

09:23 Do I get taxed?

09:26 You know, I think I really do think that that's or and was really cool to have that perfect of you all the love sex though the adventure and then I mean, I think those relationships or whatever and it's just amazing how many people probably

10:02 I've had it said but mostly I've had enough but mostly I just been committed from every day to the next so I guess that's what it is all about for me in that kind of a role model. He sent in the sense that the last few years with current. I felt very pressured to movie in the relationship because I felt like without

10:28 Being in a relationship, especially for my family and for people that are very close to this is very new to them. I felt like I had the pressure of staying together because if I didn't I would prove them, right and I would prove the fact that being queer gay relationships was temporary or that there was something to it that wasn't real and so bogus, right? And so seeing you with Karen and then going on to have a 10-year relationship someone else. I realized that you know that they're it isn't the end of the world to move forward and to have your relationships really transcend and that helped me and I'm right now in a relationship and been together for someone else for two years and it's been great and I would say that the first year was hard because I felt like I almost had to come out again to my family. I

11:28 Did not only come out as gay cuz they knew that but I had to come out as in a new relationship. I had to teach them what my Denon Dynamic was with this new person and what it all meant because it's not just I'm gay but it's how do I connect with this person? And what what is my role and I'm glad now that gay marriage is legal. And yeah, and I think that in many ways you can for my family to my mother and father may still watch Japanese TV on tapes. They're not watching the news here in America. They're watching news here in America on types of what's going on in Japan. So to tell them you don't for them to know from their friends and from their co-workers gay marriage is legal and that is something that is binding here in California actually quickly change them into thinking of this is something that I should actually stop discriminating against that's really awesome.

12:29 I mean, I hope you're my background and maybe this has something would you like not not the norm but my thing I mean improving I never had an issue with my family and I had at two brothers two years younger than me twins that got married to a 16 year olds when they were 18.

13:29 Hasn't she was pregnant mares just did not why I asked and then my sister also has a message for kids without three. She's never been there and she will she's been married but she's never she raised all these kids basically it by herself in the country so I can have that like ouu you know that thing that I needed to prove that and I can guarantee you that that's the same kind of it's been my thing on the whole subject in the first place and I would say yeah we were together for five years. It was great relationship and I talked about it and you know, I had a wonderful relationship for all of them most of them.

14:25 The time frame especially since Autos the first person that I've ever woke up and wanted to say I listen live forever, you know, how ever that that that stability, you know, I do sort of the same thing that you're the same issue on that note. I think I make my mother come see me mainly because I hate perfect Arkansas, but I kind of have to bring all the something about my relationship in my life. I would have bring it up with my mom when I would talk to her and she would never ask me anything about anybody my dad passed away 12 years ago.

15:20 She loves, San Francisco. I buy your ticket to come out and I have the last 10 years for most every year year-and-a-half just so that she can see how I live and I love.

15:31 Showing that I'm very proud to show that to her and I'm very proud of what how that has evolved how she's involved on that subject. So I sort of kind of Me about

15:44 The relationship lasting so much is just about showing just you know that I'm a really good life, you know, and then there's an especially being gay guy. I don't think that the very first time he or she was in here she talked to me she started crying cuz if you would have been for me, I was such a facility. She just realized that you just read that the fertility drugs that she took apparently people are prone to give birth to gay children with those drugs and I'm like Mom that's insulting. Don't cry. I'm not I'm perfectly fine. I'm happy what is wrong with you? You know. Anyways, it's really it's interesting.

16:32 Yeah, well my fault my mother had guilt too and she would always say and she still does he made me feel like I have a sickness, but you never know how long cuz I am 9 years graduation that she not once really met my father. He met him once briefly.

17:17 Super uncomfortable and I don't have a relationship with my father enough to give him that opportunity to meet anyone when your lease is up in with Matthew has met my father like three or four times and I don't think I would have done that without the current 9-year situation that we were together. But the reason why bring it up is because you were talking about your mother and his guilt and it may not affect you and it affects me too and although and maybe that's a little bit of difference because at this point my mother won't say it verbally, but she said she'll see it in the Way She Moves In Her Eyes and I feel it and I feel like as much as she's as accepting as possible and I love her for them. But I also feel a disappointment.

18:14 And so I try to fill that with as much as I can and I don't know what you know, I don't know what that formula is. But I think moving forward that formula hopefully will come more clear and I think she'll be more satisfied. Did they come back? Even though the gay guy they come to me for anything and you don't buy some lot of things will be at relationships are what you know in no matter how they're going to I think they do your thing with your family. I think it's hard for me to I'm not that way. I mean, I would just be died. I would be loud and proud is why I am the way that I operate with my family about it and you probably are not in another. It's probably very cultural thing and I'm going my my partner never spend time with his mother and father admits mother.

19:13 Couple times. I've been pitch grandparents. I spent only told one thing and that is very bizarre for me rice family. It is Asian-American.

19:33 I know it's hard for me to get me to get cuz Auto.

