Aiesha Turman and Susan Lee

Recorded June 12, 2010 Archived June 12, 2010 41:16 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: LMN002083


Aiesha, 35, tells Susan, 31, about her fond, vivid memories of each of her grandparents, each of which played significant roles in Aiesha’s life and were a great influence.

Subject Log / Time Code

Remembering walking across the stage with mom during as a child during her college graduation
Grandfather quiet but hilarious - gentle, loving, caring & a doer. Learned a lot of practical lessons in life from him, like making coffee, eggs, driving
grandmother getting her high school diploma so she could help her daughter with her math homework
Own daughter reminds Aiesha of grandmother - grandparents live on


  • Aiesha Turman
  • Susan Lee

Recording Locations

StoryCorps Lower Manhattan Booth


Partnership Type




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00:00 My name is Susan Lee. I'm 31 years old today's date is June 12th, 2010 at Foley Square in lower Manhattan, and I'm here to interview Aisha Aisha Turman. I'm 35. Today's date is June 12th, 2010 hour and Foley Square Lower Manhattan, and I'm here to be interviewed by storycorps. So I guess I wanted to just start out and just asked asked you to tell me about yourself like and we talked a little bit about how you said that you moved to New York and that you you're from or your your mom's in Rochester. Can you tell me a little bit about where you were born and raised I was originally born in Albany New York. I live there till I was 6 years old my mom and dad my grandparents.

01:00 Then my mom and I when I was right after first grade like the week 4 trade ended we moved to Rochester from Albany, which was a huge change because I had no family. No nothing was mad at my mom. And I and in Albany. I had everybody aunts cousins and being an only child. It was a huge adjustment. So I lived there till I sex moves to Rochester in second grade there and it was there all through high school. Okay, tell me about what it was. Like, what was your early childhood? Like, do you have any like favorite memories my favorite memory from earlier. I have a few one of them would be walking across stage of with my mom when she graduated college. That was one of the early things. I remember and I was three my parents had me really young and I remember living on campus living on campus housing.

02:00 Muhammad ended SUNY Oneonta, I remember sitting in the back of her classes coloring while she was in class. I remember going to the cafeteria with her there actually pictures of me in her yearbook the year. She graduated like I'm sitting under a tree smiling. You send me on a bench light and I remember she was in a play her senior year and my mom was a very petite in Chandler has fat suit, and I remember standing up in Auditorium.

02:34 And I would like your mom went back to school for or went to school or acting or English English and early childhood education. That's what my mom went to school for district. All like alright, I have bits and pieces of memory from that time.

02:56 And you know, I just I really remember her getting her her degree. That was a big day for everyone and then being in the audience when that happened. My other memories really circle around my maternal grandparents cuz they were really old born was I-70. So we were tired and my grandmother was like 67 retired. So I was pretty lucky to have these grandparents who were born in they were born in 1905 and 1909. So I was really yes. I was very lucky to have them around. So I got to do all kinds of amazing craziness because I'm this girl and my grandfather was one of the first African American Construction Foreman in New York state, so he built in you know, the Nelson age

03:56 Governor Nelson a Rockefeller Center, that's in Albany on that house is like all the State offices in the New York State Museum. He was at that was his last job that was his last construction job. So, you know, I could tell you where can I go visit I get to see him, you know every time I'm there, so he let me hammer away and Destroy and build things in the basement all the time and put my things in the Vise grip to see what would happen. If I am because you know, he and my grandmother will retired. I just went all over the place with him. Like he was a big fan of the horse races. So I we went to Saratoga Springs and I'm really proud of him. I was skipped a grade later on in life and I will skip like crazy crazy because of math and I really credit him for teaching me a how to count when I was really little but taking me to the the track taught me fractions and ratios, so I was able to pick that up really soon. So I was able to advance in math really quickly like it's something to be said for taking you a freak.

