Sophie Hauck and Richard Hauck

00:03 My name is Sophie Hauck. I am 18 years old. Today is Tuesday, January 5th, 2021 and we are in Marblehead Massachusetts. I'm speaking with my dad and his dad hurry up. So I'm rich. I'm 54 again speaking on the same day, January 5th 2021 here in Marblehead, and I'm delighted to talk to my youngest daughter, Sophie.

00:30 So Sophie and I were kind of thinking about how to start this and I think you know, maybe kind of putting it in the context of some of the things that we've been up to over the past, you know past few months. So maybe that would be a good place to start you want to talk a little bit of that the college application process that we've been kind of going through self 321, which is officially the year. I graduate high school, which is really strange Texan sayings my dad's how we had these shirts and third grade that we hide and they said class of 2021 on the front and it's strange now to I've certainly outgrown not sure I don't know where it is, but it's finally time and I'm spent the past few months really working on my college applications. It was a project that I wanted to start and the summer I really did try. I've been a lot of time talking with you about what I was going to write about for those main essays, but it's really hard and it's funny.

01:30 I like to write about myself. I like to talk about myself and I'm talking right now. But it it's suddenly when the spot lights on and you have a very specific but simultaneously vague promise. You don't know what's the best thing you can say about yourself that I think for you and you know getting started on the process. We probably the hardest part but once you got going you were like a in a runaway freight train in terms of being able to you Channel all the Amazing Ideas that you have into the, you know concrete action. I think that's really been a lot of fun to watch you go through that process and to think about crafting Your Story. I mean, you've really created a story that really runs through the entire process college application process.

02:28 About that you in the car. It's like I don't think there's many times in your life where you really get to just pick yourself to someone and you got to introduce yourself and they know nothing about you except what you want to say. It's a lot of pressure is you're basically I'm curating your identity and I was I'm kind of pissing this Narrative of community, you know through the various extracurriculars. I've been apart of in high school and my friends and just trying to be a part of something bigger than myself. I love that same as like such a cliche but it's it's such a an important feeling but I remember we were talking about and I was asking you what would be your patch. What would you be writing about for the college applications? It is much more structured in a way at the time, you know, there's a lot more opportunity to add stuff then I think I understand believe me the whole procrastinate.

03:28 It's almost a cliche about what it's been but this because there's so many different entry points of where your Story begins and I think this idea of community is definitely something that resonates with me the idea of being part of something bigger than yourself definitely resonates with me. So many areas that that I probably would pick, you know, if it were me I think what's really been interesting though is the whole brainstorming aspect of what we've been we

04:02 Where do I find the other one? It's funny because like if you know anything about me and how I approach school work, I don't I told my parents a lot and I do not tell them when I'm learning but I really don't like to be told what to do or police with that kind of work. I do know take pride in having independence with it as much as I can, you know, obviously I still receive a lot of support in cheerleading that's kind of you know, the the greatest asset I received from you guys, but about this has been a process that's very call involved because I like I find myself your skin on your staring at your Google Docs screen and it's this hard to know where you want to go with that so he's kind of

04:46 A few times right when we were approaching, you know one deadline or another we took out this big paper pad that we had and we've been storyboarding and that's that's kind of what we're using today. So generally direct the conversation, but I mean, why do you think that's been affected paper and Pen like physically writing down your ideas somehow it has more permanent than you know, what like you said Google doc or a notepad doc or whatever being able to physically see something to me. She gives it a little bit more permanent. I think it also it, you know, I think it lends itself well to the whole brainstorming concept as well just being able to just cuz you're a better Type S than I am. I'm not a bad Type S. But I can't my brain can't keep up me. My fingers can't keep up with my brain.

