Angie Apodaca and Cynthia Apodaca

00:04 Hi, my name is Cynthia Apodaca on 47 years old. Today's date is February 19th, 2010. I'm an East Los Angeles and I am the daughter of Angie Apodaca.

00:20 I'm Angie Apodaca age 74 going on 75 the date today is February 19th, 2010 and right here in East LA and I'm the mother or the person this recording me you're asking questions.

00:40 Alright Manzano, we get down to us as a family did you know from the beginning that you wanted for kids?

00:49 No, I want to six.

00:53 Okay. Well, you're lucky though. You have two boys and two girls wear you overprotective mother while we're growing up. How do you feel I wasn't over protective mother you out or no?

01:05 Why because I was your thorn in your side.

01:20 And how about us as individuals as your children, you know, did you feel that we had different personalities or did you feel a couple of us more had more things in common than the others you all had an individual personality. Roberta was different. She was sweet. Everything else is I don't know where she came from and then you had your brother Al that was a pain in the butt. Then you came you are a thorn in my side then I had Eric that I don't know my poor mijo. Maybe that's why God took him so soon.

01:53 And did you sell even more protective of Eric being that he was the baby? I think it was protective of all of you. So I was like a cat anybody tried to touch you some Wham

02:05 Okay, let's talk about my brother, you know being that he's no longer with us and being that he was the baby.

02:14 I know growing up. Well as an adult, I know he led his life in the gay lifestyle and sorry to say he's no longer with us. But as a kid, I am my brother had like a little bit of feminine ways to him. Did you see that as a mom?

02:34 In a way I did I didn't say I didn't cuz he was look different but the vignette everybody's different everybody has their own ways of growing up. And what do you mean by different different? He was he was a passenger in Nevis easygoing and and then he's to cling on to you and Roberta and everything else. Well, you know, I have good memories, especially in our high school years, you know being that we went to school together and hung out with the Disco crowd and I know we went again against the grain during our school years because

03:11 Hanging around the Disco people hang around with the gay people that we just stood out.

03:18 And I know you got really protective of Eric during that time because you didn't like guys are football players the jocks to you know, they stuff to Eric. You know, how did you respond to that? I know you were at our school all the time. I went to school at took him. We went in late and he was dressed like he has taken device and his boots and he's really and he was walking down the corridor but I stood there standing watching him where you win some smart-ass. We not the Yelp yelled out the doors. That's something and it said something about gun. I went over there to the classroom and knocked on the door and I told the teacher I want that boy and he just Why that boy it's called the boy over and he was the one who's yelling at Eric making fun of him and everything else and that's his noodle. What you don't do that to a human being you don't do that to my son. And I said, I'm telling you now.

04:18 And so I was overprotective in this if you want to do that. Just don't do it.

04:24 Well in high school, I don't know how I felt being that I was older sister, even though we would like only a year-and-a-half apart. I just felt that I needed to protect him especially from the bullies at school in the football players. That seemed like they were homophobic and

04:44 I didn't care for that. I didn't care for the way. They treated my brother, you know to me he was my brother and

04:52 I'm just glad we got out of high school and it was over with and during that time when I know he didn't come out to you and say he was gay with it during the high school years. Did you have a feeling? Yeah, he's gay. In high school when he was going to high school with his friend Paul to this day. I still think of his friend all the time. Yeah, I knew and everything else. But you know, you was my mijo. He was my son. I couldn't care less the one good thing though that Eric wasn't flamboyant. Like some gay guys are I mean, there's a stereotypical but then there's variations of gay men gay teenagers, you know, you don't have to be flamboyant to say your gay that's just his lifestyle.