04:56 What's the racetrack in my grandmother she volunteered a lot. I mean, she had a lot of free time, you know all of her children and adults. So she used to take me to buy the senior center with her. Even if she would claim. She's not a senior when she would cook every Wednesday and cook meals for seniors and I was like Checkers old people cheat in checkers fond memories. Like I would read like a large print Readers Digest to the and just hang out with senior citizens every Wednesday afternoon with my childhood. It sounds like a great childhood. It was great. It was it was so much fun. Just you know why we would go down. I guess what they look like or what were their personality my grandfather was very quiet, but he was hilarious. He wasn't a talker. He was a door he know.

05:58 Was about 5 foot 6. I remember the day I was like 11 years old when I was taller than him and he's like a pot of that happen and he was just very gentle very loving very caring and very

06:17 Teddy bears for Kimberly with a grandpa, but he was very, you know, he wasn't like, you know, I'm going to sit on the back porch and do nothing Grandpa, you know, he and I like you taught me how to drive a 13 should have been driving at all should not have been driving us Pontiac. He taught me a lot of practical things like how to fry an egg how to braid hair how to make coffee like these are things are going to need to know in life. So here's some skills for you. My mom was really sick when I was born. She had toxemia and so little that she cannot leave the hospital and she was I just turned 20 right before I was born but she was really sick. So my grade was my grandparents who brought me home. So and I just and I do recall, you know every day he would read me the comic section of the newspaper and the financial section from day one, you know, that was our thing every single day.

07:17 And it was it was wonderful. That is why the book when she passed away when he was 90 and it and it took me kind of a really hard because he was always old so he'd never aged so I didn't get to see your progression and him so he you know, it's like my grandmother passed when I was 17. He passed right before I turn 20. So it was just you know, he got sick. Even as you know, as a teenager I talk to him every Sunday on the phone. She helped me escape to New York as as a nineteen-year-old. He helped me something cuz my mama I graduate from high school really really well. I was 16 and my mom says you can't go to a college more than 85 mile radius of so that limited me aloud. And so my grandfather at I was in school is like I hate it here and be here my grandfather really aided and abetted me escaping to New York. So I would I would go visit him what I

08:17 Do I take the Greyhound from Rochester to Albany and long enough to go to his house to call my mother from his house. Get back on the bus come to New York by myself. You give me some chain. I have secret be per lb for my goodness. I would come down here and I'm like, okay, I'm going to I'm going to find something to do with myself. I'm going to find an apartment. I'm going to do whatever I'm not going back to that school. It was hilarious. I did this and kind of doll I did that and I would call him he would say I sent her to the grocery store or she's going to pick up my cleaning all and then he would be with me.

09:04 Yeah, I'm just running errands. You know, I'm doing this and doing that all I'm cleaning the basement all kinds of nonsense. I would say smile just so I could escape and out of Western, New York New York just it just held him. Nothing nothing for me. Nothing at all. I was just miserable there as young person in my late teens colleges cuz it was just like grey, you know, I'm and I have friends who are down here in college and they would Harbor me for like weekend and then it came to my mind was going to transfer him apply to school in New York City that's going to be my way out and that's what I want to doing and my mom was so upset. She's like, how could you do this to me? And my grandma if she wants to do with herself. I understand. She's the only child. I understand you need to let her do what she wants to do and the end if it weren't for him, I would not be in New York, and I literally I came here by

10:04 I felt when I was 19 years old knowing like three people and father was like a huge influence on her life. Pretty what is remarkable to me is that he kind of really wanted you to be empowered and wanted wanted you to learn how to do things how to make things and you know, and you know, I don't know like generationally that's not, not at all he would let my mom do anything I say, so can I help you build? It seems like your girl. Yeah, you can't do that. How do you think he was like that? But you know, it's not it's a whole nother time. You know, it's like, you know, my mom's like I remember is asking all kinds that would let me help him do and he said no, it's boys out here. I come along. He's like Okay, so