05:46 When I'm driving, but I can scribble stuff down as fast as I can think it until that always helps me to to be able to do it. What what do you think? I mean is as the process the white boarding process been working well for you, I think so in an unconventional way cuz it's it's enough but it's so weird and unnatural course, I guess you apply to jobs, but I think especially being you know the youngest and my family only have one older sister, but we have four years apart and she's 4 years older than me, but we're 5 grade depart and so I don't know very much feel like the youngest of the wedding that's a huge part of my identity has been cool kind of getting to approach this thing. I don't even

06:46 I remember her doing but I realize now all of my friends who are upperclassmen at one point. Every everyone doesn't even if it was different for you. You know, it's it's just a very life tangible milestone for this time, you know senior year that you already know is is very much like an important cultural transition. I guess they're in in our culture booming but I think you've done a really good job of almost like compartmentalizing the aspects of it. So there's the you know that the part that you have to work with the school and I'll put your high school in terms of getting your transcripts. There's the actual application process. There's the writing of the essay process and you've been very good about breaking it off into small pieces and being able to focus on each one of those rather than looking at it this one giant problem. You look at it as a hundred small problems, and I think that's really great raid.

07:46 Be able to have I wouldn't even pride myself too much and I think you're someone I go to when I'm stressed from the process I say, okay, what we'll do something fun. I can always especially during quarantine you working from home. I can spend five minutes in between classes and you know, we're kind of making fun of each other as one person's on a meeting. The other person isn't or just started laughing as cooking or listening to music. That's something that we would you a lot and I kind of you know reference and sums as is but I'm I'm sick of talking about how this is one. You know, I wrote One essay about one song that impacted me, but in reality the greatest impact at the song was the fact that you know, we had discovered it together and it was an artist that kind of I think around the past few years like we just got closer and

08:44 Maybe it was because of the music we're listening to a maybe I was in spite of it not in spite of it. But what were we listening to work very well together in and part of my role I would say in this whole process is exactly as she says the help relieve the stress and I think one shared interests that we both definitely have it is around music. So he mentions, you know, she turned me onto a lot of really great music over the last year in particular, but even before that last two or three years, I probably discovered more new music in the last two or three and I'm not even kidding then in the prior 10 or 15 years and like one one band that we really liked that Sophie relief, you know, turn me on to was Bon Iver. Do you want to talk a little bit about that and how we kind of got into that a little bit

09:44 I think it's just one of those things where it's it's kind of serendipitous and it isn't only looking back on it. You eat you feel like this was definitely the song and get it started and I heard it's not funny version on new artists by any means but it doesn't mean it wasn't rude to us. We were I heard it at my friend's house. And then she plays so much music and I never asked her what song is playing but I did ask her that one time cuz I really like the song and then I think I started playing a little bit when he happen to have a new album at the time so that I played that and then and you didn't so we drive to school every morning and there's this we have this cord that we used to play music cuz it's an old car that doesn't have Bluetooth and aux cord. What what do we call the wall of life?

10:44 Music you know from her from her I receive from her iPhone and then washing with that it was kind of like it's a cacophony but an ass and a serendipitous beautiful kind of way, whatever and then we were driving to get ice cream just a random summer night last actually not this summer, but where and what did you what did you say when you are? Well again, it's all about set and setting and somehow the set and setting were so advantageous and I was just be so as I said, it really tickled my brain mean in a way that it hadn't been in years and it just you know what I really had never heard anything like it and and really kind of fell in love with the music and I think music is really

11:44 Sheridan press with Sophie and I we ended up actually going to see Bon Iver together in concert when he played at the Garden here in Boston. So it definitely open my mind up to a genre in an area that I really wasn't familiar with but we spend a lot of time so he spent a lot of time educating me in a lot of the stuff that she's interested in music standpoint. What were you what were you listening to before me cuz you even if you've been discovering a lot a lot more music in the past 15 years. I know that when you were my age you were discovering just as much what's a great question. I mean, you know, it's a part of my area of Interest music started when I was younger than selfie but not too much younger ones in terms of joining a band when I was about an eighth grade myself is when I kind of picked up the guitar and if the timing this is a long time ago, you know, I'm a classic rock. I so, you know, Led Zeppelin the

12:44 Rolling Stones The Beatles The Grateful Dead at kind of like my era and you know, I spent years in a diving deep into that area and the great news in a we would play a lot of Beatles song. Even when Sophie and her older sister Margaret or were young and they absolutely love that we would sing along to you know, the tax man and some of the early Beatles Yellow Submarine an Octopus's Garden. They absolutely loved it. So, you know, I felt like there was that connection there. I'm definitely a classic rock. Why you know, there's an old saying that you play the music that you discover as a teenager sticks with you for the rest of your life, and I'm definitely Living testament to that but as they say, it's really been fun to know to discover a lot of new music of young music.