05:39 And tell me more about when Eric became sick when the when the AIDS virus first came out on TV back in the 80s. Did you have a feeling that Eric would somehow be affected by that? I got a laugh remember Huntsville live with us that you can when we when they both of them moved in together remember needs to live in the apartment over there Whittier and every since I want to move back in because I want to buy a car and ankles fine then huh. Tell your mother she could rent me a room too. And you just and I said who's hot and you said it's better than Eric Hans the room and I remember Eric was catching getting sick catching colds. And then it has to tell them who go take an HIV test and it could what the hell is that and Ankle tell him that other than having a cold in a

06:39 We have the cough cough and everything off hunts new or something was going on because I told Hans please tell him that I know is he was walking out the door and he cooks car ride home, but you never told Eric that yeah, y'all didn't have to. Don't forget to take an HIV test in the night Saturday night, you know at that time. I didn't really think Eric was sick. He got sick in 1991. I know but we didn't know we didn't know till he starts showing all the symptoms which are some of the common things like pneumonia constant cause red spots blotches like monches on your body and that's when I kind of thought you know, he was losing weight a lot and

07:31 And then that's when I brought it to you and Dad's attention and I know Dad didn't know anything about that kind of stuff, but I told him maybe we could

07:39 Go to an HIV Clinic and meet with the nurse, you know, when the nurse could just give us, you know, maybe tell us some of the symptoms that the AIDS are the HIV patients have and everything. She showed us we marked it off as yes. Yes. Yes. He had all of that. He had all of that but he never said anything. You know that one time. I remember I was coming from a woman's group meeting and I went home and they told me they're not here. They're they took Eric to a clinic or they took Eric simply to the hospital and I said they did we're so I went over there real quick and I found it and it was AIDS clinic and then he says, I guess you know what I have I'm off.

08:28 That was a good thing about it though is that we didn't shun him. We're being in a Latino family. Sometimes you find that it's very hard for Latino parents, especially fathers with their machismo. And the way they are usually they don't want nothing to do with a gay son to begin with because they're not going to carry on the family name seems like some men, you know and families are like that. But I mean our dad my dad I should say wasn't like that with a wreck and you know, I be proud of that. I mean because even Eric says that when he takes me to the clinic they asked me is that my boyfriend is sugar daddy. Oh my God doesn't even see his friends and they go they thought that they want to know if that was my boyfriend. But I remember my dad telling me that some of the guys came up to him commanding him.

09:28 Saying it's it's awesome to see a father here with the sun because you don't see that and Latino families and the AIDS clinic he was going to at that time was in a Latino neighborhood. So you can relate you know, those those guys could relate and I think they really like the fact that dad was going with him when he was living with you. We went to the one in the town of Whittier. The one in Whittier were used to go and Yuri told the lady we walked in my family has with me. We all went for him to go get a checkup or go get and every time he says you don't have to come but we all went with him to support that there was a lot more to Eric other than just having AIDS I mean age is an illness, but that doesn't determine the person who he was as a son a brother and uncle and he was smart and everything else.

10:28 Brian very intelligent businessman and he never flaunted his sexuality at work either. I mean he go to work and is being a shirt and tie and conduct himself just like any other business man and what he did in his personal life outside of work was his business, you know what he did and you always work cuz you always wanted stuff you always wanted his own car always wanted this and want it that so you always did work.

11:06 Sure.

11:10 I think it was back like an around 1995 when him and I went riding our bikes along the beach in Long Beach and he was wearing a tank top and I noticed red spots in.

11:26 I said something ain't right here. And at that time, it's friend Hans that already moved to Florida. So I called Hans and I asked Hans. You know, what do you think and Han says that sounds like he has HIV and at the time I remember he always had a cough, but it wasn't until I think I talk to you and Dad about it and said, you know, I think Eric should go get tested But Eric played dumb because once Erica passed on and I found his medical records. He went on the day of his birthday and 1990 to take the HIV test.