11:04 I want to build a porch stairs. Do you want to help I'm like, yes, and it's because of him I can fix anything. I can I have my own I have a blood so I don't I mean I have all kinds of I can fix anything. You know, I have clams. I have saw horses. I can build things because of him and you know, and I can read plans I can just go to the Home Depot is Lenny and I can you know, can you can you describe a little bit what his like a basement like workshop look like or what when you work together what it was like it would be considered if it were in New York and be considered a brownstone. So so there was a ground floor, but they also had a basement below that ground floor, whatever he worked it out to the backyard where he had grapevines and other fruit and things wrong and we go in the basement. The basement was had these rickety stairs it was

12:02 If you want you to go in the basement will probably freak you out. It was a chain light and you'd walk down into the basement with a small base in the cellar. And that's what he called it the cellar and she had Hub Cap hubcap collection. I don't know why I never actually has he had this Hub Cap collection all around the basement and he just had tools and he had once you table and he had a vice grip on that that was on one end and he had several kinds of hammers. I remember and Annie had a saw and of course like in the corner was like a lawn mower and he refused so that you can use an electric lawn mower can use The Pusher lawn mower, which I Loved You Then when I was a kid could you can just see if cutting of the blaze cutting the grass and he just had no projects in the basement. So when you know, my grandmother needed more cabinet space heater built-in cabinets when the stairs needs to be repaired, he'd go get some wood and build some stairs like that was

13:02 What he did, but he didn't intend that was the only time you ever see him in dungarees as he would call him denim. He never wore denim outside of when he was building something ever. He was always in pants and a shirt you had you know yet is summer. Look at his winter. Look to summer. Look he had his like no Panama Hat and a short-sleeve shirts with his press pants brown shoes in summer though in Winter. He had his long sleeve shirts at and also his undershirt in the summer with short sleeve were workout tank tops undershirts the old t-shirts and about those were his winter like, you know, he always were and when it when it rained he had the rubbers to put over his shoes here and I never saw a man boobs ever he had it was just it was just a really interesting he act like, you know, a dress-coat he had his casual coat he had his dress had he had his casual hat in the summer. He and I would

14:02 Cuz you know, I'll be right there on the Hudson River. You know, there was a fold up chairs that you can just fold up and throw in the trunk. We throw those in the trunk we go when we sit at the water and we would just called and I love what and I love swimming and my mom and doesn't swim at all up to you so I can see all friends around when she was really little so that was it for her, but she made sure that I could swim so I love swimming. My grandfather is originally from right outside of Charleston in South Carolina, so he's used to water and so he wanted me to have that lever border also, but we were just too if they're talk and watch the boats go up and down the river a member one time because once I moved to Rochester, I would go back remember my first Christmas screaming like Santa Claus does not know where I am.

14:48 And we don't have a chimney and fireplace nana and papa if they have a chimney and a fireplace. I was screaming I was like, okay, we'll go to all before Christmas. So I'm literally by the time I was seven I was taking the Greyhound by myself from Rochester to Albany. I would go every school break and I will go I want every summer up until the summer. I was ten that's my tires go on science nerd camp in the Summers. So I would only go for a little bit of the summer for a ride with sit behind the bus driver and I would go all the way we would sometimes we would switch buses in Syracuse and I would make sure I had all of my stuff switch buses and my grandfather or my dad will be there to pick me up in Albany on the other end. I was at Mike's I don't think kids do that and I don't know but I was literally 7 years old going a hundred and fifty miles or whatever. It is to Albany to see my grandparents and my dad and spend that that holiday time with him by myself and

15:48 I mean you do absolutely nothing. But you know, he he my grandfather could so and my grandmother could crochet so I would still with him and crochet with her just

16:01 And just talk, you know, I'm I realize how lucky I am to have had cuz you know, my grandfather didn't have electricity when he was a child, you know, if he's told me all kinds of Amazing Stories and so is my grandmother, you know about growing up in and you know that grandmother are you she wanted to be like an entreprenuer she had a catering company. She is a hairdresser. She did the hair of all of The prominent African American ministers wives in Albany. And so, you know, she would travel and do her hair thing and you know that you said throw parties on riverboats and after they passed away my mom's like you you don't know about your nana and papa. Let me tell you and you know, they would throw a party in how I just you know, just to see how well-rounded and flushed out there last week. Cuz a lot of people, you know, grandparents who does old people you know, what they had my grandpa. They were each other's second marriages.