13:44 I would have found on my own but I really enjoy I think there's a lot of musicianship and so we spend a lot of time but she's late at night kind of, you know talking about and you know communicating and things along those lines you not around music from your standpoint. What would you say year entry or love of music? Do you have a particular time when you can think of that it really started for you. I'm trying to think so cuz I had

14:16 Mom gave me her old iPod and it's this lime green iPod and it was so cool to have something like that when you're younger is still I think it's so much more interesting looking than any other technology besides besides it was mostly wiped but it came with you. No Use Somebody by Kings of Leon on it with you don't like that song at all and it plays on the radio a fair amount of time and it's that you know that I could use one song that we just don't agree on that. I don't know why I remember like I have a few memories are just the first time you felt like you were listening to a real song because it don't get me wrong. I mean you were used to drive me we would have I have swim practice and you drive me a movie listening to the radio Disney top 10 Countdown as you could have been playing something else. I know a lot of other

15:17 Kids parents who just play whatever they want in the car, but you were you were jamming along but then you might get to a certain point where you happen to turn on the radio station at the right time and you hear this perfect song and then that kind of you know changes everything like there's 92 5 and Austin I feel like there's a lot of songs that are I don't even think it's your classic rock. It's more like I was just beyond like remind you but it's

15:45 I'm at school to here and I think to that's interesting because to me so many of the reasons why we're closed is cuz we bonded over it be shared, you know cultural experiences like we watch a show together we watch and we always talk when we watch them together and we bonded to that we happened to stumble upon the right artist at the right time. You've always been my dad but somehow just you know, I guess the nature of memory and growing up by I really I almost don't remember what it was like you being my dad before we had these kind of things we would bond together over and so it makes me wonder you're not going back to that idea of serendipity. What if what if you have we had in I hadn't played that one Bunny The Bear Song what if you hadn't played some of the music he puts me beyond music. What if you got things things work out differently, especially when you're growing up to the tiniest little changes.

16:41 Make a huge impact like we're talkin about the college applications every essay. I'm writing is based off of you know, some pivotal story that's in my mind changed everything but it does happen. That's a great Point. Sometimes when you're in the moment. It's it's not always clear what those Milestones are, you know upon. Do you know a reflection in hindsight? You really do see them and see how do you have a milestone in your brother is being an ad or just growing up that kind of you feel like set you on a different path. I can bring a lot of them. I think, you know coming out of college when I did I wasn't exactly sure what I was let you know that I wanted to do, you know, so I say that it was a connection Point. Obviously, you're not connecting with your mom was with my my wife Susan, you know, it was a big part of that. I would say though for me and where I'm at.

17:41 Especially right now being a father to you know, two amazing girls and end of growing up in a household with brother very kind of male-dominated. It's just been such a delight to have to you know, such wonderful girl, but I think probably would if I really think about what my life has been leading up to when what the you know, the culmination of what my purpose is in the in the time that we have is to really be enough 11 father a loving husband. Hopefully a good friend, you know, someone that can be counted on kind of things. I say a lot of little Milestones that probably let up the one big one really the day that you and you know, Margaret were born. I mean, it just goes to show where we're at in our lives because as much as you know me growing up like had so much to do with you.

18:42 We're also obviously in two very different planes and our Journeys and purposes and so for me, I look at a milestone and I think oh my God that one time I heard that one song or is that one time my friend invited me to come to this club Universe this activity whereas with you it's it's literally becoming you know, like creating life obviously so different but it's I think that's what I appreciate about the way you are as a as a dad and me and I think you know, if you really want to be a good adult and I just I'm an adult now to see if you want to be in a good adult you have to kind of all suspend disbelief biggest house in Burma Silla to that's that was one of our words of the worst ones, but I don't know kind of like, you know, you live through the kids in your life in the sense where they're dealing with something. That's a lot smaller than what you been the Milestones that you have but you kind of have to be excited for them and and it's never seems like this distance.