12:02 When we didn't even know he went to get tested. We didn't know he had it until 1995. But you know, what? How did you feel when you you want it really don don you okay. My son is sick is sick with that. So I suspect when I saw him at the other one went over the river and you got operated the Hollywood Presbyterian and that's when he says when we were at the clinic before they put them in. He says they're guess you know what I have Mom and it says that's okay with you. I know it hurt me because he was like my partner in crime because we're so close in age and we used to love to go to the clubs and dance and stuff and but sometimes I just felt like there was so many other friends of mine from my era from Eric's era that are gone. Now, they're all gone. Do you know that seems like guys that would now be in their forties a whole generation is lost all my hair stylist friends that that I worked with and my

13:02 Girlfriend gay friends that I hung out with they're all gone, but I never thought Eric would actually get it because

13:10 I never seen him doing anything promiscuous, but maybe hit you know, he had his own life without us knowing about it because he lived alone alone. You wanted to live alone and he had his own friend when you got that Mustang when they gave him that Mustang with his but he kept it away from us. I mean, I kind of knew what was up. I knew what it was your daughter. Eric was more like a father figure to Alicia more than an uncle. He was a father figure.

13:49 She was like a daddy and being that I I had her and I didn't have like she didn't have a father. So Eric took on that role and no matter when Alicia was small and sick always in the hospital. He was always by her side by her side and there when she didn't have friends to play with because you play Barbies he play with the Easy-Bake Oven. He he would do every take her to the mall and take her to the show. You know, what what uncle would take the time out of his day to do it Eric did

14:22 There is a time and he was great as an uncle. I give him a lot of credit as my brother to be there and you know for my daughter and you know, I really appreciate that. That's something that you don't always see happen in families. Somebody going above and beyond like he did and I know it was hard for her to grasp onto the fact that he was sick because he meant so much to her when when he was living with you and then, you know retain care of taking care of him. We all took turns your daddy I Alicia and you did and then your brother out for two weeks. It's a nice to each other's life.

15:02 So we were all there and I think when Eric was in his right mind before he got to mention before he reverted back to a baby. I don't think he would have ever expected himself to get to that point. I mean mentally, I mean being that he was a businessman and when I looked at his checkbook there was nothing but Doodles and it's like how could a businessman that works for number's been doodling and his checkbook. That's when I knew something right something ain't right mentally and when he didn't remember us at times, but thankfully his doctor when I told his doctor what are you been doing thing from his doctor said he can't live alone and and that's good that Eric was open enough to want to come live with us. When here she didn't really want us to see if that would have seemed sick, but it was great that he finally made the decision. It's it's terrible that it was the last five months of his life.

15:59 You know, I wish we could have you know, taking care of them even longer. I mean, even though we're close by and we're close as a family.

16:09 You don't know it just happens that way but I'm glad that he was able then we will close family your daddy and I weren't married anymore. But I mean still we were still with the family and like I told your daddy we have to be here for as a family and we were

16:26 So I give you all credit everybody but we all participated and caring for him.

16:33 And that's why I got involved with that guesses when I got involved with the wall. And I said if your brother was alive, he would have any idea what I had a fit to know that you're out there being an activist for AIDS and getting involved and coming out on TV coming out in newspapers are go to been all upset. I know. Yeah, I was looking for and that I was looking to see where I can help at work and do in find me a saw an article in the paper in the newspaper of this young man Richard something about Annie's that he wanted to do something for people that have passed on with the AIDS. So when I saw it, I called and use paper to see if I can get the number of this place. I got the number I called and and that's when they were Friday.

17:33 City Hall to get this Wallace Memorial started. It's for the people that are passed down with AIDS and he wanted to like it's just have something there. You can go sit down at the park, you know meditate there and be there remind it's not like being in the cemetery or something. It's just the wall there to all these young men and women everything it passed on so I got involved with him in the end. They told me they'd call me back that same afternoon. Can you meet us at the city hall to to come and talk as a mother and I am going to buy some beaches over there. So we met in a meeting or not. We met as a group and never met this group, who all is Maria and they were all young kids girls and boys and everything else and ended we're all introduced and they introduced me they go you're going to speak so these console and got me and they were all questioned me and spoke and I told him, you know, they have to have something like this as his eye you noticing.