17:01 You know my grandmother, I literally left her gambling first husband picked up and moved across the river and she was from Jacksonville Florida. And so, you know, she left her first husband and married my grandfather. I think it was like a 1939 and they marry that you're too or are they married and they came up north together. They came to Albany together. They were both and you know, and he was between he has family in Jacksonville and in South Carolina, so he would be back and forth in between and I have the wedding. I have your wedding picture at home. You know, I had to sneak a copy from my mom. Like I need this picture. She's like, okay, so, you know,

17:47 They just you know, it's a complete lies before each other and had no relationship before each other might go visit. I'm in heaven with your grandmother like like things for a mother was always feeding everybody. One of my first memories of her is she was making like potato salad for a church picnic and was a huge vat of potato salad, and she and I was really little and she sent me on the table let you know I was in the back of potato salad. That's one of my first memories my grandmother awesome. She was so she was the most nurturing just hard-nosed at the same time. My grandfather was more free and

18:47 Play in my grandmother was really a lot more strict than my my grandfather. But she was all a feeding everybody and I remember in kindergarten the school bus will drop me off at my grandparents house after school and my snack and this is going to be disgusting and I think of it now and I would never let my now six-year-old anything like this Cool Whip and bologna sandwiches with iceberg lettuce on white bread and it could not tell me that I don't know how we came up with that. But that was my face. It's so disgusting. You know, she she loved me, you know, my name is really really love me in any for me like

19:36 Do you know to be a woman is to be her you know, because she was you know, she would get up in the morning and so funny. She wear the same hairstyle forever. My grandmother was my grandmother's part native American and so there she had very thick curly hair and very and was very shiny and it was so shiny black and tan area was I did not know later that she used to take that up that Kohl pencil that was in the red color pencil to cover the grades that are simple remind me about so later. I used to go to the Woolworth for her my grandma so it to get her my grandfather and I will go to the war to get hair pins face powder the Kohl pencil.

20:29 And that would be for her and then she give me like two bucks to buy something for myself and then we would always eat. It's interesting. We would always like have a snack at the counter because he would tell you what's in this is in Albany. This is in the seventies in the eighties, but she would you know, he would tell me about you not being able to eat what he wanted to eat when he was a teenager, you know, and it's interesting because I'm him. I think I got a real sense of not this American history of African American history because he lived it my grandmother not so much. She wouldn't talk about things like that. She talked about, you know, she went to the to the Fannie Farmer School for Girls when she was a little girl and you know it how she went up to 8th grade in and you know, I got some of the comparison of my phone my mother about how when my mom was in high school she decide my grandmother, you know, it's interesting to think that her eighth-grade education was

21:28 How much more rigorous education been suffering with high school education now in the 21st century and because my grandmother can do everything, you know to me she was she could do everything but when my mom was in high school mom grandmother over the middle school, I believe the school she decides that she was going to get her high school diploma so she could help my mother with her math homework. That was the reason for her getting her high school diploma. So literally should go to school twice a week when my mom was in Middle School and she went and got her high school diploma and I didn't know the story about her at all. My mom told me at a later time and you know for her, you know, she was to me my grandmother was a chance to chat a really big nose and really big ears and I love her really big nose and really bigger than I think it's on my grandfather for some reason. I think that's why I like people with really big noses and it is because I remind me of my grandparents and she was very

22:26 I loved like it's looking like a girly you know what I mean? She aboard the same color off red lipstick for same color. No matter what the occasion same color nail polish no matter what the occasion same brand and every night. She would have rolled her hair with nine rollers. It would be three in the back to on the side front into the middle the same spot save money rollers for years. She her hair was about shoulder length in or just just so I was just so shiny. That was something she always smelled good. She let you know cuz you know what she smelled so good all the time and I don't know if it was, you know, you know the perfume she wore she didn't really like we're a lot of perfume.

