Brynn Cadigan, Gradydon Moll, and Morgan Moll

00:01 My name is Brandon. I am 37 years old. Today is Thursday, June 11th, 2020. I am currently in Polson, Montana.

00:12 And my conversation Partners today or my brother.

00:18 Morgan Moll and Morgan, I don't know if you need plastic and my father great and so she goes by Brody.

00:28 My name is Morgan 23 years old. Today's date is Thursday, June 11th, 2020. I'm currently in Bozeman Montana and say I'll be having a conversation with my sister Brandon and my father Braden or bloating.

00:47 My name is Graydon Moline 69 almost 70 Thursday, June 11th, 2020. I'm in Polson Montana and I'm having a conversation with my daughter Bryn and Son Morgan.

01:11 Partner Christy recommended like she just sent us information and recommended that we do this, but I think it's also appropriate because

01:19 Dad is about to turn 70 in like 3 weeks and it's also almost Father's Day. So I thought that was inappropriate. So yeah, I guess my first question for Dad is how have you parented differently than you were. It's kind of like, how were you parented? And how is that different from like what you did with us?

01:48 Well

01:50 In a lot of ways you have been reading my dad's Diaries recently. So one thing that I that I think I reflect on it, so he did an awful lot of stuff with us as kids weather was swimming y'all gone out the river traveling bird-watching biking playing sports while traveling, you know, so those are all things that you know things that I've shared with my kids engagement in their activities the same as my family was engaged in activities with me, you know, probably one difference was that there was some some level of corporal punishment in in my phone like that.

02:33 So yeah, I've never I've never had my kids at all. So I've never used any kind of punishment or anything like that or grounding or anything like that. So that's different than where I was raised by my damn.

02:55 Or do you think that that punishment stuff, you know, what impact that have on you you think is it did have any positive effects on you? What did you really see the negative effects in that dungeon points to Parenting Style?

03:10 Well, I think I don't think I mean I think Clinic I mean if you did scientific studies unequal doesn't work. What do you look at it if it's definitely a judicial system or whatever but I mean, I think there is some I mean if you look at psychologically there is it does have an effect on people that has low self-esteem.

03:38 What was some of the activities you mentioned doing with you?

03:45 Yeah, we play Loud baseball. We used to go out and River iOS. I had a boat. My dad had a bowl of my cousin had a boat and we would go Holding On the River Lots swimming session exploring Club in the Rock River actually in the same. Hometown is Ronald Reagan or five miles from there. And you know, my dad was an adventure on the river that was something to your house to be built Treehouse houses, and they used to build forts and stuff like that sell jumping off a cliff jumping off Bridges and stuff like that. What's a traveling? You know, my dad was a Navy guy and he loves wherever so we went to Massachusetts to the ocean and spent time and to the to the mountains. So there was just a lot of traveling that was really exposed to a lot of that. My parent might have an English major and both my parents were.

04:45 They rattle stars align encouragement to listen to music and reading and just outdoor things. I mean nature bird watching riding bikes places to hike all the kinds of things that we've done. We really didn't Camp too much just Illinois for like a place where there's a lot of places to camp find places to camp. I need to hide even so, you know, we didn't know it's not much but I think that's a lot of reason I moved out while having an interest in the outdoors and not really being able to access that pisses most Illinois private land Wilderness around that you can just hear there's a there's a lake here. There's a river here at beautiful Mission mountains. There's just so much to do and all those things floating riding bikes.

05:45 Those kinds of things but y'all the traveling about taking the kids and then all those outdoor things.

06:02 How would you say that you parented more and I the same but then also differently so we others just like Morgan is

06:13 Almost 15 years younger than I am and we actually have different mom. But so how would you say you parented us the same and how would you say that? We were parents of us different. Well one thing I thought about is there a meaner spend some a certain amount of trauma. I guess they're both you guys have experienced extenuating circumstances in your life. We separate your mom separated from me when you were too and you move to another town and then you wind up moving to Colorado. Also, there's a certain amount of the time that I really didn't have any access to you and your so you're a long ways away and then when not have visitation when you're around it was limited and then more mom passed away nine years ago both had unusual circumstances.

