Steven Bohnet and Hank Borden

00:00 Good morning. I'm siboney and I'm here with Hank Borden. My age is unknown because you have to cut me open, Rings. Today's date is 315 of 20/20. We're here in Lansing, Michigan. Hank is one of my friends.

00:17 And I am Hank Borden. I'm 43, and I'm here in Lansing with Steve on Sunday, March 15th, 2020.

00:28 Hank, my first question for you is

00:32 What are your 3 worst fears?

00:36 Oh, I'm my worst fear is probably flying is my worst fear, but they make some good benzodiazepines for such events, which work fairly well unless it's really bumpy flight and oddly enough. I'm not afraid of dying. So I'm not sure exactly where my fear of flying starts, but it does terrify me.

01:07 Oh, well, actually that might help the situation. I'll try that next time your state the suggestion.

01:15 Drowning really frightens me and you know since I almost drowned at your cottage and come earlier today go. Well. I feel like I did and really my in my mind we're going to do with that. It doesn't matter that makes a solution to that. I stood up. Cuz you were in two feet of water. It was about three and a half but there was a stick also and I wish I ripped my shirt on the stick. Yeah so hard that does frighten me as well.

01:48 I don't know what I'm afraid of anything else.

01:52 So you only have to think I only have two fears which actually makes it sound kind of manageable and I might be able to work on that fair enough.

02:03 So

02:04 The Bonet family has been in Lansing for many many years your your family businesses. What a hundred hundred for four and a half moon in June for the bunnies have been here a while. But your mother was born in a Little Rock she was so how did your dad from Lansing meet your mother from Little Rock? He was in service and he was stationed in Little Rock.

02:32 Which branch of service use in the medical Corps of the army? I probably knew that at one point and had forgotten that doubted know you just you that was a secret off until now because you just made it up know it's true.

02:49 So he met her in Little Rock then you did and then and then faster back here to Lansing, correct? Okay, but you were not born in Little Rock was your brother born in Little Rock?

03:03 Oldest brother was and I'm not sure about my middle, brother.

03:08 I believe my middle brother was born here. I think he was I think I actually checked on that with the county clerk's office at one point. We were working are you like running some type of investigation will not anymore. It has been completed. The results will be ready in a couple weeks. Thank you can foil those results if you would like, I don't know it for you is what I do with aluminum foil packets where you give me your credit card and I just do some shopping on Amazon and then she was on threesome + certificate of a I'm really sure that information of the code if you could go ahead and just read that for the record. Okay, that would be good tackle that later. How about that? Excellent?

03:58 My next question for you is

04:03 Hank Steve whip

04:07 Or Nae Nae

04:10 And why?

04:15 I guess I've never thought of them as is standing independent from each other. I've always

04:21 So you would both Whip and Nae Nae I would most likely Whip and Nae Nae. I think the only time I would not Nene is if I were so intoxicated that the whip took me out. Are you off an intoxicated? I I will daily daily. Usually not this early in the morning. I made an exception. It's really not that early today if that's true. That's true. So I'm I'm several in this point. I will Nae Nae for you in a bit though, cuz I will

04:58 The the next question for you is multiple choice. Perfect. This is a shag. Marry kill. Your choices are Anderson Cooper Liza Minnelli and Mike Pence.

05:17 I think about that your time. I don't want you to rush into marrying any of these people. I would probably

05:28 Mary Anderson Cooper for his money and be so bad. I mean I might get high off of experience.

05:46 It might last for days.

05:49 Slightly psychotic I am okay. I thought that you might tell you how in the way that you. Okay. Did you see what are you have? You have recently just your toe though. I thought you might say you would check Mike Pence really why.

06:15 He was my choice for shagging only because I would like to prove to the world that she would like it.

06:25 Well, that's an interesting concept but not at the cost of being inside of that stuff into my question. Do you need any other feelers on their dad? That's the end of that line of questioning? What are the qualities that you like least and most about your parents?

06:47 Take a parent and go least and most okay. Okay, let's let's start with my mother what quality do I like least about my mother? Oh goodness. This is dangerous.

07:06 My mother is always very afraid that I'm going to stay at someone's house longer than they want me to.