23:26 But she just had the cheat she smelled like he's wanted to be under her all the time. That was pretty much that's what I wanted to do was beyond or either her or my grandfather all the time. So, you know, they were just the perfect little combination they were about the same height and what you looked a bit taller than him. They were physically the same that they were built cuz she was a very strong body type a very strong body type of a word I can make a sturdy that's the only thing that comes to my mind when I think of my grandparents and it's interesting because you know, they both had they both live with depression. So my grandmother she was on those people that like, okay, if you don't clear your plate, that's okay. You know, she put it in there by like a high any of the pipe in she would save the pie tins and you would put your food in the pie tin as we could have liked it as a snack later on you can put it in the oven later on cuz it's before microwaves and all the kids and that's what they would do that. You would use the pie.

24:26 Tends to to heat up whatever was left over but she always they had tons of toilet paper and it's because she lived with time when she had to go without so she had they never ever ran out of toilet paper my grandparents house of themselves and my uncles were gone my mom so they had this house of themselves and it was to meet the house was magic cuz there were you know, they have fireplaces and they were working fireplaces and there was an addict that had all of us that like some of my mom's childhood and games and clothes in the furniture and you know, they had furniture that they had had made, you know, that from the early Twenties that they had and it was just, you know, I can see their house. I'm talking to you I can I can see the big they had their front window for their parlor floor with a big half circle and I just knew any time I can my mom and I were driving Albany.

25:26 If my dad was picking me up from the train station open the bus station that my grandfather's head would be picking out of the curtains of that big big half circle window and I wouldn't even see me coming out like he and I were really really really close even after he want of having a stroke and couldn't talk which we talked constantly in my kids. My sense of humor is my mom sense of humor, which is his sense of humor and you know, he couldn't talk anymore and it was just it was so difficult, but I would call after his stroke. I would call it. I Was Here by that time, you know, he had done his job and I was here and I will call every Sunday and we would talk and we would have jokes and laughs and laughs and that's cuz I understood him. It is like my grandmother wind up having a stroke also and it's interesting because people like what I don't know what you saying. I don't understand how I'm like what we have conversations. I don't know why you can't understand her. It's like she would she and I can understand each other or you know, and so

26:26 And I just knew it was like Martin Luther King long weekend, you know, and I'm like, you know, let me take the bus to Albany to something just go visit my grandfather and I'm so glad I did because too much later he passed away which was like, you know, the hardest thing I think you know, I would go through childbirth five more time than I ever have to experience that again, you know, and that's one of my biggest. I mean, I wish I could buy my little one could have known them even if briefly because they would have just loved, you know, just to be with her because they were just too in their own ways. Very caring very loving and it's interesting that to to juxtapose issue cuz my grandmother was very fair skin and I saw a picture of her when she was 20 or hair was different angles.

27:18 This woman and this picture she said well, that's me. I was like you who we were friends forever and I'm like, oh my goodness man. And that's you. I'm like, I would have never guessed. She looks like you know, when you see those pictures of just just when you're like at the Smithsonian and in you're looking at the pictures from that era from Reno the twenties and it's I just couldn't put the two together a lot in like that's you and make you a person or people to such a beautiful picture that I add minutes to grab. My mom has that picture now, but it's just you know those with as a couple was very dark skin, very dark skin, but not like these blue gray eyes and have red hair and it's so interesting because I find my grandfather had been involved in apparently since like the thirties and so

28:18 I always knew him was like nothing in the crown nothing in the crown and I just remember 10 years old going all the way for a visit and all of a sudden he had something on his head. How do you become vain at 80 said you know, what is that thing on your head? Cuz it was just so odd and there's a part wavy and I was I was looking and you know, it was just so funny and little that was it like after that he didn't wear anymore, but I was just it was just that just came to me all of a sudden it's all the sudden my grandfather having not had here. Did you call him out on it? What is that thing on your head as a pop-up? What is that thing on your head? He's like, oh my hair and I was just in tears laughing laughing just couldn't stop so it sounds like you just you just laughed a lot with your grandparents both love them both.