19:38 It's okay. Don't say we're even come from but I do get that there's a very different cultural situation going on with like these chinese-american. His parents were born in China if you was born here and raised here, but you know, there's a stigma III weirdness in which you don't talk to me as weird as I'm sorry and what you just don't talk about that sort of thing and that I've known him for ten years. I'm like you've never been in my apartment. So I eat at least when I've been there. So I find it difficult kind of work with him on that. He's dealing with Athena therapy now example done it in in Texas if Mother and Father were there and I he didn't he didn't invite me and I said, you know what? I think I would be in the way if I were down there for you and

20:38 Buddy, and I don't want to do that. So I didn't so well the tightest all together to our I'm kind of curious. So you are saying that I could play now that gay marriage is legal here in California. Is that something that you would think about I think maybe I've told you a little bit about yourself before you head before I have you save you Matthew talk about it. We haven't talked about it and it's something that we look forward to as far as moving forward and I think with Curran I never felt with the gay marriage being not legal in Texas. That's where we both live for many years. I felt like there was no future. It was really let's be together and be happy that was the goal. But now that gay marriage is legal here that now I have steps to moving my relationship for but I feel like that's different with you.

21:38 Not it's a fascinating that's been evolving really fast Daniel evolves thing for me because I was when I was one of the first queer guy are gay guy that was like, why is that that's the issue? I don't have to be like everybody else didn't get it that time when we got voted out after it had been voted in Kick Me in the gut so strongly and I obviously and then I started really really like how important that really obviously was for me that validation but then I started actually just being logical about it and it's a very very simple thing to make me very angry to think that they wouldn't even possible. I'm so happy that it's come through. It's just an equality thing. That's all it is for me. That's all it is. But the weird thing is that I would have never wanted to be married and when I

22:38 I want to be a prince and a princess or you have the white picket fence and all that other good stuff all that kind of idealistic stuff and get married that was his notion of what was fun and I'm never happy and I didn't I wanted to have all I wanted to do was make sure I was happy and it was a good thing. Well 10 years later. He's probably dissolution with any kind of notion of like long-term relationship and marriage and I am a guy after especially if we're going to a couple of

23:13 Then I'm like, I don't like it. I get why this is important. I would do it in a heartbeat. I think it's a great party in an important not just two parties of an important announcement. It's an important party to have publicly so many things about to get on my hands and knees and dude, man. Let's do this, you know, and and I don't know maybe I have no idea but I know he doesn't even if his family in our thoughts switchgear, but I'm a Gemini. He's a Libra we do that one time.

24:13 But that okay. Should I be asking you a question to write?

24:17 I'm not really I haven't really done that.

24:23 Have no idea you're kidding. I'm really

24:29 Tetralogy, I'm a cancer does all I know is a Scorpio. I don't believe in signs so much. I believe in you. I believe myself being a cancer cuz that makes sense. But I don't believe it enough to move forward and be like, oh, what is your sign? How do you connect with me? The right answer is in Gemini's are the worst actually let me know whatever I am your balance out.

25:29 I was always so late, but I've had so many friends.

25:38 This occurred and watching and she didn't think she did a reading for us one time.

25:44 Hello hitting. Did you did you meet you and do you think Karina's happy Eid but I'm very proud of him. He seems like he's he's he's become kind of a rising star in a way that you have already. Well gone. And that's a really cool thing for the guy. This is start rising star for me. And it's funny cuz I've never used to like it was almost like you were like, I thought that I was when we first met you would buy my book or I'd like to know why those people all over the world with the name when you had become who you become a turkey busy and I and I have been so preoccupied in my life that I have not really devote a lot of time and energy to him, but I'm starting to do that a little bit of a little by little and what little cup correspondence do we have had is is

26:44 Announce him. He's been very nice. And he's the guy that is if there's even though, you know, he's when he's away from you. He will not talk to you. He's such a 124 one-on-one and gate and Gauger and in the end he shows up constantly at he will be there if you want one that will want to see you and so he's around a lot and I'm San Francisco tonight. And yes sometimes in these situations I think of him as a angel or as like a dream that we talked about him in this very romantic way of he's as far away person or thing that is supportive and sweet and distant and

27:44 You know, I would be a curmudgeon If I Was An Angel and we both have our own things that I probably another time that we have the current is that he identified.

28:01 That we're both passionate people in their art. We're not so much as much as you and I think you're an artist hang up filmmaker.

28:18 You have to I personally created all of our allowed for me and I and I only just very recently even talk to call myself that but I'm definitely an artist.

28:38 Is there a 150 guys want to say to each other maybe about the

28:44 The relationship that you have or one thing that you learned from each other from each other.

28:55 I would say that you know, the more we talked about her and I think current really is secondary. I think he is the starting point to the relations that we've had for 12 years. I would say that I'm Grateful by that Kern really connected us and I would say that we're both artists your poet Run film festivals here in the Bay Area and that it's very different but it's very similar and that although we have different paths in our lives and sometimes that's special and that's what binds us and sometimes that's what separates us.

29:35 That I'm glad I would say that it's special in that it's something that I don't have with anyone else and I'm glad that you're part of my world personally makes me very happy and proud for a few people and I-10 and I've been since I met you it's it's only since I've met you and I did learn if the car but it's like only reason I understand what friendship means to me so intent so intense I really care for somebody into it like have good friends and it's so wonderful to have those and have a family like I do here at San Francisco. And that's what I do with you. I feel and in one of the really cool things about you that it was something that I think I sort of had me and I read that tells us how similarity and I hope that you keep that.

30:35 Braves depth height for just wondering if you had a wonderful catch with me in that you unlike most people in the here. I'm a poet. They don't have anything to do with it. Why would they ever want to do that? And I was Nat King Cole mean so strongly with that and that will always be that person sell that really hard for so wonderful and tight to the Curiosity and that way that means to which is like really get into univ to know somebody very much. I'm very grateful that that you did that so well initially I was looking for references to me, you know why it will be so maybe how to how to be the best

31:35 Pretty good, Savannah

31:40 Thank you. Thank you very much.