07:14 So no matter whose house it is. Well, not your house. She doesn't seem too worried about that. She's still in my house longer than I wanted her to this is where her fear stems from. This is all making sense now, so she will text me if I'm at my aunt's house, especially on a holiday if if my gas my mother will be one of the first to leave and then she'll text me about an hour later and she'll say are you still at Ruthie's house? Yeah, because she's convinced that I don't know. What's a green 12. Well, not only am I am I 12 but that it's it's 3 in the morning and they are desperately creeping up the stairs backwards trying to give me the hint that it's time for me to leave. Yeah. Where do you think that comes from a lack of trust issues?

08:08 It might come from crazy bad judgment may be bad judgment on my part on my part. Yeah. I must have really really stayed too long at someone's house once earlier. I could have been her house because I was there until I was you know, 20 years old and she was probably like are you ever going to get out of my house? And if we had had smartphones she probably could have texted me at that point. But are you still at my house? It might be time for you to go home now.

08:38 So that might be where that comes from.

08:41 Butter and Herb

08:43 Best quality

08:46 I think her best quality.

08:51 She would she would always she would rescue me from any situation not drowning at your cottage cuz she wasn't there and I don't know that she's that strong a swimmer. Anyway, especially in two feet of water. Well, yeah, she she might stand on the shore and judge me actually at that point then just say oh for Christ's sake what you fucking stand up throw rocks if that's possible. Yeah, we're but no camera in here. But other than that particular near death experience. I feel like like she would she would rescue me from any situation anything that I needed shoot. She would be there in the same with my dad. I could always here if I needed to flee my

09:38 Tar paper Shack in time of famine. I don't know I could always go to his house if I needed to and and hide out there from the Lawman.

09:47 I don't know if he has.

09:54 What quality do I like least about him? Probably just so darn likeable. Well, he is pretty darn likeable. I think probably what I would say like least about him is his financial responsibility.

10:09 He's very responsible financially, which doesn't really seem like a van could probably pay off for me in the long run always pretty healthy. But I think maybe it's the fact that I did not inherit financial responsibility from him. So that that's more Rogue. I did I did. Yeah, it happened sometime.

10:38 So here in Lansing if you could open up.

10:43 Some type of bar

10:46 Lounge or nightclub something like that. What is what is Lansing need? We have bars clearly there are places where you can go and purchase alcohol. You can even sit there and and drink it in the company of strangers are friends.

11:02 But if you were to to revamp a bar in theoretical bar, you don't have to name one, but you certainly could what I will I'm not afraid to name name. How would you make a Squier better? Well, if it were going to be asked where I would probably put Windows in because this is the year 2020 and we know that the straight people want to look in on the gay people and see if what an exciting time they're having I would also Shedd Aquarium. They want to tap on the glass also like uplift the the the seating two more of a club be like big overstuffed chairs and okay covered in plastic. Of course, I wasn't certain membrane that would not have anything penetrating it will get to the bathrooms in a minute.

12:02 At the bathrooms or something, I would upgrade as well. I think I would make it a more more upscale operation. I think I think that there's a place for something like that a gentlemen's club or a gentleman ladies club or a gentleman and those heavy to have yet to decide club and an it cuz I think there is a lot more people that would go out if they were were a place like that for them to go to would you keep the karaoke? I guess that's optional. I wouldn't necessarily discourage it. I would put it on a night that were maybe not as popular to bring in the people that like to carry.

12:49 And also those who like to Okie and so that way we would have like a nice mix going on you could even separate them into two different traits. You could have the Carrie notice every night on Oakey night and then we can have a dance-off for a Sing-Off type of a naked vaniville. He could be anybody year a dual. Yeah the death always for the deaf. Hopefully think that's important. I think that is I think that's wise of you so I don't doubt. I think that would probably be a good revamp especially for Old Town because I think

13:22 I think people go there for a better experience. I've also put a sign outside that said I don't know. Why are open or Club? Welcome have a we have a business here the business.

13:40 That's fair. I might also not have any smoking on the premises or walking to Smoker's as I'm trying to go into your eye for a walk. I have before I have whores is a different thing than a hornet app or that makes guess you are at you are an abhorrent. Do you do a lot of crunches when I really don't you don't you used to do crunches what happened? It's kind of waned in the busyness of life, but I kind of time for your a more in-person my dad bod. Nice good for you. Are you done with that question? I think I am. I don't know if you are.

14:24 Hank, do you think you would be a good father and why oh dear God is that answer your question, you know, I would be a horrible father. This would be to your own child out to somebody else's child. Okay, so I mean to my own child know I would be a horrible father. Okay, and why do you feel mainly because I would not want a child in my house. So you was raised Outdoors.