29:18 Wonderful people who is Indira hilarious, you know and they were they were still grandparents. You know, they slide you the change, you know on the side and they let you get away with things that your parents would never let you even and you touched upon this but I feel like an is the hard question. What do you feel like you are the most important lessons you've learned from them or love yourself and put yourself first and go for whatever it is. You want to go for and to love other people they were they both very loving people enter, you know when to see someone love someone else is just so inspiring and I know how much they love me. Are you going to have me I know how much they love me as a as a person not this as you know their grandchild and you know, and I still talk to this guy still talk of them interesting enough. I talked him like a papa how you're doing and you know, cuz I feel them around me.

30:18 Interesting because all I can find is job one and one of my co-workers she was a very interesting person and very lovely woman and she said sure okay. Alright, let me smell your breath is a beautiful woman with braids on the side of you and then there's there's this man. They didn't they look kind of similar but he's very dark skinned and he's on this side of you am I going to win my grandparents and it freaked me out at all since I had never talk to her about my grandparents never talk to her about office chatter, you know, but you know, so I know that there with me and my daughter has been born before she can really even speak and you know, I called my grandmother and my grandfather Papa and before she can even speak, you know, she's just laying in her little pillow on the couch is Googling and looking up and making all those crazy.

31:18 Baby sounds and I know I said since I lay, oh, yeah, so who are you talkin to and she looked at me and said, well you go ahead and tell her I said no just randomly came out of her mouth. So and the thing is my daughter reminds me so much of my grandmother her mannerisms her she's sick, but she's 85 on inside. She's such an old lady. She's the little girl. That's like hey, how you doing? How's your coloring coming? Okay, she's all about giving hugs and letting people know they did a good job and giving random high fives to other old people on the street. So I see so much of her and her mannerisms and how she give love you have such a small ladies. I see so much of my grandmother in her. So, you know, it's you know, they always live on in so many ways. I I definitely know that my enjoyment of

32:18 Life in general comes from them because you know, they just enjoy life and my grandfather he would just go and sit and watch and I like to go and sit and why I know that's where it comes from and I like to talk to people in and meet new people and just have random conversations if that happens to me quite frequently on public transportation and I just go with it and that was the kind of person he was he did, you know, he'd sit there and in the heat watching, you know, it would I get that from him and then the cooking thing I definitely get for my grandmother cuz I'll I'll cook for you. I'll feed you and I'll make sure you are not hungry, you know, so the ways in the ways in which they gave love I die. Do I am pretty much the same, you know amazing that really is.

33:06 Some of the greatest most beautiful stories about your grandparents.

33:18 Well, they are here because you always know what would I say to them? Thank you. I just thank you for being over. Thank you. I know it's just thank you for being my grandparents, you know just for being there for me in and letting me in respecting me as a person and trusting me. My daughter has my grandmother's first name as her middle name and it's interesting because my grandmother's name is Rebecca Joshua at my grandmother's but her name was originally spelled r e b e k a h as in the Bible and she went to school. Her name was changed to Rebecca for whatever reason it's still not clear to me why her name was changed? So when I had my daughter her middle name is spelled Rebekah. I'm not as her her middle name and then she tells me my my my name is Rebecca middle name.

34:18 So yeah, it's just that I would tell them thank you, and I love you and you know, and I thought I told him that you know, I thank them a lot, you know, because they've they've given me a sense of just a sense of human hood that I don't think I would have ever had it since I mean they've said they were kind enough to just share their life and their life stories and my grant my grandfather always something in a funny story. So even if it was in at the end someone got lynched what the store itself it's like, that's the kicker.

