Yvette Harris and Valerie Taylor

00:06 My name is Yvette Harris. I am 53 years old. Today is Friday October 23rd 2020. I'm in the wonderful city of New York my conversation today is with my amazing friend Valerie Taylor.

00:26 And then I'm going next. Okay, so I am Valerie Taylor. I am 53 years old. It is Friday, October 23rd. I am in Las Vegas and I am speaking to Yvette Harris my sister friend.

00:49 So, it's Friday. It's an interesting Friday.

00:53 In about less than two weeks. We will be entering a new paradigm with

01:01 Either the same president or the old a new president a very interesting here right now.

01:08 Barry and we've been through some so if you had to if you had to describe 20 20

01:18 Right or before Aura if you had to compare it to one of the years that we've been friends. Do you think that you could pull a year or timeframe that there might have been some similar things or feelings or like what year might have not been as smooth as we would have liked it to be

01:48 That's a good question. So.

01:53 I think you know, political perspective and political work we've done for me. I'm sort of his anxious is 2000 when I was.

02:06 Managing Jacquees campaign in Florida, which was the hanging chad situation and one of the worst storms ever for us. I don't think you were as involved during that time with political stuff because I think that was before but I feel like maybe from a political like on on on the edge campaign perspective for me. That would be it in for you probably would have been a few years earlier. So I just thinking about the political parties affect us though as far as the outcome of the political. Peace.

02:48 I'm trying to think it is, you know, there was 9-11 that's happened in our lifetime and all that followed afterwards and I'm just thinking about you know, especially you was a New Yorker how that affected you and having to think through all the ways you you need is for your friends use for a man need to support another post trauma the fact that you come from a family of Public Service firefighters and police officers and

03:24 Health thinking that you know, when I immediately when you know, I got over shock, you know, you were the first person who was giving me information and feeding me on the ground like check-ins and all that. So I just think like that happens, but that didn't necessarily that post living in the post probably was as tense of times, you know in a very different way, you know the eyes of the state we're everywhere so to speak and I think living in a particular way, I was sort of expecting and I know that you're much more of a free spirit liberal thinker as am I and so just being aware that not everyone would allow us those freedoms. You know, I remember talking to you in a whole foods and I would say things that were probably

04:21 Some people might think it was either at least inappropriate but possibly some you know words against the state so to speak and I remember just sing it louder talking to you, This is what I think you know that we have and I feel very strongly I should be able to say I'm against is going to war may not be the choice at the time. You also come from a military family is Dua in some ways and just thinking about that and then I know you and I definitely have friends.

04:57 You are definitely on the Frontline in Iraq and just thinking about all of that and that we share.

05:07 This time is different. We've been in Afghanistan 20 years as of next year.

05:14 911 trimmers and thinking about like that isn't as much of the Forefront as now we're talkin about domestic issues and

05:26 I bet you know, I think about it like we we live through sometimes we only enough sometimes black President Barack Obama be elected.

05:40 Enjoy doing some work with you in your last few weeks a few weeks of pregnancy with your beautiful daughter.

05:56 That was in Miami. Yes. We met in the late 80s.

06:11 And I was at Savoy Place at the congressman's office working for my internship and but I think I did you work on Jesse Jackson's campaign from where you were so Jesse Jackson van 8880. I know but I was doing stuff at the DNC because I was when I was at a caucus on the hill, right, but I think you were you were you were doing yours, but I find it funny that they both listened very weird leaves similar ways very grateful for that time because I think that it definitely has helped and guided me, you know, just in terms of the work I'm doing now and provided a platform level.

07:09 Oh definitely do so if if if covid-19 wasn't around today.

07:19 Do you feel that the the political landscape would to have you no have you feeling as may be apprehensive as you might feel now, or you know, what would it be the same kind of feeling well because of all the work that I've done in being an advocate or you know communities of color specifically but the black community nationally Miami DC Oakland, you know.