19:41 Genuine interest with you. I like you. I think you are just as excited when my big milestone is is making that friendship or you know, the perfecting that recipe or something that seems trivial. Well as you get older the days were to blend together because there aren't no same mile sounds so it's fun to see some of the things that you go through and do you want me to be careful of as a father is like what this is your journey and I don't want to I do learning from your mistakes as important as learning from your successes. I don't want to Shield you from the option disappointments and a good learning experience on some of those things. So,

20:28 Yeah, I think another shared, you know saying that the selfie and I have is we we both have kind of a similar sense of humor. I think she mentioned it earlier. I think it's a good opportunity where she is. I mean she's a very high achiever and I think she you know really works hard. So I think it's nice to just be able to let your hair down and have a silly time kind of at the end of the day. So I think that's probably also part of our shared interests is kind of humor would you be

21:04 Some sort of long conversation about it. Not that anyone's asking is too but I think that like those moments. I couldn't describe arsenic in rice just being goofy. And that means you're comfortable with someone where is and I think that's our comfort is you know, how the timer making these jokes and then the other half the time we just kind of like naturally start talking about something bigger in it and it's not always something big but you if you I guess you look at certain conversation topics closely enough and it feels big it looks big just based on like kind of the scale. I don't know. I mean I think of Cortlandt I think it's also partly because it isn't a big time in your life and this this college I can see the college application process could become such a alt cinnamon park. I think you need to just decompressed. Listen to some good music watch a funny.

22:05 You know just have fun with it. And I think I think if I also think about it to Sophie and I complement each other very well, you know, he's kind of like turn me on to the hole in a personality types in it. I think we both have very complimentary different personality types. So he's much more I would say extroverted than any much more, you know wants to be out with her friends and probably also a part in this stage of life that she's at. Where is I do tend to be a little bit more introverted but you want to talk about it from a personality type standpoint how that also gets to you know, how we interact with one another because

22:54 Neither of us are really scientific people and that's kind of the one topic where you can almost you're looking at the Myers-Briggs personality types. There's another four letters. There's 16 total personality type is your able to kind of almost do the math and I find myself. I would be an English class last year and I feel there before and then kind of be scanning the room light be doing like the calculations in my head like a robot on my car. So the first letter going to eat and then the end and then the tea and whatever and I were both I'm a I'm an ENFJ and you're so it's the kind of girl that core similarity that's supposed to kind of you see things a similar why you feel things a similar way. But again, it's it's not it's not a science. So it's it's fun to kind of theorize about

23:47 But you also kind of have that you can't lose yourself in the personality test. It can't be may I don't know everything about astrology but it's like you can't say you can't limit everything you are to all I just dissed me cuz I'm such a Virgo and you can't you don't find people in real life thing. I just did this cuz I'm a an ENFJ or whatever but it's it's interesting. It is too because again, I think without getting your idea what you know, you can get you hung up on it, but I think the one area was so he's really kind of, you know, let me know I understand a little bit more I think on those personality types where I tend to be more introverted she tends to be more extroverted. That's the focus. Sometimes people have on it is are you an introvert or an extrovert a wet? She helped me realize how it all fits together how the intuitive nature the stinking nature that feeling you're judging nature, you know, kind of

24:47 Introvert or extrovert so where she maybe is a little more extroverted than I am. We still do connect well because I think the other aspects of it we we, you know, we kind of connect on so I'm trying to think it's funny cuz you're giving me so much credit through this whole conversation and it's nice. I always trust me I appreciate it. And I mean separately speaks to the way you pack. I'm trying to think of saying all these things you learn from me. I'm trying to think the certainly I must have learned more from you. Right we all wondered what the biggest lesson I've learned from you. It's probably

25:27 You know it I'm not I don't see the problem is I I want to preface it by saying it's cheesy, but it's cheesy to say it's cheesy, but none the less you're so yourself. You are just 100% you and I think

25:44 It's a lot of there's a lot of different reasons why that could be no culturally like I think I think obviously the way boys and girls grow up is completely different. So there is a starter you can throw that into the math equation for y y you're one way and I'm another or you could tell what you grew up without social media or you I don't know you could you could tell me but at the end of the day, I don't I don't really think I think it's just you you are and I think it's a part of being wise and and growing up and and coming into your own and kind of your it seems like you're a big personality traits are your biggest characteristics are like how you relate to other people you being a dad you being you know, like kind of just a caregiver, but I think that you you've always been the one to dance in the kitchen and and and let us, you know, we would send you have to go to the store and we would like hold on to your legs and try.