34:52 Can you until like this hilarious story that said you would have to have a sense of humor his mom died in childbirth. So you the Lash tile done in this is the whole you know, so he was actually blamed by family members for killing his mother.

35:16 There was a whole bunch of and he was a really sickly child. So he was happy to have been.

35:25 Around you know, I can make it so, you know to grow be no be born in South Carolina in 1905 to get to live to the internet. And and in that mean, you know, he was around, you know before cars. His first car was a Model T. And what they use models have I didn't I didn't even get to ask you about your father or your mom, we talked about your mom a little bit but do you want to talk a little bit about them and and my parents like my mom was like 15 and my dad was like 17 and to tell me the story about how she you know, she my dad is six foot eight. That's one thing. My mother is 5 foot 4, that's hilarious. And so when she met him he was who to use the pitch softball and he would be practicing in this empty lot and she told me that she would walk by with like these really tight. So it was really freaked me out of still freaks me out.

36:25 Come on, come on. And so then they got together and pictures and all of that hilarity and then my mom goes off to school and apparently, you know, I was created with some Barry White in a gallon of wine and some blue daisies is it? Yeah because we were watching VH1 Behind the Music and Alta bands, like if it wasn't for that song that's my life down the box, and probably helps you Mom and said they didn't remember ever even really living with my dad. I'm going to keep dropping me in the shower one time. But yeah, I'm dropping off Sophie and I was little he dropped me and like if you know that if they find any congenital issues later, it's all your fault.

37:25 But you mentioned that he picked you up from the bus station until she has like five years 4 months 3 hours to retire countdown. Yes and still get my dad still lives in Albany. So yeah, he would pick me up from the terminal in my escape to because you know, he just showed up with the with my dad. My grandfather's big Pontiac to come get me and my mom's like what you doing you like. She's the one you want to go to school. She's like how did that happen? So so it's just my dad and my dad and I are really close. I am the only child that was just on the phone with him before I came to interview with you in mind and my little one she's an only child so, you know, I'm like, yeah keep that cycle alive and your child was and what time is fine with me and my Mom they're both discs.

38:25 Still friends and you know, they talk about me constantly apparently from what I understand and you know and their parents their their their parents their their parents. I know we have like one minute left. But what is it like to be a parent and I guess what are your hopes or what do you envision? My daughter is our best ever ever ever ever that ever happened to me. She is. She just turned 6, she just taught me patience cuz I had none she taught me so many wonderful things and just enjoy life more and to slow down. I've slowed down a lot because of her. I don't need to rush and do everything now and it's interesting thing my parents as Grandparents cuz they are absolutely nuts out of their mind and both of them but they both say well, this is nothing that your grandparents didn't do.

39:25 You were little I'm like your pretty much through yet. So, you know, they lavished her with everything and you know, they love her tremendously and it's you know.

39:37 It's it's it's wonderful to see them in another instant to see them as Grandparents, you know, and to be a parent is just you know, it was interesting. I was not scared of childbirth or any of that stuff. I just cried right before like I was in my 9th month plan. What am I going to do when she comes out when I haven't had no siblings. I've never changed a diaper. Maybe one of my little cousins a couple of times. I've never done all that stuff, but once you with you, okay, you and I are you know hanging out, you know, it took her dad 20 minutes to change your diaper for the first time. We was hilarious. I'm like, okay, you'll you'll get it. So it's just, you know, being being a mom to a girl who loves pink and dinosaurs. So, you know who loves the train and who wants to wear dresses all the time, you know, it's just all of that mix together and having a child.

40:37 Cassidy and I cannot imagine having a child any other place for this is such an amazing place to raise a child, so they can see and do is smell everything that there is to see in the world right here, you know, and you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your grandfather sometime you have to come back cuz we have to talk about that when you got to do your work at all end and other things to thank you.

41:13 Sorry, I was like smacking up the