07:13 When you have

07:16 I know how much it was and I guess I am older having Morgan. So you may be a little more chilled-out about things and other night when you were little. You try to make things right? I think well, you try to make things right when you came to visit or was always that you have time to make the visitation is as pleasant as good as it could because there's a certain amount of undermining and stuff that was going on. So that was that was that made things different.

07:58 So and then bargain a sister, I mean, it's really really easy to raise and you guys have done real well in school and I mean to call has been motivated. So there really wouldn't be struggles really over things that would would happen with raising kids. Lots of times you just the people are rebellious or getting in trouble and that kind of thing so I never really been faced with a really

08:33 How would you state has eyes just the extenuating circumstances like affected you like just like how did the pressures affect you but you say well, yeah.

08:49 Particularly in the end in the case your Mom it was so it was really a struggle and undermining and stuff for you know, I don't know I guess when you turned 18, maybe she really had. No she had no because it was some game or undermining or are sprouts or withholding visitation or trying to follow that so I mean, it really gets a hold of hate mail in the mail or something like that. You know with Morgan was any of the tragedy of losing his mom and short. Of time and then I was just kind of what we just got to keep going. You're going to be a freshman.

09:49 And so looks like we just got to keep going and it worked out real good, but it was it was hard. So I mean both of those circumstances were Maddox.

10:04 So pretty cases people with the last name in a sentence with them, you know having two parents having a party to help you raise your kids and then you had to suddenly come to go to a being a single parent. How did you style? How did that affect you?

10:22 Well, your mom was real engaged and everything so I can so I turned into my mom and dad. So it's it was a different role model that was jumping the kind of the nurturing person. Kind of a leader and stuff. Like that sucks. I still have to be to be both.

10:41 I want to remember the moment. It always sticks out to me was when we finally going cuz mom usually a lot more than and growing up. So I always remember.

10:56 You know, I'd be able to skip school. I was always sick all the

11:01 High School knows just where I was sick, but you kind of push me and you just got to be a complete opposite. We saw that conflicting sides obviously to be well and feel good. And also you wanted me to go to school all the time and you know, I always put my best foot forward and then always stuck out to me ever since that point, you know, I really didn't miss any school specifically especially for your illness.

11:34 Well, I feel like that was I mean I noticed that too like

11:39 There was just certain things that it was almost I don't want to say permissive but like you were permitted to do more. Maybe you could like Coral get away with with Mom and like Dad wouldn't have it. So like I was just noticed a lot of changes in you at that time of like I don't think you missed any High School any school in high school you missed a ton in like even just 8th grade and then like you were a super picky eater and you like pretty much I mean, I know a lot of that has changed since College you start to call it but like you to pay sigelei didn't do that anymore either cuz it was just kind of like wool dad has two dads making the food and and a lot of it was just that was just kind of Summer's as well. We're going to bomb did cook. So I just set decided early on it. Yeah. We're going to have a good Square meals and I'm going to cook more.

12:39 Stop. I mean I could cook I cooked when you are a little after your experience Robin. She was alive so I can eat decent healthy meals all the time. So I found to do that. I guess one of the times I guess I remember early on that you want to soccer and and your first week of Soccers at Woodbury County Fair. So it's all good and they would start at midnight the first day again and just this kind of tree like the saying and and soccer was your life and you came home after the first night instead.

13:33 And I remember AP classes you go why I really don't want to take those, you know, and I don't know why is it hard. You could take it you can do that and you took them all and you passed all the this is Statewide test. So, I mean, it's no big deal. It was an effort you did and I mean, I think that's part of why you excelled so well in college and you got that graduated with honors,

14:06 Well, I guess I would ask both of you. Like what hat like when mom died like how did that changes you guys's relationship because I feel like for me. Anyway, I'll just like throwing my example of like I of course was like an adult I didn't live here with you guys. Like I was in Missoula at the time and but I felt like our the relationship of the three of us changed quite a bit at that time, especially in the sense that like and I don't know if this was just my section of the situation it probably was and it was just kind of where I was at in my life. Like I hadn't been super involved in you guys as lives.