14:56 Until the city found out I would have to try to hide my activities probably from the authorities or the other of my extracurriculars. I don't want people to to know that that I play racquetball but also children know know why I enjoy other people's children in small doses. I like my sister's children and I like going to her house and I can visit them and and then I can leave them there. But yeah my I feel like my children would not

15:39 I would have to get bigger crates. I have small dogs are Boston Terriers and then two crates are spacious for them, but the children grow so they do they do if that's interesting. I'm not I'm not lactating. So he thought he would not be on the teeth. If you find you keep them from food like little calves. I think they would have like they would you know, if they might have one of those tender like like they they're very underdeveloped in many Tim really and I could you know, I can afford it. Crotch so I can provide for my family. You're a good dad. I do what I can I do what I can for your children. So, you know, I guess I would be a good father actually now that I'm glad I'm glad you asked me that because I always thought that I wouldn't be but I feel better about that.

16:38 I feel like I'm going to adopt. Yeah, I'm going to the Humane Society on Monday morning and I'm going to get one children from an adoption agency near interesting interesting. I always thought they had them in the back with the larger animals. Do you know that are you assuming I'm just assuming that there would be employees that had children that worked at the hospital. Sometimes have an extra to their whatever right? Right, like nobody ever picked this baby up. Someone ordered the dababy the order came in we could all that active right now that Lionel send me to get in trouble for some brightness is this is not what I ordered. I ordered a girl and you know clearly you've given his helping out in any rights, Ohio. Yeah. Yeah.

17:38 It was so worried. We're going to make another one for drifting a little bit. We might be but I'm going to look into all those options single-back will do that will do that. What's your favorite memory of me aside from this things that have happened in this conversation.

18:06 I would say you're drowning but I mean that's been so over publicized over the years and so greatly exaggerated and all the papers the and some really great memories now I can think of at the moment. So those might not actually qualify as memory and then I can bring to my sense memory area. What about your worst memory of my best memories is when you showed up at my Cottage wearing an egg have I worked really hard at was the cartoon that had colored plastic eggs in it and it was made and Ryan and it was a boy. It was an Easter surprise in the middle of summer, which is partly why it was such a surprise if there were some chicks in there. I believe there were there were none live ones not like I think they start outline survive the trails a long drive and I brought her I brought to have air condition. No seed

19:06 Put me aside from my own and they haven't had nothing to eat at was a 2-tier double decker Bonnet. If you will it it was one of those it was two of those cardboard egg crates that went. What do you get about three dozen eggs in one of those things like that. Are you buying at Horrocks or like Meyer those came from Horrocks? And I actually I donated the eggs or come here Onyx right which is why I don't need it all my eggs tonight. I'm now Barren you're ambidextrous, but now just you have swimmers. Not not eggs. Worst memory. I don't know that I have a worst memory. I mean unless you mean w e w u r s t like as in the passage that time and I went over fence that I ate all of the bratwurst flowers feels like there was like a big bratwurst to Celebration with none left for anybody else.

20:06 Really think I have a worst memory probably maybe somewhere that we were we're somewhere together and something bad happened. Like one of us almost drowned know. I don't look like something really bad happened actually bad that I would say like we were we were both witness to something that was unpleasant surprise meeting. I think that's fair that could have been there was there's some contentious meeting there when you had to sit through and so that could have been a possible. I don't know they're being forced memory, but it was like not a good day. Yeah, but then I get I did kind of go f Lee Bailey a couple of times. I would have to really sort through all of my memories to figure out what that moment was. I could take a while. Yeah. I got a lot of memories.

21:05 What's that side effect satisfactory? That was that was wonderful.

21:12 Seriously in all seriousness in all seriousness. What is your problem?

21:21 I mean, I guess in general terms you could you could say what what is it classified? I'm an asshole.

21:32 So that that's putting it in very simple terms needling asshole. Would you go with that of needling asshole? Like? Oh I said hi. Coming back to my one of my worst memories now.

21:50 Bite by kneeling people like bruises keep on and like over and over and over pestering them with questions like that. They don't really want to ask answer until you're like because you found some inconsistency in their dialogue. So you're just going to like to go into like complete asshole mode. We're going to be like, well, what is this? What what about that? Will what about this? What about that. About? What what what what what what is this? Is that a question?

22:20 You decide by feel like maybe you have correctly answered your own question.