07:54 That moment

07:56 That happened with the loss of brother fluid right like just

08:04 I think helped me feel better that more people kind of woke up and said

08:10 We can't keep just checking the news everyday to figure out the stats on something that we can control. So that was farming and I think mine is Kobe. It wouldn't have been as intense. As I think there was a lot of feelings that one into white people erupted in the street and protest so, you know, it might still be the same group of protesters Across the Nation because there's always been protests Across the Nation but not the same level and Tanner and passion that you see from people who you know, we're going down the street one way and join the protests that you know, because I felt oh, wow, this is really a movement that I'm feeling strongly about it. So I think that acted as in coconut back to that rather specifically I think

09:05 All the other sort of you know intersections between you know, poor access to healthcare for poor for black folks along with, you know, the systems the Educational Systems the justice system or Injustice system, you know how you know black folks are always sort of not to see the margin life completely. That's been a lot of my work. I've been very fortunate to be able to work with seniors to young people on a number of things using art using politics using a number of approaching a number different ways by Rimmel Justice, you know Women's Health Wellness the Arts.

09:56 Economic justice, but I feel like it's almost the same story every year every week. If your faces every day, we get a little step forward United to celebrate some of them, you know that the the winds and you know, that could just be I know like, you know you what could be a cultural event that's been really well-received and gets the appropriate funding and

10:25 Army at the summer. It was kind of a win. I guess that I had so many of my students from my gender studies and African American studies reaching out to ask me questions about book how to get involved how to be supported how to be able to articulate an argument against you know, but the 45th lover and their house, you know, and that was affirming that are able to draw on that but it also was training all that was and I feel very drained.

10:59 And every day is kind of like

11:03 What's the same and what's new?

11:06 And you said dreams, you know, I got that I don't think that we knew how good we had it years ago when we first started out and we first met in college at the state and speech and debate and we we weren't necessarily the most prepared for that competition.

11:33 But I but I think that I forgot what I was going to this point, but I am grateful. I think that we were able to experience that and I think all of those things that we were involved in, you know, both of us with environmental work Arts and Cultural ways to do all of those things. I think gave us a different perspective in terms of how we view things and really made us you no more open and receptive to different points of views and, you know being a little bit more patient than maybe some people

12:13 You know, so I think I reflect on that and I laugh cuz I'm like, you know, we thought we had a card then having to prepare all of these speeches just to be you no be able to go on these competitions and I found it funny cuz my coaches always prepared.

12:37 And she didn't realize until we actually got there that we were exactly the most prepared, you know for the competition, but we had fun, less.

12:46 Well, one of the things I think we also can be grateful to both of us is our parents for a lot. Right but also for travel right?

12:58 Both of our moms especially were able to install a rat in a sand aside from the fact that I was very happy and joyous When I Met You in Fallon's like a soul sister in alignment aside from just EMP loving the beach just liking to travel, you know, trying new things, you know being willing to explore on your own. These are things that I do and did and didn't necessarily have someone who also was like that, you know, I laugh of course that you probably make a thousand more friends and I do because you are just definitely the friend I guess. It's like a dream catcher a friend catcher, but I am grateful that I was hot and and it ended my friendships.

13:58 It was a circle through and you know, I know I'm grateful to you my New York family through you and you up and I hadn't winterized my car. Look at me and say is okay. Do you have all your winter gear and I'm like, of course, you know, I don't I've got my beach chair in the back. I've got my towel unprepared for summer. And of course, you know traditionally every what Thanksgiving Eve there was always some major snowstorm in New York City and you know, we decided we were going to go out leave the night club or whatever location. We were coming from and become outside and it would be tons of snow and we would have nothing to clean the car off with the we always met

14:58 Always and always your dad would just look at me cuz he would just know that it's going to happen is going to happen and then you know live in Miami now, so I don't have to worry about that and I haven't made it to the DC Miami Corridor connection follow, you know, follow after bo4 me navigating this world of everything going on that. I'm really paying a lot more attention as we get older to just

15:49 How I show up for myself in my self care, right? Cuz it's so crucial and your self care and not having to apologize for it, you know, because I think especially as women especially a black women and a mom right and a caregiver, you know to your parents that when we do take little moments in the day your few days. We feel like we need to let me talk College eyes for you. So what do you think it will take for us to get to that point where we concentrate on the self-care? We honor the self-care but we're not having to feel like we have to apologize for it. You know, what will that take? Do you think?