26:44 Not to let you go and and you know you laugh. I think you you enjoy every little moment of life isn't sure you're good at soaking up the small little moments and it's funny cuz I'm realizing we we haven't really touched on all those small little mom's because I guess it's just there's so many of them but sometimes the most meaningful ones I you know, it's it's not even necessarily one memory. It's just kind of this like repeated tradition of going on a walk and the same place we've the little Trail by our house that we've walked since I was little and and you know you grow up and you do the same thing and play God's the memory is just that every time you go back you remember every time you did it before together. I think that's something you would you start to realize that you get older. It's it's not the one big thing. There's no silver bullet or magic and people answer that you're going to get

27:44 Enlightenment isn't this you know, Epiphany out of the sky. It's a series of small little moments at except he says if we'll go for a walk together or we'll stand you know, 15 minutes talking about a new song that we've heard of recently when during the Spring on the note of Music are used to always listen to the saddest music and I remember driving in the car with you one time and listening to the most depressing song. I said, I would just love to listen to this 24/7 and you were kind of are you okay is what's wrong because I am I what I was never happy person that I'm sorry because I wasn't feeling any of those really upsetting emotions and he is turmoil. So kind of in a way like you lived through the songs and you hear this raw and motion and it's

28:44 Inspiring its own artistic creative sense, but things are in quarantine. It was there was no way you could listen to sad music anymore. You kind of already had enough of that playing as the white noise of life. And so I started listening to kind of dance music and we would go on these walks and we would find this kind of this side road where there there were car is still at something it was not hidden but has dance party is just listening to electronic music outside and and we could have done it at home. And with anyone else I would have but I thought I think I just kind of knew like we'd go on this walk and I would I'd bring my phone and have the playlist ready to go cuz I just knew you would do it. You're always are you always are want to do something and have those small moments in and be yourself and lose yourself in them.

29:44 You'll literally danced bong like like no one's watching. So we would have those little dance parties on our walks and it's it's fun. It's a you know, it's a good shared experience something you can laugh as a little thing but it definitely I'll do as I say a lot of those little things add up to to one big thing, you know, I'm on the side of little things. It's kind of always in the back of my mind a little bit that were this time next year. It's it's not going to be the exact little moments with the college application process, which has been the simultaneous bonding because oh my gosh, I can't wait to get this over with and you're helping me, you know, whenever possible but to get it over with means to go to college and do not have those moments anymore. How do you how do you feel about this the kind of that next chapter?

30:44 Where is you know kind of two tiered ourselves over these last four years, but it you're right looking forward now the next big phase and the application process leads to do, you know acceptance what you've already gotten some and then, you know actually going and things along those lines. So he's definitely Bittersweet. I mean, I'm not going to lie to you the thought of you leaving and not being here. All the time is is there sweet but it's not every parent of your parents going to miss their child, but I I think that

31:25 I don't know if every conversation is is kind of being like the child equally missing a home just as much as that like the homeless is a child. I don't know. I think it's a sign of being lucky and I'm it's funny too. Cuz like you guys have always do this fire of me. Like you can do anything that you set your mind to do. You can change the world like you're unstoppable and yet now that I'm standing on the cusp to do that. I feel so comfortable here having my dance party in the same path, we walk down and going to the same of meetings and and know it in the people here and I'm excited to be a freshman again. I'm excited to not have any attachments to where I'm I'm going other than just my simple choice to be there. But at the same time, you know, it's nice to be somewhere where it without even have to try and people choose you you guys have always and I know I can come back to that but you always

32:25 I can't wait to see this next chapter. I mean, it's just the thought of you now, you know breaking forth in and really unleashing your your superpowers on the world are just not just you know, couldn't couldn't Delight me more hurt the person that I'm going to miss my little buddy sitting watching our show laughing over some of the goofy jokes we have but maybe that's 10% of the 90% will be to really watch you enter this next phase and really be able to you know,