22:28 I think that would do that in the past that may infect be my problem though. I don't see it as a problem more contentious so much as of like of an eighth of assholes at Salinas mom. I like that. I tried to live a holy life. Yeah, it tends to be in the ass end of the spectrum but you don't get it you stick with what you do? Well, and now I feel that I do excel at being an asshole some many times. Thank you for that question though. I don't think he will it makes me handed answer it. Well, yeah as opposed to a canned answer and it does make me with candied.

23:28 Candid answers

23:31 Not not candy dancers, you know answers.

23:36 Yeah, I think that's see. I think the all of that is quite Fair.

23:43 What's your earliest memory Steven?

23:48 I think it's the recurring dream that I used to have when I was little kid which would be falling down the stairs at our house on Sycamore Street, which we moved out of the house when I was two years old now and we were actually fall down the car. No. Nobody ever told me that I need to try to ask people if they can tell me what it's like you never shut up. How can we tell you anything? But I remember the in the dream it was always falling in slow motion burliest. I don't even know if the stairway is correct. Like maybe it's just an imagine stairway was I find out was in the house, I have there are no sticker.

24:36 I think that's my earliest memory of anything is is that the house with the the chimney clean-out?

24:43 No. Sandra, tell me about the chimney clean-out though. My mother told me that if I ever open the chimney clean-out, I would go blind. She was supposed to she did she do gorillas parent. I would say she was like more of a like I'm going to prevent this kid from doing things. I don't want to do and I'll just scared to death scared to death. So you had two older brothers I did.

25:08 They were fairly close in age for years for years. And then then there was a gap before you came along right? I'm 14 years younger work my little brother in 18 years younger than my

25:20 Oldest brother before you work out. Okay, but that math all works. It does work. Well, actually I I fact check that just now and it does it does take out back check. I got ejected body shamed it with a hockey stick weld with a stick a needle in a household.

25:49 You think by the time you came along your mother was just exhausted and over it.

25:55 Or did she just found a better way of parenting to just say that if you open that door, you will go blind. I think she was more in the Mind Games. She told me when she put me to bed at night to tell me if I didn't settle down and be quiet. She was going to turn into a witch and then she's safe. I feel it. It's happening a lot of fear. Did she ever actually turn into a witch Square close tonight? Before she do that? I am thinking I was going to test those Waters by that. You're a smart kid. Did you ever open the clean out a later later? Okay. I was like 19. Did you go blind? I did not. Okay. Okay. The story doesn't write happy. Is it gonna come down here and look at this? You won't believe it.

26:48 Crashes in here we've been cremating people and I didn't go blind ashes of the blind people that have looked in here before.

26:58 My next question for you is

27:03 How many elementary and middle schools have adopted the bug and wish program to Aid in communication and resolving animosity between students?

27:14 They used to phrases. It bugs me when and I wish you would think what is your bug and wish?

27:24 So I guess the answer the first part of your question. I think you may have made this whole thing up. This is a real thing elementary schools are doing nothing. I'm not sure I want to schools and middle schools. Okay. I don't know how you know this doctor and his my paperwork and I'm I'm somewhat frightened that you have this information about elementary middle schools, but we'll visit that later. So you're saying so it it bugs me that and I wish that

28:02 Well it

28:05 Steve Steve, I feel like we're in the trust tree, We're in the in the nest. Okay right now, okay, but from the wig

28:21 So I would have to say that it it bugs me that.

28:28 That you think I didn't drown and I I wish that you realize that I actually did die that day and end up when when I washed up for miles Downstream.

28:42 And and I rose up in I don't know if you remember that. I was it was a Transfiguration really I was wearing those flowing Robes of red and white and as I rose up I no longer.

28:59 I was afraid because of the way I I stood on the water maybe we should revisit the questions and what is wrong with you. So it might be that I'm not so much an ass-whole is that I'm batshit crazy and guano right now.

29:20 Building up and don't push on it what it may be confused. I do like guacamole and if you leave it on the counter overnight, it actually turns daguanno. It would look that way. Yeah taste that way too and it's equally as in famous for its though. Oh, you really should yeah, you can it's good for petunias some places that it's a delicacy might be a prison prison. It might also be why we have this this break right now because we're in the middle of our covid-19. Guano. Mukwonago pandemic

30:05 I wish know it bugs me. It bugs me. You know, what bugs me my function at bugs made that people are so judgmental of everyone else and I wish

30:18 That I could stop being one of those people who so change my we should all wish that I don't see a solution in the near future.