14:48 Or I didn't feel like I had because I mean a lot of it was just like I was newly sober I was like just like still like super selfish, but I also felt like you guys were like, right you were like the three of you and sometimes it was hard to come into that world. So I feel like just like the circumstances surrounding mom's death. Like we were all kind of forced together so quickly like I mean she was in the hospital in like gone within like 3 days and you guys were suddenly like staying at my house in like our relationship just change really quickly, but I feel like we've all gotten like a lot closer in that time frame. I mean that's a huge generalization. Obviously, there's like way more specifics to that but like

15:43 Do I spell like that has been like a silver lining of the situation per se but I don't know. I wonder what you guys think about like what has changed besides like with dad's already set up like he was kind of more of accountability probably than mom would have been

16:04 And you really stepped up the one when we have to come down to the she got life-flighted to Missoula when you were at the hospital. I'm nearly stepped up during that whole thing. I guess big change in your in your responsibilities in engagement at the compounding issues worth. It really didn't have any immediate family. My mom would love to hear for a while. She's pretty old and then there's no immediate family ever lived where when we lived when we are Raisin Bran and herein in Olson cell.

16:46 It's been but now we get together lot now and camping kayaks. I think we've got a lot closer through all this and it's great to have friends just up the road 45 miles so we can quite often.

17:03 More do you have any thoughts on like your end? I'm just changes the code or I mean already most you need you to change and quite a bit and then just to have all this stuff, I mean, we are you mention the schooling stuff at that change, but I feel like I definitely definitely kind of a I rely on Dad.

17:31 Male role model

17:40 Set priorities just grew up a lot more.

17:46 I mean, I think it's good in a lot of ways. You know, your mom was sick for quite a while and I'm you're really close to her. So that was a lot of ways that you guys spend a lot of time together and I think you were looking out for her when you stayed home because you were concerned about herself that was part of that whole thing. But in retrospect is good. You guys were that close? You got to spend all that that extra time weather.

18:15 Yeah, and then commenting on Seneca Lake you definitely stepped up and I mean we were in the hospital to change but you know, we were down there who won the two weeks and we just constantly around each other eating together and you know, I think Dad especially really relied on you to either deal with me or just, you know, be around just kind of supporting us there and Daniels well.

18:47 Yeah.

18:53 I don't know. I guess I'm just saying I'm still thinking about Mom in like

18:58 Tower we all like I mean obviously like a lot of light circumstances have been used but like how have we walked change?

19:07 Results

19:14 And I don't know I guess I would say for just reflecting on it myself is like.

19:20 She obviously like Mom she was like my mom. Like I asked Dad has commented like I don't have a good relationship with my own mother and she's a difficult personality. And so Mom was my mom and

19:43 But like you know where I was at in my life, I still had it really been able to like show up for her that much like have a really good relationship with her.

19:56 But I think like since that point like that point is like I look at as like a real turning point in my life of like

20:05 She won't like basically I had to step up in my life. I have been at a point where I was like basically kind of dragging my feet about going into adulthood is factorable human being and I think that that lost like just really made me like

20:26 Have to do that and like

20:29 Bia like just show up or people basically be a better person.

20:36 Yeah, I feel like as well just like music.

20:40 Just our relationship. I feel like I mean it was always you know, you were

20:45 And stuff like that, but I think it was until this point. We were an emotional aspect as well, you know, and someone could talk to you in kind of support each other rather than just someone who's, you know, an estranged uncle that you sometimes talk to you or Siri.

21:12 Yeah.

21:19 I don't know what else my thinking about just

21:26 How has it been different to like parent has since we've like both been adult I mean

21:33 Oh, how is it just been different because especially for you and I like

21:39 You have been like I was basically an adult most of the time that we've had like our significant relationship. So how has I don't even know how to

21:52 For Monopoly how has that been different as opposed to like?

21:57 You know seeing more transition from like a teen to child or to adulthood.

22:04 Morgan are you yeah, I like how is it different? Like now that we're both adults basically.

22:12 Most really easy. But I mean you never quit being a parent is a lot of it is that mean it's just going to different stages. I mean watching you I mean different jobs, you've had a disappointment when you didn't get your 10 year at Columbia Falls. So it's just kind of different kinds of support and Thompson Road. That is I guess when you're you're have kids you think they'll make the other guy on their own but yeah, it's kind of like well like we were talking the other day to do is well, what about your lab jobs? So you're in this transition you're going to be out of school for a short. Of time. What what's going on with the old time job coming up or not, so I still got to try and micromanage and coaxed.