16:39 I think I think part of it is you know, what I do. And I think you do to is you just intentionally block and either don't share what it is or you you know, you do and you you put a lineup for for me. It's yoga and has been yoga and you know, I've been doing it off and on my entire adult life more off and on this year. I really tried to try and make sure that if I committed to a class on whatever day is is going to happen come whatever else and I think

17:16 You do take those moments and I admire that about self-care and being reflective even in your busy stuff and you know work and juggling, you know, you you work a lot. I work a lot we both share the fact that we probably work too much and will work seven days a week, which is probably not the best but I do enjoy that I do find time whether it's to say I'm just going to read or you know before at least I can read at the dog park with Pharaoh. Now, you know a day is like no problem with me. So sexually active stuff at the dog park, but you don't I do Envy the fact you have the beach which I gave up when I left Miami, but I think those things you ride your bike and I walk to the other day. I think I don't realise, but I really believe that I am.

18:16 Was what that and I saw that in my mother cuz I don't remember my mother would always say that she go I just need I'm just going to take a better. I you know, she might just, you know, getting her comfortable never her chair that she had like, why are you laying down in the bed or you know, why don't you go to sleep? Why you going to sleep for 20 minutes? And she said all I really need is like 10 to 15 minutes just to reset I just take the time to reset.

19:04 And I after the 15 minutes. I feel like I can get through the rest of the day and just you know, so as I got older I realized how that sometimes just that 15 minutes a day. If you do 15 minutes a day, sometimes you might increase its let you know but just being honoring that that 15 minutes in the day just for yourself. You may just be going outside and just saying, oh my gosh, it's so beautiful out, you know, so I think we're definitely important to show my daughter that you know, the show Naya that so that she grows up as I did knowing that it's really important for you to take some time for yourself.

19:41 And at you know, I think you definitely and you you definitely are the friend that shares that ironically my mother from a very young age set a boundary. She was taking an afternoon nap. There was there was you are not going to burn down the house and you called 911 right and do not disturb and I you know, I used to always joke actually it allowed me to be able to say purse while I love naps. Right? Like I'm embracing them all the time and has a nocturnal person. I'd sometimes need that bridge, but I do think I need to do a little more of that the moments out. I think my moments out tend to be about laughter. So like I have, you know Comedy stations on my radio when I'm just like

20:40 Okay, my music not going to do it. Right. I just need to be able to laugh or you know a podcast one of the ways I enjoy walking is actually listening to Comics so their specials so I'm laughing as I'm walking which is hopefully is good on a multitude of levels, but it also allows me not to pay attention to the time and the distance but it's still doing the fun stuff. So I need to just take us for a few more minutes of that. But then I'm like, well, I need a little corner and a pillow and curl up for a minute. I'll pet my dog.

21:26 So we can talk about dogs and how their minds personality different.

21:33 Personality which yes, yes, and I wouldn't mind being a day the friend. Maybe we should switch. Cuz a day is a friend to everyone and Brooklyn is more like hey, I'm sure she'll let me know.

21:59 So, you know, I think about that. I also think about the fact that you know, both of us are committed to Wellness very much. So and I I think that's another way we connect our

22:15 Are Foci are different, right? You know, I've been a Buddhist for you know, how many years now. So I really try and embrace that practice not as much as good but hopefully you know, and you know and just really trying to be thoughtful about exploring different ways to be well, right definitely not just Western medicine cuz it Western medicine. We could have a whole conversation about you and I feel that way too kind of include others that you know can can also or are working on being open and you know, maybe having a different thought process or

23:15 That's kind of what life is all about, you know?

23:20 That's like exactly why we laugh a lot and it's out like that. Yeah, I think that is the key to keeping you younger keeping, you know, like laughter and I and I think about I think about one day maybe counting the amount of time that I'm really just cracking up, you know, and if you do and I haven't quite

24:08 I think about you know, just about cracking up with just times that I've been fortunate to just you know, you get some and you crack up about something it really is not that the best moment is when someone else is laughing through and you both my father and I got called out for laughing in church.