18:32 I need to be ashamed, you know, do you know these people were here at this and that so they did they did find me background. I was there when they broke the ground and I was there when they dedicated the wall and they do a lot of things we read that article. I brought you they do a lot of things they do a lie to it was they have menstrual you fill out that that helps you to be able to deal with the morning of a record it feel like you're helping out now as a mother to bring awareness more to the Latino Community. I think I am in the way I am good. But I am this around here in Eastvale late because right away, it's like taboo.

19:33 Is somebody who they just assume because you're involved with the organization that maybe you have HIV. Have you ever thought about that? Maybe maybe they do their manager before they want to say that it's just what it is and I'm just people in general. There's a lot of ignorance out there, you know where people they don't know him because they don't know they make assumptions and just because they're not educated but that's good that you got involved with the wall Las memorias because that what that's doing is promoting at education. It's promoting education. Like I said, they have a men's group. They have a face groups they have for the myth. What is it the Middle Stone crystal meth they have everything get it. They get involved in everything anime cannot reach because there was a big break. Because of The Crystal Method was a lot of AIDS spreading again because they're going out there and

20:33 Reaching out to the people that take crystal meth you figure those people when they're when they're on drugs. I don't know what they're doing. You know, they're they're probably having unsafe sex and that's probably why people are catching HIV the drug users. I would say and that's good that you're you're helping out with that to a lot of guts and everything else in Miami. Like a lot of people says you visit the the Walton and Morty I sent the mother and that goes yeah, it's something of nothing to be ashamed of anything. I think that helped you. I mean, I I feel I can speak for a whole family, but I think we all believe that that by you getting involved it kept you sane cuz I think without it, you know what that finding this Outlet you probably would have gone nuts, you know thinking about Eric crying all the time, you know, your son not being able to come back, you know, never never know. I won't say never see them again.

21:33 That's not true. You know if

21:37 God willing, you know, we will see him again. I see him here and there I seem like you said you see people walking young man walking down the street behind but I talked to him a lot bigger drain real bad when we had a lot of rain right here. Remember that week. We had nothing but rain send your daddy up to the cemetery to go make sure that everything floataway Unicode just do me the favour go check the spot if he's there at the grand kids that are here now are my nieces and nephews. It's too bad that they didn't have the opportunity to meet Eric. I mean, I know he he got to meet Elijah and Lauren, but the rest of the grandkids, I think they would have really

22:37 Love him because he loved playing with all the kids that just like the way he was with Alicia. I mean he was wonderful and I'm sure he would have been like that with all the other kids and I wish he still would have been around, you know to lose at such a young age 36. He's in his prime sucks said you're on your soapbox right there. Are you getting involving? You're telling everybody our if that's what gets you through the day and that's what helps you that's all that matters, you know, everybody deals with the loss of Eric in their own way, you know, it's hard for me. Sometimes I have to just

23:27 I wouldn't say tune it out because I think I talked with him most when he's in my dreams cuz I dream of him a lot and he is in his bright colored t-shirts and his little khaki shorts and he's all happy and talking. He's not sick and I dream I'm so often that he's with me all the time. But but I know God, you know through God and through the grace of God. I know we will see him again. We all well so I'm got no, I'm sorry about the wall and I'm glad people see a lot of people we really down on it. But you know what? I guess we're all the prayers and everything else it came up and it's a beautiful walk. It's a beautiful.

24:04 Memorial memorial for everybody and it does that people should go visit at the lot.