23:12 Why you wind up to unstuck Brent and I are a little more like we're kind of like something's got to happen. Yes yesterday with whatever's going on war against this kind of flows along and it always works out. I mean, it doesn't matter what happens you can come along but the outcome is always

23:39 Yeah.

23:42 What was your experience of being a?

23:45 I guess we both of us but going from raising us then, you know when I went away to school suddenly having kind of an empty nest. How was that experience like that transition? Well young Ashley, I was working all the time. So it it didn't matter. I was so tired last summer that you didn't you didn't come home and meanest with that's the way it's supposed to be a meteor supposed to move on in your life, but it wasn't the kind of got used to you being around in the summer and bread. I mean it's kind of gets to this time of year are May or June you got well if we're going to go do some stuff and I got to clean the house. We're going to be doing activities and that was even back to you know, if you came. Yeah, we got to go outside from my turn to buy some spring clothes and things for summer activities in get to work.

24:45 Free camping or Grandma be here or we're going to go to the Oregon coast. You know, where do when you came home? We what are we going to do? You know where you going to borrow? That was that was what and when was one of the worst things to the river kayak activities?

25:22 Well, what what have you done to combat that like what what have you changed in that, you know kind of us being app that you kind of Bean on your own not having two people to worry about but I have Christy and then you died upon. I'm a City Commissioner and Simon filed in different organizations and associations and travel quite a bit. Which gone anywhere lately these days. Nobody else hasn't I'm not going to be getting on a plane anytime soon. But I'm looking forward to getting off the Oregon coast and you'll know that the restrictions are lifting wandering around Montana even then and so just tell him it's hard to say right now cuz we're all kind of go anywhere or do anything.

26:12 With what's going on society if it's a whole different challenge, but find Chana so so so so much open space that you can you can isolate pretty easily. Needless to say. I have not been a good Elder and play sky

26:30 True

26:34 True

26:39 I have a question if that's okay.

26:46 Great, and I wanted to ask you when you were talking about after Robin right after Robin passed away and you or you know, having this. Of time of being kind of like the strict parent, especially to Morgan. It sounds like

27:04 Did you ever question that or feel like you needed to be less strict during that time or like can you talk about what your thought process was in in being more strict strict was I can't do this. You can't do that. Yeah, just start you got to go to bed. I got to do this you got to eat that was just said that role model of this is what you do is go to go to school like I go to work all the time, but I and I just wanted to soccer I just yelled the AP stopping at those are the only I don't think we never really struggled over your spending too much time watching TV or gaming.

28:04 Yes, I did all your homework. Dorothy has been responsible for doing stuff in a timely basis. So there's never been a problem about clean up your room or whatever you decide. I don't think it was it was a broader sense.

28:25 It was more than it was really nothing especially kind of early spring this till my 8th grade year.

28:43 I mean, I think it's cool. Which could have come back to bite me but I end up missing most of that probably quite a bit.

28:57 It's Waialae. We use instead of just trauma things like that. That mean was passed away or was there really wasn't a struggle but about you going back to school. That was fine.

29:15 I think there was some news, you know, I think there's a couple days like go for an hour or two. I'd spend some time in the counselor's office the time you was kind of at that point. I had missed two weeks plus the time to illness but it would have been

29:31 Going back, I guess and the News sound do some discussion of when you know the amount of school I missed if I should have been held back.

29:43 What things like that but most most of my teachers recommended not so I can remember mr. G so that's what all those guys was Randy Scott Wilson High School classes that there's no point.

30:12 Yeah, going over there. I mean you want to hang out in mrs. Hinman's office and I guess some of that was you know, I was trying to get back in the groove.

30:37 Yeah, I think you guys were just trying to.