30:36 So make my next question for you.

30:42 Tell me about knob and tube wiring. Should I be panicking? Well now it's it's getting a little dicey knob and tube wiring is separate wiring that goes through the floorboards a foot apart. So in that way it's really safe because it's not going to Arc there. No, right. They won't get together. The two wires won't get together. The problem is is now the insulation starting to break down because it's so old it's wearing that comes from back in the early days of wiring and so now he's anything like most penises or it needs to be it just needs to be replaced do used to be one of the safest ways to wire but because insulation is not breaking down because of age it's not anymore. So get rid of them having to get rid of an oven to I shouldn't be I shouldn't be frightened. It's I should you should be concerned concerned the time it's time to get rid of it you up if you have in your house, let's go. Let's go ahead and get in gear.

31:42 But it doesn't need it. I don't need to flee my house tonight. Probably not. I can't guarantee that. You don't need to flee your house for many reasons. But because the children in their crates are angry or all kinds of things can happen if I don't offer guarantees on life. I think that's fair. I'm not like the Creator to offer a return policy.

32:08 Glamour life not really. All right, I don't I don't tell.

32:13 I don't.

32:15 I just listened to your marriage should kill. Oh, dear, okay.

32:20 Premiership should kill the greatest one. Okay and bloxham

32:31 Will that be my sister? I just want to know you're okay Tom Holland Tom Holland and Zac Efron. You know when I first wrote You Are

32:43 Your question Zac Efron was actually listed in there. Yeah, I would have had probably a different answer.

32:51 Wow.

32:54 This is this is not easy actually made it to be not how.

33:02 I hate to kill my sister.

33:07 I don't think I could survive being married to my sister though. Maybe I could do.

33:14 Well, let's let's get Zac Efron out of the way because clearly we're going to Shag Zac Efron. Okay, we're going to set aside about a week for that to do. Yeah, this is going to take a while. At least if you are his agent and you are listening, please clear his schedule for a good week because this is going to take him in it. He's he should I get images. Well, he's like something that a gay man created in a lab. Yeah. Yeah.

33:43 So yes, so we're clearly shagging him. You know, I think I would have to I would have to marry you unblock them. I would have to Marianne to know I pose this question to a lot of your friends and acquaintances and they all said he'll he'll kill his sister and do the other two things to the other two if there cute guys at his sister's dead meat. So, what does that say about you me for needling household at?

34:14 That actually makes sense now.

34:17 Wow, what does it say about me? And what does it say about what people think of me enjoying asshole? Okay. Okay. Well, I'm hoping that my sister can put up with the fact that I'm a needling asshole when we're married for the next 50 years. I think she'd rather be killed. Luckily. I'll be in a really good mood for a while because I will have spent a week shagging Zac Efron. We should still me she would take her slow in life. She were married to you.

34:56 If you have anymore questions, let me let me see it if you could even in Lansing your whole life.

35:03 But I've gone other places.

35:08 Capital outside the city I feel is not like The Truman Show where you got to the curtain and couldn't get any further milk resided here. This isn't in your home. But if you if you could move anywhere you wanted to know if you had no ties here money is not an issue. Where where would you go? That's a good question. I would probably move to either Mexico because I think it's beautiful there nugget at home. I would gracias there or maybe somewhere midcountry like Arkansas or Tennessee or somewhere where there's a change of seasons, but it might be near water. Maybe North or, South Carolina.

35:53 Although I want multiple locations so I get away from the Hurricanes when they came so I can go to my other House Retreat Inland change of seasons Nadi. So drastic. From a hundred degrees in the sun with our changing weather and climate. I don't know that you can really pick that place right now has been windy in a call with a couple of years going to start on Wednesday if will become next time we're going to wind this up where are we don't have time for the wind. I do want to thank you for taking the time out today to honestly answer. Well, at least maybe not honestly, but because you don't really know yourself, I doubt it answer these questions.

36:43 What's always been participating? Absolutely, I feel like you you pull them out of the fire element and make something out of them little Phoenix Rising type of thing going on at like one like when I drowned well, we didn't really go underwater that long. That's most of the time you were just standing up wet.

37:13 I have to say things like pick up your glasses, so they don't float away. I can pick up my glasses. Yes, and I was standing up wet, which had nothing to do with the river. That part was a good experience Keith. Thank you for your time today. Thank you for your time today Hank.