24:10 It's hard for some people, you know to to do that it sometimes it just stares up emotions that they thought they had already gotten over. But I think when you when you lose a family member you just don't you don't get over it, you know, there's always something to remind you of that person or you reminisce or just little things the song you hear you say. Oh my God, that's the Carpenters When I Wake Carpenters you ran away like the carpenter so much it hurt when I hear that it brings tears to my eyes because it reminds me of him, but I'm just curious because you're

24:52 You know, you're saying that the Latino Community unfortunately hasn't really accepted like that part of their history in 08 has affected lucky knows what would you want to tell them like the advice that you would give them with because of your experience isn't what you've gone through. What would you want them to learn from your cervix start to say because I know I've gone talk to a couple of groups. They gone to the Wallace Memorial to the office. This is from opposite. The the college that go JoJo go to Pepperdine So Cal Poly Chicano studies or something that you and study they went there twice and there they were showing movies and their release them is Thunder Group isn't teaching them you was even hard for them to grasp grasp or is in your house and then the other day we had

25:50 I remember another group by I went to talk to Lisa Wilhoit. How can you do it? How did you extend your son and you don't live with AIDS and this and that and my son are these Mexican American or Mexican Americans but a lot of them they're all there. There's like they say their dad or their mother or they they look down on the they disown their kids. They throw him out and it gets so hard to hear that the day. How can they do that to the one of their own kids? You don't even do that to an animal because they are there either homophobic or they feel if the person has AIDS that they're going to get it from them. They're going to you know, what they touch them. They hug them they hold their hand they're going to get it which is ridiculous. If they share the same spoon or Fork they're going to get it I can but that's Latino communities. I mean not just letting I was but a lot of people in general but the Latinos they don't talk about it as it's kept under the the rug, you know, it's not right.

26:49 Bad cuz I live it I've never lived in Eastern time. I mean if we lived in PR we lived as a senior when you're looking for a singer comes but I know you weren't brought up here in East LA. I mean so my ways and their ways are different in the a lot of them all when I say I had a son with a to look at me like I had the plague or something in that says there's nothing wrong with it. That was my son but I don't know what the people hear a funny about it cuz even the church I go to the Catholic church right there when I took him some articles and everything else was me that he has a faith, you know of for right there in that group and they didn't want to even pass the literature or anyting so they even the church was slide down on it. Yeah, but that's a lot Enon Church, so I don't know what it's like and Anglo American.

27:49 Communities are churches or what but like the Episcopal as you know, they openly open arms for for people with that one time. We met as a group over there at that Woman's Place in home substance with two years back and we had the blacks in this Chinese and everything. We're there is a group in the snatch in the Latino groups in show up. Yeah, it's funny. There are just down on it. Like it's never happened is that like one lady says, you know what they went through your son in prison and hate to have to see what happens when he comes out. He doesn't come back out with AIDS and then will you know, it's cuz you know what? I think you see more Latinos in prison than you do with HIV, but you know what in prison they don't want to be called homeless.

28:49 But when they're and they're they're doing each other and then and then they come out and say they're you know, they're straight. They got their wives or girlfriends and a big Hatchet in in jail. They pass it on to their wives and then that's how you see, you know, that is straight people having HIV but they keep it on the down-low just like other races when their man go to jail.

29:12 And they're doing what they're doing in there. I mean it's only obvious but they didn't other Macho about it, you know, they could be bringing out the DC's to it's not it's not only you know gay guys, you know that you put in a label on them because it's theirs.

29:27 They're straight people. There's females there's children. There's I know he's just idea and I found it. Right here in East LA more than anything else will only and I don't know when we lived in Pico Rivera kind of shunned us. I know it. That's why Eric A lot of times. When are we going to move out of this place? I know and I think they put a lot of the guys. I knew growing up in Pico Rivera all of them are gone. So

30:03 Yeah, but that's free to act like I didn't exist or to act like he didn't exist. I mean, I'm always going to remember my brother like you have any really great memories that popped mind right now that you can describe to us.

30:21 I think about you know your nieces and nephews that he never got to me. Like they'll be answering this in a few years.