24:31 Yes, that was quite and then made us laugh even more and it got to the point where I would tell her I was like, you know what I asked you I can't do that. None of my cousins would want to sit next to her because she would just say some stuff and you found yourself laughing. So like the people in back of me to see my my show cuz I couldn't contain my laughter. I was like, I remember we went to my my one of my father is one of his uncles was a Mason and I guess they have a special ceremony where they let you know, they call the person's name and they're calling his name and calling, you know, they didn't have to call in about 10 times and we're out of here. It was just the way she said.

25:24 You're at your aunt was. And you know, she could use the words with that. So his River next to you definitely has been has been a great thing. And you know, I'm getting been something that we've been able to share and food food is very important. I you know, I am very fortunate to have experienced a lot of different foods, especially before I became a vegetarian 20-plus years ago and then I began my 12 13 years then but I think the fact that I also put food as a cultural experience kind of a tribal is something that I know that you do and I find that it is a way to also make traveling, you know interesting but it also is a way for me to learn about places.

26:24 And you know, I think that food is something that is really important awesome and you know building connections and relationships with people and yeah, you and I are a beautiful Journey there. Yeah, definitely been trying so many different foods in open if I look at most 11 12 year olds that you know, they have it, you know, you're really has her favorites in her spices in her taste and can tell what type of food and what they might have been added in it, you know, so grateful for that, you know, cuz it's pretty easy when we travel to just be able to go anywhere not have to look at the menu and you know be concerned that she's not going to find something that she's going to enjoy

27:24 NE and usually it's not on the kids menu.

27:28 I want to see what the adulterating you know, so has been a good challenge ballot. Challenge. I don't know how I feel about a challenges writing. And so that's something that you know, I struggle with and luckily. I finally got my chapter out helping so I feel good to be in an anthology of black women, but I also know that you know, you've also been a good editor and you've also been a good friend as far as you know bouncing ideas off of and I think that's that's also something that you know, we share in a very unique way having done all you know, the media stuff and Community stuff and

28:16 Coaching of various clients in people in my own Consulting public relations Consulting in in obviously drawing from your experience and also being very grateful to you understanding the inner workings of the institutions that I worked in right like, you know, you haven't worked for a federal agency is being able to understand the press for City of Miami and understand. You know, when I worked at the like the National Council of negro women with Dorothy Height and understanding just that sort of dynamic in relationship.

29:05 You know, you don't really know as you said you don't really know how the federal government really operates unless you've worked for them and you get to see you know, just how

29:13 Complicated sometimes it could be you know, just because there's so many processes that if you know that place in everything everybody has to sign off on something and you know, if you can work for any government organization entity. You can go out into the world and work for anybody, you know, because we're good, I think working for a government agency gives you insight and patience and relationship-building and you know,

29:52 Now working in a now we're hanging faculty having worked on the administrative side and at a college it's it is definitely a similar very similar Drew upon your nonprofit work as well. And it's funny just because you all have

30:22 You and you know our other little Posse have definitely been there and I appreciate that right? I appreciate you all being good with my UPS in Milo's and appreciate.

30:41 All the times that I've been able to

30:46 Not grow like cuz sometimes it's you. I mean like acting like there's all these Ford moving people and I still feel that way and I'm still kind of like maybe I'm in a valley right now and I need to take a minute and let you know what I think it comes back to that self care.

31:05 I'm actually at yeah, I feel like that's something you should be at this age doing XYZ. Like, you know what I mean, like who wrote that book and where's that? You know when I said, I think that sometimes and Society we get caught up you have to do this. You have to be this. Oh, by the way, you're going to be 50 Imma Be 39, + you know or think of how amazing and Brilliant and the things that you've done I think sometimes you just

31:48 You don't see it, you know if we have to give you an a different set of lenses to see how amazing I think sometimes when you feel like you might not be where you want to be or doing something that day or did something but didn't do something. I think we look at it on such a completely different level. You know what I mean? Like I said, I think that we are doing and you guys might you did this or you didn't critics.