33:09 So do something to honor you guys are up to and to honor out like all the lessons you taught me in your eyes. I said earlier how not that you again. You've never feigned. I I don't know that you've always been interested and and what I'm doing, but I feel like now it's finally time like for me to do something interest at college experience of it, you know over the next year to what is there anything that you've been thinking about that really look forward to getting to know the concept of chosen family and finding people who are your friends and then more and I've had I've certainly had a taste of that at camp and the club's I'm apart of with my friends here with my family here, but

33:59 I think seeing my older sister doing it and also just kind of knowing that I'm I'm ready for this new level of connection for this new feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself. I really look forward to that. I mean, I think of course I'm excited about the education and to learn and hopefully kind of agree reinstate this love for learning you've been able to read for me before I went to bed. We used to read books that are extra Bittersweet this year. Like there's this one called where do balloons go and it's kind of about what's a sweater. It's a, you know, this extended metaphor for you. Got to let it free and I guess that's that's kind of where we're at. But I I look forward to the wanting to read

34:50 You know political Theory and and literature and I don't know again just be a part of something bigger than myself that that chose me and I chose to be there at like everything so far has been a fan of the circumstance and then I've responded to that circumstance and I really tried to accept and make the most of everything. I'm a part of but it's it's cool to be in this situation where your you know, you're planting yourself. I mean, what do you want from me? Like, what's your advice for where I'm going?

35:22 Yeah, I think a lot of what you said, I think to part up part of the college experience is the education aspect of it, but you're right. It's that discount give yourself. It's really being opening yourself up to new possibilities, whether it's friends or experiences or new places, you know, the world is your oyster and I think there's a real opportunity for you to put your mark and also think about it from the standpoint. Look, you know your ear going to be in a situation where you're going from a big fish in a small pond to maybe depending on the size. Will you go to India smaller fish in a bigger Pond or you know, what a few is a good way to sand and I think you understand and keep yourself open know who you are, you know not

36:22 I think I I know exactly who I am here. Cuz who I am is in relation to everyone. I've always grown up around and who I am is like absolutely being like your daughter and so it's interesting again. Not that people at school know who you are. But I think it's like it's still in very much in the context of of like these relationships that I are. So now that I'm making these new relationships do I become someone new and responsive them? Sure. What do you hold onto and what do you what do you let go meaning who you were kind of weeds up to who you are and who you will become what I was saying about you is that in every situation. There's been a sort of a core set of beliefs and ideal As you move from school to school from grade to grade from experience too experienced theme still taking with you. So it isn't Hammond.

37:22 Throw away the old and start with the new that I'm going to keep adding to the hold your building this Foundation has like a first grade project learning how to recycle and making my own recycle paper then in fourth grade. I was you know, my class was doing the school's Recycling and high school the basically in front of the recycling bin for fun at lunch to make sure everything's being sorted correctly as a part of our school's environmental club and and you've always liked entertain that idea. I think you've always thought is awesome. Cuz I always envied the fact that you were in a band. I think that's so cool. So rock and roll and I haven't had that but I have my form of being rock and roll is sitting in front of the Campos table above all else and I've always had this Mom.

38:22 But I think

38:24 What I look forward to going to college is you guys coming and then picking me up for vacation or you know coming and eating dinner with me if I'm close enough buying and seeing me and I can tell you guys I'm all right. Like I'm I'm I'm you still I'm I'm me still is and I I really look forward to that. I think.

38:45 Through this whole conversation. We've talked about Myers-Briggs and we've talked about music and this idea Serendipity in is there a scientific way of knowing someone is there a scientific way of knowing why we're so close? I don't know. I think we just are I think we've embraced every little moment. That's that's brought us closer, and that's human nature. And that's us Greenpoint. I think it's a great thing to look forward to and I'm really looking forward to this next chapter.

39:17 Is there anything else you want to say something that she just so thoughtful about so I really appreciate this time or we've had a chance to talk to you for always talking always listening. I've always talked over you but can you let me and thank you. I think that's in some ways. That's the best thing you could do to have one person who says you know what I wanted to say something, but I'm going to let you speak first, All right. Love you too, Sophie.

39:59 I think I said.