30:28 What I miss about Eric was when we're back in high school and getting to go out dancing all the time and I or ditching school and going to parties and we got to meet all the Disco crowds from all the different schools around me know the area and stuff. And that was fun. Those are my good memories with him or like I would say for instance when I know he was really sick and I was probably two years before he passed on I wanted to take him out for his birthday. I was like one last hurrah, you know, and I I took him to the gay bar out in Studio City because I knew they play Disco and oh my God, we have such a good time. He was living it up and I took pictures of them and he's having all these mixed drinks and dancing. I was like now that's the Eric. I know and that's the Eric. I wanted to see it was so funny because he wanted to go have chili burgers and chili fries after we got out of there.

31:27 But with before we can even make it to the burger place we had to pull over on the Hollywood freeway so he can puke his guts up. Oh my God, that's what happens. Sometimes when you overdo it, but you know, I didn't mind you know, I was so funny cuz that that's a memory that I always have you known. He was just so funny. But as of brother him being an uncle to the grandkids, I mean or to my nieces and nephews that he was wonderful. He was wonderful glass with all the kids all the kids that they really would have been attached to him.

32:09 Ian and I remember with Alicia I have pictures of Eric vacuuming the living room floor and Alicia sitting on top of the vacuum when he's pushing her and she has her dolls in her are hilarious just good memories like that. And I'm glad I I used to take a lot of pictures. So I have you no pictures of him with Alicia and with Joey and Lee and Nani and Josh Vanessa and Solomon and I remember going to Hawaii and and Eric would always call on Solomon twilly with the wig on.

32:45 Solomon look just like my dad was so funny this a good memories and just too bad. It was cut short Eric was a spitting image of my dad and spitting image of his grandfather. I have pictures of my father-in-law and we're back in that gets in the 1818 and I could swear you're looking at the pictures and that's what that is. My son all over again, Erie when I seen the pictures of Simon everything is back in the late eighteen hundreds. I was like, this is

33:27 Erie because it look like Eric totally to that the c58 built but that's how the men aren't in our family there it but he's good looking handsome great personality. Always had a smile on my face always had a smile and it was funny at his own wake one of my friends from high school. She surprised me as she got up there to speak and she said Eric always had a smile on his face. And that's what we have in the stone that smile on his face always with a smile always with this high on his headstone us' it doesn't say when he was born and when he died, I didn't want that because he hasn't gone right? It's just always with a smile and that's Eric always smiling all the time always in a in a good mood.

34:17 That's why I think he didn't really want to see you. No show the side of him where he was sick. You know, he try to try to keep it. Keep it under wraps, you know.

34:28 Yeah, I know. He was a good because he was still a kid. He's still my baby. He's still my baby.

34:36 He had good brothers and sisters. He had like an idiot. He had his oldest sister Roberta and his brother Al that he lives in Hawaii. And then he has Cindy partner in crime and then Alicia my granddaughter and Nani is other granddaughter that were very close to him. My grandson Josh. Those are the ones who were mostly close to him. And then the the great-grandchildren That Was Elijah and Lauren.

35:02 But everything he was so

35:07 He was sent to me was like you look like your dad and his grandfather.

35:12 Call him and I favorite sometimes in school people that were twins who rents your favorite. Cuz we've where are fair-skinned and they thought were who we thought we were Twins were like now we're two years apart.

35:25 So we used to share clothes may be used to get mad at us in high school because we still shared Levi's and shirts and stuff.

35:35 Your future generations to come in the next 20 30 40 years. What would you want them to know about your brother? What a good uncle. He was that they're all going to miss out on that. He was a great uncle a lot of fun and I hope our future Generations that I could show some of the grandkids pictures of him just friends since just the other day while in the summertime my sister brought over her grandkids and when they looked at some pictures I had in frames. They said who's that? I said, that's my brother. This is what brother said Eric they didn't even know. We had a brother named Eric because they weren't born yet and I'd want them to know.

36:23 It was great his great brother, son.