32:26 I think I think we are the hardest critics. I try to not be all the time. At least I think it is important. Sometimes to be yours on Socratic. I also think that any of this is another thing we do share it for me reading is always been like like like right, you know, I'm the parade that year for the Thanksgiving is all you want to do is

33:01 Yes, yes well in cold and I want to thank you for the history books for the Thanksgiving Parade or at least that's what I that's the story I tell you for helping me pack and carry my books. But yeah, I think the last time was when I left Miami, I think you can help me. I feel like it's funny because your books and I'm like, but I think I'm definitely become my father like I just

33:51 So if I read the book and I read it over the books that I want to read over and over I will save you know, but knowing that I'm probably won't read it over and over and over and over. I want to just give it to somebody that I know it's going to read it to you know, I exist. So I did was so completely different like that. It's it's that night that I'm over a thousand because I have you know, I'm for telling me you have digital books. It tells you the number and then at bookstores I have books with me. I just knew I do try I do try and give some away, but I know I just

34:35 You know, I do things that I like the fact that we celebrate those things, you know, because those are the things that are the little things that you can say about somebody and it brings a smile to your face and you do what you do. That's your salary. You know, what makes me happy.

35:01 Yeah, oh my gosh. No, you didn't you brought it up. Okay. Thanks to you by the way. Thank you.

35:17 It was you it was well, maybe not where we go now but it really was you in DC and theism and the picture it was sandals.

35:36 Accident on Lincoln Avenue, right at 7th South South South East 7th. Was it that was well, maybe you introduced me to that place.

35:54 And maybe that's when we both were like, oh this is get it and later. It's been

36:01 It's been bad as I always feel bad when I have a cup of coffee and everybody's going to come out and go.

36:16 Well, you know the Tia side I do think that there have been times that I've been fortunate to meet and be around amazing people of note, you know, an amazing people who have maybe not been recorded in history, but definitely have done some amazing things in my life. And I feel like I've been blessed to be around a number people who who stories I've learned stories. I've helped to prep for word stories that I hope I was able to effect in good ways, whether it's through the advocacy work that I did or now the thousands of students that I've taught or you know, you know the speeches that I've given in or the meeting of different individual people in the community. I just hope my legacy, you know is a good Legacy. I hope that I'm able to continue like our sister friendship.

37:16 In ways that helps to feed that Legacy and you know, I really do hope that you know, I see you reflected in your daughter and I see just the most amazing amazing child from an amazing mother and I feel lucky to be a part of that because I feel like it it helps me also feel like in a tenant. Anyway, I'll leave a little Legacy one person as opposed to just my my puppy who may or may not outlive me, you know, so I know things that I am really hoping to be able to continue to cherish and that other people remember me by you know, this

38:14 And a great a great a great thought into how you want to be remembered in your legacy and you know and how you want people to two Dimension you in your space, you know, and it's funny cuz I think that we I think we thought about those things. We probably didn't actively talk about it, but I do believe that we saw things when we were younger.

38:40 And I'm kind of shaped also. So maybe just in the back of our minds that kind of shaped the direction and in some of the you know, that the journey that we took, you know, despite some of the mistakes that we might have made or Miss steps do whatever you want to call it and I would not have been the person that I am today had I not gone through some of those seen a little tripping over my my foot, you know, as I was coming out to step out the house is like that or you know, Justin some decisions that I'm that I made that wasn't then very happy about or but now

39:27 I think we're two amazing people.

39:30 I think so and I appreciate you taking the time to have this conversation with me. That's probably one of the higher points, you know, definitely in 2020. I mean, I'm right like it better than the lights friends.

39:49 Cursive we were on a beach somewhere. That would have been just like absolutely.

40:00 I think we need to revisit. It is also good that we are being able to be reflective and I hope that I continue to be reflective cuz I didn't I hope that I continue to grow and to be introspective about who I am because I think that's also part of being a good person and leaving and saying I'm sorry and I made a mistake unlike some people have ability.

40:36 So now I know why I'm saying Allah hoo some people.

40:42 So do we use our time up?

40:46 Are you are you back on speaker or no?