30:40 Like just move just move forward. I mean as quickly as everything changed it was like I just remember being in the hospital and just a realization of like

30:52 I mean we have been talking about like okay. We're this is what we're going to do to bring Mom home. Like it's not going to be easy, but we'll be able to do it and then to just like bam it's very clear that she is not coming home. And that was just I mean, I think I just actually witnessed a moment where Dad would like realize that of like, oh,

31:16 I'm only here now like this is not this is never going to be the same again. And so I think for you guys it was just like trying to try to make it work and I think that did a really good job with that. I'm just kind of like even if you were like, oh my God, like I don't even know what to do for one second to the next you were like, okay. Well, the next indicated action is for us to Lake have Green Lake. Let's go do that and red working over here. So let's go over there right now and then try to go to the soccer tournament in like just trying to keep going in the best. You could Avenue after that. You have to go you have that internship at Bigfork. So you have to for college here to go the day after the after the Memorial and then Robin sister and Morgan are sitting here by herself pretty much just no family around.

32:13 There's some good support from when you buy that's always the thing. We always say there's not much friends needed a new by area or even the country but I mean you kind of substituted that with all the friends you've made to call Action over the years. They did a good job supporting us to that time in Audis.

32:32 Yeah, even just like your soccer families and stuff. We just never but we never missed any games.

32:41 Well, I mean after that we just went thank you for kind of surprised. We showed up the first weekend and Libby. So those games.

32:51 Yep.

32:54 And then you guys always came. I mean that was real good and Connie and another friend every time we go to a different town, you know old friends would show up for the games. They have Missoula Billings Helena Great Falls, you guys follow a bunch of people show up for those things old friends.

33:26 Yeah.

33:27 I'm kind of a big overarching question, but you have any looking back now you have any regrets on how you looking back now?

33:41 You know, sometimes I look back on with Brynn, you know, we used to go to the in everybody's mom. Fine, but we used to go camping with people and we did we had what we called the last weekend in empty pool party Staffing in retrospect you go.

34:00 The people in that, you know, you look at all the kids. So they turned out great big fires and we are floating in hiking doing all this playing baseball and stuff like that. But you think they are there wasn't nobody got DUIs, but we could have been

34:29 Don't even really remember that far or it's just like funny. It's like oh, yeah. Well, we burnt some things we shouldn't have in the fire fire. I was a railroad tie and then one of the kids later on after getting lung cancer did we do that to him some stuff that was bad for the environment and it wasn't good thing to be in a lot of stuff is different like you let kids ride in the back of the truck back then like that was just a Montana thing so it wasn't like

35:13 We were worried about it. What about with him or anything else? Will it just fall back with Morgana was the two of us so you got to get the same.

35:51 Yeah, I mean we did more of our camping just by herself. So I mean loud though. Skip people just kind of tapered off they are doing and have been doing that stuff for a while. So we are kind of well, we can't with you. That's a lot of baby Richard a few times Ted, but most of the most of people kind of quit

36:18 Can I have can I?

36:22 Brynn and Morgan, I'm curious if you would want to share with your dad what you know a lesson you learned from him that's been important to you.

36:31 Your head when all my stuff.

36:35 So much I mean

36:38 I have an ethic for like travel and just like politics and current events and culture music things like that that because of him we share the same profession. So he worked in the disabilities field for a long time and I just found in special education in the last year. So I do he's just generally like super like we share a kind of eight same anxiety levels, but he's just like super calm and steady.

37:20 And that's just not like intuitive to me and that's not like when I was basically living with my mom for a decade without his influence like that's not something that I had during that time at all. So that's always been a really good forced to have around.

37:39 Yeah, I mean I could go on but yeah, I think mine is especially being kind of a human being specially non-padded going in a different direction in like my field of Sciences, but I definitely it helps me keep in mind what the goal is.

38:04 My commute it's not necessarily for the knowledge you anything like that. It's the little things of improving someone's life and just doing what you can and fighting the good fight every way you can.

38:23 Well the chip off the old block. I was a political science major hear you're a cell biology and Neuroscience do it. I don't know where you got that from that all the time.

38:38 Where is give him a hard time Morgan hard time? Because we're both like human services people. I have been forever. I don't do that. You can find some math go do science math, those things like we're bleeding hearts you go. Like actually saw things with science will be over here with our bureaucracy.

39:04 Anyway

39:09 I think I don't know. I think that I'd we have like a minute. We have 46 seconds. So I think place thank you for being wonderful.

39:24 Thank you.

39:26 IQ