36:28 Nephew? Yeah everything

36:32 He was all right, and I was Angie babe to him and Aunt Baby It's You Babe you let me his cell phone and he's in this is how. What do I do to press it on to go and everything else? And we just press the way you want L has Angie baby because my phone number and he has as you Babe Ruth and you babe everytime you say answer babe. What are you doing? Yes, it was Angie babe to him not Mama, but he was all right. It's a good kid, but no, I am glad and I'm glad for the wallet and Morty hasn't and I can't say no. I can't express myself. I really appreciate it. I really wish other people would you know,

37:21 Come out really support the Wallace Memorial. Will they have done a lot in these last 10 years, whatever and everything else and I give him credit because he's young men. They have them they're all gay. And they're one of the best kids there is in this world because they go out there and they hustle and they go out there and do their job, but they're supposed to do and I give him a lot of credit and all I have to do and I need something I'll have to do is call and ask and don't do it for me right away. And if I need a ride or something like that riches are you do what she tells you to do? And that was it that no more and like a surrogate mother over there at the Walton Memorial.

37:59 Whatever works for you, Mom. You don't you know, everybody handles death of a family member of loved one in different ways, you know, if that's what works best for you. That's great. You don't everybody. I know everybody Mourns differently. We don't want to mourn Eric though. No we want I didn't want another state hunting. It's a celebration we have talked about cuz I have me go there and I say it in the booth the smile. He always had a smile.

38:29 So he's not really gone. None of my book. So we're all my guess is we're all y'all come back from a long line. Like I said, I am just generation and I was here when my great-grandmother was a hundred and five and she passed on and my other grandmother's my mother live to be closing as she goes to make her 90th birthday. So I think we have a long life ahead of us. So it is a long way. Well may our family continue. Generation is generation of all the women in this family are pretty strong strong-minded strong-willed and I think we will hold this family together.

39:15 I will I love my family. I hope somebody who's ever is listening to this. I hope they enjoy it and know what it is living in East LA or something else.

39:31 Something else but like I said the people I live with in the retirement when I tell him and it's funny that people that live right there in the retirement. None of them ever lived any more than 25 miles one day where they live now, then never left East LA they still live here.

39:49 So I and when I talked to them and I go on like all Latinos are different, you know, everybody's different. We're not the same. That's the good thing about being Latino. Well, Chicana my book Chicano.

40:05 When you're born and raised here, yeah, and I believe that because I'm nice a Mexican-American because a lot of times when we were in Pico Rivera, it was all Angela we moved and it was very y'all didn't even know. I was Mexican when you're raised around white people. I don't know. I was Mexican till I went to school and then I said, well, I guess I'm not white.

40:30 But you learned a lot but times change. Did you change and everything else? I am grateful?

40:38 So why were you raised a good family? I love you so I can even in the flaws and they're all for different persons and my son is a minister. And this was a beautician part-time mother cuz her daughter's already 28 years old was a good mother and Eric my baby. I'm very proud of him too because he started he like money so he went to work and he made his money so I give him a lot of credit and they have a good father because he always worked he work like you said,

41:16 Until you started working when he was 11 12 years old. I never work. So I don't know. I had a typical Mexican husband that a wife something. I did not leave a wife should go to work or at home. He supported the family. That's all the way. Look how good he was with Eric. Yeah, some Mexican father aren't like that. He was very good and he took Eric to his doctor appointments. I'm glad for that. What is the cruising Derek talk my dad into having fun things doing fun things Eric now, let's go. Have fun while we can I'm glad he included my dad in on that something out of the norm. I know my dad want to do that.

42:09 All right, Mom. That's it. Yeah, I hope somebody with a resistance to this. I hope they enjoyed it and no maybe by that time and they listen to this. They will be a cure for AIDS Hallelujah to that. Yeah, hopefully more people won't have to endure families won't have to endure what we did as a family.

42:33 You know, I feel it so or if they do maybe by our

42:39 Our conversation here today. Maybe they'll learn how to be a little more have some more empathy for their family members that are real.

42:50 Cuz there's a lot of good people out there.